Speed Dating - For or Against?

Have you ever tried speed dating? I have managed to avoid it and hope that shall remain the case. I just don’t see the pleasure in supermarket style shopping for a dating partner but there are plenty of successful speed dating sites out there so they must have an active audience.

What was that tv programme called where items went past on a conveyor belt and contestants had a few seconds to remember them? They then won any items they recalled, with the audience shouting out ’set of pans, record player and cuddly toy’. I don’t remember the name of the show but I do remember it was quite difficult to remember all the items.

If you are old enough to remember the show then you have an idea of what speed dating is all about. It is basically a conveyor belt of people that you interview as potential dates and then you write on cards who you would like to hear from. If they also write your name as a potential date then your contact details are exchanged.

So here you are, you have decided to give it a go, you are sat in a chair at a restaurant type table and get to ask a set number of questions to people as they hop from table to table. Just check out the photo on Swift Dater, is it only me who thinks that looks more like lunch at a business conference than somewhere to meet the potential love of your life?

Just check out some of the names for these companies and you will immediately see what it’s all about … with names like swift dater or fast impressions … anyone else reminded of the Blind Date tv show with Cilla Black?

There is no reason for it not to work, let’s be honest it only takes a moment in a supermarket queue or to see the hunky new delivery guy in your office to feel chemistry and start daydreaming about a date with them.

However in my mind I think chance encounters are far more exiting than a queue of people there for an interview.

Clearly I am not a fan of speed dating and any dating advice I gave would not include speed dating but I do admit I have never tried it. If you have tried it and either loved or loathed it please leave a comment and let us know about your experiences.

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5 Dating Tips for Restaurants

Why oh why do people arrange first dates in a restaurant? People are bound to be nervous and surrounding yourself with sharp implements to impale yourself on in a fit of Norman Wisdom clumsiness is just asking for trouble.

Even if you manage to avoid removing an eye with the butter knife there are still the other restaurant obstacles to be avoided, like wearing half of your food, your inability to read french or know which form of sushi is likely to kill you, forgetting which is the red wine glass or heaven forbid being rude to the waiter in order to look ‘cool’ and in control.

Personally I would prefer a night of ten pin bowling or bungie jumping, at least then I am expected to make a total fool of myself.

However, the fact remains that most first dates are held in restaurants.

Here are a few golden rules for a successful first date eating out.

1. Don’t be adventurous. It is always tempting to say “let’s try the new Bungamelion place in town” in order to look sophisticated but if your usual idea of an adventurous meal out is sweet and sour pork or chicken korma then being faced with a menu of deep fried ostrich testicles or turtles eyes in frog spit may result in a rather embarrassing experience. Stick to the tried and tested.

2. Choose neutral ground. Book somewhere that neither of you have been before, this way if the food is dreadful it does not reflect on your personal choices and you can both complain about the awful food or service and vow never to return again. You can also suggest a second date in order to improve on the first. Lastly if you happen to find a bunny boiler then taking them to your Friday night eatery is a very bad idea, they have a habit of showing up again.

3. Be careful what you eat. Garlic breath is not your only concern when eating out, fish, coffee and spicy meat are just some of the foods that make that first kiss a bit of a nightmare. If you are making a night of it also consider avoiding beans, sprouts and anything that will cause loud unpleasant noises in the trouser regions … not to mention the aroma and when not at home you can’t blame the dog.

4. Don’t order for them. Just because you think roasted horse penis is a gourmet dish doesn’t mean they will. It may seem a romantic gesture but unless you know someones tastes ordering your favourite meal for them may end in disaster, if they don’t like the food you enjoy they will ask themselves what else about you they are not compatible with.

5. Avoid getting drunk. Drinking should relax you, not make you sing the hedgehog song half naked on the bar!! This may go down well with your mates on a Friday night but is not a good impression on a first date. Pace your drinking and don’t be lulled into the false idea that eating while you drink will stop you getting drunk and making a total idiot of yourself.

PS … when dressing for a date check out your rear view, 3 inches of cotton knickers showing is really not attractive (check out the photo above).

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How to Ditch Them Nicely

When a relationship is over for you, it is over and no amount of begging or pleading can bring back that spark of passion or romance. Ditching someone nicely is the kind thing to do, we have all had a broken heart and it isn’t a fun experience.

That does not mean dropping subtle hints and hoping they get the message, be firm and direct but try to be honest and thoughtful.

4 Don’ts When You Ditch Someone

1. Don’t use tired old cliches like “we will still be friends” or “it’s not you it’s me”. Nobody is fooled by them and it does not help mend their hurt feelings or boost their ego.

2. Don’t be a coward and send a text message or email, this makes it easier for you but not for them. Your time together was intimate so make the break up intimate too, if you need to write down how you feel then make sure you are there when they read it and answer their questions honestly.

3. Do not start a fight in order to dump someone, again a cowardly trick which only makes things easier for you.

4. Be firm and stick to your guns, being talked into giving it one more try or taking the relationship a step further in order to “mend” the relationship is very unlikely to work. Guilt does not repair a relationship so unless during the ditching conversation you get a rush of new found love for your partner then giving in to their guilt is just going to prolong the agony.

4 Do’s When You Ditch Someone

1. Choose your time and place, at their parents wedding anniversary, out with friends or in the middle of a night of passion is NOT the right time or place. Go somewhere private and get to the point quickly.

2. Take responsibility for your emotions, if they are simply not ‘the one’ say so, be honest but not insulting. If your partners jealousy or flirtation is the reason for the break up then simply say so, give them the opportunity to not make the same mistake again.

3. Finish your current relationship before moving on to the next, do not try to find a replacement before you break up with your current partner. Being told you are simply not the one or I love you but am no longer in love with you is much easier for your partner to emotionally handle in the long run than “I have met someone new”.

4. Ditch your partner in a way you would like to be ditched, none of us would “like” to be ditched but if it has to happen consider what would cause you the least hurt and follow suit. Remember the good times you had together and respect that your partner has to move on with their lives as quickly and with the least amount of pain possible in these situations.

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