Are you being conned by an internet dating scammer? Read the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers to find out.
Almost every successful online dating scam follows a set pattern of behaviour.
Once scammers find something that works they will use it until people get wise to the scam and then move on to something new.
Unfortunately, as dating scams deal with our most basic instinct (the desire to love and be loved) this old trick is not running it’s course, it still works every day.
Here is the basic behavior pattern of an internet dating scammer, the psychology behind each step and the red flags to look for … learn to read the signs.
The Scammers Approach
They will send a short introductory message as soon as you or they join the site. They will often approach people 10 to 15 years older than they say they are.
They will very quickly (usually in the first one or two messages) want to move off the site and on to yahoo, msn or mobile texting.
If you agree to move off the dating site within 2 days they will remove their profile from that site and inform you they have done this because they know they have found the one they were looking for.
They will explain that English is not their first language so they are slow at typing (in actual fact they take so long to respond because they are also chatting to 4 other potential victims at the same time).
Red flag:
They want to get you off the dating site as quickly as possible .. ask yourself why?
Scammers Cover Story
This is just one cover story but it will give you an idea of how creative they are.
They will begin by telling you they are a business man or woman and are either currently doing contract work in an African country or they are in Europe at the moment but will be travelling to Africa on business soon.
They will usually say they are French, Belgian, Dutch, Italian or whatever because when you speak on the phone it can be difficult to tell what their accent is.
Together
They will chat to you daily and within a week they will tell you they are in love with you, they have been waiting for you all their life, they have dreamed of meeting someone like you and they can’t wait for you to be together.
They are perfect for you, almost too good to be true. Everything they tell you sounds like they read your profile and messages then invented their entire persona just for you (there’s a hint in there).
They will quickly talk of visiting you with a view to moving your relationship to the physical level and will talk of marriage.
Red Flag:
Too much, too soon, never met and nobody is that perfect for you. It’s one of the joys of relationships, we have to compromise and if someone is just “perfect” then you should smell a rat.
First Request For Money
This will usually come after 10 to 14 days of chatting daily and take one of four forms. The request will be in an amount from 1000 to 20000 UK pounds or US dollars (although sometimes much more), they will sound so embarrassed to have to ask you BUT:
- A medical emergency
- Victim of a crime.
- Visa money and flight money to come to be with you.
- A business deal is slipping through their fingers.
The medical emergency will take the form of needing to see a doctor because they are sick or must pay a hospital bill for either them or a close family member. They will say it’s only a loan, someone owes them money and as soon as they get it they will send it right back to you.
The crime will take the form of their wallet/passport/laptop/luggage has been stolen and they are stuck in Africa and need to get home (this may be coupled with the need to pay the hospital bill after the attack).
Of course they have to travel a few hundred miles to apply for the visa, then travel back for the interview and that’s expensive .. the fact that our embassies now accept initial online applications should warn you here. They also need flight money to come to see you, someone owes them money which they could use but they won’t get it back for a few weeks and they just can’t wait that long to be with you. As soon as they get their money back they will send you what they owe you. Others just say they can’t afford it and if you are to be together then can you pay for their flight.
A great deal came up and they have paid 200,000 plus for heavy machinery/gold/precious stones/etc but they are short 20,000. When they are back home they can sell it for more than double what they are paying for it. Their bank doesn’t have a branch over there so he/she can’t get the remaining money wired to them .. can you just help him/her out and they’ll split the profits with you when they get back and sell their purchases.
Please note that in any of these scenario’s if you say you can’t afford the amount they are asking for they will simply ask for less and try to get the remaining amount elsewhere … and yet they had to ask you, a total stranger, for the money.
Any money you send needs to be sent through Western Union.
Red Flags:
1. A business person that travels frequently and goes to Africa without medical insurance .. pull the other one.
2. If they’re a victim of crime why haven’t they gone to their Embassy for help, that’s what they’re there for and they WILL help in such circumstances.
3. They are so desperate to meet you but never suggest you go to meet them when they get back to their home country, just send them money and they’ll come to you.
4. A business person that can’t get to a bank there but was allowed to wander through customs with 200,000 in cash, which they just happened to be carrying in case they fancied a bite to eat .. I don’t think so!!
5. If the words Western Union and internet dating crop up in the same sentence run a mile.
If you Don’t Send Money
If you sound even slightly hesitant about sending money or say you simply can’t afford to, they will suddenly go into fits of remorse for even asking you .. you will get a tyrade of what a dreadful person they are and they will never forgive themselves for asking .. blah blah blah.
Once they are sure you feel really guilty and sorry for them, usually coupled with you saying you really want to help them but … they will start to ask for money again. Maybe you could just lend them a small part of what they need? Do you have a car you could sell?
Documentational Proof
In order to build trust and reassure you that you are not being scammed they will email you documentation to prove they are telling the truth and how much they need.
This may take the form of:
- A hospital bill and letter from a doctor explaining they can’t release his/her passport until the bill is paid.
- A police report detailing the crime and the value of what was stolen.
- A letter from a travel agent explaining the flight has been booked and they await x number of pounds/dollars to pay for the flight or even a copy of the flight booking confirmation.
- A receipt from the business they are buying from detailing their purchase and the amount outstanding. This will often state that if the outstanding amount is not paid he/she will lose the money already paid.
Red Flags:
All of these documents are written in English, even the police report .. how convenient, that means you can read them.
I could produce any of these documents in about 10 minutes with my laptop and photoshop.
You can book a flight online and print off the booking confirmation straight away, then cancel the booking. This is such an effective tool though psychologically because you “see” the flight they are coming on, so it can’t be a con … can it?
It’s all proof of nothing other than their ability to use a computer.
Second Request for Money
If you send any money for a flight it will quickly be followed by a second request.
The most popular of these is the Basic Travel Allowance (BTA).
This is where the psychology of the scam gets you in two ways.
Firstly it gets you emotionally, you desperately want to meet this perfect love of your life or you wouldn’t have sent the flight money (usually 2-3000). They sound so utterly disappointed when they tell you they went to get their visa and the embassy/government/travel agent explained they need BTA money in cash, 800-1000 pounds or dollars, which has to be shown at the departure desk.
Secondly you may begin to smell a rat but you’ve already sent a lot of money, so your brain will be desperately trying to convince you that you haven’t just been scammed (even though in your heart you know you have).
You may decide to cut your losses and break contact but many victims of scams try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the hopes of this person really being the love they are looking for and in the hope they haven’t just become the latest victim of a dating scammer.
Red Flags:
There is no such thing as BTA. Before sending any money for visa/passport/travel requirements check the internet, look at your embassy website and establish what is actually needed and what is just an attempt to part you from your hard earned cash.
I know this all makes it sound very “any idiot could work it out” and in the cold light of day they could but these people are very good at what they do and are very convincing.
Please learn the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers so you don’t become a victim.
July 4th, 2009 at 2:05 am
I really think that anyone who is using an online dating site should be aware of definite things to watch out for that surely identify an Online Dating Scam. I know from researching on he internet that the most identifiable Online Dating Scam is from Russian Ladies who ask men for money due to some stories that these Russian ladies have created to get money out of men. These women are usually found on more that one online dating site with different names and photos of themselves as well as different email addresses.
Definitely both men and women have to be aware of being scammed when it comes to online dating. Never should you give out personal information about yourself, especially your telephone number, address, net worth or your personal email address. If you are suspicious that you may be getting scammed by someone on an online dating website, it would be in your best interest to let the online dating site in question know so they may deal with this issue.
.-= Barry Ohman´s last blog ..Jul 3, Dating Resources. Online Dating Sites. =-.
July 5th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Hi Barry
You are so right about men being scammed by Russian women, I have a number of posts lined up about this subject.
Also great advice about contacting the internet dating website staff if you think you’re being scammed, we tend to have experience recognising these people and it is our responsibility to deal with them. If your dating site doesn’t respond to your concerns about possible scammers then it’s time to change dating websites.
July 4th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
this has happened to me ….i kept believeing him when he beggedme for money and he was good…knew just how to pull at my heart strings and when i got him a ticket to the states he needed BTA money and had a wreck on the way to airport ..needed more money then went to airport and was on the plane and they pulled him off because he used past work documents to come to states..he is still swearing his love for me although i have told him i can not send more money and says its not about money ….but..if i can just help him this one more time ……and as stupid as it sounds part of me still believes him
July 5th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Hi Joyce
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been scammed … but please STOP IT. Yes they are so convincing that you always ask yourself “what if they are genuine” but let’s be honest you know he isn’t genuine … for a start there is no such thing as BTA, so there’s a huge lie right there, without dissecting the rest of the story.
Please don’t let yourself get pulled in any deeper, I know how much you want to believe him but it’s much better to cut your losses and find someone genuine, who will really love you.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:16 am
This is great info it is unfortunate that people will take advantage of people and the internet is an easy target for scammers it provides them anonymity.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Panama City Personals =-.
August 1st, 2009 at 1:02 am
Scammed, Heart Broken & In Love with My Scammer
I met this person on true.com (let me say I did report him…but)
Joyce I totally understand where you are now in terms of feelings and emotions, because I’m there right now too. The sad part is when he told me he had a son with a nigeria woman a red flag did go up because six months earlier a friend told me someone she met online tried to scam her and was asking her to send money to him for his sick son in Africa, but I was already hooked by then. We started IM’ing each other right away, because that’s the way he wanted it. It seemed as if I was talking to a carbon copy of myself. We talked everyday for a month before he hit me with his sob story. I’m such a sap when it comes to sweet words and he was feeding them to me hot and heavy. He would write me the most heartfelt messages and emails. I even started emailing him from work because he was all I could think about. One day he called my computer from his computer and he song this song to me it was so beautiful…afterwards we talked a little more and then he had to take a call so he said….after waiting a while he comes back and states his mom is terrified, because his son had fallen sick and she has spent all the money he gave her for them while he was away working on a oil rig because he’s a Civil Engineer. As he was telling his sob story I got scared because I started thinking….crab this is a scammer, because everytime I would try to console him he would come up with an excuse…he would say “I’m doomed if any thing happens to my son”. I got offline with him and an hour later I sent him an offline and told him I thought he was a scammer and blah blah blah…well he did get upset, but we made up and a few days later I called him and he was upset about his son…I said I really don’t have the money and then he cried on the phone on me…(what was I to do he was so conviencing I ended up sending $500 to his supposely mother). We started back professing our love to one another again and emailing each other with intense love notes. His contract was up at the end of July and we would be free to come to me and send for his mom and son. Well through our courtship he would hit at me sending money to his mom, but he new how I felt about that so he wouldn’t ask me, but he always was having a headache or feeling sick because of his son’s condition. Well I blew up on him a few times about him being a scammer, but we always made up. I was falling deeper and deeper for him (I still am actually)..I started calling him my little sweet scammer. (how sick is that)…He had his supposely financial advisor send me an email with his account information and password so I could see his bank account…he stated he was rich and was just in a bad situation because he couldn’t get to his money since he was on a oil rig. So now he is supposely be in Warri Delta Nigeria living in the hotel his mom is staying at and visiting his sick son in the hospital. (They were actually living in the states before he went to the rig and sent his son to Africa to see his trifling mother…his own mother the boys grandmother went to protect the child)….Now he’s in Warri, but when he got there he was robbed of $10,000, but the robbers didn’t take his wallet with his passport and bank card and $600 dollars. His last few words to me was “if we are suppose to build a life together, you would help me with this”. My last words where “you are right, I do love you, I will try to get the $1500 so you can come to the states and get to your account to get the rest of the money to send for your family”. I have been stresse all week trying to get the money, I was going to even send my rent money to him. But today, I realized I can’t do this….I haven’t even met this man. I haven’t called him back to tell him I can’t get the money and I don’t know if I will call him. A part of me wants to help him, I’m just really torn right now, because after all I’ve read on the scam sites I’m still talking to this man and still want to help him. I’ve lost 22lbs and have stayed out from work because of stress and my blood pressure rising over this. I really want to believe that I have finally met the one, but the things he says and does makes me say this is a scam and then I think about the other things he has said to me and I fall all over again. I have been trying to find the pics he is using on the scam sites to let me know yes he’s a scammer, but I haven’t found anything. I’ve researched and researched his name, yahoo email and IM name and still nothing. He could be the person in the pics, but a scammer. I’ve just fallen so hard for this guy and having a hard taking letting go. Isn’t that pathetic…so Joyce I understand how you are feeling now.
August 6th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hi N Luv w
Oh deary me you are in deep aren’t you. You clearly know the person you are speaking to is a dating scammer but you are desperately trying to convince yourself that maybe, just maybe he’ll turn out to be the knight in shining armour you’ve been dreaming of.
HE ISN’T.
He is a scammer, a liar and a thief, he is telling the same things, that make you go weak at the knees, to countless women all over the world. The only interest he has in you is how much money he can get out of you. You may have actually been speaking to different people during your time chatting to him …. I am writing a post with some examples and an interview I did with an ex scammer.
You are NOT special to him. Yes he makes you feel special, I do understand that but as soon as you hang up the phone he is ringing the next number to repeat exactly the same words and sentiments.
They always use the “if we are build to a life together” line because you will immediately try to show you want a life with him so will send money.
PLEASE tell me you didn’t send him more money?
He will not stop until you break all contact with him COMPLETELY. Any attempt to tell him what a bad person he is or giving him a chance to explain will just draw you back in. The only answer is to delete his numbers and email accounts and stick a fork in your leg every time you get lonely and want to contact him.
We can only be victims if we allow ourselves to be … please don’t let yourself be a victim.
August 6th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I had somebody calling himself Tim Jefferson met him on a dating site, said he was a widower living in Calafornia with his 10 year old son, said he was due to go on a business trip to Ghana as he was exporting a large amount of luxury cars and limo’s over there, he was telling me all the things i ever wanted to hear really got into my emotions, he asked me to remove my details from the dating site which i did, i was the first person he had spoken to and he didnt want anybody else, he got to Ghana only for one of his bags to go missing, the one with his money,documents,sons ps3 and his laptop and son clothes, who puts all that sort of stuff in especially money in your luggage, then asked me if i was sending anything over for his birthday, said i would and he gave me a p.o box number needless to say i never sent anything, once this is all sorted he said he is going to come to me in the UK for us to start a new life together how i will be his sons Mom, now it turns out that he cant unload the cars as he has to pay a new tax he didnt know about, he needs $5.500, i told him i dont have that money so he has asked if i could get half or part of it, told him i would try, not that i will but part of me wants to believe he is genuine but i know from reading all of this he isnt, when he was talking to me on MSN a message came through from him in German when i asked him what it was he said it must be a virus, my daughter in law speaks German and she translated it and he is calling somebody else Darling asking for money to get out, assured me it wasnt him who sent it!! spoke to him this morning and he is still trying to get the money but then another german message comes through and yet again he said it wasnt him , translated it reads he is trying to get the money but she is resisting sending it. I presume that is me he is talking about, still declaring undying love for me the scumbag, i have a phone number and e-mail address if anybody is interested, these people have to be stopped, or these things need to be highlighted on t.v, he wont get any money out of me, the other things was the web cam first it was broken then he also had a new one which went missing in his luggage, i asked him to go to an internet cafe and here is the strange thing, he did but said he only had 1 min now he came on and it was the person on the pic i have but i didnt hear him speak and the picture was very grainy so dont know if it was a film he put in front of cam, i will play along with him for a while longer
August 6th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Hi Annette
Am so pleased you haven’t sent him any money and yes he sounds like a classic scammer. I know you desperately want to believe he isn’t because he is under your skin (the buggers are so good at saying all the right things), so you’ll look for any reason to believe him.
The webcam image is probably not him, I will post soon about the software they use to play video’s through their webcams …. they can even look like women this way.
It really is better not to play along with him, it’s time women started telling them we are wise to them and cutting them off (I can think of parts of them I’d like to cut off). If you do keep chatting to him let’s take bets on how long it is before his son gets sick and he has to pay hospital bills!!
Please can you post any details you have for this person just so other people can check people they are chatting to and if you want to forward the photo you have I will publish it on the blog … thanks.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
By the way Annette, just google “Tim Jefferson scam or scammer” and see what comes up, popular name with scammers it seems.
August 9th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Ladies, I too have fallen for such scams not once but twice. They are not who they say the are and they will never come to you. Please get away no matter how much it hurts to do so now, it will hurt much more later.
August 13th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
my name is coolie and i have never met them in person talk online for a while he presents his self as a civil engineer christian man says he has a son name dare but says he’s from the u.kbut in nigeria doing a project he knew all the things to say met him in july in a matter of weeks getting him tosays he wants to marry me.so i told my family they are angry because who is the man i want to marry.and i don’t no him and they havenot met him.to make matters worse i send him 800 u.s dollars to some man name smart johnson was the first time now he’s tellingme he needs 800.00dollars for a bta for the embassy in nigeria sohetold me.but to make a long story short he wants me to send it today the more i tell him i have no money the more he feels the need to ask long story short i have fallen for him but once bitten twice shy hell no i met him online and that’s where i’ll leave him i met him on tagged says his name is dave leonard and he’s from the u.k.i think person like this should be exposed.i have no problem with you printing this i’m from the bahamas.
August 22nd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I recently responded to a note from Antonio who was a widowed chemical engineer from California and did not look his age of 50. He said he was Italian and had a boy of 10 years of age. Over a week’s time he sent me lovely emails and had to go to Dubai then Africa for his business. All the time he wanted me to pray for him and he was a devoted Cristian man bla blah blah…. My red flag went up. Then he said he bought me a ring with our names on it (another red flag). He wanted to send me flowers. I talked with once, but had never met him. His accent was not that of an Itallian and he was coaxing me o buy him an iphone and fedex it to him. When i told him he required a contract, he said to get him the non contract phone after all the ring he bought me was well over 5 K. The second time I talked with him I had a friend listen to the conversation and there he was insistent on me sending him a phone. When I asked him for his address in California… I had a friend research it… it was a vacant forclosed home. Yes he was too good to be true, but I was too smart and recognized the stupidity of someone who I had not even met wanting to send me expensive and rather immature things. The fact that any man is in Africa should send up red flags to anyone. My BF of 3 years (57 years ) went there and fell for the suprstardom often given by the 20 year old prostitutes that desparately want their way out of the county. He is now sitting broke in a desolate country and probably will fall victim to aids or something worse. My trust level is so far down…
August 26th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Wonderful wonderful article. This is worth spreading to save people from all these types of scams. It is interesting to note that they are targeting the very basic human emotions such as love. They have built a career out of it.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:24 am
Glad you liked the article Wasim, I do hope it will save some people from these cockroaches in human form.
September 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
hi my sister recently met a man that after a search on google of his user name, i discovered he had many different profiles on various sites but what i am trying to find out now is, if there is a way to stop these con men or someway of reporting them to the police?
this was very useful and some of the red flag info was just how this guy works! thanks, WILLOW.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Hi Willow
Unfortunately the internet is not regulated by anyone so there is really no way to stop them at the moment, which is why it is so important to find the right dating site (ie one that is actively monitored by admin and scammers profiles removed).
Even if the person is in the same country as you, sending them money is seen as a gift/personal loan so the police really can’t do anything. The only time the police could get involved is if they offer something in return, eg sales of goods.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:15 am
This usually happens when you go to public chatrooms or dating sites and many people are still victimized at present. The article is very informative especially about the common patterns that these online scammers do. At first, they will try to play and win your emotions and they can really be convincing. They will try to earn your trust and suddenly you will be attached and believe in whatever they say. You begin trusting them until money is no longer an issue and you will keep sending them never knowing that you are already caught in their trap.
The most important thing to remember is to become vigilant when you are trying to interact with other people online. Don’t just go with a pretty face or the flowery words that anyone would make. Ok, you may ask: what if he or she was the one that I am looking and I let it slip away? The solution to that is knowing the person first. Knowing him or her doesn’t mean that you will rely on what they say or what you see in their profile. Knowing them means you have to investigate through their public records or any reliable information on the Internet. Online resources of checking someone’s background is very accessible now and you can do it in less than half an hour.
Safety and security must be your first priority especially when you are dealing with people online. Dishonesty and different kinds of fraudulent crimes are happening in the cyberworld everyday so just be careful.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Hi Engel
Thanks for your informative comment, you have pointed out a very important issue .. the fear of letting Mr/Miss Right get away.
I agree with your advice, trust nobody until you meet offline. If they are scared off because you ask too many questions or check out the things they tell you then you need to consider if that person really could be Mr or Miss Right, as the right person for you should have YOUR best interests at heart and would be happy to take time building trust.
A real red flag online is when the person you are chatting to online gets angry when you question their motives or information they tell you .. this is exactly how scammers behave, assuming their anger will make you back off (which it usually does).
September 24th, 2009 at 3:36 am
I think, you will know if your chat mate is only scamming or not. Its up for you to believe on his or her alibis. You’ll get scam if you are too naive. Don’t let this scammers fool your heart and make you their milking cow. Do not be too emotional. In due time, the right man or woman for you will come unexpectedly!
September 30th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
If only it were that simple Nicole, unfortunately if you get a clever scammer and are emotionally seeking real love then it’s just not so easy to see what they are doing.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:08 am
@ Nicole, Ive been on the end of an online dating scam and I can tell you from experience that its very very hard to tell the difference. The people that make these scams get lots of kicks out of doing it and are willing to write email after email and go the extra mile to really suck you in – its horrible and I know that I had no idea that it was going on.
.-= Ana @ Blue Topaz Rings´s last blog ..Blue Topaz Engagement Ring =-.
October 8th, 2009 at 12:28 am
Saw this beautiful woman on gumtree. She was asking for a man. Got chatting on private emails said she was an artist in Africa (Nigeria) and had gone there from uk as she imports/exports artwork. Emails got passionate said her name was Debby Williams. Told her my personal details and circumstances, but said she’d learn more when we were face to face. Has just sent me flight details of her return at Heathrow next week and wants my mobile to text me or says she will ring from a booth uploaded her pictures onto the anti scammers sites but no matches. I think this is a dangerous scam what shall I do?
October 14th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Hi Roger
Did you pay for the flight? If she paid for the flight then perhaps she is on the up but if you paid for it then I bet you £100 she has an emergency on the day “she” (if it is a she) is meant to travel and will then need more money to pay for a new flight or hospital or whatever.
October 8th, 2009 at 12:36 am
I have asked her to chat on webcam instead as I now believe its all a fraud, but note that the flight details she emailed me state that if the booking is cancelled then there is a 200 USD penalty, if thats the case maybe she IS going to come over and try and use my information to extract something from me or worse shall I go to the police?
One question she asked me was if I was living alone.
October 14th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Roger, have you spoken to her on webcam or phone yet? Neither means she is even a woman, as software can now show you a woman as if it is webcam and can change a mans voice to a womans.
There is nothing you can go to the police with yet, as I assume you invited her to visit you.
Did you arrange her visa or did she get it herself? If she arranged it (without money or papers from you) then she may be genuine and you have little to worry about but if you arranged it and/or paid for it then I suggest you cancel the trip now before she/he sucks you in any deeper.
October 17th, 2009 at 6:36 am
I have been scammed as well, Peter Jason Todd, peter.todd27@yahoo.com. Says he is an engineer, was in Scotland, now in London.. I have sent him money to get back to the US. The stupid thing is, he had a business in the states send me a check for $1500, which did clear my bank, supposed to be for a website he made for this company. I even checked out the company and called them to see if the person that signed the check worked there, they did, so I figured this was the real thing!! He has the money for the airline ticket, well of course the taxi had an accident on the way to the airport. His leg was injured of course! Then because he missed his flight and his passport was “stolen”, he needs this BTA insurance. I did not send it. I know how the lady above, Joyce, I think feels. You are in so deep financially that you think what the heck, he isnt lying to me. I know exactly how everyone feels, screwed over! This is one very expensive lesson learned!
October 18th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Hi Shannon
I am confused about the cheque you received. How much did you send him to get back to the States and did the cheque stay cleared? Usually they send a cheque which goes into your account and appears to be cleared but it can take over a month for the foreign bank to reject it, of course by then the victim thinks he is genuine and has sent him more money.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:08 am
Have anyone out there been conned by a scammer calling himself as GREGG COLLINS MITCH ?? His email is gregg_mitch or greg_collins ?? His story was that he lost his wife 5 years ago and now he is in Nigeria working as a civil engineer. He was robbed in Benin City OF $4000 AND ASK FOR MONEY TO BUY AIRTICKET TO FLY TO lAGOS SO HE COULD GET A PLANE TO LONDON !! hE SAID HE HAD A 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WITH HIM NOW IN lAGOS, AND ARE NOW KIDNAPPED BY MILITANT LEADER. THE LEADER ASKED FOR RANSOME MONEY OF US$5000 FOR THEIR RELEASE !!!can anybody share your story if there are any close similarities to my story here ???
October 25th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Hi Majory
I will bet my last pound that is certainly a scam, I have never heard such an unbelievable story, even by the worst scammers.
Almost all scammers are “civil engineers” and they are usually mugged or in an accident. They will send letters from hospital, the police and government officials … all are fake.
If he is British and he or his daughter or both were kidnapped then the government would be involved and he certainly wouldn’t be online asking virtual strangers to send money to help him.
Delete this person from your computer and DO NOT send any money, he is a scammer.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Let me tell you, if you only new how these men really looked you would be disgussed, sick to the stomach. Most of them are little boys. PLEASE RECGONIZE THE TRAITS OF A SCAMMER BEFORE YOU GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED. I don’t talk to any one any more on MESSENGER. If they aren’t in my city where we can meet in the next few days than I don’t conversate with them at all. STOP GIVING PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY OR EVEN IN ANTOHER STATE YOUR MESSENGER ID….TALK TO PEOPLE IN THE SAME CITY AS YOU AND GET THERE PHONE NUMBER. WHAT’S WRONG WITH GETTIING THERE PHONE NUMBER AND SETTING UP A DAY TO MEET THEM LIKE AT A STARBUCKS OR SMOOTIE PLACE…..I REPEAT STOP GIVING PEOPLE YOUR MESSENGER ID AND START GETTING PHONE NUMBERS FROM PEOPLE IN YOUR OWN CITY AND MEET WITH THEM….IF THEY ARE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY OR STATE OR CITY THEN YOU SHOULDN’T COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AT ALL. ….THIS IS THE WAY TO STOP ALL THIS SCAMMING STUFF IF PEOPLE WOULD JUST BE SMART ABOUT IT AND DATE PEOPLE IN THEIR ON FREAKING CITIES….WHY CHAT WITH SOMEONE ON YAHOO FOR DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS, THAT’S HOW YOU GET SCAMMED.
WAKE UP PEOPLE…THEY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Hi Scammed Once
Thanks for your useful comments. You are right, we can only be a victim if we allow ourselves to be.
I also agree, on so many levels, with the idea of being realistic about how far away you look for dates. Most of us aren’t going to jet around the world looking for Mr/Miss Right so look for a dating website which covers your area or only your country. Also look for a site which caters for your interests, this way you are more likely to meet a like minded person.
Also Stay away from dating on messenger services, these are a scammers paradise.
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:35 pm
I am ashamed to say I have also been caught by a scammer which involved me sending a lap top to Ghana. After finding this site I have managed to hold the goods at Fedex in Accra and have requested them to be returned to the uk but am still left with the hefty shipping costs. The scammer is still trying to contact me and I am hoping that whilst I still have hin on line I may be able to report it but I don’t know where to go, Can anyone help or advise me further asap !
December 16th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Hi Lynda
Great news that you found out in time and well done for stopping the shipment. There really is little you can do now except protect yourself from this person. The authorities over there are not particularly interested and our governments can do very little to stop it. You can google romance scam forums and list this persons email and any details you have for them, then when a new victim googles his details they have a chance of not getting caught out. Just dont accept any waffle from them, cut them out of your life totally and thank the Lord you found out before you got stung too badly.
January 1st, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Hi,
Have been chatting with someone calling themselves Philip Miller who i am convinced is a scammer. He claims to be an American soldier on a tour in Iraq. He is now supposedly become detained in ghana on his way to visit me in South Africa and needs me to send him money to pay the customs people. He has supposedly been there since December 16. I have numerous photos of ‘him’ in his uniform with his name on and in the company of other troops as well as photos of him in civilian clothes. Also have a few pictures of his daughter. All the photos have captions attached but if i ask questions about the events or others in the photos he doesnt answer or goes offline. Am definately not about to send him money or anything but am really worried that there is a real Philip Miller out there whose photos are being abused. How can i check this out?
Heidi
January 3rd, 2010 at 3:29 am
Hi Heidi
Oh dear Ghana again.
Not sure if the US army operates the same way the Brit army does but I can assure you that when you do get R&R (rest and recuperation period) from a war zone you are not allowed to jet around the world meeting girl/boyfriends. Even if you have finished your tour in the war zone you would be flown back to your country and released from there to go where you like.
Unfortunately these scams often work because of the average persons lack of knowledge of the workings of the military, hence people fall for the “they won’t pay me until I get back stateside”, I need to pay for a military satalite phone or hey yeah I’ll just jump on a plane from a war zone to visit you … sorry it just doesnt work that way.
What does he claim he was doing flying in to Ghana? It is about 3,500 miles and a 7 hour flight from Iraq to Ghana, then a further 4,500 miles and about 6 hours flying (total 13 hours and 8,000 miles) .. compare that to a direct flight Iraq to SA of just 4,600 miles and 9 hours. I could understand if he was changing flights in Egypt or Ethiopia but Ghana??!!
Not a surprise he has a lot of photo’s and very hard to check out, you will probably find that Philip Miller was a former victim of a dating scammer to whom he sent photos. If you have sent photo’s of yourself to this person then I’m afraid your photo’s will probably be used in a future scam, along with your name and nationality. This is probably why there are captions on the photos and he will not answer questions about them.
Scammers operate by taking your information and using it to earn the trust of their next victim. That victims details are then used on a future victim, etc, etc.
I’m afraid there is little you can do to protect the real Philip Miller, his details are now out there. If you are sure he is a scammer (I have little doubt he is) then please take time to google “report dating scammer” and leave his details so other potential victims searching for his name may get advanced warning.
If you are not totally sure he is a scammer please use the contact form at the top of this blog and give me as much detail as you can (contact details as well as information he has given you about him) and I will see if I can find anything out about him.
Sally
January 3rd, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Hi Sally,
Have sent as many details as i can to you on the ontact form.
Thanks,
Heidi
January 8th, 2010 at 4:00 am
I don’t understand how people can be so heartless and abuse someones trust like that just for a payday. I never knew that dating scams were so prevalent online. I’m not surprised though.
I also run a weight loss related site and I had gathered a list of over 500 different websites that were posing as fake blogs trying to get people to sign up for free trials of Acai berry and Colon Cleanser products.
Nothing really surprises me online anymore. Thanks for posting about the scammers, I’m sure you’ve saved a few people from being taken for a lot of money.
Steve
.-= Steve@Pay Off Credit Card Debt´s last blog ..The 3 Best Reasons To Use Cash =-.
January 10th, 2010 at 5:41 am
Hi Steve
I’ll be honest, I have looked at the Acai berry sites and was tempted to give it a try. It was only because I am so used to online scams that before I buy anything online now I google what I am looking for plus the word scam (Acai berry+scam) and read the results, has saved me a fortune over the last couple of years because I am naturally gullable.
January 23rd, 2010 at 6:43 pm
i met a guy 12 minutes away on bebo he sweet talked me after a year when i slipped up and told him i`d a policy due over 5 month he conned me out of £2,390,and i thought he was a friend he had so much bad luck deaths in his family friends his buisness went bust due to the recession he could`nt spend much time with me because of his familys bad luck stories he was probably busy with his other women he phones the odd time yet with a sob story he needs money and a great sob story i tell him no pay me back im never going to see it back,hes an ayrshire conman.
February 16th, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Hi Susie
You should always be wary of anyone you meet online who has an endless run of bad luck. Unless you meet someone face to face then its better not to let yourself get emotionally involved, even as friends.
February 11th, 2010 at 3:43 am
Hi there,
I read all of the above in search of thoughts that might be related to the issue of victims’ images and personal info being used for scamming others. What made me think about it was the fact that the gentleman on the picture the scammers used to lure me in looked pretty average and decent – he did not look glamorous or even sexy at all. Just a nice average trustworthy guy. I would bet that he might have become a victim of scammers himself. Imagine, how convenient for the criminals to use images of their victims to lure others – they can take advantage of the same person twice!
I have not become a victim of the scam per se (i.e., I did not loose any cash). I guess, I grew suspicios right at the time they moved on to the stage preceding requests for money. And so I decided to research a bit more on whether contact info I was provided with legit or not. Once that issue cleared negatively, and British phone numbers turned out to be related to forwarding services that reroute calls from UK to Africa, I got and idea of whom I had been dealing with and knew what I was going to do. So when I was approached with request to lend some money, I let him have it out of both barrels.
But do you have any idea on how to identify and warn the gentleman on the picture that was sent to me for scam purposes? I feel sorry for poor guy. Not sure if it will change anything for him or not, but at least it will make him aware of what his picture is being used for, and perhaps he could take some steps to warn dating sides or something…
Thanks!
February 16th, 2010 at 11:12 pm
Hi Grace
You can try using a reverse image search engine but to be honest it’s very difficult to find out where the picture originated. It could be a previous victim or it could just be pictures stolen from the internet (social networking site, blog, newspaper article, etc).
I’m really pleased you did the research before you got sucked in, well done. It does leave you feeling a little frustrated when you can’t warn innocent ‘victims’ but I’m afraid with the nature of the internet all you can do is protect No.1 and hope everyone else can take care of themselves.
February 22nd, 2010 at 7:05 pm
hi everyone hi sally this is getting so common now the magazines are full of it facebook has a page you can put details on and pictures,stuart or william or david he used different names i found out later my friends mans is friends with stuarts neighbour and a friend of mine lives in the next street so i was getting gossip he was a womaniser,hes so ordinary looking 5ft 7 or 8 fat belly specs blue eyes broken front tooth he hid his broken tooth he has so many illness`s ahh sympathy he did`nt like to tell people, he slipped up we were comeing back from glasgow he said he`d been in hairmyres hospital at christmas as in he was somewhere near glasgow at christmas he cooked me xmas dinner then his sister phoned suicidal her baby had died he had to rush to aberdeen,he was selling his flat council own it really fire dept checked his alarms council painted the entry he`d a council kitchen in he said it was great he put in lots of cupboards im thinking where his real house why did`nt i say it,then i`d to sell my house we`d buy a better house and sell both our cars he`d drop me at work and pick me up, i told him no way am i selling anything to joint with you my house is for my son last jan he proposed i said no way, i really would like to go to his house and take the things my money bought but he`s probably sold them he gave me plenty wee presents at first jewelery flowers teddys probably things his girlfriends gave him i`d get him a gift in return as im not a taker i hate to get something for nothing i guess iv never had a fella who`s genuine and nice well never really had much to do with dating guys ex was at school with me he turned into a right alky with the company he kept then the abuse started so i wasted 5 year with him till police put him out and courts banned him,all they years on my own and i met him he sucked me in im so mad at me believing him,
i give up on men now i`d pity any guy coming near me i tell them no im happy single i`d give them to hard a time stuarts put me back anyone need a chat find me in facebook forget the right name but searched on the word conned i`d love to hear from someone who knows stuart
March 1st, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Hi Susie
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and saddened that you have given up on men .. for the time being. There are plenty of good men out there looking for a nice woman to pamper but sometimes we do pick the duds.
The good news is now you are no longer trying to find a man you will probably find that a nice guy comes looking for you. Someone that is happy being single is often far more attractive than someone desperate to be in love.
Unfortunately people who have crisis after crisis are often simply looking for sympathy and attention. Of course we all have a run of bad luck sometimes but I’m sure we’ve all met someone who tells stories just to be the centre of attention and these people are best avoided.
March 10th, 2010 at 4:02 am
Hi just recently joined online dating @ match.com…one day after joining I received an email from Bossman4075 from Blairsville, Ga, or so he said..he quickly gave me his personal email address and we have corresponded back and forth since Feb. 23rd. HE quickly has some comparisons in his life to mine, a widower, a son 9 yrs old, a wife that died of cancer and he was a building contractor and was doing a project in Cairo,Egypt. He sent a set of questions about one’s self to be answered,then he answered his back, he started getting a little too mussy real fast, then there was an email to ask for my cell phone no., luckily I only have a pre-paid one, so I gave him the no., then began text messages, hey baby, missing you, etc. then he asks me to call him but I cannot get thru on the number & finally figure out it’s a number in Egypt. Then I ask him to call me, but he never does, claims he had a problem with his international number. Now he send U-tube songs and then generic letters that don’t say your name, just dear sweetheart..but I did catch on to that and also he was blocked from the website..I told him if he really wanted to connect to call me or send me a personal email..figured I blew him off..no such deal..he then sends a message asking for a favor, he cannot collect his money from his project,his bank won’t accept it and his financial advisor told him to get a broker but he needs me to send him $725 since he is short on cash until he gets his 715K ! Well I didn’t just fall off of a turnip truck…told him I didn’t know him, have never laid eyes on him and that I was not that hard up and gullible to let some charmer swindle me out of my hard earned money (which isn’t much). I should have stopped at my first instinct when he asked for my phone no.and wanted to converse on the phone..I was reluctant to even do that..but he seemed so charming and into me–well at least I had the good sense to listen to that little voice in my head and I didn’t get scammed but almost….such a shame that people are out there to prey on those of us that are looking for someone special to come into our lives. Remember the old saying “if it sounds too good to be true,it probably is” well that holds true in all things…trust your instincts,,,thank God I did. I did report him to the website but since he was blocked he might have already scammed some other ladies @ the same time he was trying to scam me and either he blocked or the website blocked him. Sad thing is there is a person who lives in Blairsville, GA with the same name as the scammer but he probably doesn’t have a clue! Me having an inquisitive nature, I did try to find out more about Thomas Earl Porter but found a Thomas J. Porter in the phone book and on google so thought it might be the real person but I know now that it wasn’t the same person and I do have a recorded message on my phone from the scammer (whose number was blocked on my caller ID) leaving me his telephone number to call and he did not sound like the 58 year old man from GA that was in his profile picture. Things are not what they seem holds true. So I have learned a lesson and hope I’ll meet someone genuine someday….we’ll see
May 3rd, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Hi Darlene
So pleased you caught on quickly and I hope you will find Mr Right real soon.
Always be suspicious if they immediately send you their email address and want to talk off the website. These people know what they are doing, we all fall for a nice compliment and as we join dating sites to meet someone it means we want to be loved … they just play to those emotions and unfortunately we can all fall for the feeling someone wants us, loves us and thinks we are beautiful and sexy.
April 15th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
It happened the same to me as I can read here, I falled of a scammer named Chris Johnson, he has an 6 ys. old son, is businessman in Lagos to make contracts and all his money he payed for the contract and he needed some to get the payment of his business, we wrote about mail, messenger and he called me and I mostly called back…he told me about his love and he needs to move to Germany to settle down…all things as here to read. I was so in love, he made me addicted from him, every day some mails, a chat or a call. He was with me as a shadow…he asked to help his son in USA, he was in a hospital to pay the doctor, he asked me for pay the fees for the contract and for the airplane ticket to come over here…I did, I told him he is a scammer, he promised me to give me all of my money back and he only want to come to me. He sent me a copy of a cashiercheck he only can cash in euro or dollar countries, so I recherched in the net and found out that all was a scam. He asked me to pay his BTA for travel to Germany and now I woke up…I lost my heart and all of my saved money, I was so brainwashed. I only cry and my ask is how can we come over this scammers? How we can find back the peace of mind? I try it all day, but I am so down, have about 160 mails, so full of love…oh I never got in all of my life. He came into my life about Myspace and soon he wanted that I delete my account, maybe not to find real friends who opens my eyes…Dear Sally thank you for your website, it helps me very much to read and I can understand that some of the women here still are in love…with their scammer. It is so terrible how they use our lifes to get only money and without any scruples…and they are real scam-artists. I was at police and at IC3.gov. too, but my money i dont get back…I know.
May 14th, 2010 at 9:25 am
Brilliant article Sally. Unfortunately this issue is spreading day by day while dating scammers numbers increase heavily. However, posts like this one deserve being “advertised” as much as possible to prevent future negative happenings.
Best regards!
.-= Bogdan @ Dating by county´s last blog ..Find a date in the county of Nottinghamshire =-.
May 17th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Hi Bogdan
Thanks for the compliment, it reminds me I must get round to writing those posts I planned on Russian dating scams.
May 28th, 2010 at 8:15 pm
I tried Yahoo personals and the only women who contacted me on the site at all were scammers. Scammers from the UK, scammers from Russia. Really sucked the fun out of online dating.
June 5th, 2010 at 1:34 am
Beware of online dating, the majority of woman from Russia,Ukraine, UK,and other country are
born insane. Similar to the originator of the new world order,and the
followers of adolf hitler
June 6th, 2010 at 1:54 am
Good lord James you must have had a bad one. I am from the UK and would hate anyone to suggest I am a follower of Hitler.
I hope your opinion of women changes when the hurt subsides.
June 5th, 2010 at 5:33 am
Hi Sally
Me again, it is too bad that I did not know about this site before, as you are describing exactly what happened to me, everything you describe from the beginning until where you say about asking money, happened to me with Colllins Clemente but it was my first time on a dating website and I did not know this kind of people where out there playing with other people´s feelings just for money. His profile seem to me a a normal profile and his pictures also, a 51 year old man who was supposed to live in England, Manchester, divorced and widow with a 12 year old daughter. What was strange is that it seem to be a millionare businessman as he sent me a “supposed contract to buy art in Africa for a very important client, it was s 1.300.000.000 euro contract and after that the bank account so that I wired money to my account and then send him cash with western union. I am pasting here his profile for you to check (i must say that what he wrote at his profile is more or less what i would like from a man and very similar to my own profile, so i did not see anything extrange here.
I consider myself to be intelligent, respectful and kind, while possessing a good sense of humor as well. I am an honest person, looking for the same in a woman.Integrity and sincerity are very important qualities to me.I like a woman who is sure of herself but humble,not afraid to let someone know the real person inside.I have always been a little shy,but given the right person and situation,I love to be spontaneous,and immensely enjoy someone who can bring out the best in me!I enjoy doing most anything fun, including traveling and experiencing new places near and far. I love being active by riding bikes,paiting at my gallery,playing basketball,bowling, etc…I’m a giving person and get along with almost anyone. I’m a hard working, very stable,family oriented man, who enjoys all that there is in life and I’m always optimistic that tomorrow will be even better than today.I have a daughter who is 12years old and we are very close.I am a man looking for a special lady to share conversation and fun times with being friends first,
and seeing where it may lead us.I am not looking for perfection, but I am looking for someone who is genuine and true to themselves.I am also looking for someone who is intelligent, and confident.
for fun:
I enjoy travel, dining, movies, the outdoors, the beach, museums and most sports.
favorite hot spots:
Dining out?Any place with better cusine than I do.Travel? My first choice is anywhere with sand, sun & salt water but make a suggestion,I’m ready & willing!
favorite things:
I love animals and nature in general and enjoy the special feeling of walking in the woods or on the beach on a nice day.
June 6th, 2010 at 1:59 am
Hi Sony
The problem is when you join an online dating site you are excited .. maybe this place will hold the answer to your dreams … so you don’t go to the help pages and learn about scammers or how to be safe online. I watch the statistics on my website and can tell you that only 2% of new members click the link in my welcome email to the dating safety pages. It doesn’t help that 90% of the internet is full of rubbish and designed just to build links. Until search engines change the way they work to get rid of a lot of that dross people will always struggle to find good information.
June 6th, 2010 at 2:14 am
Thanks Sally
You are right. I am really happy to have found your website, it is actually the only website I have ever found to help people get rid from scammers. Again, I never thought there were these people. I knew there were people trying to get your money from fake business as I have gotten request for electronic tickets to be paid with credit cards and I know credit cards would be stollen without even asking for information so I just dont answer them, but i did not know there were also people triying to get your money with fake profiles on the dating sites. It is too bad as you normally get involved and think the other operson is trustworthy and sincere as you are.
Anyway, I am so happy to have had this bad experience as I learned from it and I did not loose any money, besides this, I am helping other people from being scammed.
Thanks again, an dI have all his messages in case you want to post them just let me know and i will send one by one.
June 6th, 2010 at 4:47 am
Hi Sony
I have just posted about the things I found in the “legal contract” so I hope it will help others.
I’m afraid there is fraud in every walk of life, anywhere people can make money there are also scammers, whether that is dating, pensions or even charities. It is sad and of course the internet makes it so much easier for these people but with people like us around hopefully we can educate others on what to look out for.
June 6th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
It is correct Sally!! There is fraud everwhere. You can´t imagine how many email requests i get for electronic tickets or hotel bookings and I know from the first moment they ae fake as they start saying they would like to pay with credit card even without asking for amounts to be paid, etc. I am very used to this kind of fraud and now I now i have lots of experience for dating scammers also. Sometimes it is good to have such experiences at least once, otherwise you will never know that people like this exist. I have always thought that even though I have invested my feelings, if I find out that the person is just trying to get advantage of me in anyway, money, contacts, etc. I am not interested to take the relationship to a second level. And it may also happen in your own country. Actually before having my profile in match.com I had it on another site baboo.com where i was contacted mainly by people form my country, then i got one who looked like a very nice guy, we actually met and started a friendship relationship which was taking a kind of “commertial relationship” then he asked me to borrow money from me to help in for his business as he was having a difficult situation. I am not thinking he wanted to steal my money but i did not like at all his behavior as we only had 2 weeks of knowing each other as friends and planning to start someday a love relationship, so i said to myself…if he is asking me now this kind of favour, what will he ask later when we are a couple?? After this I got the contact from match with collins and you know the story…. so despite these 2 stories, i am still trusting i can find someone different. I think the lesson learned here is that you can not say how much you have or you can not look like a very good businnessman, economic independent, as people may want to take advantage of this I an not rich but i havve a good life which i built myself with hard work and i am not planing to let anybody take advantage of it. I actually feel good alone and I am happy but i would give myself the opportunity to find someone that deserves me but I am not desperate.
June 30th, 2010 at 12:34 am
Hi Sally,
Regarding the comment from Sony, June 6, 2010, her scammer man types very similar to my scammer. Is there anyway, she can contact me and we can compare notes? My guy said he was widowed and had 12 year old twins (a boy and a girl). Also said he just retired from the Australian Defense Force, yet he had an accent that was very hard to understand, not Australian or English. Said he had grown up in Europe, yet it was not like one I ever heard. Maybe he was African? He also played basketball. His photos were good looking – really cute white guy with rugged looks, the photos weren’t professional. I often wondered if the person I was chatting and talking to the phone with was a different person than the man in the photographs. I sent him money a couple times, but refused the last time he asked. He was in touch less and less after that. Can’t believe I fell for this guy.
July 14th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I was chatting with a girl who called herself Lucy Benson. She said she was from Chicago but was in Nigeria working for UNICEF. She wanted me to make a donation to the children there and gave me the address. A few days later she said she was robbed at gun point along with everyone else in the hotel by nigerian militants. She said UNICEF helped her with some money but wanted me to send some too. She got very angry when I said she sounded like a scam. She said she was supposed to be in Chicago for good on july 17th but needed BTA money. I looked up BTA and read about the scam. My heart was a little broken cause man those pictures were fine! Someone out there really has a girlfriend that pretty but its not me. I quess that is what really upsets me.
July 15th, 2010 at 11:43 pm
Hi Phillip
They use photos from model agency websites, so I’m afraid the money you sent certainly didn’t go to the woman in the picture. Always be sceptical of photos of gorgeous people on dating websites … how many women have you met that look that “fine” and don’t have a string of men chasing them?
Be realistic when you look on dating sites, you know what they say .. if it looks too good to be true then it probably is!!
July 31st, 2010 at 3:27 am
Yeah, it appears right now I have been scammed. Supposely, a 33 year old from Accra, Ghana sweet talked me to death. She did not ask me anything at the beginning but later questions and answers progressed. I have to admit, “she got me”. What they do is learn your weakness as soon as they. Send you additonal pictures just to get you excited…..again that worked. I am so naive, darn. She said that she wanted to be with me forever last. Right, that’s when I really started to pick up on the scam. Eventually, I requested additional pictures. She said I don’t have any money to buy a camera….I only make $80 a month. Well stupid me decided to buy a camera and send it to her. I was lucky. The cost to ship the camera was $260, hence the camera only cost $80. Now, we Americans are not that dumb. lol So I guess the chat stops here. Well anyway for the most part she took me for a ride….what I waste of time.
August 1st, 2010 at 4:28 am
Hi Charles
There is no need to feel naive or stupid, these things are always easy to spot when you are standing on the outside but when it’s you and your keyboard on a lonely night these people feel like the answer to all your prayers. They are good at what they do and better people than us have been conned.
Learn a lesson, if it seems too good to be true … it usually is. You will not make the same mistake again, so it was $260 well spent to learn the lesson.
August 6th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I have been talking to this man everyday for a month. He has offered advice, discussed politics and general fun conversations. I hit a financial blip and he offered to send me $10000 to help me. I told him I dont’ want his money but he wanted to do it so I said we could draw up a contract and use paypal. Anyway, I said that to try to “flush” him out and see who he truly is. The following day I receive an email. This is the second of those emails because his first was so confusing. He has NOT asked me for money but I need advice to see if any of it sounds familiar or if it makes sense. Thanks! ::
“You know this tax issue is complicated, let me try and explain it to you a little… my company is registered in U.K but I do not have an office address in the U.K or anywhere else because that I am still working with Halliburton and having a working address, staffs and company structure will be a direct violation of my employment agreement with Halliburton and that will make me to loss my retirement benefits which now runs into millions of dollars and going by that I will retire in 2013 from Halliburton I just have to hold on for some more time before I come out open with my company… so now I have been living in the U.S since the past one year and have never stepped my foot into London other than last few weeks when I came down for the this contract which means that my company has been completely dormant for a year and that means that I have had zero income and thereby I am not liable to pay for income tax since I have already paid for my yearly operational tax which is mandatory for every company whether operational or not and so after I won the contract the government just charged me for tax evasion for not paying my income tax… this is unusual because no one will pay income tax when the company has had zero income since the past one year due to their dormancy in operation and also going by that I have not dotted the last part of the contract with SHELL yet which was why I was in Oman to cost the project and then give my bill quotation to SHELL logically I should be totally exempted from the tax till I sign the financial part of the contract but my lawyer said that since the law states that for a company that has had a dormant operation within a year to come back to start operation that they will have to pay a sum of £10,000.00 before resuming operation, so my crime was that I was suppose to pay the £10,000.00 dormancy fee before submitted my proposal but you know it is just flimsy since I am still in the process of agitating for the contract and so this is where my argument lies… SHELL cannot continue association with me since I have a case with eth government, and SHELL also will come in court on Friday with me as the third party offender for not doing there background checks well before giving me the contract…and so now all I need from the SHELL lawyers that will come to court on Friday is just for them to say the truth because if they try to exempt themselves totally from me, I may have problems.. the truth being that they checked my tax status and it was updated going by that I have paid for my operational tax but since my companies income for the last year under review was zero that they thought my income tax will start to count as at when I sign the contract with them and that we are still in the preliminary stage of signing the contract at the moment and so that they thought it was not important yet…”
Babe I know it is a little confusing and you know the British laws are different from the American laws, but I believe that it is pretty simple if you will cool down and read my first email and this one carefully since I have tried to explain the situation to you to the best of my knowledge… you know the worst thing abt this situation is that I have only but one bank account and I do not have a bank account in the U.S since my bank in UK the Natwest Bank makes it that I can write a check I withdraw money from any bank in the world within 5 minutes, so going by this very flexible banking service that I have with my bank I saw no need to have any other bank account, so my house in California and everything I have in the world is finances by my bank which is Natwest bank and so at the moment my account and asset is frozen and all which is under the finance of my one bank… I just feel like this biggest fool in the world now by putting all my eggs in one basket”
August 9th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
Hi Becky
SCAMMER.
Allow me to give you some hints:
because that I am .. since the past one year – grammatically incorrect and many more examples the above drivel.
staffs – uses inappropriate plurals
my company is registered in U.K but I do not have an office address in the U.K or anywhere else – zero understanding of what it takes to register a company in the UK.
I have already paid for my yearly operational tax which is mandatory for every company whether operational or not – Rubbish
Only one bank account but runs his own registered company and works for an employer – doesn’t understand the British banking system.
You get the drift?
My guess is you are being set up for a money transfer. This is where they send you a cheque (check in American) or bankers draft. You then put this into your account, which will soon show as a deposit. You then withdraw the money from your account and send it to him. After a few days/weeks your bank catch up to the fact that is is a fake money order/check/bank draft and they demand the money back from you and inform the police you have been defrauding the bank.
The emails are simply to muddy the water, so he can always say “but Babe I explained it to you in my emails and you still don’t understand”. He then finds a way to send you £50,000 and you get to keep the £10,000 you need and send the other £40,000 to him … hey everyone is happy!!!
If you need any of the above explained in detail please use the Ask a Dating Question link at the top of the blog and drop me an email … I try not to teach them too much through this blog.
August 21st, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I think I can count myself one of the luckier ones. Just walked away from someone posing as Amanda Stanton on AYI and found out later she had the same picture with the name Lizzy van Thomas posted on the same site. One’s from Michigan and the other one’s from New Mexico. The photos were beautiful and they know which bottons to push. My first red flag was the way the sentences were formed in the emails. They did not sound like they’re from someone who went to college in the States. Still I continued with the online chat until yesterday when they asked for money. Not much, just 1000BP tax surcharge to get their consignment through customs. The next flag was when she told me she’s never encountered additional charges for customs and she doesn’t have credit cards. Then additional flags went up as I checked on her background: She was listed in the yellow pages but then directory assistance shows that there’s noone by that name is living at the address listed. To make the story short. I told her I’m ending the relationship and walked away. Here’s a suggestion to all: use a different email address when you’re involved with online dating than the one you typically use to do all your online transactions. And if it’s too good to be true, it usually is. Thanks for letting me vent.
October 3rd, 2010 at 1:55 am
4 girls, very nice, “too nice to be true girls” tried my this week only. The last one… still chatting with her a few minutes ago… From UK ! But initially having a local profile…
Man! she is nice and perfect !!
She “booked” a flight ticket today to come and see me in Montreal, Canada after… a week or two of chatting. An then “had a little problem”, asking for “PASSENGER TRAVELLING ALLOWANCE or BASIC TRAVELLING ALLOWANCE” of 600$ USD. I always keep some doubts, but this one almost got me. She even called me today !
Now, we will chat tomorow…
But… I got her Address, her passport, her birth document and an “Official document” asking for the Allowance to be proven. The passport looks forged even if you were blind ! The rest, looks real.
What else is new under the sun ?
I’m a smart guy, looking for a good girl… very desapointing.
Be on your guards, guys !
MArc from Montreal, Canada
October 3rd, 2010 at 3:01 am
Hi Marc
What country is she from? (as if I need to ask).
My guess is the birth certificate is fake and certainly the official looking document is fake.
If the look too nice to be true then you can bet your last dollar they are.
October 3rd, 2010 at 3:32 am
Hello Sally,
UK – With a Yahoo.UK Account.
The passport is easy to spot, as the headers are faint blue and the information is bold, black and clean ! Photoshop Job.
I’ve made a fraud alert on a online UK site.
Thanks Sally !
October 3rd, 2010 at 5:05 am
OMG! I am in touch right now with someone who claims to be American full time businessman and who is dealing with Palm Oil importation, its just been a month and he has already asked me for money to help him. The warning signs fit him well, he said he was never in Asia but wanted to meet me, but instead of flying here first he decides to go to Malaysia where he wants to get his deal for palm oil finalised and now is saying he does not have sufficient funds to pay the customs and is now asking me to help him with USD5000 so that he can fly to Nepal to meet me by this weekend. His initial request was USD12,000 and the amount has reduced when I told him that I don’t have such an amount. I like a fool was believing him but since the last two days I’ve been wondering why a businessman from US needs money from a woman from a poor country and the amounts has been increasing by the day. This is his third request for money. I am so glad that I came across this site that has opened my eyes. I will immediately stop responding to this man who claims to be an American citizen but is half Italian and half Irish living in Cincinnati, Ohio. We have not spoken on the phone yet as I had claimed to be good at placing accents so we have only chat on yahoo. The previous scammer found me on skype, the sites mention scammers on facebook, yahoo and msn but I warn you that they also get you on skype.
I have requested to see this man on the webcam and each time he tries to show himself the other side is black and he says thats whats been happening to his cam (I did not believe it).
PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME THAT NOT ALL WHO IS ONLINE IS A SCAMMER BECAUSE I BELIEVE THERE ARE REAL PEOPLE LIKE ME TOO.
I have been scammed before big time through blackmailing by a bunch of African men and women and the man who initiated the scam claimed to be a colonel from the British military working with the intelligence unit so his identity needed to be safeguarded!!! but the minute I spoke to him, I knew he was African (Nigerian) and these people know how to trap you in a position that is beyond so called ‘Love and dating’ they trap you with criminal blackmailing intent. I also want to inform through this posting that these two scams are coming from Malaysia and their network is worldwide. The last group operated from 3 countries – India, Malaysia and UK (all part of the same group) and mind you there are men and women working together.
From the experience I had, its obvious that they have highly trained and skilled scammers working on educated and less educated people. Vulnerable and non vulnerable people – I also want to warn you that these frausters also have excellent English language skills and they use local jargons making it difficult to identify a scammer from a real one.
I am now convinced that this person I am communicating with is a scammer. I already parted with USD6,000 and now he wants 5,000 more!!! Scammers are scammers but I feel like a fool!! I was ashamed to share this experience but now I realise that if I dont tell my experience there will be many more innocent victims.
I would like to indicate that those who have been scammed should not think they are fools because you have been victimised so you must not hesitate to tell your story to help a potential fellow victim. These fraudsters are getting smarter by the day.
October 5th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Hi Sunny
I can assure the internet is full of nice people like you, you just have to know where to meet them. Someone that just pops up in your chat window is not likely to be a nice person, they are spending their time trawling for strangers which is not a good sign of how someone spends their time.
I’m glad you found us and I’m so sorry you have lost $6,000.
If I asked you to lend me $6,000 I am absolutely sure you would say no because you don’t know me. The problem people have is that scammers make you feel as though you know them by talking to you in an intimate way (words of love, calling you their wife, speaking of their children like you are their parent, etc).
What you need to do now is share your story with bloggers from your country so they can write about these scammers in your language and stop other women losing money. You are welcome to take inform ation from here and translate it for blogs in your country.
October 6th, 2010 at 12:37 am
Hello Sunny,
Look… we are “too good” people in America and Canada. Would you ask a new date, online, to help you if you needed money ?
Of course not !
I’m sorry baby, you got another one…
Maybe we should start a dating agency right here !
Marc, From Montreal, Canada
October 6th, 2010 at 5:10 am
Thank you Sally, in all honesty how can I be a fool to be scammed twice and my god I always think I’m not desparate for a relationship but look whats happened!!! fooled again and this man who has dropped his price from 12,000 to 5,000 is now saying 2,000 will do to close his deal!!! I have deleted him, just that I wonder whose photos this guy is using, if only the person could be warned.
October 6th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Sunny you don’t have to be desperate for a relationship to fall for a scam. We all want to be loved, that doesn’t mean you are desperate to get married next week, it just means you would like to be loved, have someone who cares about you and you can discuss your thoughts and feelings with … it’s perfectly natural.
There is no way to know who’s photo’s he is using, they take them from websites or use photo’s other scam victims have sent them. Even if we could trace the owner of the photo’s there is nothing they could do about it.
October 6th, 2010 at 5:20 am
Hey Marc,
Yes I guess I got another scammer but now thinking about it, I have the feeling that I may be talking to the same scammers who got me first, he used the expression ‘come again’ when we use ‘pardon?’ thought this was a little strange. He uses present tense for past experiences. Gosh how frustrated I am now!
I want to think that the world has more good people than those handful of evil men and women. Oh by the way, I saw that Sally says if the men and women look good then it is a scam but recently I tried to upload my photo, it was rejected!!! why because I was wearing a nice party wear?
Oh yes I feel secure only here now… to go to another site is making me feel totally unsure.
Cheers Sunny
October 6th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Hi Sunny
A photo might be rejected because of file size, the name of the file or the website might have a policy of not accept photo’s with children in or if you were in traditional costume they probably thought it was stolen from a website, there are so many reasons.
Scammers will often share your details with others, particularly once they know they have been caught out or they simply contact you and pretend to be someone else.
Of course you will be worried about joining another dating website after your experiences but there are some genuinely nice men out there on the net looking for a nice woman to settle down with, you just have to be smart in finding them.
If you use the Ask a Dating Question link at the very top of this page and send a message saying who you are we can talk on my private email and I’ll see if I can point you in the right direction.
October 6th, 2010 at 5:29 am
Hi Sally,
I think posting my experience here is more relevant because these crooks are international gangs working on women from different countries at the same time.
Well the scammers can try the Nepalese women who mostly don’t have their own source of income and are too poor or uneducated to be on the net like some dumber women like me who claim to be the .2% well groomed and educated. So circulating news here in local language won’t help, its the educated and financially independent women who are being robbed. However, I will check to see how I can warn women like me here too, thank you for the suggestion.
I realise that the scammers are getting smarter by the day, just like those online hackers and MS and big companies run around to rescue users from hackers.
October 6th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Hi Sally,
I want to thank you for being such a wonderful mentor. I am amazed at how you respond spontaneously… your dedication is amazing and I feel very lucky to have met you here, I cannot be more grateful. You are a wonderful woman and I would like to say that I respect and applaud for the time you have given to people like me who have suffered in the hands of those heartless thugs.
Sunny
October 6th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Thank you so much for your kind words Sunny.
I was never a victim of this type of scammer but I do know what it’s like to be scammed and if I can spend a little time to stop one person having their hard earned money conned out of them or help one person recover from a scam then it will all be worth it.
I’m an old romantic, I believe there is someone out there for everyone but in these days of technology we just have to be smart in our search for them.
October 23rd, 2010 at 6:13 pm
I have been scammed for a lot of money by a man calling himself Micheal Bleecker..widower, engineer, one daughter Mallorey. I fell for his wonderful words hook line and sinker. He sent me a copy of ‘his’ passport, address in Oregon, address where he was supposedly working in Spain, flight confirmation, photos of him and his daughter, photos of work site. All checked out as far as I could tell.Sadly I realised he was too good to be true and on enquiry to Match.com was told his profile had been removed by the moderation dept as his identity was under question. He even had a plausible excuse for that. Spoke to him often by phone. I still find it hard to accept this person is not real as i gave so much! Does anyone tell the truth anymore?!
Carole
October 25th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I have met this beautiful woman on the internet, all and everything i a reading here from all you peaple is happening now to me,and i am in love with here and have here passport and adress and just dont know if it is a scamming or not. HELP MY EMAIL ADRESS IS: ***********
October 27th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Dealt with your problem by email Roelf and I’m so sorry she turned out to be a scammer.
October 27th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Hi Carole,
Thats what they are trained to do…. to drain you off of your money and leave you emotionally wrecked. I don’t know how much you have told him about your earnings or savings but the scammers will stick to you till you are bone dry. Mind you when you have been scammed once… the others will try to contact you to scam again. I am speaking out of experience as I too was badly scammed and another tried to scam again.
Take care Sunny
October 30th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Thank you Sally. I was online looking for away to check a UK passport. Unfortunately, too late. I read your letters and I have been scammed. He did everything the way you said a scammer works. I feel for it. Never before and never again. I have all my receipts and all chats saved. What do I do next? I have a passport and a FIFA certificate with his name on it. My friends all told me this can be made in two minutes online. I know see that I was scammed but out of the money. What can I do at this point?
November 1st, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Sorry to hear that Jill. I’m afraid the honest answer is there is really nothing you can do nowe. I can make a fake passport and fake documents in photoshop in about 10 minutes, so you have no way of finding who this person is and the authorities will not get involved because it would cost a fortune to try to get back your money and the authorities in his country are unlikely to arrest him for stealing as corruption is rife there.
All you can do now is accept he conned you and move on. It’s easy to become bitter and twisted about the what if’s and whether you should have noticed something wrong but it’s pointless, what’s done is done and the only person you will make unhappy is yourself. Try to just put it in the past, learn the lesson and look for a real man who can offer you the love you deserve.