As I said in the last article stating the top 3 reasons why men cheat, it is not only men that cheat, more and more women are also committing adultery.
This is largely driven by opportunity. As women have gained closer equality with men their work and social lives have opened new doors and presented new opportunities to meet people.
At the end of the day it’s simply not ok to cheat but that doesn’t stop people.
With adultery on the rise among women it’s important to understand what drives women to cheat on their husbands.
Of course not everyone is the same but these are the most common 3 reasons given by unfaithful women for their affair.
1. Affection and Attention
Yes, the number one reason for men and women is the same.
Like men, most cheating women don’t go out looking for an affair but when they receive affection and attention from a stranger that they no longer receive at home some women find it too flattering to resist.
It really does your self image and confidence no favours if you lose 10 kg or cut 6 inches off your hair and your partner fails to notice, you begin to feel invisible and un-cared for.
Then a strange man compliments you, he really notices you in the way your husband did before you started coming second best to his golf clubs. Once again you find your girlish giggle, you start to again feel sexy and desirable.
The sad fact is that most, if not all, of these women would never dream of cheating if they got the attention and affection they need at home.
Ask them and they will tell you, they would much prefer to receive this attention from their husband but he has emotionally withdrawn from her and is no longer excited by her, which plays havoc with her self confidence.
So guys, stop reading and go to tell your wife how sexy she looks, give her a smouldering kiss and say you’re sorry you haven’t been paying enough attention to her lately.
2. Revenge Cheating
Have you heard the saying Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Wow is it true.
Just search online for the term “revenge on cheating husband” and you will see page after page of stories about women cheating, going on naked webcams, selling porn photo’s of themselves and damaging cars, clothes, etc.
Women who catch their men cheating and follow this course of action don’t ask themselves the question does revenge cheating work, they just feel the need to get even.
Of course revenge cheating doesn’t work, two wrongs never make a right but these women feel that cheating on them belittles their sexuality, so they go all out to prove they are still sexy.
3. Thrill Seeking
Sexual freedom is still a very new phenomenon in the history of women. When I left school a man that slept around was a stud and a woman that slept around was a slut.
The playing field in recent years has levelled up considerably on this issue and women can now be bad girls without constant scorn.
Many women of my age married young, being still quite innocent and had families. They now see the sexual freedom the younger generations have and want a slice.
The problem comes when a man has been married to a woman for some time and is used to the hum-drum life they lead. Something in her life changes (a 40th birthday, a death in the family, large weight loss, a new career, etc) and the husband carries on as normal.
The life she was happy with for all those years just doesn’t excite her anymore, she wants to be a sex kitten and have fun. If you don’t notice this change and join in then someone else just might.
Here’s a more in depth look at reasons women cheat and the solutions, to help us in understanding adultery.
June 6th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
#3 is the scariest because I feel like it’s the only one that could happen without any problem on the husbands side at all. Thrill seeking is something that everyone does to a certain degree already but cheating for the thrill is very … I can’t decide if it’s dangerous or sad.
June 11th, 2009 at 2:57 am
Totally agree Barrett, it is the most scariest because the husband can do nothing wrong and suddenly the wife wants a new life. It really is the equivalent of the male midlife crisis. The only defense is to have great communications with your wife and common interests, then when something in her life changes you are in touch with it and can react with her.
June 16th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I agree that most women likely cheat because they aren’t getting attention from their husbands. It’s very easy to fall into this situation without even realizing it. I think the key is to ensure that you make time for the relationship and not take each other for granted. Of course, with our fast-paced lives, this is sometimes hard to do. I might also mention that it can work the other way and a wife can suddenly find herself dealing with a cheating husband for the same reasons.
Jamie
Jamie@cheating husband signs´s last blog ..Signs of a Cheating Husband updated Tue Mar 24 2009 8:12 pm CDT
June 30th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
As a hypnotherapist I deal with lots of relationship issues. One of the biggest problems is, they get bored with each others company. I teach them to understand what interests their partner and visa/versa.
Asking and training their subconscious mind to look outwards to what their partner wants, rather than looking inwards to themselves. This selfless rather than selfish attitude works very well under therapy and probably they way forward to think in all our lives.
Kevin
July 5th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Excellent comment thank you Kevin, we certainly seem to have become very selfish in relationships these days and naturally this disconnects us from our partner.
July 21st, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Yes I agree that most women might think about attention somewhere else because they are not getting enough attention at home. Yes also ageed that its very easy to fall into that type of rut without even relizing it and then it might be to late.
If you feel you need more attention then that’s the time to speak up and talk to your spouse about it.
On the other hand if you feel that your other half is cheating on you then that feeling alone might be enough to find out the truth.
Gregg @ The Cheatring Spy Website´s last blog ..Wireless Night Vision Security Camera
August 21st, 2009 at 2:44 am
But isn’t number 3 more like becoming board with the current life? looking for a change. I guess its part of having comunication with your partner too
October 14th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Hi
I think the number 1 reason for a wife to cheat would fore most be that she is not getting the attention from her husband.
Revenge Cheating yes I have heard of women cheating all because they want to get back at there husband sadly but its true.
Well Thrill Seeking women are out there but lets face it there husbands are most likely not doing for them so they are out for some fun with the husband it not giving it to them.
December 26th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Any woman, married, single or otherwise should feel good about her decision to take a lover. A new book,******* , empowers women to seek emotional and sexual fulfillment by making sure she does not see her sexuality is being secondary to that of a man’s.
January 3rd, 2010 at 4:58 am
Hi Ellen
I’ve removed your advert for the book but please tell me you are kidding. As you have chosen to leave your comment on an article about why women cheat then surely you are suggesting a woman be unfaithful to her husband to prove to herself her sexuality doesnt come second to his?
January 18th, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Hi Sally,
My wife cheated on me more than ten years ago. She said she felt lonely and unappreciated. Because of her affair I had decided to start a new life but then changed my mind. I wanted her back with me, and I tried hard to make things work out for us.
Today we have two children and a happy marriage,and are closer than we ever were, but the situation was difficult for a long time, and I would never want to go through that again.
Never take anything for granted in a relationship!
Ray´s last blog ..Setting Boundaries In A Marriage
January 19th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Hi Ray
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story, it’s left me with a silly grin on my face. I take my hat off to you and imagine it was very difficult to get over the affair so very well done for sticking with it.
Unfortunately us women are so driven by our emotions and we relate attention to love, so lack of attention = lack of love = lonely = need attention from elsewhere.
I lived in the Middle East for a number of years and their attitude of “leave a womans side for a moment and she will have an affair” never failed to offend me but in all honesty there is a grain of truth in it. Not that all women will tear their clothes off and run rampant in the High Street if left alone for 10 minutes but if they feel neglected over a long period of time it can be so easy for anyone paying them compliments and attention to turn their heads.
Many congratulations on your children …. proof positive that you now appreciate your wife