The 419 Scam is the No1 online dating scam, also called a Nigerian scam, but it comes in many forms and not only from Nigeria.
We have all heard about the “please cash my money order or cheque for x millions and you get 10%” letters and emails, well that is a 419 scam.
You may not fall for the big pay day scams but are you savvy enough to avoid the more subtle Nigerian scams?
419 scams are now so prevelent on the internet that a cyber sport has been developed around it, called scambaiting, which involves people tracking and communicating with scammers to frustrate their efforts.
Ways in which a Nigerian or 419 scam works on internet dating sites:
1. Registering Their Profile on a Dating Site
The first hurdle for a scammer is getting a profile registered with an online dating site.
Go to any of the big free dating sites and you will soon spot a scammers profile, it will be in bad English, have a username ending in something like 4u or 4luv and be gushing about love, marriage, having children and finding soulmates.
These are the new recruits but the experienced scammers are far more savvy.
Also they don’t only join free sites, as this scam example shows, trusted sites like Match also have their share of scammers and these will be the better ones as they are making enough money to join the paid sites.
2. Hooking a Victim
Their first message to you will usually be very complimentary, stating the many things you have in common (just about everything) and supplying their email or chat address.
They want to get you off the website and chatting privately as quickly as possible.
Love will be declared very quickly and soon talk of visiting you and marriage will begin.
They will spend building your trust until they are sure they think you are mentally planning a future together.
Often they will begin to refer to you as their husband or wife, long before you have ever even met (not that you are going to meet but the promises will keep coming).
3. Request for Money
Then it starts and can come in a million forms. The requests for money may start small but will grow with time. Here are some of the more common requests:
- Money to buy a phone card so they can call you (the exchange rate is worth the trouble).
- Enough to buy a webcam so you can see them while you talk.
- A family member is in hospital/trouble and they need to quickly borrow money. They will seem embarrassed to have to ask and make gushing assurances about paying it back.
- Flight, visa or translation fee money (all backed up with a travel agents letter setting out the costs and reasons for requiring cash not direct payment). This is so they can come to be with you .. of course at the last moment there is always a reason they can’t actually travel.
- A request to cash a living allowance cheque and send the cash by Western Union .. gosh their employers screwed up again and they can’t cash it at a local bank.
- Cash to get a works project off the ground, they have the job but can’t afford to buy/hire/transport the equipment and the profits from the job will be huge .. of course they’ll pay you back with interest.
- They have been working abroad and the company went bust/fired them/employer attacked them/etc and they need to get home to UK/US/Germany or wherever.
4. A Reason for Everthing
If you become at all suspicious they will have a reason for everything and because you want them to be genuine it will be easy to fall for their explanations.
You will also they find that if they ask for 850 pounds or dollars and you say you can only let them have 400 they will suddenly find a reason that 400 is just enough to cover or they will get the rest from someone else .. even though two days ago you were the only person in the world that could help them.
Don’t think for a moment that only the gullible fall for the Nigerian scam, we discussed this in the post about what an online dating scam is and there are many examples on the net of ordinary intelligent people falling for these dating scams.
If you think you may be chatting to a scammer and want some support then head on over to Romance Scams forum. They have a database of known scammers, their current email addresses and photos of innocent people the scammers use from the internet.
In my next post I will tell you how to investigate and find out if you are chatting on an online dating site to a 419 or Nigerian scammer.
June 4th, 2009 at 12:56 am
This is by far the biggest amount of spam that comes across my site. I’ve come up with what I think is a unique method to catch them before any user gets any messages from them but they are relentless.
June 5th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Hi Barrett, yes they are certainly a pain and just never seem to stop. We just have to stay on our toes and try to keep our members as safe as possible.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Anyone been contacted by a man named Chris Valdez? He said he has a website of a construction company in CA. He is in Poland and Dubai doing business.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
He sent me a picture of him at the Wimbleton last year. He has a home in Florida and a daughter named Maria in a boarding school in London. He is a widow. 1st request came for money because his daughters laptop was stolen and that was the only way to communicate with her. I did not send him anything. 2nd request he wanted to send me documents to cash a check and send him enough money to fly home on. He was very embarrassed. I told him I do not date men who ask women for money.
June 28th, 2009 at 9:34 am
This is a great article and I love the honesty.
Avoid Internet Scammers´s last blog ..Online Dating today
July 5th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Hi Tammy
Apologies for taking so long to get back to you, I’ve been really ill for a while.
I’m so pleased to hear you didn’t send this person money, they are obviously a scammer. It’s just a shame some of them are so convincing that people fall for their lies.
Great attitude, to be honest if I was a man I wouldn’t date a woman that asked for money either.
Sally
July 9th, 2009 at 10:07 am
This is shocking, I have not heard of these types of scams. Although if I had come across one of these scammers I don’t think I would have fallen for it. Too true Tammy, I would never date a man who has to ask me for money.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
there is a free website that deals with incidents such as this. You can name and shame the people who cheat and lie on the Internet. Its all free and anonymous and is designed to help us all date more safely. I was caught out so many times by married men and men wanting money from me. Take a look at dishing the dirt and stay safe!!
July 27th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Cant believe the nerve of some of these people, trying to use such obvious scams… its insulting.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Hi Jim, I wish they were so obvious but unfortunately they play on people’s desire to be loved so the attention they offer tends to switch off the alarms in our brains.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Has anyone been scammed by Mildred Hanson?
August 17th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Hi Kevin, if you can tell me more about Mildred (you can use the contact form to send me info) I will do some digging for you. Sally
August 26th, 2009 at 12:08 am
If you’ve ever opened an email account, chances are you have received an email promising great wealth, romance or some other benefit in return for forwarding your bank account details to the sender. These emails are known as Nigerian internet scams because they usually purport to be from a Nigerian person seeking help.
However, scammers from other countries have also taken up the trick.
I came across one from Malaysia, another one from UK and one from Philippines too I guess.
So now this thing has become very common and are being done in different ways.
Anti-scam´s last blog ..Cemetery owner’s attorney denies fraud (Belleville News-Democrat)
August 28th, 2009 at 6:05 am
I was contacted by Chris Valdez.
He said he has a daughter named Maria in boarding school.
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 pm
this man chatted with me as Tommy Rose, his yahoo id was snowendlesslove…….said he had a small son and was looking for a woman to love and be a mother for his son….
September 30th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Hi Anonymous
Just because someone has a child doesn’t make them a scammer, you have to put various warning signs together to help you decide whether you should be talking to this person. I looked up snowendlesslove and found his profile on a couple of sites, none of his profiles actually said anything about him (other than the basics of age, height, etc) so why on earth would anyone chat with this person? Look for profiles that tell you something about the person, then ask then questions based on that information … do the answers to your questions fit with the profile information?
October 16th, 2009 at 12:48 am
hi, I think I am involved with a scammer. Today while we were chatting he mentioned a BTA. I was curious so I googled it. All kinds of internet information came up as to a “Basic Travellers Allowance”. He said this will be attached to his 4 year work visa. He is planning to come to Canada in December. He is in Nigeria now but says he lives in Britian.
Help…
October 16th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Hi Carolyn
Sorry but there simply is no such thing as BTA. Can you use the link right at the top of my blog and send me a message, I will get back to you by my private email and we can investigate together but for now please do not agree to send any money or support a visa for this person.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Just taken in by a scammer named Jerry Matthew Davdison with a 4 y.o. Sam. He did get me for 200.00, but thank god it was only for that amount. Nothing added up and of course I should have followed my gut. He originally asked me for 1500.00. I am not a stupid woman, but he got me. jerry840@yahoo.com
October 16th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
hi im just trying to warn against soldier scammer name sgt robert menez he starts with money for phone conection then for leave i have warned on here once but due to him contacting me again made me do more looking up on him as all i saw was this photo and realy needed to now if he was real well i caint believe a man could be so low i looked up phote through tineye and there was my soldier god bless him he got ambushed 2 years ago they found his body 1 year ago all i want to do now is make sure the man who continues to use his photo gets stopped ive kept everything is there anything i can do at all
October 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Hi Lucy
Thank you for your warning and I am sorry you got involved with a scammer, they really are lower than low.
If possible could you use my contact form (right at the top of the blog) and send me a link to the photo or just send a message and I will givbe you my email addy to send it to, then I can post it and anyone searching will see that a scammer is using this dead soldiers photo.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Hi Jeannette
So pleased you only sent him 200 and you recognised the red flags. You are just more proof that it is not stupid people being taken in by scammers but ordinary intelligent people.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Sally
I am no computer whizz and not sure I am doing this right….but I need to talk with you…..I met a scammer…..and we have been online for 11 months…I am not a stupid woman….but I have been well and truly been taken in by a veteran of scammers…..I wish I found out sooner….and it was only by accident that I found out…..he told me about BTA and when I asked him what it meant….he changed the subject….so went on the net and found out about it….then I went to the various sites they directed me to…..and eventually got to http://www.romancescam.com…where found his photo….I could kick myself for being so naive and gullible….it has left me very empty and numb. I have blocked him from my computer and email and msn….and sent him a mail telling him he had been rumbled and to never ever contact me again. He has had many alias’s and I believe he has been at it for years….I wish there was a way to STOP ALL OF THEM…..and the damage they do.
October 20th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
A woman I met in a dating site gave me this mobil phone 0044*********
she says she lives in bedford england .then she travelled to malaysia for charity reasons and gave me this mobil phone number 0060******** .I tried to look up for the real owner of these phones but got nothing yet. Tried to trace the IP but got nothing cause she has googlemail account. Is there any way i can find out if she is genuin or not?
October 20th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
sally could you please send me your email to my email address so i can send 2 photos of the soldier my scammer uses
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Hi my name is Racheal, I met a south african man on a dating site 3 weeks ago. He said he was flying out to Nigeria on business. i got a call from a doctors early hours, asking for me, but as his wife!
I was told he had been badly beaten and mugged and is still in hospital.
This was Tuesday morning, and is still there now. I have spoken to him and the doctor, and also a friend of his that lives in germany.
I have now been asked by the friend if i could send some money to help pay his hospital bill and to help him get to the Embassy. I have phoned him ever day, as i have become attached to him, once again, he also stated he lives in scotland, and he loves me and wants to marry me!!
I am sooo confused what to do, just incase there is a slight chance.
October 25th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Racheal think about it logically. He needs YOUR help financially to get to the Embassy and pay the hospital … why can’t his work, family or friends help him? If he was sent there for work then his employers are responsible to get him medical help and any help he needs from the Embassy and if he is self employed then the chances of him travelling without good insurance is virtually a non starter.
Asking for you as his “wife” is simply designed to make you feel responsible and emotionally attached to the scammer. Your heart is so concerned turning cartwheels that someone you care about is bessotted with you that your brain doesn’t concentrate on the inconsistencies in their story.
If you call me now I can let you speak to my doctor …. of course he is my father and versed in telling such lies (obviously my father is not a liar or scammer but do you see how easy it is). You can call my friends in Egypt, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand, Cyprus and numerous other places in the world but does that mean I am genuine or just that I know people in other countries who are prepared to help me with my scam?
So he is South African, living in Scotland, with friends in Germany and working in Nigeria. Possible yes, probable, no.
These scammers will send you official looking documents from hospitals, hotels and government officials, they will play with your emotions to make you feel guilty but it is all a scam.
DO NOT send a single pound, dollar or euro please, this is a typical scam.
October 25th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Hi Lucy I have sent my email address to you and will try to trace the photos you send me.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I am so sorry you have been conned by a scammer Phyllis. Please let us know what name and email he used so hopefully others can avoid him.
I have emailed you with my private email so feel to reply and we can discuss your experience and where to go from here.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Hi Marce
I have deleted the telephone numbers in your comment because if this lady is genuine it is not fair to publish her phone numbers.
If you are also using googlemail then this is how to trace the original IP:
open her email
at the top right you will see a little down arrow next to the reply button. Press that and choose “show original”
this will open a new window with lots of gobblydegook on
do a search (Ctrl+F) for the term Received: from
there will be losts of lines with received from …. go down and find the last one at the bottom of the page
this is the ip of the originating senders computer
Also you say she is travelling for charity work, show an interest in her charity work and check it all on the internet. Get her work number in England and call, ask to speak to her (while you know she is away) and this will tell you if she really works there.
I doubt you will be able to find out if that number is registered to her but is the network she is on registered to a UK company?
November 17th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I heard about this other scam where “pretty girls” befriend men in wealthier countries, tell them they are visiting and need money for passport, travel etc. and never get back..
Anand Srinivasan@Google Wave tricks´s last blog ..How To Insert HTML Code Inside A Google Wave
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Hi Anand
Yes that certainly happens, particularly in countries like Russia. I’m busy writing some articles about this subject so hopefully they will help some men avoid such women.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Sally……I did not get your e-mail…..can you send me your address again…heading it – subject – SCAMMERS…..and I will keep an eye out for it…..i am still emotionally embroiled in all this…..emotionally….but trying very very hard to listen to my gut.
Sorry for the delay in my response….have not been here since then.
Phyllis
January 2nd, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Hi:
Now that I’ve read all these e-mail messages I guess I don’t feel so stupid and it’s beginning to hurt less. I met someone on SeniorPeopleMeet. He winked at me, we started what seemed like a “too good to be true” relationship (and it was). I was suspicious because he was in Dubai, had a Dubai number but was going to be moving back to the Woodland, WA area where his adoptive father now deceased originally lived. His birth mother died at childbirth. His screen name is SOM1TOMATCHWITH. His correspondence starts off beautifully worded, almost as if written by someone else. He fell in love with me quickly, hated liars and cheaters. Has an 11 year old son but is divorced because his ex-wife cheated on him. Has not been with another woman in 6 years since the divorce. He is a realtor in Dubai. He will tell you that a busy businessman is purchasing a property that he manages however he is stalling in finishing the purchase. He will tell you that he told the businessman that you invested in the property that he is selling so part of the commission belongs to you. At this point I stopped him to ask questions, specifically why he would involve me in a lie when we’ve only known each other for 6 weeks. We started off by e-mailing then it went on to telephone calls to and from Dubai. He asks that I not discuss our relationship with my family and friends because he wants them to see how happy he makes me. When I confronted him about the lie and that he had emphatically stated that he hated liars (and so do I), he called me selfish and that I was only thinking about myself. His grammar and diction changed dramatically. Suddenly it became apparent that the previous e-mail messages were copied and pasted and his true nature was exposed.
I need closure even though I am 99% sure this was a scam. Is there a way that I can send you his information and photo that he is using so I can be 100% sure? Thanks for your service.
IsseyB
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:46 am
Hi IsseyB
You can use the contact form and send me an email with your private email address. You can then send on this persons details and I will see if I can find out anything to give you some closure.
Sally
January 3rd, 2010 at 4:03 am
Have re-sent it Phyllis, hope you get it this time.
January 8th, 2010 at 3:39 am
You know, trying to find a date online is hard enough without these scammer a-holes trying to get money out of people like that.
The sad thing is that they must be making a decent living from it or they wouldn’t keep doing it.
Steve
Steve@Pay Off Credit Card Debt´s last blog ..The 3 Best Reasons To Use Cash
January 10th, 2010 at 5:39 am
That is very true Steve, if it didnt work they wouldnt bother and yes it puts so many people off online dating. The sad thing is people who start online dating never bother reading all the information before they plunge in headlong, if they did they would know what to look for.