Many online daters feel they are too smart to get caught out by a dating scammer, they believe they can easily spot a bogus dating profile or photo.
It’s time to think again.
We have answered the question “what is an online dating scammer” and looked at the No 1 internet dating scam, the 419 scam.
But as online daters have become smarter at recognising scammers, scammers have been evolving at the same pace.
While beginners still use the old basic tricks, the more advanced scammers are a lot more subtle.
One question to ask yourself is “does the online dating profile photo look too good to be true?”
If it does then it probably is, they simply steal them from modelling agency websites.
However, the better scammers are now wise to this .. here’s an illustration:
I bet you thought they were going to be of women!! Scammers will try anything to get cash out of both men and women.
Clearly the picture at the top is of a male model and has been stolen from a model agency website.
So not only are you being scammed but the poor model is having his work stolen and used for illegal purposes.
The picture at the bottom is clearly not of a male model. This poor man obviously put his holiday photos on something like facebook or flickr and is now being touted round the internet by a dating scammer.
The ip address for two profiles with the above pictures displayed both originate in Nigeria.
Here’s one for the men .. just so you don’t feel left out.
This is Karla Spice, an adult film star. There is a great deal more to this photo but I shall leave you to find it for yourself.
Scammers will use photo’s like this so your large brain switches off and your small brain takes over.
Her portfolio of photo’s has been on online dating profiles all over the world and men are still falling for it.
Another way for scammers to get hold of photo’s to use on dating profiles is to capture images from daters they are chatting to online. If you are chatting to a scammer using webcam they simply take a still picture of you while you are online.
In 5 tips to spot a Nigerian dating scammer I told you how to trace a photo back to it’s online origin using a reverse image search engine.
If you start communicating with someone on an online dating site then always check their photo through a reverse image search engine or database.
As the photo’s of men above shows, it’s not only the too good to be true pictures that scammers use on online dating profiles.
May 21st, 2009 at 6:13 am
Wow, these Nigerian scammers are everywhere. Great tip about TinEye. Many people can use that including people who have uploaded their original and copyrighted photography.
These information you have provided is sure to help a lot of people especially with online dating becoming more and more popular.
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
Great tip about TinEye. Many people can use that including people who have uploaded their original and copyrighted photography.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:15 am
Wow great tip on the reverse image search engine! It works!
June 5th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Well it should certainly help you in your work Leon.
June 7th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
I was approached by a young lady who lives in Nigeria on the Yahoo Personals and I have sent her 2800.00 to bring her here.She told me that she needed to get a doctors appointment that cost 1000.00 and the tickets were 2000.00 and when I sent her that money for the tickets she wrote me back saying that she needed anpther 2000.00 for BTA.I have been able to find out id that is true or not.Could you please tell me if this is the case or not?Thank You……Mike
June 11th, 2009 at 2:47 am
Hi Mike
I’m sorry to say they are a scammer and you’ve been conned. DO NOT send another pound/dollar/yen to her/him.
There is no such thing as BTA any more, all countries did away with this a long time ago (about 4 decades ago) but scammers still use it to con money out of people. Also the cost of the doctors appointment is just a silly figure in Nigeria, unless it’s for full body plastic surgery.
I’m afraid it is very doubtful that you will ever see your money again but please cease all contact with this person immediately.
Yahoo personals is absolutely the worst place to meet someone simply because that’s where a vast majority of scammers hang out.
June 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Scammers are innovating day by day and it is our responsibility to keep up with the latest updates and beware! Sorry for Mike who lost his good money!
June 28th, 2009 at 1:48 am
I was scammed by a male scammar, came off like he was coming from the USA, on a business deal, and they would not take his money order in Nigeria, he claim he was in cruel oil, which meant he was very rich. He ask for money for living expenses, airfare, hospital, and taxes. I talked with him for 5 months before I realize he was a scammer. I know this sound foolish now, but at the time it seem so real. He knew everything about USA, knew all the news, latest music, and anything else that would red flag that he wasn’t from America. However, all the information he gave did not pan out. The address did not exist, he gave a popular name therefore you could not google him. Everything he said was nothing but lies. We waited at the airport for him for hours and he did not show up. Later I receive an email saying he was in an accident, and he needed $1,600, for a blood transfusion. The letter from the doctor was very unprofessional not using any of the professional language that a doctor would use. (IV, was called a drip)He could not tell me what was the condition, only he hit his head. He sent a picture of car crash, but forgot to change the date on picture, which was two years ago. After all this he kept on lying and trying to get money. It was like a timeshare presentation. They were not finished with me, he sent an official saying he was the FBI, and they wanted to catch him and put him in jail I just needed to give them personal information, and pay a small fee. I believe this guy was either him or someone working with him to see what I would say and what I would tell. I have become so discourage regarding online, almost every person I have met has been a scammar.
July 5th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Hi Betty
It doesn’t sound foolish that you were the victim of a scammer, if they weren’t so convincing then almost nobody would fall for it. This is what they do for a living so they become very good at it.
OMG paying the FBI a small fee …. ok I’ve heard it all now. Honestly they will stop at nothing.
Betty when you join a dating site make yourself a new rule …. you won’t chat with anyone who doesn’t chat on the forum or chatrooms in a group. Scammers will rarely join in with a group, quite the opposite they try to get you off the site as quickly as possible. Also write out 100 times …. anyone that asks for money online is a scammer!!
August 30th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Hi Girls & Guys,
I had my head screwed on right…for once!!! I met this so called Orthopaedic surgeon who worked in London, widowed, had 1 one son on Match.com. We MSN’d every day and night…he fell in love with within days…gave it all the chat..and yeah I fell for him too. Very handsome, surgeon, my dream man! I did google the name, and it came up with an much older very smart english man. I queried this with him, and he said that was the Head of Surgeons picture. He had to go to Nigeria for a bestfriends funeral, very sad, took his son with him. After loads of cyber chat..he lost his wallet with ALL his money in. He claimed he has no close friends and couldn’t ask his Mom as she was very ill. Had no brothers of sisters. He wanted $2,500 to pay for his hotel, he said they are holding his passport. I said about his credit card companies, and he said they dont delivery to third world countries!! All they accept is cash. He was even saying, my son hasnt eaten all day, please send me what you can! But I knew from the picture something wasnt ringing true, so I was on my guard, and when he mentioned his wallet going missing, my heart sank..it was ALL lies and a complete scam. I did not help him, thank god. He said he has to sell his lap top so he would not be able to communicate with me anymore..hooray!!!
Please be careful, they pray on single vunerable people. I have totally lost my faith in men now.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 am
Hi Saraj
So pleased to hear you didn’t get scammed and very sorry to hear you have lost your faith in men.
Please remember that scammers are both male and female, men get caught out just as much as women. There are some lovely guys on internet dating sites you just have to keep your wits about you and not let yourself get too involved too quickly.
The golden rule is don’t let yourself feel “love” for someone you have never met and if they ever ask you for one pound/cent/yen then run away and find someone real.
Think of meeting someone on a dating site as a test period, let’s be honest they may be genuine and seem perfect for you but when you meet there is no chemistry … so you should never get involved before you actually meet.
September 19th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
I feel like I am in the middle of a “scam” !
I am skeptical about most guys to begin with… but of course theres always that tiny bit of hope! we dont want to lose hope! I have been talking to this one guy who says he is in West Africa! coming back to the US in 2 weeks. has a 16 yr old son. wife died of cancer.. misses me. age and distance isnt important. will live where ever his new love lives. I know .. it’s a scam!!! darn it! 
I had already been thinking about it being a scam.. he hasnt yet asked me for anything… and I certainly would have laughed n his face had he done that.. I am furious with anyone who will do this to other people .. but its been going on for hundreds of years .. this is just the newest way to do it! so… my next message to him will be full of questions etc. Is there a good list anywhere with names addresses pics etc. so we can see?
.-= Christine@yourkeywords´s last blog ..In Case You’re Building a Social Media Team… =-.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Hi Christine
Sorry to hear you have been contacted by a scammer but at least you know it is a scam. The “hope” is the thing which allows perfectly sensible people to be caught up in the scammers net.
Here are some ways you can do some digging yourself .. http://www.country-couples.co.uk/datingtips/5-tips-to-spot-a-nigerian-dating-scammer/
You can also pop “dating scam database” into your search engine and there are lots of sites which you can check out photos, email addresses, names, etc.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Angelika Lancsak Matchmaking is a scam
Asking an untraceable paypal membership fee of EUR3000! or even funnier: a donation !
September 30th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Hi A Big World
I went to have a look at the site and enjoyed giggling at the donation button for an expensive service. It’s also strange that the address is in London but the telephone number is in Austria …. perhaps one to avoid.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
When you prefer to have an online dating I must say it’s not good to hear..
.-= mary@ nursing degrees´s last blog ..Finding The Best Paying Nursing Jobs =-.
October 18th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
You have to be so aware of dating online, so I have experienced. Some great advice on here – be aware guys.
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
I would like to know if their is a (BTA) in the UK………london to be exact………….I am being told that it is 1500 pounds and that is what she needs to take the final step to get her here????????????????
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Hi John
No there is no such thing as BTA for the UK. I assume you are her sponsor? If so you have to show documents showing you are able to financially support her on her trip to England but you do this during the visa application process. Basically they won’t give her a visa if they don’t think her trip can be sufficiently funded …. again, there is no such thing as BTA.
BTA used to be used in poorer countries to control the amount of currency taken out of that country … it was an allowance like a cigarette or alcohol allowance (hence it’s name Basic Travel Allowance) but countries stopped using it about 40 years ago.
What country is this woman coming from? If you want any further help you can use the contact button at the top of the blog and we can delve a bit further and see if your young lady is genuine.
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
please if you have send money to this person before stop ok it is a scammer saying he is from uk.. lie lie lie…
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Sally, you can’t just let someone put someone’s email address here what if this person is not a scammer.. because someone tell you the person is a scammer did she tell you if the person collected her money..
November 23rd, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Hi Mall
I did check out the email address provided before allowing the comment, as it was listed as a scammers email address. However I have removed the comments as the person reporting it didn’t come back with any further details to back up the claim.
February 23rd, 2010 at 3:54 pm
I was scammed, emotionally at least, recently. I met this guy Michael on okcupid. He said his name was Michael Scofield and I didn’t catch on that that is the lead character’s name from Prison Break. He said he owned a construction company, had no family but a young daughter and while he had a satellite office here in Phoenix, his company was based in London. Like an idiot I fell for him…or at least the pictures…my dream guy…then he asked me for money to finish a construction job in Nigeria saying that since we were so in love and going to be married some day that his business was mine and vice versa. I responded and said I would be happy to but I wanted the name of his company, a local address and phone number and his social security #. I said that if he wanted me to trust him to send money then he should be able to trust me w/ his social. He sent the name of the company, Monarch, but nothing else and eventually turned everything back on me saying I broke his heart. The sad thing is….I really fell for the guy in the picture…I hate that I am so gullible and such a romantic that I could get duped so easily. I lost 135 pounds recently and my self esteem is a little damaged from being heavy for so long and now I am smaller….I put part of his profile in quotes and googled it and he popped up all over the place, swingers websites, erotic websites, multiple dating sites…makes me sick. I feel bad for the poor guy in the picture they stole. I wish I could find him.
March 1st, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Hi Kate
So sorry to hear about your emotional rollercoaster ride recently. Once caught out scammers will always try the “but I love you, you broke my heart” blah blah blah rubbish to try to reel you back in and sometimes it does work. I get emails from people who KNOW they are dealing with a scammer but reach out to me in the desperate hope I will say they are not a scammer.
It’s such a shame he caught you at a vulnerable time in your life, confidence wise but at least the damage was only emotional and broken hearts do heal in time.
Anyone can get duped that easily, many say they can’t but I assure you they can when dealing with a professional con artist. This is what you have to remember, you were not dealing with a some poor kid on a 20 year old computer in a mud hut but with a professional scam artist, probably belonging to a scam ring of like minded thieves and conmen. The professionals are slick, clever and good at what they do. How else could they be everything you have ever wanted in a man … but also be everything someone else wanted in a woman or man.
Don’t beat yourself up, just google love scams or romance scams and see how many intelligent professional people get duped by these swines. Time to learn lessons and move on.
Big hugs.
March 3rd, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Kate this comment was left for you by imabritishbird but she sent is as an email rather than a comment:
Don’t feel bad I had a similar guy… only I called him out on it… if some guy tells you he “loves” you!!! that ids the first biggest flag ! as much as we may want it… no one can love anyone until you have met face to face… and red flag # 2 “send me money” !!! I’m glad you didn’t buit I’m sorry you had to go thu that.. he is scum and not worthy of a fine person like you
keep going girl the right one will find you… be perticular and be sceptical until they prove to you they are genuine… make em come visit your State! good luck. The Bird
May 11th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
They have a new way I have not herd about. So be aware I to was scam this way. I wish I had done some research like I am doing now, but I guest it is never to late. I met this man on tagged his name is James Johnson, we talk for a while. the next thing I know he was in Nigeria from N Y I asked him how come Nigeria that is the scam capital of the world, he said his job send him there,he was a builder foreman.After a few weeks talking he said his daughter fell and hit her head that if I can send him 200. 00 for med. I asked him how come he does not have any money or credit card.His card will not work over there. and he did not have time to get his ck. But he will send me his Ck to keep for him. I send him 175.00. and in 2 days there was UPS delivering a package with a check for 55, 000 that look so real a true bank their address is correct. the co is correct, I thought every thing was good. Then he start asking for more money, That I am holding his ch and as soon as he come to the state he will cash his ck and pay me. It ever happen. It is a long story.he got me good, look out for the check game, and I will pay you back you are holding my check.He try to get money for this B T A but I search and find out that was fake too.
May 11th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
Wow so many disapointing stories. I meet a girl of OkCupid and it went great, but she told me how she was scammed emotionally. An indian guy put up pictures of a blond male model. He tricked her into meeting him..the only problem is that he is indian! Not sure what his plan was…
.-= paul´s last blog ..OKCupid Tell Me Whats Up =-.
June 23rd, 2010 at 6:36 pm
It was sad to see all these stories- its horrible that some of the scammers build a “relationship” with people and then hurt them. how frustrating to spend time “getting to know someone” and then find out all he or she wants is money. I guess the lesson is to NEVER EVER give money to someone you only know on-line.
.-= Phoenix Date Ideas@PhoenixDateIdeas´s last blog ..Birdwatch (or hike and camp) at Chiricahua National Monument =-.
June 29th, 2010 at 12:25 am
scammers will never sleep because they wanna make money out of fools
August 23rd, 2010 at 6:26 am
To Judy from may 11th. I’ve talked with James Johnson also. His story with me was a little different but parts were very similar. You’d think he’d change his name! lol Fortunately, we are figuring this out before things became too overwhelming!
Good luck to you!
August 24th, 2010 at 5:40 am
How do I find out if this person I feel is trying to scam me is on a list of any kind. Who do I report it to? If I can help get one person busted for cheating others out of their money then it will help me not feel like such a foo. I have not sent money only because mom always said if it was to good to be true then it usally is. He was so perfect. Not a model type but very loving. Please help me as soon as possible before he catches on I am trying to bust him.
August 24th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Hi Lesha
Can you use the Ask a Daing Question link at the top of this blog and send me a message. I will reply from my private email address and you can then forward any details you have (email accounts, phone numbers, photo’s, documents and any details he has gioven about himself (where he works, etc). I will then check him out and see if he is on the scammer radar already.
August 25th, 2010 at 12:45 am
sure, I will send what I have to you.
Thanks
August 26th, 2010 at 12:01 am
Lesha you need to google this guy do a reverse email search and if your gut tells you he is a scammer follow your gut instinct.Also there are many many sites google 419 scams and scambaiter sites many people who have been scammed will find much comfort in knowing that these 419 Nigerian scammers are a bunch of complete uneducated idiots who will do just about anything if you promise them a little bit of cash don’t believe me go to youtube and check for yourself.
Now with that being said I have had many MANY Nigerian scammers try to come to me however I call them out quickly I am very well versed on 419 scams courtesy of a good honest friend of mine.And I guess it also doesn’t help a scammer to try to approach me with my very strong personality.AS A RULE NEVER SEND MONEY TO ANYONE YOU DO NOT KNOW EVER,and almost all of the Nigerian scammers lack intelligence they start sentences with words like Am Godfearing Person or I will like to know you or it is a dead giveaway if they ask for your yahoo im id right away or they Love you after one chat many Nigerian scammers work in teams and they will lie about being in the US and they will use others pictures if you recieve any email address always do a reverse search or look up their ISP I Hope this helps if not feel free to email me.
September 6th, 2010 at 2:15 am
Well, I guess I am just a next victime of the scam. However, this time they didn’t mention anything about Nigerian or anything relate to African. The girl who I met that saying she is living in London taking care of her sick mom that passed away the next couple days after we met. She said she didn’t have much money to pay for the hospital, funeral fees, then she asked for raising the money to suport her mom funeral…which I did raise 200USD. Then next couple days, she asked for money again to buy her airplane ticket to get out of London since she is in trouble of kidnapping by inheritance her mom’s will. This is not the reason that cause me to help her, but because I believed in all pics that shown her very cute and attractive….Anyway, I sent another 170USD via Western Union which I told her that all I could do for her. She disappeared a couple days after that, then came back with BTA amount that need me to help again. At this time, it cause me concerned about that fee which I traveled a lot in the past and never heard of BTA. I was concernning about that weird topic then I did google BTA and found out about this site…. now I know I am a next victim. Anyway, I just want to share my story to let people know that the scammers are still out there and honestly, they are still able to get their work done in many different ways.
September 7th, 2010 at 9:54 am
Hi meidiot
You are not an idiot, you are just a trusting desent person and that is what the scammers look for.
The trouble with men getting scammed is it only takes a few pictures (usually taken from modelling websites) to stop your brains from thinking passed the obvious. At least you learnt your lesson and didn’t lose a lot of money … bet you don’t fall for it again!!
September 6th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
Great info!! Now if I can only convince my sister-in-law that this is exactly what is happening to her on Facebook!!
September 10th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Hello,i’ve met two guys from blacket planet.now the first one i met was really sweet.i feel like i have been scammed twice.first,i met this guy by the name of Bobby Jack from New York.he loves me so much.we have been talking for over a year now and i can say that i have sent him money in the past.the more money you send,the more he needs.he needed money for everything from his mom having cancer,to him and his daughters getting in a car accident,to needing money for food,to hospital bills.the doctors won’t do surgery unless they have the money first,should have known it was a scam.but he keeps on contacting me for more money.what should i do.i met another guy from black planet by the name of Henry Thomas.a very very sweet and talkitive man.promises that he loves you,well both of them did.he was inheriting alot of money and properties from his dad that died in a car accident.i sent him money to.i still hear from him at times but not like we would ususally talk every night.i need to know if both of these guys are scammers.Bobby is from New York and Henry is from Hemet,Calafornia.please let me know,thanks…….broken-hearted
September 12th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Hi Tonya
How do you know these guys are from NY and Hemet? Are you just taking their word for it or have you rung them on NY and Hemet numbers (not mobiles)?
Their stories are certainly the ones scammers would tell, with car accidents, sick parents/children and of course big inheritence coming!! It is possible, although highly unlikely, that two guys in the US just happen to have the exact problems in their lives that scammers have … I wonder what the odds are of that (bet it’s worse than winning the lottery jackpot).
Ask them for land line numbers in the US, then call them and when you do ask about some very personal things from your conversations with them … scammers just give you numbers for your country but you’re actually calling someone you have never spoken to in your life before. Scammers will think of a million reasons to not give you this information or will get very angry because you don’t trust them .. keep level headed and demand a number. This will confirm if they are scammers.
September 19th, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Hi been chatting to someone who calls himself dennis this week, within 5 minutes I realised he was a con artist… Had a fair bit of fun asking him questions that he found difficult to answer. Like his shoe size, which he relied as size 32…lol. I then asked if he was a clown….
Had all the photos through, the declarations of love and the email telling me about his trip….lol guess where? Nigeria!!!
He’s a millionaire that runs a construction company in the State!!!! as he calls it. Terrible broken English, but can’t stop winding him up, suppose if i’m chatting to him, he’s leaving some other unsuspecting female alone!
September 20th, 2010 at 9:09 am
Well done Busymum .. keep them cahtting and away from vulnerable victims.
September 20th, 2010 at 10:06 am
hello,i need some help.i was here not long ago talking about the guys that i met on black planet.i talked to Henry tonight and he promises me that the boxes with the money are suppose to be coming to my house,right !! i haven’t seen a box yet.i use to get e-mails from a barrister by the name of Samuel Jacobs. everytime i ask him about the boxes he says they are waiting for international clearence. i know better now because he keeps asking for more money. it has been 3 or 4 different times that he has asked me for money but i have only sent money to him once,stupid me. he calls me his wife and he loves me to death and can’t live without me but he never calls me.maybe like every blue moon. am i wasting my time with this man ? because obviously he wants nothing but money. he tells me as soon as i send the money to the bank manager in nigeria,they will deliver the boxes to my house and then i can send him money so that he and the kids can come to me here. what should i tell him the next time i talk to him because i have feel in love with him but i know its not never gonna be. please help,broken-hearted
September 20th, 2010 at 10:21 am
hi…i have another problem. now this one is with Bobby Jack. unlike the others here i have tried to google both of there names and nothing come back really. Henry’s name comes up but Bobby’s don’t.they abbreviate there words alot and misspells them.i know i’m suppose to be talking about Bobby but they both do some of the same things. they soemtimes say the same things to me in an e-mail,like they have been reading poems or something. Henry is most of the time always misspelling his words backwards or some letters are out of place. on the other hand Bobby sends me poems with other peoples names on them. i ask him about it and he says he don’t but he do. again he loves me,misses me so much and i am his pride and joy,yea right. he and Henry will get angry when they ask for money and i tell them that i can’t get it or i don’t have it.like tonight Henry asked me to send $300.00′s so that we could get the boxes and when i told him i had no way of getting the money he said,so what now ? do you want us to loose all of this money that you know we need to be better off.my first mind told me to snap and then i thought about it. i told him i would send the money the next day,not because i don’t have it. why is it that you always need to send them money to come to you ? Henry says he works for Nokia phone company as a manager now,so where is the money ? Bobby does the same thing. promises me that if i send him the money to come home,he will pay me all of my money when he gets here. he also has his so called friend e-mailing me to ask for help.what in the heck is wrong with these people ? yes, i can admit that i have been scammed but do they actually think i will keep getting scammed ? no way. please help me……lost in love
September 22nd, 2010 at 6:21 am
Hi Tonya
I am going to be cruel to be kind here …. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE.
Some obvious points:
1. You ask “why is it that you always need to send them money to come to you?” … the answer is you don’t, it’s a SCAM. They are NOT coming to you, they don’t even read what you say to them and they are copying and pasting the same words of love and poems to 100 women a day around the world, hence the wrong names on the poems. They will say whatever it takes for you to send money via western union to them, if that means calling you their wife then that’s what they’ll do … look I’ll show you
Hi baby, I missed you so Much today. i just dreaming of day we can be together and I can hold my wife in my Arm and make safe. I have to pay the money for the ticket this week so we can be together can you send it tomorrow? You have the western union details yes? You know how much I love you honey and i just want to be with my wife forever. Blah blah blah
So are we married? Do I love you? Or was I thinking about my shopping list while I typed that???
2. What boxes? There are no boxes, he is scamming you for money.
3. You ask what is wrong with these people … the answer is they are crushingly poor and desperate so will do anything to get money. Once they start to get money without having to work for it they just keep on going, it’s like winning the lottery every week.
4. You say “yes, I can admit that i have been scammed but do they actually think I will keep getting scammed?” … well I think you will so why would they think any differently? You are still falling for this scam because you are talking about being broken hearted and about boxes being delivered.
The problem you have Tonya is you know you have been scammed but your brain is not ready yet to fully accept it (that’s a normal stage for a victim to go through). If you fully accept it them you have to accept you have lost your money and you have been conned, it’s not an easy thing to accept but it is way past time you accept it and cease ALL contact with these people.
You are even accepting emails from his friends … doesn’t it tell you something when the man who “loves you and thinks of you as his wife” is passing you about for others to scam?
You also sign off with “lost in love” .. with who, Bobby, Henry or someone else? If you were really in love with one of these people you would not be chatting about love with another one of them. What you are in love with is the image in your mind that someone out there loves you and wants to care for you forever (again perfectly normal but you are taking it too far for your own good now).
BLOCK their email addresses, accept you have lost your money and spend some time healing. We can all be victims but you are actively helping them scam you … STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
September 25th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
@ Tonya please cut off all communication with all of these men they are everywhere on all sites especially blackplanet,myspace,facebook and now even blackspace and tagged the list goes on and on you can find them on almost ALL dating sites using others pics.I am willing to bet that all of the pics you’ve seen of these men are NOT their true pics do you have their email addresses if so go to facebook and search them by their email adresses I can almost guarantee you will see a very Very different face usually their true faces as I have said many are not very smart they will use their real email address and use fake pics do NOT Send any money nor make promises to send any and you will see a very different side of these SCAMMERS.Your heart will heal but you must accept that you have been scammed.
@ Meidiot sally is right you are not an idiot nine times out of ten you were scammed by a MAN posing as a WOMAN this happens alot or you were scammed by a team always remember NEVER EVER send money to STRANGERS I am very happy that you caught on and found this site.
September 25th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
@ Tonya also thy cannot I repeat CANNOT come to you without meeting all of the requirements and one of the requirements is they have to send them an invite and think about it the names they are using seem to be common American names but if you are speaking to them and they have accents and broken English it is a dead give away and also for your own safety NEVER give anyone your address.I had a scammer to approach me on blackplanet who asked for my Address said he wanted to send me some gifts I told him I knew he was a scammer and I wasn’t giving him my address this idiot then asked for someone else’s address I told him he had to be a complete Idiot,about 2 Months later he tried it again and I wasn’t nice at all.
September 25th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
sorry for the typos also correction I meant to type you have to send them an invite meaning you basically have to sponsor them financially.
September 29th, 2010 at 1:20 am
I met a US capt on girls datingforfree he claims he works for NATO …his got a daughter ,wife died 2005, he is in Iraq Camp victory…his English is quiet good too but one thing after reading all the comments i am not sure if he is real!! because he wants me to pay for connection to talk to him…I`m not stupid so i don`t pay for something till i am 100% sure….and I have warn him and I`m not interested in talking to him weather real or fake…poor women why do we let men play with our good nature?
September 30th, 2010 at 10:31 am
Hi Grace
You can be sure he is 100% a scammer. No soldiers, US or British need a woman to pay to get connected to them.
September 30th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Hello Sally.Henry has e-mailed me a couple of times since being here.he wanted me to send $300.00′s to help get the boxes.but when i refused he got upset saying that i let him and the kids down and that we lost what his dad had left for us.i have learned to back away now.i don’t talk to him any more.he told me thanks for leting us down.thats how he spelled “leting”.i recently had surgery and he supposely was coming to be with me then.he told me that he and the kids had parked there loads,whatever in the heck that meant and that they would be with me the same day and then he changed it and said the second day.oh he layed it on thick saying how they wanted to come and be with me after i came out of the strongest room.”what”? ok now i know thats hes a very sick person.thank you for helping me see that cruelty in these kind of people.i have cut off all contact with this two people.i don’t think i will be using the internet any more to find true love after this….GOT A HEALTHY LOOK ON LIFE NOW
September 30th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Hi,now Bobby,i will get online from time to time and he have left me offline messeges.saying that he loves me and he can’t wait to see me.he thinks i’m going to send him $300.00′s that he needs to come and be with me.now when i also refused to send him money everytime he ask,oh he promises that he loves me and that he will take care of me when he gets home and all of that.i have not had no contact with him either.i am trying to heal like you told me to but after today,i am going to delete everything that deals with him and Henry.i tryed yesterday to get into my mail and someone had been tampering with it.now this is the first time someone ever has tried to do this.i wouldn’t say it was Bobby but i wouldn’t put it past Henry because he has told me that he was good with computers.but i have completely cut off all contact with them now,no more lies.thanks for being here to help me see the areas of my ways.its good to have someone to talk to here.Healing just fine
October 3rd, 2010 at 3:13 am
Hi Tonya
I’m glad to hear you have come to your senses. Do not try to contact them or read any messages from them, no matter how tempted you feel.
Spend some time healing and then come back and I will show you how to find a real man on the internet
October 2nd, 2010 at 1:04 am
hie Sally I`m now 100% sure that he is a scammer and his name is, CAPT MICHAEL HELGESON sinse the day I told about people using connection to scam women he is no longer signing in online plus I have warn the dating site and send them all his emails and pics
October 5th, 2010 at 2:00 am
As the stories keep going on and on, I believe there are lots of people looking for their sound mate and true love. However, I just wonder if you, Sally, can be a safe connection for us here to know others then we won’t be worry about scammers anymore. In fact, I imagic one day people come back and make a nice statement about how you make people connected. I also wonder if some of them finally found their mate via you, then their wedding will have you as a best friend ever. JUst a though
October 5th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
Hi Meidiot
Thanks for the compliment. I do run a dating site and we have had weddings but because of the scam problems I only allow people from the Uk on my site, it helps to control the scammers that try to join.
If you find someone you like online I am happy to check them out for you if you email me their details. It won’t be 100% certain but it might help you.
October 9th, 2010 at 3:23 am
oh i know someone his name is sergeant James o Watkins and he is good. Very eloquent you will fall in love with his words.
October 19th, 2010 at 9:12 am
Hello Sally and how are you ? i am doing just fine.i had to come here and let off some steam.i know that you told me to cut off all contact with and i have.its just that my daughters boyfriend and i were talking and thinking out loud about how to look up ip numbers from an e-mail,right ? so we figured it out and we did it.ok we did Bobby’s first to see where he was sending me e-mails from at the time that we were suppose to be chatting here.and comes to find out that the e-mails were coming from nigeria.so my daughters boyfriend and i confronted him about it and he pretended not to know what we were talking about here.this went on for about 30 minutes or so because he has my daughters boyfriend cell phone number.so he lied to us and told us that he was in Virginia and wanted to come here.he also stated that he wanted us to send him $400 dollars to help get a truck to move his things here.knowing what he wanted all the time was just the money we didn’t do it.so he finally confessed to us that he had been lien to us for well over a year and something now and that the pictures that he was sending were all lies.i couldn’t believe that he was telling us all of these things now.which he told us that he really lives in Nigeria and has been all along.on the other hand Henry will not fess up.we have tryed and tryed to get him to tell the truth about his ip numbers but he hasn’t given in so far yet.he says he uses a stream internet and his ip can show up any where but i checked some and they were in Kansas,New York,and mainly in Nigeria.i don’t have no dealings with either one of them now and it feels real good.please tell me how i can find me a really good man but i don’t think i will be using the internet any more time soon.i have just given up all hopes of finding true love on the net.thanks for listening.i will be waiting to hear from you.bye
October 22nd, 2010 at 11:30 am
Hi Tonya
Sorry to take so long to reply, I’ve been rather busy lately.
There is very little point asking for advice and then ignoring it. I told you to cut off contact completely and you are still opening their emails. Every email software allows you to block contacts .. so just block them. Do not open any of their messages, do not try to trace anything, send anything, receive anything or show them you know what their game is … just move on and forget about them.
This game of trying to trace ip’s and tell them you know they are scammers is not healthy, it will only lead to further frustrations and upset. We already knew they were scammers but to “stick it to them” you had to try to make a point … what did you get out of it? Nothing.
The internet is a great place to meet a partner, if you use it properly and a re realistic about who you are looking for. For you though I think it’s better to look for a man offline, at least in the real world you can see what you are really getting.
October 19th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Hello Henry as asked for $400 hundred dollars again to,to help get the boxes that his dad left for us.i am so sick of these people i have got to figure out how to get him out of my contacts list in my mail cuz thats how is still getting through to send me messeges here.now i said to myself what are the odds of him and Bobby asking for the same dollars amount every single time here.(OMG) this people never gives up.i can admit now that i was really and truely scammed by theses scammers.they get highly upset when i say that they are but they will say,i really love you.i will never use the internet again to find love,i don’t care how tempting it is.because getting hurt is not a good feeling when you think you have found the one you could love and care for but life goes on.another day another story…..bye
October 27th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
I was reading both of your e-mails. I was currently scamed by a man calling himself Edward the e-mail he used was (ask.lovers@yahoo.com) His screen name was Just Now. He claimed to be a french canadian living near Ontario in a city called Adams NY. He claimed to be a widow with a daughter he is raising himself. He really romanced me. He paid my bills sent me gifts, told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. It was awful. I feel in love with this man, and then I started to do some reasearch because I could find no evidence of his existance. He avoided sharing any personal info with me. Then he told me he had to go to Ghana and buy gold, i knew I was being scamed. I kept him on a leash for a few days to see where it would lead. Finally the day came and he asked me to send him money. Of course I decline and told him why. I told him I knew he was a scamer, and I found the fake picture he sent me on a web site with pictures of scamers. His reply was oh damn I am F—-. It has been awful. I feel foolish and violated. I was looking for companionship and love. I am devestated. It was really an elaborate psychological scam. Please every one beware of these guys. They are part of a group call Romance Scams. They lure women off the dating sites and on to Yahoo messenger. Then they begin their “Magic”. Don’t ever chat away from the dating web site, and beware of men who spell poorly, have difficulty with english. Make sure you read the profile carefully, and stay in your local area if possible. I am going to start using a video cam from now on. I learned a lot. Beware fellow daters. These guys are scum.
October 27th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Hi gcteacher
Sorry you fell for a scammer but great to see you have the right attitude .. learn how to spot them and then move on.
Just so readers know … Romance Scams are actually a website who identify scammers and do brilliant work, allowing victims to search their site and see if the person they are speaking to is already identified as a scammer.
November 2nd, 2010 at 4:03 am
OMG, 1 month, I was scammed but the 2nd try, I knew more about him and things were not making sense. Yes his name is James O Watkins. or Jay, beware of him, he is a smooth talker.
November 13th, 2010 at 2:09 am
I am in New Zealand and really am trying to find out if a guy I’m chatting with in the UK is for real, he shows a couple of the scammer behaviours, but I do not want to be paranoid about the situation. Can anyone offer advice on how to go about all this. I am new to online dating and I’ve had enough already
November 13th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Hi Jenny
I am in the UK so may be able to help you .. thre is no harm checking someone out you meet on the internet, if he is genuine he would understand your need to protect yourself.
If you want to use the Ask a Dating Question link at the top of the page that will send me an email and I will reply and see how I can help.
November 14th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
I am responding to ILDA and her post: ilda(new comment) Says:
October 9th, 2010 at 3:23 am oh i know someone his name is sergeant James o Watkins and he is good. Very eloquent you will fall in love with his words.
I need to talk to Ida, please I think I know, James O Watkins, It is important. reach me @ kimiegirl4@gmail.com thanks
November 15th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Well, it didn’t take long…after closing the door on Alan Gibson last week (thank you very much, Sally!)I heard from a new one today…
His initial email (which I hope shall be his last for I intend to ignore it)goes like this:
Dear Associate,
How are you doing my friend, great I guess… Now I know this mail will definitely Come to you as a huge surprise, but please kindly take your time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will probably go a long way to determine my future and continued existence. First,let me introduce myself. I am Capt. Michael Scholl,assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, 3rd Marine Expeditionary Force, western Anbar Province in Iraq. I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you. I am presently in Iraq and I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $10,570,000 (Ten million Five Hundred and Seventy Thousand USD) to the States or any safe country, as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.
SOURCE OF MONEY: Some money in various currencies was discovered and concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunition at a location near one of Saddam Hussein’s old Presidential Palaces during a rescue operation and it was agreed by all party present that the money Be shared amongst us. This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hellhole. The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. He does not know the real contents of the package as he believes that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, before giving up trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out !
of Iraq for you to pick up.
I do not know for how long I will remain here, as I have been lucky to survive two suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention. This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavor to contact me and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.
For more details please contact me via my private box: cpt.michaelschol@usa.com
Respectfully,
Capt.Michael Scholl.
United States Marine Corps. IRAQ.
*SL again–definitely not a patriot and a greed scumbag to boot. Gives the USMC a black eye for people who think he is real. Question…am I going to need to change my email address or will this continue to happen each time I get a new address?
January 3rd, 2011 at 4:44 am
The scammers are now on facebook. The answer is quite simple if you are unsure if you are dealing with a romance scammer or not. Ask to see him on a webcam. No doubt he will gladly to give it a shot, only to find his will not work for some reason. Don’t buy it, he likely has black electrical tape over the cam lens. Don’t let him see you as he is looking for anything in your background to that he can use to tug at your heartstrings as well as to see if you are a cop or not. If no matter what they do they cannot let you see them on a cam……then they are almost 100% a scammer. They can fake photos and ID easily with today’s technology and even videos. Live on a cam is the best way to know for sure.
January 4th, 2011 at 5:08 am
Agree with you completely TJ, great post thank you.
Word of warning though people … if you do get them on cam make them do something to ensure it is live … ask them to move the cam or turn the lights up or down just to be sure.
February 16th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Hello,i would like to know if you have met someone online and they say they love you but you are always asking him to let you see him on webcam and he has a million and one excuses and refuses to let you see him,mmmmmmmmm how strange.i’m wondering if he is hiding something ? why is it that when you ask,he always makes up a tale that either,he doesn’t have the money to buy one or the computer he’s on is broken.the guy sent a home threater system to my house and wanted me to send it to him in the uk.when i refused he got mad and wanted me to sell it here.but i haven’t sold it because nobody has bought it yet.he left me a nasty offline messege saying that i needed to send him his damn money and that he got an e-mail from his auntie who’s looking after his kids,that his daughter is in bad shape(SICKLY).i asked him why haven’t you asked your auntie for help and he told me that he hasn’t because shes looking after his kids.he tells me that i am hartless,whick i know it is suppose to be spelled like this(heartless)so i need a bit of help here.i’m not really into this online dating any more but just happen to come across this guy.he sent the threater to my home before i knew it.so please tell me your out look on this because i can see this isn’t going to get far,waiting to hear from you….good day
February 17th, 2011 at 2:40 am
Hi Tonya
First I would be carefully looking at where the home theatre actually came from, who sent it to your home? My guess is he has got another victim to send it to you and so I would be contacting the sender to ask about why they sent a home theatre to your home address … could be a scammer or could be stolen goods.
His whole story sounds like a scammer. They always give excuses why they can’t put the webcam on (because their face doesn’t match the photos he sent or put on his profile. Scammers always have sickly kids being looked after by a mother/aunt/sister/etc and they never have family or friends who can help them out, so they have to ask strangers on the internet for help. The UK is no more expensive than the USA and where is this money his Dad left him? Scammers also get mad when you won’t send money or call them a scammer, it’s all “you don’t love me and you are selfish”.
It’s just all lies and stories to get you to send money so he can sit on his lazy ass and get rich without working.
My advise … cut all contact, don’t even rply to say you are not going to talk to him anymore. Send the home theatre back to where it came from before the police come knocking on your door and simply delete any further emails from him without even reading them.
February 16th, 2011 at 10:30 am
Yes,this guy has told me that he didn’t have any where to stay because his money ran out and that the hotel he was staying in kicked him out because he couldn’t pay his bill.he also tells me that he doesn’t have nowhere to sleep and hasn’t eaten in days.hes having to stay at a bus station or sleep in a phone booth.i asked him how much money did he take with him and he hasn’t told me but he asked me for $400.00′s to go along with what he had so that he could get home(CALIFORNIA).i asked him why did he go over there to the U.K. and he said to get money that his dad left to him.so i said you knew you were going over there,why didn’t you take enough of money with you.his responce was that things are exspensive there,duh..ok.but he has been talking down to me because i will not send him money.he tells me that i have lied to him and that i don’t love him.i told him i wasn’t trying to love nobody i couldn’t see never again.he said i was so heartless and selfish and that i don’t think about nobody but myself,how is that ? just because i won’t send him money.i am so tired of meeting guys like this.but he seemed to be nice at first but now i don’t know about this.i am not trying to meet no guys but they just come and start talking and when you talk for about 3 or 4 weeks or so,then it starts all back over.advice please
February 28th, 2011 at 4:34 am
Hi guys, this article is spot on. Nowadays, scammers avoid posting pictures that look “too good” to be true. They have been know to steal pictures from social networking sites (such as Facebook or Twitter) to create new identities. In fact, the US army warned soldiers against sharing too much personal information online for this reason and others.
March 12th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Tonya how in the world does a person you have NEVER met in person have your mailing address NEVER give out that type of information ever and why are you still even in contact with Scammers and you already know the answer to your own question you do not need help you know both of those guys are SCAMMARS cut off contact.