In any healthy relationship both affection and sex are required to keep both partners happy and in touch with each other.
Most extra marital affairs begin the same way, the husband doesn’t show enough affection to the wife and the wife withdraws from their sexual partnership. It’s an age old problem within marriages, the boredom factor.
It does not matter whether the husband withdraws affection first or the wife withdraws sex, the result is the same a spiraling emotional black hole.
A vast majority of women need affection from their partner in order to stay in love, they have to be kissed, touched and made to feel loved or they simply have no emotional desire for sex.
The opposite side of this emotional rollercoaster is that a vast majority of men need regular sex from their partner in order to feel or show affection toward them. Withdrawal of sex on the woman’s part will simply lead to frustration, lack of emotional attention and a wandering eye.
It is difficult to keep the magic alive in a marriage and it does take effort from both parties.
The attitude of ‘I should only have sex when I want to but I only want to once a year’ is simply not meeting your partners needs.
Similarly the attitude of ‘why do I have to hug and kiss her, I’m married to her aren’t I’ is going to get you as much bedroom action as an inmate in solitary confinement.
If your relationship has started on this slippery slope then it is time for one of you to take the initiative and start dialogue. Talk openly about why you have withdrawn from your sex life or why you don’t show her any affection.
If your husband only shows you affection as a prelude to sex then you need to get him told, it is possible and preferable to show affection at any time of day or night without expecting it to lead to sex.
Believe me guys if you show affection to the woman in your life on a regular basis she is far less likely to withdraw sex.
In the same vein ladies, if you withdraw sex because you don’t feel sexy or just can’t be bothered expect his eye to start wandering. Most men do not WANT to have affairs, they simply come across whatever is missing at home and can’t resist.
Work on showing each other non-sexual affection, start by just getting more affectionate and see if that does the trick to start a new spark but if not sit down and talk, explain your personal needs and desires.
August 11th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Women definitely need affection, and it is great to bring this up so that men can understand this so that both sex and affection are not withdrawn from the relationship.
August 20th, 2009 at 12:29 am
An emotional affair occurs frequently between close friends and co-workers. With an emotional affair, there may not be any sexual activity, however the other person may meet the partner’s need for affection, love, or attention. It is usually understood that when two people are in a committed relationship, they will find all of their attention, affection, and love in their partner. When one person shares those areas with another person, it is considered an emotional affair.
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October 14th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Human feelings are so complex that it is almost impossible to find a general advice. If a partner can’t show affection sometingh is over within the couple, and that is very difficult to rebuild.