The 419 Scam is the No1 online dating scam, also called a Nigerian scam, but it comes in many forms and not only from Nigeria.
We have all heard about the “please cash my money order or cheque for x millions and you get 10%” letters and emails, well that is a 419 scam.
You may not fall for the big pay day scams but are you savvy enough to avoid the more subtle Nigerian scams?
419 scams are now so prevelent on the internet that a cyber sport has been developed around it, called scambaiting, which involves people tracking and communicating with scammers to frustrate their efforts.
Ways in which a Nigerian or 419 scam works on internet dating sites:
1. Registering Their Profile on a Dating Site
The first hurdle for a scammer is getting a profile registered with an online dating site.
Go to any of the big free dating sites and you will soon spot a scammers profile, it will be in bad English, have a username ending in something like 4u or 4luv and be gushing about love, marriage, having children and finding soulmates.
These are the new recruits but the experienced scammers are far more savvy.
Also they don’t only join free sites, as this scam example shows, trusted sites like Match also have their share of scammers and these will be the better ones as they are making enough money to join the paid sites.
2. Hooking a Victim
Their first message to you will usually be very complimentary, stating the many things you have in common (just about everything) and supplying their email or chat address.
They want to get you off the website and chatting privately as quickly as possible.
Love will be declared very quickly and soon talk of visiting you and marriage will begin.
They will spend building your trust until they are sure they think you are mentally planning a future together.
Often they will begin to refer to you as their husband or wife, long before you have ever even met (not that you are going to meet but the promises will keep coming).
3. Request for Money
Then it starts and can come in a million forms. The requests for money may start small but will grow with time. Here are some of the more common requests:
- Money to buy a phone card so they can call you (the exchange rate is worth the trouble).
- Enough to buy a webcam so you can see them while you talk.
- A family member is in hospital/trouble and they need to quickly borrow money. They will seem embarrassed to have to ask and make gushing assurances about paying it back.
- Flight, visa or translation fee money (all backed up with a travel agents letter setting out the costs and reasons for requiring cash not direct payment). This is so they can come to be with you .. of course at the last moment there is always a reason they can’t actually travel.
- A request to cash a living allowance cheque and send the cash by Western Union .. gosh their employers screwed up again and they can’t cash it at a local bank.
- Cash to get a works project off the ground, they have the job but can’t afford to buy/hire/transport the equipment and the profits from the job will be huge .. of course they’ll pay you back with interest.
- They have been working abroad and the company went bust/fired them/employer attacked them/etc and they need to get home to UK/US/Germany or wherever.
4. A Reason for Everthing
If you become at all suspicious they will have a reason for everything and because you want them to be genuine it will be easy to fall for their explanations.
You will also they find that if they ask for 850 pounds or dollars and you say you can only let them have 400 they will suddenly find a reason that 400 is just enough to cover or they will get the rest from someone else .. even though two days ago you were the only person in the world that could help them.
Don’t think for a moment that only the gullible fall for the Nigerian scam, we discussed this in the post about what an online dating scam is and there are many examples on the net of ordinary intelligent people falling for these dating scams.
If you think you may be chatting to a scammer and want some support then head on over to Romance Scams forum. They have a database of known scammers, their current email addresses and photos of innocent people the scammers use from the internet.
In my next post I will tell you how to investigate and find out if you are chatting on an online dating site to a 419 or Nigerian scammer.
June 4th, 2009 at 12:56 am
This is by far the biggest amount of spam that comes across my site. I’ve come up with what I think is a unique method to catch them before any user gets any messages from them but they are relentless.
June 5th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Hi Barrett, yes they are certainly a pain and just never seem to stop. We just have to stay on our toes and try to keep our members as safe as possible.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Anyone been contacted by a man named Chris Valdez? He said he has a website of a construction company in CA. He is in Poland and Dubai doing business.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
He sent me a picture of him at the Wimbleton last year. He has a home in Florida and a daughter named Maria in a boarding school in London. He is a widow. 1st request came for money because his daughters laptop was stolen and that was the only way to communicate with her. I did not send him anything. 2nd request he wanted to send me documents to cash a check and send him enough money to fly home on. He was very embarrassed. I told him I do not date men who ask women for money.
July 5th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Hi Tammy
Apologies for taking so long to get back to you, I’ve been really ill for a while.
I’m so pleased to hear you didn’t send this person money, they are obviously a scammer. It’s just a shame some of them are so convincing that people fall for their lies.
Great attitude, to be honest if I was a man I wouldn’t date a woman that asked for money either.
Sally
June 28th, 2009 at 9:34 am
This is a great article and I love the honesty.
.-= Avoid Internet Scammers´s last blog ..Online Dating today =-.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:07 am
This is shocking, I have not heard of these types of scams. Although if I had come across one of these scammers I don’t think I would have fallen for it. Too true Tammy, I would never date a man who has to ask me for money.
July 18th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
there is a free website that deals with incidents such as this. You can name and shame the people who cheat and lie on the Internet. Its all free and anonymous and is designed to help us all date more safely. I was caught out so many times by married men and men wanting money from me. Take a look at dishing the dirt and stay safe!!
July 27th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Cant believe the nerve of some of these people, trying to use such obvious scams… its insulting.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Hi Jim, I wish they were so obvious but unfortunately they play on people’s desire to be loved so the attention they offer tends to switch off the alarms in our brains.
August 13th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Has anyone been scammed by Mildred Hanson?
August 17th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Hi Kevin, if you can tell me more about Mildred (you can use the contact form to send me info) I will do some digging for you. Sally
August 26th, 2009 at 12:08 am
If you’ve ever opened an email account, chances are you have received an email promising great wealth, romance or some other benefit in return for forwarding your bank account details to the sender. These emails are known as Nigerian internet scams because they usually purport to be from a Nigerian person seeking help.
However, scammers from other countries have also taken up the trick.
I came across one from Malaysia, another one from UK and one from Philippines too I guess.
So now this thing has become very common and are being done in different ways.
.-= Anti-scam´s last blog ..Cemetery owner’s attorney denies fraud (Belleville News-Democrat) =-.
August 28th, 2009 at 6:05 am
I was contacted by Chris Valdez.
He said he has a daughter named Maria in boarding school.
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 pm
this man chatted with me as Tommy Rose, his yahoo id was snowendlesslove…….said he had a small son and was looking for a woman to love and be a mother for his son….
September 30th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Hi Anonymous
Just because someone has a child doesn’t make them a scammer, you have to put various warning signs together to help you decide whether you should be talking to this person. I looked up snowendlesslove and found his profile on a couple of sites, none of his profiles actually said anything about him (other than the basics of age, height, etc) so why on earth would anyone chat with this person? Look for profiles that tell you something about the person, then ask then questions based on that information … do the answers to your questions fit with the profile information?
October 16th, 2009 at 12:48 am
hi, I think I am involved with a scammer. Today while we were chatting he mentioned a BTA. I was curious so I googled it. All kinds of internet information came up as to a “Basic Travellers Allowance”. He said this will be attached to his 4 year work visa. He is planning to come to Canada in December. He is in Nigeria now but says he lives in Britian.
Help…
October 16th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Hi Carolyn
Sorry but there simply is no such thing as BTA. Can you use the link right at the top of my blog and send me a message, I will get back to you by my private email and we can investigate together but for now please do not agree to send any money or support a visa for this person.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Just taken in by a scammer named Jerry Matthew Davdison with a 4 y.o. Sam. He did get me for 200.00, but thank god it was only for that amount. Nothing added up and of course I should have followed my gut. He originally asked me for 1500.00. I am not a stupid woman, but he got me. jerry840@yahoo.com
October 18th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Hi Jeannette
So pleased you only sent him 200 and you recognised the red flags. You are just more proof that it is not stupid people being taken in by scammers but ordinary intelligent people.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
hi im just trying to warn against soldier scammer name sgt robert menez he starts with money for phone conection then for leave i have warned on here once but due to him contacting me again made me do more looking up on him as all i saw was this photo and realy needed to now if he was real well i caint believe a man could be so low i looked up phote through tineye and there was my soldier god bless him he got ambushed 2 years ago they found his body 1 year ago all i want to do now is make sure the man who continues to use his photo gets stopped ive kept everything is there anything i can do at all
October 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Hi Lucy
Thank you for your warning and I am sorry you got involved with a scammer, they really are lower than low.
If possible could you use my contact form (right at the top of the blog) and send me a link to the photo or just send a message and I will givbe you my email addy to send it to, then I can post it and anyone searching will see that a scammer is using this dead soldiers photo.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Sally
I am no computer whizz and not sure I am doing this right….but I need to talk with you…..I met a scammer…..and we have been online for 11 months…I am not a stupid woman….but I have been well and truly been taken in by a veteran of scammers…..I wish I found out sooner….and it was only by accident that I found out…..he told me about BTA and when I asked him what it meant….he changed the subject….so went on the net and found out about it….then I went to the various sites they directed me to…..and eventually got to http://www.romancescam.com…where found his photo….I could kick myself for being so naive and gullible….it has left me very empty and numb. I have blocked him from my computer and email and msn….and sent him a mail telling him he had been rumbled and to never ever contact me again. He has had many alias’s and I believe he has been at it for years….I wish there was a way to STOP ALL OF THEM…..and the damage they do.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I am so sorry you have been conned by a scammer Phyllis. Please let us know what name and email he used so hopefully others can avoid him.
I have emailed you with my private email so feel to reply and we can discuss your experience and where to go from here.
October 20th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
A woman I met in a dating site gave me this mobil phone 0044*********
she says she lives in bedford england .then she travelled to malaysia for charity reasons and gave me this mobil phone number 0060******** .I tried to look up for the real owner of these phones but got nothing yet. Tried to trace the IP but got nothing cause she has googlemail account. Is there any way i can find out if she is genuin or not?
October 25th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Hi Marce
I have deleted the telephone numbers in your comment because if this lady is genuine it is not fair to publish her phone numbers.
If you are also using googlemail then this is how to trace the original IP:
open her email
at the top right you will see a little down arrow next to the reply button. Press that and choose “show original”
this will open a new window with lots of gobblydegook on
do a search (Ctrl+F) for the term Received: from
there will be losts of lines with received from …. go down and find the last one at the bottom of the page
this is the ip of the originating senders computer
Also you say she is travelling for charity work, show an interest in her charity work and check it all on the internet. Get her work number in England and call, ask to speak to her (while you know she is away) and this will tell you if she really works there.
I doubt you will be able to find out if that number is registered to her but is the network she is on registered to a UK company?
October 20th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
sally could you please send me your email to my email address so i can send 2 photos of the soldier my scammer uses
October 25th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Hi Lucy I have sent my email address to you and will try to trace the photos you send me.
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Hi my name is Racheal, I met a south african man on a dating site 3 weeks ago. He said he was flying out to Nigeria on business. i got a call from a doctors early hours, asking for me, but as his wife!
I was told he had been badly beaten and mugged and is still in hospital.
This was Tuesday morning, and is still there now. I have spoken to him and the doctor, and also a friend of his that lives in germany.
I have now been asked by the friend if i could send some money to help pay his hospital bill and to help him get to the Embassy. I have phoned him ever day, as i have become attached to him, once again, he also stated he lives in scotland, and he loves me and wants to marry me!!
I am sooo confused what to do, just incase there is a slight chance.
October 25th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Racheal think about it logically. He needs YOUR help financially to get to the Embassy and pay the hospital … why can’t his work, family or friends help him? If he was sent there for work then his employers are responsible to get him medical help and any help he needs from the Embassy and if he is self employed then the chances of him travelling without good insurance is virtually a non starter.
Asking for you as his “wife” is simply designed to make you feel responsible and emotionally attached to the scammer. Your heart is so concerned turning cartwheels that someone you care about is bessotted with you that your brain doesn’t concentrate on the inconsistencies in their story.
If you call me now I can let you speak to my doctor …. of course he is my father and versed in telling such lies (obviously my father is not a liar or scammer but do you see how easy it is). You can call my friends in Egypt, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand, Cyprus and numerous other places in the world but does that mean I am genuine or just that I know people in other countries who are prepared to help me with my scam?
So he is South African, living in Scotland, with friends in Germany and working in Nigeria. Possible yes, probable, no.
These scammers will send you official looking documents from hospitals, hotels and government officials, they will play with your emotions to make you feel guilty but it is all a scam.
DO NOT send a single pound, dollar or euro please, this is a typical scam.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I heard about this other scam where “pretty girls” befriend men in wealthier countries, tell them they are visiting and need money for passport, travel etc. and never get back..
.-= Anand Srinivasan@Google Wave tricks´s last blog ..How To Insert HTML Code Inside A Google Wave =-.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Hi Anand
Yes that certainly happens, particularly in countries like Russia. I’m busy writing some articles about this subject so hopefully they will help some men avoid such women.
December 28th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Sally……I did not get your e-mail…..can you send me your address again…heading it – subject – SCAMMERS…..and I will keep an eye out for it…..i am still emotionally embroiled in all this…..emotionally….but trying very very hard to listen to my gut.
Sorry for the delay in my response….have not been here since then.
Phyllis
January 3rd, 2010 at 4:03 am
Have re-sent it Phyllis, hope you get it this time.
January 2nd, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Hi:
Now that I’ve read all these e-mail messages I guess I don’t feel so stupid and it’s beginning to hurt less. I met someone on SeniorPeopleMeet. He winked at me, we started what seemed like a “too good to be true” relationship (and it was). I was suspicious because he was in Dubai, had a Dubai number but was going to be moving back to the Woodland, WA area where his adoptive father now deceased originally lived. His birth mother died at childbirth. His screen name is SOM1TOMATCHWITH. His correspondence starts off beautifully worded, almost as if written by someone else. He fell in love with me quickly, hated liars and cheaters. Has an 11 year old son but is divorced because his ex-wife cheated on him. Has not been with another woman in 6 years since the divorce. He is a realtor in Dubai. He will tell you that a busy businessman is purchasing a property that he manages however he is stalling in finishing the purchase. He will tell you that he told the businessman that you invested in the property that he is selling so part of the commission belongs to you. At this point I stopped him to ask questions, specifically why he would involve me in a lie when we’ve only known each other for 6 weeks. We started off by e-mailing then it went on to telephone calls to and from Dubai. He asks that I not discuss our relationship with my family and friends because he wants them to see how happy he makes me. When I confronted him about the lie and that he had emphatically stated that he hated liars (and so do I), he called me selfish and that I was only thinking about myself. His grammar and diction changed dramatically. Suddenly it became apparent that the previous e-mail messages were copied and pasted and his true nature was exposed.
I need closure even though I am 99% sure this was a scam. Is there a way that I can send you his information and photo that he is using so I can be 100% sure? Thanks for your service.
IsseyB
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:46 am
Hi IsseyB
You can use the contact form and send me an email with your private email address. You can then send on this persons details and I will see if I can find out anything to give you some closure.
Sally
January 8th, 2010 at 3:39 am
You know, trying to find a date online is hard enough without these scammer a-holes trying to get money out of people like that.
The sad thing is that they must be making a decent living from it or they wouldn’t keep doing it.
Steve
.-= Steve@Pay Off Credit Card Debt´s last blog ..The 3 Best Reasons To Use Cash =-.
January 10th, 2010 at 5:39 am
That is very true Steve, if it didnt work they wouldnt bother and yes it puts so many people off online dating. The sad thing is people who start online dating never bother reading all the information before they plunge in headlong, if they did they would know what to look for.
March 6th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
As a dating coach in Canada, of course I have many clients using interent dating as a medium to meet people. This kind of information is really needed, so that while they are having fun meeting people, they don’t lose their shirts (:-)) in the process! Thanks for taking the time to explain it.
.-= Tatiana – Online Dating Vancouver´s last blog ..When it’s Time to Start Dating Again =-.
March 7th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Hi Sally, am currently in touch with a soldier who’s meant to be in Kabul but realised early that it’s a scam-asking for money to pay for custom duties re:briefcase full of dollars & gold whilst he was on patrol & a UN diplomat spirited the briefcase out of the country but now stuck in Accra. Of course, I don’t believe a word of it. Sent an email to the dating website moderator warning them about the profile but no reply from them. I do wonder if the soldier in the photo knows it’s been used for this scam. please help me trace the soldier to warn him off. thanks
May 3rd, 2010 at 3:30 pm
Hi Malyn
I’m afraid even if we traced the real soldier there is nothing he or anyone can do about it. Best thing to do is go to the scammer reporting websites and leave the details this person is using, including the current story he is telling.
Anyone that uses the internet can have their details stolen by a scammer and used for their nasty purposes and us knowing it would only make us feel bad and frustrated. The best thing for everyone involved is to make sure as many details as possible are on the web for others to find.
April 6th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Deleted at the posters request.
April 16th, 2010 at 3:44 pm
the e-mail of my scammer is chris.johnson212@yahoo.com
He is located in Long Beach, Cal., has a 6 ys. old son David and is for business in Nigeria, has only a cashier check and no cash money, cause american account is fraud…I already lost my money, payed him the flight ticket to germany, but as he asked for BTA ( 200.-€) I woke up…that he is a scammer. Now he is still calling and try to chat about yahoo and I couldnt believe what happened to me, but this website is very good to help scammed persons. Many greetings to Sally and all the best for the future to help people to wake up!!!
May 3rd, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Hi Antje
I am sorry you got caught by a scammer but pleased to hear you realised in the end. Best of luck in your search for a real man.
May 31st, 2010 at 2:20 am
ALERT: james williams, james.walter,mr james,terry harrison, harry these are all names used by scammer on yahoo and finds his victims on facebook. uses aberdeen scotland, london england, and miami fl usa for home and work, enjoys beach’s, swimming, hiking, fishing.
scams: work equipment, expences, lawyers, fines,big investments, travel, freeze on bank accts, robbed,
sz likes wine, vodka martini, all relates deceased, no close friends, biz assoc all use surname anderson.
emails with ok and i see
letters look like written by someone else
voice on phone has afro american accent
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Anyone come across a Turkish guy, 39 y o, brought up in Florida by adoptive parents, widowed, living in London, working as independent art-dealer? With me, went by the name of Fredrick Brown
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Sent first message without finishing! Usual undying love after couple of emails, haven’t met, he had to go to Egypt and then Nigeria (always Nigeria, eh?!!) – sudden phone call from Doctor saying Fred had been in an accident, had regained consciousness, and desperately wanted me to know. Emails built up the “sting” bit by bit (I could see it coming but just wanted to see how it would go) – before the “accident” he had started an “ive visited an orphange and the conditions are terrible; i want all my friends to help them” scam (I didn’t bite) so the “accident” happened after the “orphanage” was kicked into touch – little boy badly hurt, lots of damage, police demanding payment, boy needs bonegrafts so “he can walk again” payments, “family suing Fred for compensation” payments etc etc all crafted email by email to the inevitable “I really need you to help me (with the £4,500 of the £12,ooo he can’t raise) because of our love and our relationship”!! Honestly – im a criminal psychologist, does he really think im so desperate for love and so stupid? I recognised it was going to probably be a scam from email 2 onwards but wnated to see how he was going to engineer it. My advice is to note what doesn’t add up properly, question these, ignore little hints and deny obvious ploys, and if it still comes to “I need your help with money” chalk it up to experience and above all let other omnliners know
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Hi Rose
Thanks for your comments. So pleased you didn’t fall for it but without your experience so many do I’m afraid. As you say, if one story doesn’t work on you they just move on to the next, they have no shame or they wouldn’t be scammers.
Agree completely, the first time they need help woth money delete their details and get on with life.
July 5th, 2010 at 12:02 am
Hi. 2 years ago, I was needing out of s marraige and tried yahoo personals. I found this cute guy and began talking. His name was davidjuballawyer@yahoo.com. He was from Cal. and when he finally called, he was in Nigeria, selling cars. He loved me soooo much and wanted to send me a $5000 check and cash it and send $1500 back to him. I was leaving AZ, and upon arrival, my bro-in-law asked how my main squeeze was. As I told him, he asked me to look for this guys pic on this particular model site; sure enough, there he was.
BUT, I believe God was already confirming it; On the bus ride from AZ to Pa, I met a black teacher who “loved” yahoo personals and couldn’t to chat after school. She knew exactly who I was talking about; details! Then she blew me away saying,she had been to his house in Cal.. I asked him repeatedly if he was black,b/c he had a Jamaican accent. “Noooo…I’m white” She said, “Oh no, honey, he’s black as the ace of spades. But seeing him pic on the model site did me in. My bro-in-law was very savvy. He said, “Get him on the IM, and tell him the feds are here. They’ve been reading all your emails and IM’s. They’re interrogating us all!” I did. He came back on twice and nada after that. He was scared! The fed part wasn’t true, but the rest was. Whether the teacher was an angel, I don’t know, but I know God was protecting me! Who would have thought I’d meet someone who KNEW this guy and been to his house, and I”d meet her on a bus 3 days away from destiny. I’m glad for protection; no matter where iit comes from. I was ready to JUMP, and so would my twin sister- to cash it. Thank God for him and you guys-this is great!
July 19th, 2010 at 2:52 am
Hi,
I have been talking to a man from Nigeria for about 5 months. He says he loves me and wants to be with me. He has asked for money and I foolishly sent it to him so he could complete the money for his ticket. Now he says they won’t let him on the plane until he has Sufficient travelers funds…is this the same thing as the BTA? He is asking for $300. I tried to end it but he keeps calling my home and trying to reach me on Yahoo and Fb even though I blocked him…he set up another Fb account switching his first and middle names. I am starting to get worried that I will never get out of this. Any advice would be much appreciated.
July 19th, 2010 at 5:58 am
Hi Stephanie
Yes Travelers Funds are the same as BTA.
He is using a typical scam and if you sent money for BTA then he would have an accident or be mugged on the way to the airport and need money to pay the hospital or replace his ticket and passport. This would go on for as long as you are prepared to send money.
Please send him a message simply saying you are aware he is a scammer, you have kept records of every conversation and email between you and if he attempts to contact you again you will report him to the FBI or Scotland Yard or wherever is relevent to your home country. Say nothing more than this.
Set up a new Yahoo account and only give the username to people you trust. On FB simply don’t accept any new friends, for a while, until he gets bored of trying. Don’t answer any phone calls from him, if he calls your home and you hear his voice just hang up.
It can take a few weeks before they get bored and move on to their next potential victim, particularly in your case as they have put so much time into “grooming” you, but they will give up when they see no reaction at all from you.
Remember all he needs is you to try to express your anger on the phone or by email/chat and he will see it as an opportunity to convince you of how sincere he is … it’s all lies and they are VERY good at telling you what you want to hear.
Thank God you only lost £300, learn a lesson about how these people operate and move on to find a real man who will give you the love you deserve.
July 20th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Hi Sally,
Thank you for the advice. I have done all of it but he is not stopping as you said would happen. What is different about this is that we did not meet on a dating site…I have never been on one. He randomly requested me on Face Book. That is how we started talking. He recently took down his Fb page and made a new one switching his first and middle names…he goes by Anthony Smith Omini. When I went to his new site I couldn’t believe in his bio he wrote that I was the love of his life and actually wrote my first and last name on there. It really kind of scared me.
Also at one point he begged me to come there. He said I would need about three thousand dollars though. What would have happened if I did go? The thought terrifies me!
He has also been leaving messages…of course he is mad that I didn’t send him the money and I am the one stopping us from being together but he says he will find the money and call me from the airport to pick him up. Then I will see he has never lied to me…
Is this kind of behavior in line with what others have experienced? I am so nervous…please assure me he really won’t show up…it is manipulation…right?
Thanks so much!
Stephanie
July 20th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Hi Stephanie
It’s only been 24 hours, just keep ignoring him and he’ll get bored. You’re sounding rather worried so I am writing directly to your email address and we will work this out ok.
July 25th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
all this is sounding familiar to me too. money to buy a present for his sons birthday, money to replace a stolen phone, then he not have enough money for flights. needs me to send money, etc,etc. fortunately i have only sent £120. it was FCO who made me aware. i will start ignoring the man who is pestering me now.
July 25th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
Hi Teresa
Did you find something on the FCO website about BTA? I have looked on the Home Office site and found nothing about his problem, which is disgraceful really.
October 21st, 2010 at 4:25 pm
I have a friend who is involved in one of these things for a few months, down to the last detail it follows the scam and shee just won’t see it. The night before he was to “fly” to meet her he was shot in a bar!!! OMG, Now I’m waiting for him to ask for to send money for the hospital bill. How can someone fall for this crap! She still believes he is the love of her life!
October 22nd, 2010 at 11:40 am
Hi Anonymous
I’m afraid people fall for scammers all the time, it’s not about reality but about the dream they mentally weave.
Of course it’s a scam and of course he will ask for money. If she sounds doubtful about sending money for his hospital bills then he will send faked letters from doctors and even sometimes letters from the government demanding the money.
All I can suggest is you write out every possible step he will make (taken from everything you can read about how scammers operate) and read it to her BEFORE the next step occurs. Either she will have to eventually accept you have become clairvoyant or the scam is foloowing the usual patterns.
You could aslso say to her that if she thinks he is genuine then there is no harm checking him out … if she agree’s get in touch via the ask a dating question link at the top of this blog and I’ll arrange for you to send all his known details and see what I can dig up.
October 29th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I must say i wish spammers peruse this content and verify how effortless it is to be human and value information.
November 20th, 2010 at 11:44 pm
I met “frank” at match.com. It follows every single thing I have read on scammers. I did not want to believe I had been a victim. He had me pretty deep and fortunately I only sent him $150 so he could send me his “paycheck”. He even went so far as to create a check that looked very real and sent a picture to me. But the check did not look quite right. The routing number was only 8 digits and on a real check they are always 9. All of the pictures looked real as well, down to a “son” that really looked like him. Or at least of the man he was trying to portray. It has taken awhile, but I now see him for what he really is.
December 5th, 2010 at 2:49 pm
This guy called Tom contacted me about 10 days ago. I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love with this bloke who obviously doesn’t even exist. I have been taken in so much him and wanted so much for it all to be true. I lost my partner about 10 months ago now so I hate to admit but are still very vulnerable. At first I was taken in although things did not seam quite right. He was a solider, mother Welsh and father American with a son Mike at a military academy in the states. His wife was killed in car accident 12 months ago. He was working for the American Military based in Iraq, in a camp outside Baghdad. Writing all this down its sounds ridiculous but I was taken in. He got me off the dating web site to the Yahoo chat line and then proceeded to get me to tell him everything about myself I sent photos of my flat, the town in Devon I live. I fell in love, the hours I spent chatting you would not believe. I forgot to eat never cleaned my flat my whole life revolved around the chat line.
There were odd things which did not seam right, he called his room on the base home which I don’t think army personal would do. Got eh time difference wrong, he said it was 4 in actual fact it is 3. If I asked how hot it was he would say 75% not 75 degrees.
Then this week another son popped up from a previous relationship who was in Africa (Nigeria) at university he was put on line for me to chat to. He was 20 and was calling me mummy which made me feel slightly sick.
Tom wanted to come and see me he could get a pass but it cost £100 in cash all his money was paid into account in the UK which he did not have access to. Because he was in a war zone all his money was paid into this account there was 950K in this account for us to start a new life.
Anyway eventually he persuaded me to send £100 by Money Gram to his friends wife in Wales. I actually went to the Post office and mailed this but have now cancelled it and got my money back.
He keeps contacting me still declaring love and have I send the money. I suppose he picked on the wrong person because I actually have nothing. I had to borrow this money.
I cant go on it sounds so ridiculous I was taken in but I was.
His name was Samuel Thomas Anderson
The woman in Wales I had to send the money to was Sian Jenkins
Mid Glamorgan CF34 9UD
I only hope that this helps anyone else taken in by this person.
December 7th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Hi Alison
Wow what a well paid soldier, £950,000 in the bank and he can’t get hold of £100 … it is laughable but no surprise you fell for it.
You are far from alone Alison, their scams are designed to get you off the website and onto chat as quickly as possible. They then start calling you their wife and mother to their children to get you to feel part of their life and responsible for them.
Don’t beat yourself up about it, anyone can fall for a scammer I’m afraid.
So sorry about the loss of your partner and of course it has left you vulnerable and wanting someone back in your life. All you can do now is fight back … please go to the police and ask to be put in touch with the fraud squad and pass on this woman’s details. If you can stop this happening to just one more person you will have done the world a service.
To anyone reading this … soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan can withdraw cash in the same way you or I can go to a cash machine and withdraw cash. They DO NOT need to pay to connect a phone line or email or arrange leave (holiday). Do not fall for it, it’s a scam!!! Also please learn, DO NOT move from the website onto chat until you can be really sure you are not being scammed.
December 15th, 2010 at 1:09 am
Well i have meet a girl it started out askedme to send money to get her grandmother a present so i sent 50usd then she wants to come to the us from uk and needs help with ticket so i end up sending 400 usd now the day she is to comes comes up with needs 1500 for bta i comfront her and she said its the aent that wants the money she is a scammer right?
December 22nd, 2010 at 9:36 pm
yes she is a scammer Herbie, sorry.
January 9th, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Hi. This is Elgin with a question. I have been corresponding with a girl from Russia who said she wants to come and visit me. She said she had gotten her visa and airline ticket but was told at the airport that to go through customs, our country (U.S.) requires that she have on her $20 for every day she wants to stay here. She was planning to stay her for 30 days so said she needs $600. I met her on Yahoo. This sounds so much like a scam to me. It sounds like BTA which I know is a scam. Any thoughts. I need to know quickly because she wants to come this week.
January 10th, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Hi Elgin
Here’s a rule for you …. scammers ask for money.
How did she get a visa to the US? It is impossible for a Russian woman to get a tourist visa to the US, unless you have visited her in Russia, become engaged and apply for a fiance visa.
If a set amount of money is required by the country you are visiting this is explained to you during the visa process, as it is the country you are visiting who set the requirements.
This should answer your question.
January 20th, 2011 at 4:40 am
My nigerian scammer was always asking me for money , the first time it was that him and his family did not have any food , and he asked me to send him one hundred dollars, and I sent it because I am awoman of God and I beleive in feeding God’s people. The next time that he asked me for money, he told me that his mother lived about 15 miles from him . And that she was behind on her rent and her landlord was threatning to put her out. If she didnot have three thousand dollars . And he didnot have it because he had not been paid in four months.So he asked me to send the money to him immediately. I told him that I didnot have it.I was very surprised at the way that he received my answer.About a week after that he asked me to send some money to help him buy sugar and coffee and milk , to give to his daughter because she was in boarding school. I did send him some money. I begin to noticed that every time I would talk to him he was asking me for money and I would send it to him.One day he asked me to send him a thousand dollars to obtain an american visa. I immediatly told him that he as lieing because , there was not a visa that even caused that much money.And then I told him that I had traveled to nigeria and all that I paid for my visa was $145.00. but he as still very persistent but I told him no.About a week later he called me and he told me that he had taken a loan out from the bank. And he had put up his car for collaterel, and that he had taken the loan out for two thousand dollars. He than asked me if I could send him five hundred to help pay for his ticket because he is coming to see me. I sent him some money but it was not five hundred. I n which he was very upset, then he told me that he needed one thousand and five hundred dollars to put in the bank , Because he had to show them that he had that money in his bank accont , and it had to be that amount of money or else he could not travel.He told me that he had to sell some of his belongings in order to travel.He left nigeria in the summer and is not here yet.I really fell sorry for him because he is such a habitual liar and I did lose some money. but I am still standing.
February 21st, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Hello!I know that there as been a lot of 419 scam coming from my country but not all Nigerians are con men.Also not everybody who goes to a dating site is thinking of defrauding his victim.I definitely don’t do such and I have a lady in the United States and we have maintained contact with each other for 2 years.Tell me if I wanted to scam her will I wait 2 years to do that. I also mailed her dresses and cards.The government in Nigeria have not been fair to its people.So many people are wallowing in poverty.However this is not an excuse to cheat an innocent person.
Secondly, there is a culture of corruption and materialism in my country.Collin Powell said it in Time magazine and he was right.People in power show off wealth and the youths try to copy what the see by living the good life.They think only way they can do that is by defrauding innocent people of their hard earned money.This I believe is wrong.I don’t need to cheat anybody because I have my own job and I am content with it.
February 22nd, 2011 at 5:14 am
Hi Seggy
I am fully aware that there are plenty of good people in Nigeria, my own husband is from the African continent. It is a shame that Nigeria is so often the origin of such scams but I’m afraid the fact is that many of these scammers are in Nigeria and it is my duty to warn people about how the scammers operate so they do not lose their hard earned money.
I completely agree that corruption and materialism are the root cause of this bad behaviour and it was when I was living in my husbands country that I met scammers and learned how they work. It is sad that good people in your country are often automatically thought of as scammers but I’m afraid there is a reason for this and your country needs to get on top of this problem before the bad reputation will be replaced.
February 21st, 2011 at 11:08 pm
I think the government of the U.S and other European countries should do more by preventing public office holders in developing countries from looting the wealth of their people and stashing it in foreign bank accounts.Yes I have read about so many cases where tax evasion is committed by multinationals in connivance with public office holders in Africa.If the wealth of a country is well spread criminals won’t flourish.The genesis of this 419 thing is a leadership and cultural problem in Nigeria.Check the president or minister looting billions of dollars and you will see that the petty criminal will have a change of heart.
February 22nd, 2011 at 5:35 am
Hi Seggy
Corruption is indeed a major factor in African countries and I agree Western countries should not allow leaders to hide their stolen money. The problem is if Western governments say African leaders can’t send money abroad they will send it in someone elses name or buy properties. Corruption is not so easily dealt with I’m afraid.
February 22nd, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Hi Sally, I agree with you on what you said but the truth is the west as a great role to play in making these governments accountable.African leaders loot billions of dollars and leave their people impoverished.
Apart from that some people who fall into the traps these con men are equally greedy.I get mails too from scammers and they tell me I have just won a million dollars and to claim my money I need send to them ten thousand dollars.I don’t listen to these people because I know that the individual is just hungry.I work and I know that a million dollars is not easy to see especially from someone you have not met physically.
However there are good guys with genuine intention out there and so we mustn’t let these criminals make us apprehensive.People do fall in love and do genuine business in cyberspace!
February 23rd, 2011 at 10:27 am
Hi Seggy
I totally agree with you about western governments, my husband is from Egypt so I know all about looted billions and impoverished people. I also understand their moral attitude is different to ours in the west, it’s easy to take the moral high ground when you are well fed and a regular salary.
Of course there are genuine guys in Nigeria with genuine intentions but the problem is educating people to find out which are genuine and which are just looking to get money from good hearted women in the west.
Perhaps you can help us with this and think of ways women can test Nigerian men to see if they are genuine? The obvious answer is if they ask for money they are not genuine but very often by then it is too late and the women are emotionally attached to the man so they believe their stories.
One way you could certainly help us is to contact your government and ask if Basic Travel Allowance is real or not. I know it is not real but if we had a letter from your government confirming this then it would help people to realise it is a lie to get money from them.
February 22nd, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Hi Stephanie! If a man truly loves you he won’t ask you to send him money.I read about this things all the time.
February 23rd, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Hi Sally!
I totally agree with you and if you know anybody who wants to verify anything in my country , I will certainly help.I am an attorney and I really think of the new generation of Nigerians.The truth is a bad precedent has already been set.Guys like myself have to do everything we can to create a good image.I hope one day the wounds of those who have been swindled will heal and they won’t vent their annoyance on guys like myself.
February 24th, 2011 at 11:50 am
Hi Seggy
That is a very kind offer, thank you. It is always a minority that makes life difficult for the majority and I really hope your country will find a way to limit the damage such people do and your country can get it’s good reputation back.
The good news is there are guys like you in Nigeria who are willing to try to protect your country. I think Nigerians should campaign to make Western Union really check people’s identities when they collect money, if scammers had to provide their real identities I imagine these frauds would decrease overnight.
February 26th, 2011 at 12:50 pm
hi
February 26th, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Hi Jay
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Hi Sally!We live in a very imperfect world you know that human beings don’t have equal opportunities and that is what leads to crime.Even a wretch wants to survive.However I think people should be very careful and they should not fall for deals too good to be true.
Hello Jay!
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Hi Seggy
I agree it is an imperfect world and I thank God I have never gone to bed with an empty stomach because I couldn’t afford food. The problem with love scams is it’s not a deal too good to be true, it’s not someone offering you 40 million if you just send then 5000 …. but it’s people pretending to be someone else in order to make someone fall in love with them and send them money, it is very cruel and you can’t walk down the street in the West picking money up off the floor as many people in poor countries think we can.
March 30th, 2011 at 10:58 am
This was his (Alex Smith) text msg to me “Honey i just finished having the meeting with the Malaysia Government,Thank God the contract has been awarded to me. They asked me to pay $23,650 US dollars for the contract agreement,tax and sub-charge before they can award the certificate and first cheque to start the project. I have made a withdraw of $13,150 US dollars from my both Visa and Master card, i just called my Mun to help me with the balance so i can pay them now and get the certificate and cheque from the government but my Mum don’t have that much money. I have called some of my friends to help me and they are looking around for me now. Hope they can get the balance for me before night.Pls pray for me honey as this contract means so much to me.” I am afraid that he is also using my pictures and informations about me to lure other innocent people. Still I am glad that I have help a friend uncovering that her so called “boyfriend” is a scam too, i found his picture on this site too! Thank you so much! I would like to add this Alex Smith to your list of scammers.
March 30th, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Thanks for letting us know about him Sassy. Definately a scammers email, the usual broken English and rubbish about having to pay sub-charges and tax. Definately a build up to asking you for money … so well done for not falling for it.
April 19th, 2011 at 11:55 am
African scammer all day every day his grammer is horrible and he is begging for money on the downlow he wishes he had half of the money he is begging you for there is no contract it is alot of crap.
March 3rd, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Becareful of a man named Roland White. His profile is in broken English, he states he is from Caldwell, NJ. I know people there and no one has heard of him. In all the profiles I found online for him he is a different age between 45-49. He is working in Malyasisa as a medical assistant. He tells you he went to school at a Medical school for Doctors to be an assistant. Then as you get to talking to him, he has a degree in nursing. He is very angry when you tell him things do not add up.
March 4th, 2011 at 8:16 pm
People should be very careful and they shouldn’t fall for deals too good to be true!
March 30th, 2011 at 10:18 am
Hi Sally,
I am so glad to have found this site. I also was a recent victim of a scammer. His name was Alex Smith and using alex_smith1210@yahoo.co.uk as his email address. Although he is not asking money yet, I know our conversation is going that way. I wanted to help other women out there to be careful with this guy. I have his pictures (fake) and emails which I can send to you as proof. What is your email add?
March 30th, 2011 at 11:02 pm
Hi anonymous
If you use the “Ask a dating question” link at the very top of this blog and send a quick email I will reply from my personal emaill address (I don’t publish it as I don’t want the abuse from scammers, since I’m trying hard to ruin their income source).
April 2nd, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Has anyone heard of a Rihanna Kelvin? This one if it is a female, claims to be from Austin, Texas. But living in Nigeria. The story sounds all too familiar with what is being discussed. I tried looking up her pictures at http://www.tineye.com to see if they have been used by someone for ulterior purposes but nothing came back. Its rihannakelvin@yahoo.com if this is fake, let me know.
April 2nd, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Hi caguy
She(?)s a scammer. She was reported, with that email address here
http://www.delphifaq.com/faq/russian_marriage_scams/f2266.shtml?p=2
Just scroll down until you get to her pic (actually a porn star/model pic) and you will see the email address above the pic.
Her myspace page also shows she is a scammer. Her only friend is Tom Anderson … second woman(?) I have found with stolen model pics and only friends with Tom Anderson.
http://www.myspace.com/502005470/friends
and if that’s not enough just look at her my space page …. if she is American then I’m a 10 legged horse!!
About me:
I’m a gentle and humble woman that respect his man.