Online dating safety is really quite simple but despite all the horror stories people still feel they are invincible behind their computer screen.
When it comes to online dating people are thinking with their emotions, they want to meet someone nice so it’s easy to ignore warning signs and trust too quickly.
It doesn’t matter how well you “think” you know a person from an online dating site, your safety must always be at the forefront of your mind.
Follow these 5 golden rules to online dating safety:
Join a Paid Dating Site
Yes I know, there are all those free sites out there so why should you pay. Very simply because the free sites are where the spammers, scammers and ner-do-wells hang out. Why should they pay when there are millions of potential victims on free sites. Paid sites collect credit card numbers, that is the sort of personal information scammers don’t like to give out. This does not eliminate the risks but it does greatly reduce them.
Personal Information
Flattery can lead people to hand out personal information within minutes of being contacted on a dating site. It’s quite frightening how much you can find out about someone with just a name, email address and phone number.
Guard your personal information well until you are sure you know who you’re talking to, use the sites services to chat for some time before handing out your personal details. If someone gets pushy about your information then ask yourself why.
Get a free email address just for online dating, so you can close it easily if need be. Get a dating mobile phone with a pay as you go card, again this can easily be cancelled. Use a free service like skype to chat online so you can see who you are talking to before you hand out your phone number.
Don’t Be Shy
Ask for personal information and check it! People often worry that the dream man or woman they are chatting to will think you don’t trust them if you insist on some personal information. Any genuine online dater will understand the online dating safety issues and be happy to reassure you with some personal details.
Ensure photos are recent, look for car models in the background, fashions and hairstyles .. are there any 80′s shoulder pads in the photo. Call any phone numbers they give you and call at odd times, not the same time every day, this helps to eliminate married people. Check snippets of information they give you, if they say they live in London and it was a bright sunny day then check the weather forecast for London.
Background Checks
Whether your paid online dating site offers a background check service or you do a background check yourself, remember people tell lies, particularly if they something to hide. No background check is a thorough police search into someones identity so don’t let yourself be fooled into a false sense of security.
All a basic background check does is check whether the information provided is correct and it does not ensure your safety. What if I tell you my name is Emily Parks and I work at Fairfield School as a primary teacher, I drive a red Toyota and have a dog named Spot. Now, what if I just gave you personal details of someone I know .. it will check out fine but that is no guarantee it’s me.
Meeting Up
Whether you are a man or woman you must think about your safety when meeting offline.
Always:
- Meet in a public place
- Tell someone where you are meeting
- Call a friend five minutes after you meet
- Tell your friend their car registration details if they came by car
Never:
- Allow them to collect you from home
- Let them book you a hotel
- Arrange to stay at their house
- Give them your credit card to pay for dinner while you nip to the toilet
romance and relationships
May 11th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
These days you can never be too careful about the people you associate with. A sign of the times I suppose.
June 7th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
love these ideas. Great work. Quality
June 8th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I have to agree on the Paid dating sites part, it is well worth it !
June 10th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
This is a great article, saftey is never an option specially when it comes to online dating.
Eli’s last blog post..Online Dating?
September 17th, 2009 at 2:39 am
we must always think of the safety of everyone especially the teens.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Hi Oscar
While I agree we must protect younger people with less life experience, I also think the teens are far more internet savvy than many of us oldies. Older generations tend to be more trusting and the fact that they are often looking for a committed relationship, rather than some fun, makes them more vulnerable to scammers and crazies.
September 17th, 2009 at 2:42 am
The idea in the article is true and it is very helpful especially to teenagers who are common victims of gang and date rape.
September 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 am
These days, trust is not a matter of faith anymore but rather a matter of verification. Do not be fooled by love!
May 21st, 2010 at 9:25 pm
This is interesting, i have been playing with the spammers and scammers re: online dating scam. the new bta is interesting, the scammers will argue with you when you catch them in their obvious lie. I have just completed a sting operation of 2 such SISTERS IN SCAM from Nigeria, England,Italy, See i play the game also, i found someone photo male, from face book, tagged with false name and joined in the fun for over a year in half. Wanted to see how far this would go.. IT started off with low figure 600.00 graduated to 1500. for some documents being held because they stay at hotel and basic pow nonsense. DONT FALL FOR IT, they will say they are not being fed, about to die, the biggest crapola from uae now in dubai, NO no one is going to die there. Short story, when these scammer are done and they know they cannot extract any money or more money if you fall prey, they will tell you male or female, they want to meet you and dupe you to pay one way plane fare then all of sudden bta which is a fraud, basic travel allowance no, btr basic travel required is real in some countries, key word to follow ALLOWANCES, these jerkers dont know the meaning between allowances and requirement.
know you foreign currency exchange market, they will for example UK say it will cost 5000 british silver pounds, NOPE high end 75 Cents on the dollar. I finally had enough you can also track email of the scammers, copy paste scammers email addr , then if you have option in email to display full headers of email to that email address. Google who is, select trace email, copy past the email address and copy past full header information run trace, will tell you exactly where this bozo email from country, map will display with in 600 yards will also provide ip address and internet service they use. I have 23 ladies and gentlement now arrested and waiting trail for international dating scam .. Its nice to know how to program and actually help authorities catch these Individuals, gotta play to catch em takes some time can be fun, depending if you single, not so much if you date or being married, because you can be talking to one or up to 6 or seven depending on their masters schedule,… ME i dont like the girls having to serve jail time for some Scum bag jerk who really should be the one in jail. I concentrate on that goof over the ladies, they just do what is told and get paid, like a kicker on football team ,, kick ball collect check. Hope this also adds insight.
August 16th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
It is a sad commentary on the world today that you have to almost assume that what you see online is bogus. Perhaps the paid sites could offer a service that includes pre-screening?
August 18th, 2010 at 3:32 am
Hi Steve
The only way to do this I think Steve would be to go out and interview each member. Some dating sites for local areas do this but the cost of doing it worldwide would mean the dating sites would be unaffordable for the masses. Hopefully technology will come up with something in the near future.
December 6th, 2010 at 1:35 am
nice text you wrote i like it…I got scam and beleive it really hurt. I wonder why the dating site when we refer a scammer to them why they don’t post their picture and name on the site, so like this anaway you can verify and this part should be available to every boby. also when they remove a profile intead to say for ex: this profine is not available anymore or anything else…it should say this profile has been reported as a scammer..be carefull…also when we reporte a scammer on a dating site i think if it is possible that an e-mail should go to all the people the person chat with and tell them this person has been reported as a scammer…
I enjoy reading oon your site
thanks for the good advice
Renay
December 7th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Hi Renay
You are correct dating sites should do this but they see it as “bad press”, thinking we don’t all know that their site gives easy access to scammers. The honest answer is they don’t care, scammers registering with their website adds to the numbers of profiles and this in itself brings in more paying customers.
March 21st, 2011 at 1:27 am
Meeting at public places is a number one sign of safety,where you can learn about plenty of details of woman or man you date.After you learned a lot of good things of a person you met,then you can bring him or her home and go to his /her home.
June 14th, 2011 at 8:52 am
My love thanks so much for your effort, care and support, honey I just forward your bank information to my bank in UK, time now in Turkey is 08.31am and time in UK is 06.31am, so they will commence on the transfer as soon as they get to their office, Honey since you said that you will be able to send me 6,346.58EUR today, that will really help me a lot to enable me salt out my hotel bill and some other little expenses, because as I write to you know I don’t have any money in my possession here in Turkey.
My love you are such a kindhearted person I cant wait to meet you in person, If not for you how could I have pass through all this stress and predicament all alone honey, you so special to me in all areas of my life once again I say thank you very much for your concern and support, find below is the payment details you will give to the western union agent.
Payment Details
Receiver First Name: Bright
Receiver Last Name: Enofe
Hotel Receiving Address: Plot 4, Gemikonagi, Istanbul,Turkey.
Please honey immediately you sent the money today or tomorrow morning, just try to send me a text message on my telephone or give me a call, so that I can check my mail immediately and collect the Western Union payment information’s to enable me salt out my hotel bill and some other little expenses. Thanks a million
Hug and a million kisses my darling.
Bright.
June 14th, 2011 at 8:59 am
My darling
Honey I am sorry to wake you up from sleep and it was nice hearing your lovely voice, as I told you on our telephone conversation. this afternoon I went to my bank and I was told again that my Account was blocked because of they noticed that a third party was trying to temper and hack into my account on my behalf, and the Security Network Agency noticed it and has to put a hold on it for further investigation, due to this reasons the Anti-Terrorist Department received the alert and immediately they have to blocked the account from any transaction until I come back to obtain and submit an Anti-Terrorist Certificate before the account can be release and start functioning again.
It was further stated to me that, it very important I obtain the Certificate so that to authenticate that all transaction which has been carried out was not used for drugs or terrorism purpose, so I have been instructed to provide the European Union Anti-Terrorist Certificate for clear of funds, so that the last funds transfer transaction can successfully be completed and transfer into your receiving Bank account in Japan as proposed.
My love I am so sorry that I was not able to complete all requirement and enable you receive your money today as I promise, well there is no much problem about that, I will consult my lawyer first thing tomorrow morning, so that we can discuss about on how to get the requested Anti-Terrorist Certificate, so that I can be able to have complete access to my bank account again, because right now I am so stocked out of cash and I need to get my goods clear from the Custom as soon as possible, because I need to deliver some of my goods to my customers so that they can pay me my balance money for the goods, If I am able to do that I can pay you the money I lend you first with the money through western union, to enable you get your money on time, because I am really worried about you, I know it has not be easy for us to cope all this while.
Seriously my love, it has not been easy all day, I am happy I am back home though, Sandra extend her greetings to you, and I promised her that by God grace very soon we will be coming to pay you visit as soon as I clear my goods and salt out all this stress at hand, missing you so much right now my love, I so much appreciate all your assistance to me so far, I cant just wait to meet you in person soon my love, sorry that I have to leave now, today was really hectic, take good care of yourself and do know I love and care so much about you.
Millions of Hugs and Kisses to you my lovely adorable
“Angelo Bright”
Bright.
June 14th, 2011 at 9:02 am
Honey,
Baby each time I read your message it always make me full of so much excitement, I am so excited that we came to locate each other after a very long time in our life’s, Honey I sow your missed call on my phone, and I tried calling you back several times, but you could not pick up the phone, maybe you where sleeping when I called, I wanted to inform you that the Turkey art and craft exhibition date as been announced and will commence on 10Th of January 2011, as soon as I arrive Turkey after purchasing my goods I will fly back to UK, so when I am back we will make planes of coming to pay you visit visit during the period of my vacation by God grace, actually I don’t know yet when I will be back from Turkey, I will always keep you inform about my activities in Turkey.
I thought about telling you things about my history which I have never narrate to any woman before in my life but I just believed you are the right person to relate my personal history with, just for you to know more about my person and my family before we meet each others so you won’t find it difficult to understand my person, I have been taking my time composing the letter to your understanding please read carefully just for you my darling please keep to yourself alone, there are so much to write about myself but few has to be stated first, when we meet in person i will inform you more.
I was the first among 2 children of my parent, and my father is the only son of his father and use to help his father on the art design also help him to market the goods at a point when my father traveled for trade that was when he met my mother but due to his line of business he was unable to stay long with his first love and he already made love with her for the few time that was spent with her and she got pregnant at the first date. In early six month later my mother came over to Greece in search of my father, so after then they both went back to England for a brief introduction and came back with my mother to Greece .
9 months later she gave birth to her first child in Greece which was a male child and was named (Bright), so it was a successful married life for the both partner because having a male child was every man’s wish at that time, 8 years later my parent gave birth to a girl, but this time it was not an easy task anymore because the income was not forth coming anymore because my father was still living under the roof of his father so all the money was actually coming in from my grandfather all though my father was the marketer of his creative art design and was also a maker.
At a point my grandfather was tired of taking care of the entire family also he never liked my mother due to the fact that she was an English woman but since she gave birth to a male child he decided to let the feelings die inside him but when she finally put to bed to a girl the grudges develop and ask my father to please look for a place for himself and start up a new life because he was tired of responsibilities, then my father was really confuse because he never save for himself when working under his own father so he had misunderstanding with his father and left angrily to his own apartment with his family.
My father said it was hell raising us all and my mother left when she was unable to cope with the situation because she has always told my father that we should move together to England and get a better life but my father refused because he believed he can change things back there in his home country.
At the outset, after my mother has ran to England living the kids behind my father began to suffer from livercyrosis because he was an alcoholic and never wanted to call for his father financial assistant for us, the illness eat deep into his liver and his father spent a lot on biopsy and therapy trying to manage his life but it got to a time my grandfather gave up on him by saying he warn him about my mother because His alcohol intake increased due to the heartbreak he got from my mother which led to the vicious cycle of the disease.
I started taking care of my father all by myself and with the help of his life insurance but to all effort I watch the jewel I cherish so much die in my arms that is the day I will never forget in my life but before he died he proclaimed to me to go in search of my mother and never work as an Art maker due to the experience he had and he said I should give myself a better education so that I can raise my sibling.
I cried all through those years of struggling but later moved to my grandfather’s house and at that time I made through my way to England at the age of 17 in search of my mother and explain everything that happened, but at that time my mother was not even on the best side because she was married to someone else and things were a bit difficult but as a man I could stand it all. She still loves us very much but there was nothing she could do.
Furthermore, I decided to go for an asylum which got me a foster parents Mr. /Mrs. Ashley Giggs, who took me all the way through my education also I was working in a pizza hut during the weekend I work in McDonald for 2hours all my effort was to bring my sibling to England although she was doing well in Greece but I wanted her to have a bright future.
To God be the glory I succeeded bringing in my sister after i rounded up my university, and I was then earning monthly salary, and I made sure she went through her education, and I was not getting any younger so I decided to find someone for myself to be my wife and of course the mother of my kids, and I was attracted to my EX-wife.
At first she was very kind and loving but she later develop grudge to my beloved sister that she demand too much complaining that she is deem fit to start up on her own and to stop disturbing my peace with her, but I tried to make her understand that she have no other means because I was the one that represent her father and mother and she pretend to have heard and pleaded that she will not complain about it again At the outset, she got pregnant for me and things started going on smoothly and my sister was doing well in her education, at the long run my ex put to bed and was named Sandra and I was astonish with a lot of joy because I was a father after many years of suffering.
I find out things where not really doing well because I was really under going through a lot, I had to go back to university and study construction/consultant engineer which lasted for about 2years and gained my master degree, but my ex-wife was not in supportive of the course and always have problems in my home because she keep saying my sister are the problems we are having that now I have a family she should start up her life and back off, as a man I always try to make her and the baby happy though it was really difficult.
At the end she decided to divorce me but my friends and I pleaded and she decided to stay back, after some time my sister got a job in Ireland as a stockbroker and she moved there, after some time I rounded up my course and began to search for a job. It wasn’t really easy getting my kind of job that really suit my profession but was still working and earning monthly income, at a time I decided to embark on the business of selling Art design since I was use to the business before and I started traveling to France, Germany and Egypt to purchase art and craft design, this is my first time of going to Turkey to purchase design at first it was really difficult because I invested the little I saved on the business. My ex wife began to act funny because she saw things were going down.
On that faithful day I traveled out to buy some design for sale because I do not have a gallery of my own at that time, I was suppose to return in about 5days interval but the art makers where not having much to sell so I decided to come back home and make arrangement for another trip, to my greatest surprise I met my lovely ex-wife in my matrimonial bed with my bosom friend.
I wanted the world to immediately come to an end because I was suffering for her sake but still she went ahead sleeping around me.
So then I had no option by calling up the marriage and swear not to have anything to do with women again, and she sue me by saying she needed some part of my savings and the British high court instruct me to do as she has desire, and said she wanted to leave our 5years old daughter for me to take care of because I have a sister, so I gladly accept my daughter and start up from somewhere again and I sold all I had to cope.
After sometime I took Sandra to my sister in Ireland so that I can apply for jobs and work towards it, I had series of job opportunity I was not contented with the field activities but to God be the glory I was called for an interview in Imperial UK Building Services Company and I had excellent and they tested my field construction ability and I made it successfully, so I was offer a space in the company and I immediately asked my sister to bring down my daughter because I already found a good job, within a year I was promoted to field manager and I began to earn good income.
After few months later my sister felt sick, she was sick of kidney problem, and i have to traveled down to Ireland and bring her over to Manchester, for proper medication, so that i can be seeing her, so a day came and the doctor told me that she has to go for an operation, during the operation she lost her life, and i feel that the world is almost coming to an end, because i love her so much, and i have contributed so much for her life, well it was a painful experience. I still have to continue with life no matter what happen.
Due to the customers I was already making in terms of my art design purchase I decided to open a gallery after some time, and my daughter wanted someone to call mother and I was already feeling the impact of settling down with someone but not from England and I got the idea from my cousin that I can meet someone really special on the site because his friends got married and settle down with someone from the site and they both live happily in Australia at present and I was interested and he directed me on how to go about it but to my greatest surprise I have not spend up to one month I already found a woman who has the quality of a real woman which ended up to be YOU and I keep praying to God that you should love me with all your heart and do not have double mind for our relationship.
To this end, I do wish to formally inform you that I need to end my story right here and do believe to have informed you correctly.
Hug and million Kisses
Bright
June 14th, 2011 at 9:04 am
I will love to hear the sound of your voice, this is my private telephone number if you which to call me 00447780628277 and also send me your telephone number so that I can always reach you whenever I feel like hearing your voice.
Hug and kisses.
Bright.
August 24th, 2011 at 4:41 am
this is a really great article. Im reading this just for the online security stuff. Im only sixteen but since im always home and home and home, i go online a lot and have quite a few online friends. My mother warned me sooooo many times about people online. She never gave me permission to join facebook or twitter. thanks so much! really great stuff
August 24th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
You are welcome MissTeen(!) I am glad to be of help and hope you will share some of the security information with your friends.
Remember NEVER trust anyone you only meet online, they can be anyone behind the keyboard and photos and documents can be stolen or faked.
August 26th, 2011 at 4:47 am