Are you being conned by an internet dating scammer? Read the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers to find out.
Almost every successful online dating scam follows a set pattern of behaviour.
Once scammers find something that works they will use it until people get wise to the scam and then move on to something new.
Unfortunately, as dating scams deal with our most basic instinct (the desire to love and be loved) this old trick is not running it’s course, it still works every day.
Here is the basic behavior pattern of an internet dating scammer, the psychology behind each step and the red flags to look for … learn to read the signs.
The Scammers Approach
They will send a short introductory message as soon as you or they join the site. They will often approach people 10 to 15 years older than they say they are.
They will very quickly (usually in the first one or two messages) want to move off the site and on to yahoo, msn or mobile texting.
If you agree to move off the dating site within 2 days they will remove their profile from that site and inform you they have done this because they know they have found the one they were looking for.
They will explain that English is not their first language so they are slow at typing (in actual fact they take so long to respond because they are also chatting to 4 other potential victims at the same time).
Red flag:
They want to get you off the dating site as quickly as possible .. ask yourself why?
Scammers Cover Story
This is just one cover story but it will give you an idea of how creative they are.
They will begin by telling you they are a business man or woman and are either currently doing contract work in an African country or they are in Europe at the moment but will be travelling to Africa on business soon.
They will usually say they are French, Belgian, Dutch, Italian or whatever because when you speak on the phone it can be difficult to tell what their accent is.
Together
They will chat to you daily and within a week they will tell you they are in love with you, they have been waiting for you all their life, they have dreamed of meeting someone like you and they can’t wait for you to be together.
They are perfect for you, almost too good to be true. Everything they tell you sounds like they read your profile and messages then invented their entire persona just for you (there’s a hint in there).
They will quickly talk of visiting you with a view to moving your relationship to the physical level and will talk of marriage.
Red Flag:
Too much, too soon, never met and nobody is that perfect for you. It’s one of the joys of relationships, we have to compromise and if someone is just “perfect” then you should smell a rat.
First Request For Money
This will usually come after 10 to 14 days of chatting daily and take one of four forms. The request will be in an amount from 1000 to 20000 UK pounds or US dollars (although sometimes much more), they will sound so embarrassed to have to ask you BUT:
- A medical emergency
- Victim of a crime.
- Visa money and flight money to come to be with you.
- A business deal is slipping through their fingers.
The medical emergency will take the form of needing to see a doctor because they are sick or must pay a hospital bill for either them or a close family member. They will say it’s only a loan, someone owes them money and as soon as they get it they will send it right back to you.
The crime will take the form of their wallet/passport/laptop/luggage has been stolen and they are stuck in Africa and need to get home (this may be coupled with the need to pay the hospital bill after the attack).
Of course they have to travel a few hundred miles to apply for the visa, then travel back for the interview and that’s expensive .. the fact that our embassies now accept initial online applications should warn you here. They also need flight money to come to see you, someone owes them money which they could use but they won’t get it back for a few weeks and they just can’t wait that long to be with you. As soon as they get their money back they will send you what they owe you. Others just say they can’t afford it and if you are to be together then can you pay for their flight.
A great deal came up and they have paid 200,000 plus for heavy machinery/gold/precious stones/etc but they are short 20,000. When they are back home they can sell it for more than double what they are paying for it. Their bank doesn’t have a branch over there so he/she can’t get the remaining money wired to them .. can you just help him/her out and they’ll split the profits with you when they get back and sell their purchases.
Please note that in any of these scenario’s if you say you can’t afford the amount they are asking for they will simply ask for less and try to get the remaining amount elsewhere … and yet they had to ask you, a total stranger, for the money.
Any money you send needs to be sent through Western Union.
Red Flags:
1. A business person that travels frequently and goes to Africa without medical insurance .. pull the other one.
2. If they’re a victim of crime why haven’t they gone to their Embassy for help, that’s what they’re there for and they WILL help in such circumstances.
3. They are so desperate to meet you but never suggest you go to meet them when they get back to their home country, just send them money and they’ll come to you.
4. A business person that can’t get to a bank there but was allowed to wander through customs with 200,000 in cash, which they just happened to be carrying in case they fancied a bite to eat .. I don’t think so!!
5. If the words Western Union and internet dating crop up in the same sentence run a mile.
If you Don’t Send Money
If you sound even slightly hesitant about sending money or say you simply can’t afford to, they will suddenly go into fits of remorse for even asking you .. you will get a tyrade of what a dreadful person they are and they will never forgive themselves for asking .. blah blah blah.
Once they are sure you feel really guilty and sorry for them, usually coupled with you saying you really want to help them but … they will start to ask for money again. Maybe you could just lend them a small part of what they need? Do you have a car you could sell?
Documentational Proof
In order to build trust and reassure you that you are not being scammed they will email you documentation to prove they are telling the truth and how much they need.
This may take the form of:
- A hospital bill and letter from a doctor explaining they can’t release his/her passport until the bill is paid.
- A police report detailing the crime and the value of what was stolen.
- A letter from a travel agent explaining the flight has been booked and they await x number of pounds/dollars to pay for the flight or even a copy of the flight booking confirmation.
- A receipt from the business they are buying from detailing their purchase and the amount outstanding. This will often state that if the outstanding amount is not paid he/she will lose the money already paid.
Red Flags:
All of these documents are written in English, even the police report .. how convenient, that means you can read them.
I could produce any of these documents in about 10 minutes with my laptop and photoshop.
You can book a flight online and print off the booking confirmation straight away, then cancel the booking. This is such an effective tool though psychologically because you “see” the flight they are coming on, so it can’t be a con … can it?
It’s all proof of nothing other than their ability to use a computer.
Second Request for Money
If you send any money for a flight it will quickly be followed by a second request.
The most popular of these is the Basic Travel Allowance (BTA).
This is where the psychology of the scam gets you in two ways.
Firstly it gets you emotionally, you desperately want to meet this perfect love of your life or you wouldn’t have sent the flight money (usually 2-3000). They sound so utterly disappointed when they tell you they went to get their visa and the embassy/government/travel agent explained they need BTA money in cash, 800-1000 pounds or dollars, which has to be shown at the departure desk.
Secondly you may begin to smell a rat but you’ve already sent a lot of money, so your brain will be desperately trying to convince you that you haven’t just been scammed (even though in your heart you know you have).
You may decide to cut your losses and break contact but many victims of scams try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the hopes of this person really being the love they are looking for and in the hope they haven’t just become the latest victim of a dating scammer.
Red Flags:
There is no such thing as BTA. Before sending any money for visa/passport/travel requirements check the internet, look at your embassy website and establish what is actually needed and what is just an attempt to part you from your hard earned cash.
I know this all makes it sound very “any idiot could work it out” and in the cold light of day they could but these people are very good at what they do and are very convincing.
Please learn the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers so you don’t become a victim.
July 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am
I really think that anyone who is using an online dating site should be aware of definite things to watch out for that surely identify an Online Dating Scam. I know from researching on he internet that the most identifiable Online Dating Scam is from Russian Ladies who ask men for money due to some stories that these Russian ladies have created to get money out of men. These women are usually found on more that one online dating site with different names and photos of themselves as well as different email addresses.
Definitely both men and women have to be aware of being scammed when it comes to online dating. Never should you give out personal information about yourself, especially your telephone number, address, net worth or your personal email address. If you are suspicious that you may be getting scammed by someone on an online dating website, it would be in your best interest to let the online dating site in question know so they may deal with this issue.
Barry Ohman´s last blog ..Jul 3, Dating Resources. Online Dating Sites.
July 4th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
this has happened to me ….i kept believeing him when he beggedme for money and he was good…knew just how to pull at my heart strings and when i got him a ticket to the states he needed BTA money and had a wreck on the way to airport ..needed more money then went to airport and was on the plane and they pulled him off because he used past work documents to come to states..he is still swearing his love for me although i have told him i can not send more money and says its not about money ….but..if i can just help him this one more time ……and as stupid as it sounds part of me still believes him
July 5th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Hi Barry
You are so right about men being scammed by Russian women, I have a number of posts lined up about this subject.
Also great advice about contacting the internet dating website staff if you think you’re being scammed, we tend to have experience recognising these people and it is our responsibility to deal with them. If your dating site doesn’t respond to your concerns about possible scammers then it’s time to change dating websites.
July 5th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Hi Joyce
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been scammed … but please STOP IT. Yes they are so convincing that you always ask yourself “what if they are genuine” but let’s be honest you know he isn’t genuine … for a start there is no such thing as BTA, so there’s a huge lie right there, without dissecting the rest of the story.
Please don’t let yourself get pulled in any deeper, I know how much you want to believe him but it’s much better to cut your losses and find someone genuine, who will really love you.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:16 am
This is great info it is unfortunate that people will take advantage of people and the internet is an easy target for scammers it provides them anonymity.
Amber´s last blog ..Panama City Personals
August 1st, 2009 at 1:02 am
Scammed, Heart Broken & In Love with My Scammer
I met this person on true.com (let me say I did report him…but)
Joyce I totally understand where you are now in terms of feelings and emotions, because I’m there right now too. The sad part is when he told me he had a son with a nigeria woman a red flag did go up because six months earlier a friend told me someone she met online tried to scam her and was asking her to send money to him for his sick son in Africa, but I was already hooked by then. We started IM’ing each other right away, because that’s the way he wanted it. It seemed as if I was talking to a carbon copy of myself. We talked everyday for a month before he hit me with his sob story. I’m such a sap when it comes to sweet words and he was feeding them to me hot and heavy. He would write me the most heartfelt messages and emails. I even started emailing him from work because he was all I could think about. One day he called my computer from his computer and he song this song to me it was so beautiful…afterwards we talked a little more and then he had to take a call so he said….after waiting a while he comes back and states his mom is terrified, because his son had fallen sick and she has spent all the money he gave her for them while he was away working on a oil rig because he’s a Civil Engineer. As he was telling his sob story I got scared because I started thinking….crab this is a scammer, because everytime I would try to console him he would come up with an excuse…he would say “I’m doomed if any thing happens to my son”. I got offline with him and an hour later I sent him an offline and told him I thought he was a scammer and blah blah blah…well he did get upset, but we made up and a few days later I called him and he was upset about his son…I said I really don’t have the money and then he cried on the phone on me…(what was I to do he was so conviencing I ended up sending $500 to his supposely mother). We started back professing our love to one another again and emailing each other with intense love notes. His contract was up at the end of July and we would be free to come to me and send for his mom and son. Well through our courtship he would hit at me sending money to his mom, but he new how I felt about that so he wouldn’t ask me, but he always was having a headache or feeling sick because of his son’s condition. Well I blew up on him a few times about him being a scammer, but we always made up. I was falling deeper and deeper for him (I still am actually)..I started calling him my little sweet scammer. (how sick is that)…He had his supposely financial advisor send me an email with his account information and password so I could see his bank account…he stated he was rich and was just in a bad situation because he couldn’t get to his money since he was on a oil rig. So now he is supposely be in Warri Delta Nigeria living in the hotel his mom is staying at and visiting his sick son in the hospital. (They were actually living in the states before he went to the rig and sent his son to Africa to see his trifling mother…his own mother the boys grandmother went to protect the child)….Now he’s in Warri, but when he got there he was robbed of $10,000, but the robbers didn’t take his wallet with his passport and bank card and $600 dollars. His last few words to me was “if we are suppose to build a life together, you would help me with this”. My last words where “you are right, I do love you, I will try to get the $1500 so you can come to the states and get to your account to get the rest of the money to send for your family”. I have been stresse all week trying to get the money, I was going to even send my rent money to him. But today, I realized I can’t do this….I haven’t even met this man. I haven’t called him back to tell him I can’t get the money and I don’t know if I will call him. A part of me wants to help him, I’m just really torn right now, because after all I’ve read on the scam sites I’m still talking to this man and still want to help him. I’ve lost 22lbs and have stayed out from work because of stress and my blood pressure rising over this. I really want to believe that I have finally met the one, but the things he says and does makes me say this is a scam and then I think about the other things he has said to me and I fall all over again. I have been trying to find the pics he is using on the scam sites to let me know yes he’s a scammer, but I haven’t found anything. I’ve researched and researched his name, yahoo email and IM name and still nothing. He could be the person in the pics, but a scammer. I’ve just fallen so hard for this guy and having a hard taking letting go. Isn’t that pathetic…so Joyce I understand how you are feeling now.
August 6th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi N Luv w
Oh deary me you are in deep aren’t you. You clearly know the person you are speaking to is a dating scammer but you are desperately trying to convince yourself that maybe, just maybe he’ll turn out to be the knight in shining armour you’ve been dreaming of.
HE ISN’T.
He is a scammer, a liar and a thief, he is telling the same things, that make you go weak at the knees, to countless women all over the world. The only interest he has in you is how much money he can get out of you. You may have actually been speaking to different people during your time chatting to him …. I am writing a post with some examples and an interview I did with an ex scammer.
You are NOT special to him. Yes he makes you feel special, I do understand that but as soon as you hang up the phone he is ringing the next number to repeat exactly the same words and sentiments.
They always use the “if we are build to a life together” line because you will immediately try to show you want a life with him so will send money.
PLEASE tell me you didn’t send him more money?
He will not stop until you break all contact with him COMPLETELY. Any attempt to tell him what a bad person he is or giving him a chance to explain will just draw you back in. The only answer is to delete his numbers and email accounts and stick a fork in your leg every time you get lonely and want to contact him.
We can only be victims if we allow ourselves to be … please don’t let yourself be a victim.
August 6th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I had somebody calling himself Tim Jefferson met him on a dating site, said he was a widower living in Calafornia with his 10 year old son, said he was due to go on a business trip to Ghana as he was exporting a large amount of luxury cars and limo’s over there, he was telling me all the things i ever wanted to hear really got into my emotions, he asked me to remove my details from the dating site which i did, i was the first person he had spoken to and he didnt want anybody else, he got to Ghana only for one of his bags to go missing, the one with his money,documents,sons ps3 and his laptop and son clothes, who puts all that sort of stuff in especially money in your luggage, then asked me if i was sending anything over for his birthday, said i would and he gave me a p.o box number needless to say i never sent anything, once this is all sorted he said he is going to come to me in the UK for us to start a new life together how i will be his sons Mom, now it turns out that he cant unload the cars as he has to pay a new tax he didnt know about, he needs $5.500, i told him i dont have that money so he has asked if i could get half or part of it, told him i would try, not that i will but part of me wants to believe he is genuine but i know from reading all of this he isnt, when he was talking to me on MSN a message came through from him in German when i asked him what it was he said it must be a virus, my daughter in law speaks German and she translated it and he is calling somebody else Darling asking for money to get out, assured me it wasnt him who sent it!! spoke to him this morning and he is still trying to get the money but then another german message comes through and yet again he said it wasnt him , translated it reads he is trying to get the money but she is resisting sending it. I presume that is me he is talking about, still declaring undying love for me the scumbag, i have a phone number and e-mail address if anybody is interested, these people have to be stopped, or these things need to be highlighted on t.v, he wont get any money out of me, the other things was the web cam first it was broken then he also had a new one which went missing in his luggage, i asked him to go to an internet cafe and here is the strange thing, he did but said he only had 1 min now he came on and it was the person on the pic i have but i didnt hear him speak and the picture was very grainy so dont know if it was a film he put in front of cam, i will play along with him for a while longer
August 6th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Hi Annette
Am so pleased you haven’t sent him any money and yes he sounds like a classic scammer. I know you desperately want to believe he isn’t because he is under your skin (the buggers are so good at saying all the right things), so you’ll look for any reason to believe him.
The webcam image is probably not him, I will post soon about the software they use to play video’s through their webcams …. they can even look like women this way.
It really is better not to play along with him, it’s time women started telling them we are wise to them and cutting them off (I can think of parts of them I’d like to cut off). If you do keep chatting to him let’s take bets on how long it is before his son gets sick and he has to pay hospital bills!!
Please can you post any details you have for this person just so other people can check people they are chatting to and if you want to forward the photo you have I will publish it on the blog … thanks.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
By the way Annette, just google “Tim Jefferson scam or scammer” and see what comes up, popular name with scammers it seems.
August 9th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Ladies, I too have fallen for such scams not once but twice. They are not who they say the are and they will never come to you. Please get away no matter how much it hurts to do so now, it will hurt much more later.
August 13th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
my name is coolie and i have never met them in person talk online for a while he presents his self as a civil engineer christian man says he has a son name dare but says he’s from the u.kbut in nigeria doing a project he knew all the things to say met him in july in a matter of weeks getting him tosays he wants to marry me.so i told my family they are angry because who is the man i want to marry.and i don’t no him and they havenot met him.to make matters worse i send him 800 u.s dollars to some man name smart johnson was the first time now he’s tellingme he needs 800.00dollars for a bta for the embassy in nigeria sohetold me.but to make a long story short he wants me to send it today the more i tell him i have no money the more he feels the need to ask long story short i have fallen for him but once bitten twice shy hell no i met him online and that’s where i’ll leave him i met him on tagged says his name is dave leonard and he’s from the u.k.i think person like this should be exposed.i have no problem with you printing this i’m from the bahamas.
August 22nd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I recently responded to a note from Antonio who was a widowed chemical engineer from California and did not look his age of 50. He said he was Italian and had a boy of 10 years of age. Over a week’s time he sent me lovely emails and had to go to Dubai then Africa for his business. All the time he wanted me to pray for him and he was a devoted Cristian man bla blah blah…. My red flag went up. Then he said he bought me a ring with our names on it (another red flag). He wanted to send me flowers. I talked with once, but had never met him. His accent was not that of an Itallian and he was coaxing me o buy him an iphone and fedex it to him. When i told him he required a contract, he said to get him the non contract phone after all the ring he bought me was well over 5 K. The second time I talked with him I had a friend listen to the conversation and there he was insistent on me sending him a phone. When I asked him for his address in California… I had a friend research it… it was a vacant forclosed home. Yes he was too good to be true, but I was too smart and recognized the stupidity of someone who I had not even met wanting to send me expensive and rather immature things. The fact that any man is in Africa should send up red flags to anyone. My BF of 3 years (57 years ) went there and fell for the suprstardom often given by the 20 year old prostitutes that desparately want their way out of the county. He is now sitting broke in a desolate country and probably will fall victim to aids or something worse. My trust level is so far down…
August 26th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Wonderful wonderful article. This is worth spreading to save people from all these types of scams. It is interesting to note that they are targeting the very basic human emotions such as love. They have built a career out of it.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:24 am
Glad you liked the article Wasim, I do hope it will save some people from these cockroaches in human form.
September 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
hi my sister recently met a man that after a search on google of his user name, i discovered he had many different profiles on various sites but what i am trying to find out now is, if there is a way to stop these con men or someway of reporting them to the police?
this was very useful and some of the red flag info was just how this guy works! thanks, WILLOW.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:15 am
This usually happens when you go to public chatrooms or dating sites and many people are still victimized at present. The article is very informative especially about the common patterns that these online scammers do. At first, they will try to play and win your emotions and they can really be convincing. They will try to earn your trust and suddenly you will be attached and believe in whatever they say. You begin trusting them until money is no longer an issue and you will keep sending them never knowing that you are already caught in their trap.
The most important thing to remember is to become vigilant when you are trying to interact with other people online. Don’t just go with a pretty face or the flowery words that anyone would make. Ok, you may ask: what if he or she was the one that I am looking and I let it slip away? The solution to that is knowing the person first. Knowing him or her doesn’t mean that you will rely on what they say or what you see in their profile. Knowing them means you have to investigate through their public records or any reliable information on the Internet. Online resources of checking someone’s background is very accessible now and you can do it in less than half an hour.
Safety and security must be your first priority especially when you are dealing with people online. Dishonesty and different kinds of fraudulent crimes are happening in the cyberworld everyday so just be careful.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Hi Willow
Unfortunately the internet is not regulated by anyone so there is really no way to stop them at the moment, which is why it is so important to find the right dating site (ie one that is actively monitored by admin and scammers profiles removed).
Even if the person is in the same country as you, sending them money is seen as a gift/personal loan so the police really can’t do anything. The only time the police could get involved is if they offer something in return, eg sales of goods.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Hi Engel
Thanks for your informative comment, you have pointed out a very important issue .. the fear of letting Mr/Miss Right get away.
I agree with your advice, trust nobody until you meet offline. If they are scared off because you ask too many questions or check out the things they tell you then you need to consider if that person really could be Mr or Miss Right, as the right person for you should have YOUR best interests at heart and would be happy to take time building trust.
A real red flag online is when the person you are chatting to online gets angry when you question their motives or information they tell you .. this is exactly how scammers behave, assuming their anger will make you back off (which it usually does).
September 24th, 2009 at 3:36 am
I think, you will know if your chat mate is only scamming or not. Its up for you to believe on his or her alibis. You’ll get scam if you are too naive. Don’t let this scammers fool your heart and make you their milking cow. Do not be too emotional. In due time, the right man or woman for you will come unexpectedly!
September 30th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
If only it were that simple Nicole, unfortunately if you get a clever scammer and are emotionally seeking real love then it’s just not so easy to see what they are doing.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:08 am
@ Nicole, Ive been on the end of an online dating scam and I can tell you from experience that its very very hard to tell the difference. The people that make these scams get lots of kicks out of doing it and are willing to write email after email and go the extra mile to really suck you in – its horrible and I know that I had no idea that it was going on.
Ana @ Blue Topaz Rings´s last blog ..Blue Topaz Engagement Ring
October 8th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Saw this beautiful woman on gumtree. She was asking for a man. Got chatting on private emails said she was an artist in Africa (Nigeria) and had gone there from uk as she imports/exports artwork. Emails got passionate said her name was Debby Williams. Told her my personal details and circumstances, but said she’d learn more when we were face to face. Has just sent me flight details of her return at Heathrow next week and wants my mobile to text me or says she will ring from a booth uploaded her pictures onto the anti scammers sites but no matches. I think this is a dangerous scam what shall I do?
October 8th, 2009 at 12:36 am
I have asked her to chat on webcam instead as I now believe its all a fraud, but note that the flight details she emailed me state that if the booking is cancelled then there is a 200 USD penalty, if thats the case maybe she IS going to come over and try and use my information to extract something from me or worse shall I go to the police?
One question she asked me was if I was living alone.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Hi Roger
Did you pay for the flight? If she paid for the flight then perhaps she is on the up but if you paid for it then I bet you £100 she has an emergency on the day “she” (if it is a she) is meant to travel and will then need more money to pay for a new flight or hospital or whatever.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Roger, have you spoken to her on webcam or phone yet? Neither means she is even a woman, as software can now show you a woman as if it is webcam and can change a mans voice to a womans.
There is nothing you can go to the police with yet, as I assume you invited her to visit you.
Did you arrange her visa or did she get it herself? If she arranged it (without money or papers from you) then she may be genuine and you have little to worry about but if you arranged it and/or paid for it then I suggest you cancel the trip now before she/he sucks you in any deeper.
October 17th, 2009 at 6:36 am
I have been scammed as well, Peter Jason Todd, peter.todd27@yahoo.com. Says he is an engineer, was in Scotland, now in London.. I have sent him money to get back to the US. The stupid thing is, he had a business in the states send me a check for $1500, which did clear my bank, supposed to be for a website he made for this company. I even checked out the company and called them to see if the person that signed the check worked there, they did, so I figured this was the real thing!! He has the money for the airline ticket, well of course the taxi had an accident on the way to the airport. His leg was injured of course! Then because he missed his flight and his passport was “stolen”, he needs this BTA insurance. I did not send it. I know how the lady above, Joyce, I think feels. You are in so deep financially that you think what the heck, he isnt lying to me. I know exactly how everyone feels, screwed over! This is one very expensive lesson learned!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Hi Shannon
I am confused about the cheque you received. How much did you send him to get back to the States and did the cheque stay cleared? Usually they send a cheque which goes into your account and appears to be cleared but it can take over a month for the foreign bank to reject it, of course by then the victim thinks he is genuine and has sent him more money.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:08 am
Have anyone out there been conned by a scammer calling himself as GREGG COLLINS MITCH ?? His email is gregg_mitch or greg_collins ?? His story was that he lost his wife 5 years ago and now he is in Nigeria working as a civil engineer. He was robbed in Benin City OF $4000 AND ASK FOR MONEY TO BUY AIRTICKET TO FLY TO lAGOS SO HE COULD GET A PLANE TO LONDON !! hE SAID HE HAD A 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH HIM NOW IN lAGOS, AND ARE NOW KIDNAPPED BY MILITANT LEADER. THE LEADER ASKED FOR RANSOME MONEY OF US$5000 FOR THEIR RELEASE !!!can anybody share your story if there are any close similarities to my story here ???
October 25th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Hi Majory
I will bet my last pound that is certainly a scam, I have never heard such an unbelievable story, even by the worst scammers.
Almost all scammers are “civil engineers” and they are usually mugged or in an accident. They will send letters from hospital, the police and government officials … all are fake.
If he is British and he or his daughter or both were kidnapped then the government would be involved and he certainly wouldn’t be online asking virtual strangers to send money to help him.
Delete this person from your computer and DO NOT send any money, he is a scammer.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Let me tell you, if you only new how these men really looked you would be disgussed, sick to the stomach. Most of them are little boys. PLEASE RECGONIZE THE TRAITS OF A SCAMMER BEFORE YOU GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. I don’t talk to any one any more on MESSENGER. If they aren’t in my city where we can meet in the next few days than I don’t conversate with them at all. STOP GIVING PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY OR EVEN IN ANTOHER STATE YOUR MESSENGER ID….TALK TO PEOPLE IN THE SAME CITY AS YOU AND GET THERE PHONE NUMBER. WHAT’S WRONG WITH GETTIING THERE PHONE NUMBER AND SETTING UP A DAY TO MEET THEM LIKE AT A STARBUCKS OR SMOOTIE PLACE…..I REPEAT STOP GIVING PEOPLE YOUR MESSENGER ID AND START GETTING PHONE NUMBERS FROM PEOPLE IN YOUR OWN CITY AND MEET WITH THEM….IF THEY ARE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY OR STATE OR CITY THEN YOU SHOULDN’T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AT ALL. ….THIS IS THE WAY TO STOP ALL THIS SCAMMING STUFF IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST BE SMART ABOUT IT AND DATE PEOPLE IN THEIR ON FREAKING CITIES….WHY CHAT WITH SOMEONE ON YAHOO FOR DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, THAT’S HOW YOU GET SCAMMED.
WAKE UP PEOPLE…THEY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Hi Scammed Once
Thanks for your useful comments. You are right, we can only be a victim if we allow ourselves to be.
I also agree, on so many levels, with the idea of being realistic about how far away you look for dates. Most of us aren’t going to jet around the world looking for Mr/Miss Right so look for a dating website which covers your area or only your country. Also look for a site which caters for your interests, this way you are more likely to meet a like minded person.
Also Stay away from dating on messenger services, these are a scammers paradise.
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
I am ashamed to say I have also been caught by a scammer which involved me sending a lap top to Ghana. After finding this site I have managed to hold the goods at Fedex in Accra and have requested them to be returned to the uk but am still left with the hefty shipping costs. The scammer is still trying to contact me and I am hoping that whilst I still have hin on line I may be able to report it but I don’t know where to go, Can anyone help or advise me further asap !
December 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Hi Lynda
Great news that you found out in time and well done for stopping the shipment. There really is little you can do now except protect yourself from this person. The authorities over there are not particularly interested and our governments can do very little to stop it. You can google romance scam forums and list this persons email and any details you have for them, then when a new victim googles his details they have a chance of not getting caught out. Just dont accept any waffle from them, cut them out of your life totally and thank the Lord you found out before you got stung too badly.
January 1st, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Hi,
Have been chatting with someone calling themselves Philip Miller who i am convinced is a scammer. He claims to be an American soldier on a tour in Iraq. He is now supposedly become detained in ghana on his way to visit me in South Africa and needs me to send him money to pay the customs people. He has supposedly been there since December 16. I have numerous photos of ‘him’ in his uniform with his name on and in the company of other troops as well as photos of him in civilian clothes. Also have a few pictures of his daughter. All the photos have captions attached but if i ask questions about the events or others in the photos he doesnt answer or goes offline. Am definately not about to send him money or anything but am really worried that there is a real Philip Miller out there whose photos are being abused. How can i check this out?
Heidi
January 3rd, 2010 at 3:29 am
Hi Heidi
Oh dear Ghana again.
Not sure if the US army operates the same way the Brit army does but I can assure you that when you do get R&R (rest and recuperation period) from a war zone you are not allowed to jet around the world meeting girl/boyfriends. Even if you have finished your tour in the war zone you would be flown back to your country and released from there to go where you like.
Unfortunately these scams often work because of the average persons lack of knowledge of the workings of the military, hence people fall for the “they won’t pay me until I get back stateside”, I need to pay for a military satalite phone or hey yeah I’ll just jump on a plane from a war zone to visit you … sorry it just doesnt work that way.
What does he claim he was doing flying in to Ghana? It is about 3,500 miles and a 7 hour flight from Iraq to Ghana, then a further 4,500 miles and about 6 hours flying (total 13 hours and 8,000 miles) .. compare that to a direct flight Iraq to SA of just 4,600 miles and 9 hours. I could understand if he was changing flights in Egypt or Ethiopia but Ghana??!!
Not a surprise he has a lot of photo’s and very hard to check out, you will probably find that Philip Miller was a former victim of a dating scammer to whom he sent photos. If you have sent photo’s of yourself to this person then I’m afraid your photo’s will probably be used in a future scam, along with your name and nationality. This is probably why there are captions on the photos and he will not answer questions about them.
Scammers operate by taking your information and using it to earn the trust of their next victim. That victims details are then used on a future victim, etc, etc.
I’m afraid there is little you can do to protect the real Philip Miller, his details are now out there. If you are sure he is a scammer (I have little doubt he is) then please take time to google “report dating scammer” and leave his details so other potential victims searching for his name may get advanced warning.
If you are not totally sure he is a scammer please use the contact form at the top of this blog and give me as much detail as you can (contact details as well as information he has given you about him) and I will see if I can find anything out about him.
Sally
January 3rd, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Hi Sally,
Have sent as many details as i can to you on the ontact form.
Thanks,
Heidi
January 8th, 2010 at 4:00 am
I don’t understand how people can be so heartless and abuse someones trust like that just for a payday. I never knew that dating scams were so prevalent online. I’m not surprised though.
I also run a weight loss related site and I had gathered a list of over 500 different websites that were posing as fake blogs trying to get people to sign up for free trials of Acai berry and Colon Cleanser products.
Nothing really surprises me online anymore. Thanks for posting about the scammers, I’m sure you’ve saved a few people from being taken for a lot of money.
Steve
Steve@Pay Off Credit Card Debt´s last blog ..The 3 Best Reasons To Use Cash
January 10th, 2010 at 5:41 am
Hi Steve
I’ll be honest, I have looked at the Acai berry sites and was tempted to give it a try. It was only because I am so used to online scams that before I buy anything online now I google what I am looking for plus the word scam (Acai berry+scam) and read the results, has saved me a fortune over the last couple of years because I am naturally gullable.
January 23rd, 2010 at 6:43 pm
i met a guy 12 minutes away on bebo he sweet talked me after a year when i slipped up and told him i`d a policy due over 5 month he conned me out of £2,390,and i thought he was a friend he had so much bad luck deaths in his family friends his buisness went bust due to the recession he could`nt spend much time with me because of his familys bad luck stories he was probably busy with his other women he phones the odd time yet with a sob story he needs money and a great sob story i tell him no pay me back im never going to see it back,hes an ayrshire conman.
February 11th, 2010 at 3:43 am
Hi there,
I read all of the above in search of thoughts that might be related to the issue of victims’ images and personal info being used for scamming others. What made me think about it was the fact that the gentleman on the picture the scammers used to lure me in looked pretty average and decent – he did not look glamorous or even sexy at all. Just a nice average trustworthy guy. I would bet that he might have become a victim of scammers himself. Imagine, how convenient for the criminals to use images of their victims to lure others – they can take advantage of the same person twice!
I have not become a victim of the scam per se (i.e., I did not loose any cash). I guess, I grew suspicios right at the time they moved on to the stage preceding requests for money. And so I decided to research a bit more on whether contact info I was provided with legit or not. Once that issue cleared negatively, and British phone numbers turned out to be related to forwarding services that reroute calls from UK to Africa, I got and idea of whom I had been dealing with and knew what I was going to do. So when I was approached with request to lend some money, I let him have it out of both barrels.
But do you have any idea on how to identify and warn the gentleman on the picture that was sent to me for scam purposes? I feel sorry for poor guy. Not sure if it will change anything for him or not, but at least it will make him aware of what his picture is being used for, and perhaps he could take some steps to warn dating sides or something…
Thanks!
February 16th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Hi Susie
You should always be wary of anyone you meet online who has an endless run of bad luck. Unless you meet someone face to face then its better not to let yourself get emotionally involved, even as friends.
February 16th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Hi Grace
You can try using a reverse image search engine but to be honest it’s very difficult to find out where the picture originated. It could be a previous victim or it could just be pictures stolen from the internet (social networking site, blog, newspaper article, etc).
I’m really pleased you did the research before you got sucked in, well done. It does leave you feeling a little frustrated when you can’t warn innocent ‘victims’ but I’m afraid with the nature of the internet all you can do is protect No.1 and hope everyone else can take care of themselves.
February 22nd, 2010 at 7:05 pm
hi everyone hi sally this is getting so common now the magazines are full of it facebook has a page you can put details on and pictures,stuart or william or david he used different names i found out later my friends mans is friends with stuarts neighbour and a friend of mine lives in the next street so i was getting gossip he was a womaniser,hes so ordinary looking 5ft 7 or 8 fat belly specs blue eyes broken front tooth he hid his broken tooth he has so many illness`s ahh sympathy he did`nt like to tell people, he slipped up we were comeing back from glasgow he said he`d been in hairmyres hospital at christmas as in he was somewhere near glasgow at christmas he cooked me xmas dinner then his sister phoned suicidal her baby had died he had to rush to aberdeen,he was selling his flat council own it really fire dept checked his alarms council painted the entry he`d a council kitchen in he said it was great he put in lots of cupboards im thinking where his real house why did`nt i say it,then i`d to sell my house we`d buy a better house and sell both our cars he`d drop me at work and pick me up, i told him no way am i selling anything to joint with you my house is for my son last jan he proposed i said no way, i really would like to go to his house and take the things my money bought but he`s probably sold them he gave me plenty wee presents at first jewelery flowers teddys probably things his girlfriends gave him i`d get him a gift in return as im not a taker i hate to get something for nothing i guess iv never had a fella who`s genuine and nice well never really had much to do with dating guys ex was at school with me he turned into a right alky with the company he kept then the abuse started so i wasted 5 year with him till police put him out and courts banned him,all they years on my own and i met him he sucked me in im so mad at me believing him,
i give up on men now i`d pity any guy coming near me i tell them no im happy single i`d give them to hard a time stuarts put me back anyone need a chat find me in facebook forget the right name but searched on the word conned i`d love to hear from someone who knows stuart
March 1st, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Hi Susie
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and saddened that you have given up on men .. for the time being. There are plenty of good men out there looking for a nice woman to pamper but sometimes we do pick the duds.
The good news is now you are no longer trying to find a man you will probably find that a nice guy comes looking for you. Someone that is happy being single is often far more attractive than someone desperate to be in love.
Unfortunately people who have crisis after crisis are often simply looking for sympathy and attention. Of course we all have a run of bad luck sometimes but I’m sure we’ve all met someone who tells stories just to be the centre of attention and these people are best avoided.