Here we offer information about how to stay safe when online dating and how to get the most out of an online dating site. It's worth taking five minutes to read through this information if you are serious about finding someone to date. If you need further help with online dating questions visit our online dating tips blog.

Visit the how the site works page if your questions are about the Country Couples website.

Scroll over green text to see where answers can be revealed.

Need ideas?

If you are stuck for ideas on how to win someone's heart or where to go for an interesting date, we have included plenty of links to help you. After you have read our help and advice section, simply check out these useful links to see where to get  ecards, flowers, romantic days out, etc. Clicking on the Myths text will reveal further information.

Myths About Online Dating

Let us deal with a few myths about online dating:

• Myth 1 - online dating is for sad, desperate losers. Wrong!

  Millions of people now date online, it is a great way of widening your horizons. We in the countryside are all too aware of the limitations of potential partners at the local pub or village hall. You will find many intelligent, professional people now join online dating sites.

• Myth 2 - better to meet quickly, if there is no chemistry you can move on to continue your search. Wrong!

  Search the net at the success stories on dating sites, how many say we chatted online for months, then on the phone and eventually meeting? They are success stories for a reason. The best, long-lasting relationships are between people who are friends, no matter how they meet. Yes, chemistry is important but so is finding someone who shares your values, interests and ambitions.

• Myth 3 - everyone on the net are 'players' (ie just after one thing). Wrong!

  Whilst there are players online they are quite easy to spot. They are generally the ones that want to flirt like mad, don't really try to get to know you and want to meet this weekend. Remember that how you behave can encourage these people, so think about what you are saying and whether that is the "message" you really are intending to send.

• Myth 4 - you can fall in love with an online stranger. Wrong!

  You can certainly find a potential partner but no amount of chatting, even on webcam will take away that feeling of meeting a stranger on the first date. So don't let yourself get carried away, love blossoms over time and certainly requires a meeting to determine if the chemistry is there.

• Myth 5 - long distance relationships can't work. Wrong!

  It would be great if our ideal partner lived next door but realistically if they did, we wouldn't be online. Keep your options open, don't always reject people because they live in another area. Long distance relationships take effort and aren't for everyone but for that special someone, it is worth the trouble.

• Myth 6 - online dating sites are full of married people looking for flings. Wrong!

  This does happen and we have no method to ensure it doesn't. Luckily these people tend to register with free adult content sites, rather than sites which will show Country Couples Dating on their credit card statement. However be wary, watch out for people that only communicate at certain times of day (ie during work hours or very late at night only) and only during the working week. When you begin to talk on the phone, call at different times of day and at weekends. Watch out for patterns, do they always answer quickly during the week but always call back after a couple of hours in the evenings and weekends? This pattern could be an indicator of something amiss.

Top Tips

Here are six top tips for successful online dating:

1. Put a photo on your profile, we cannot say this often enough as it really does make all the difference. Surveys have shown that profiles with photos are up to 10 times more successful than those without.
2. Be honest, nobody likes a liar. We all look more attractive in our younger years but putting an old photo up or fibbing about our age is just delaying the inevitable, not avoiding it. Once that trust is broken, you can never get it back. Luckily we are all attracted to different types of people. Personally I prefer a round tummy to a six pack, so not everyone is looking for a movie star.
3. Don't play games. I was once asked to go on a site and pose as a potential date for a man my friend was very keen on but she wanted to see if he would arrange to go out with me. Against my better judgement I did and of course it ended in tears, which was a shame because they seemed to be made for each other. He was an intelligent man and soon sussed us out. The trust was broken and she never heard from him again.
4. Be positive and happy. Not always easy when you are having a bad day but think of Country Couples as your haven, your little holiday island you can visit to relax. People are more attracted to a happy, upbeat personality.
5. Take it slowly. Don't rush into meeting people you just 'met'. You may be desperate to find out if there is chemistry between you or not but getting to know each other a little first makes that first date more relaxing and therefore more likely to succeed.
6. Flirt but don't go overboard. When all you have to build a relationship on is a photo and some emails, it is very tempting to go too far with flirting. Telling someone what you want to do to them when you first meet can be very exciting but that just turns to utter embarrassment on a first date. No matter how well you feel you know, or even 'love' each other, that all comes crashing down when the nerves of meeting what is essentially a stranger kick in.

Safety First

We cannot urge you enough to be aware of your safety. Thousands of people every year meet their new partner online, so we don't want to scare you off, just make you aware of some of the safety and security issues. Before we begin, if you have children please be aware they have a right to privacy too. Mention that you have children but it is better not to state their gender or ages on your profile.

What we do to ensure your safety:

• Profile Screening

  Each Member has to apply for membership, so you can be sure that a real person has checked every profile. Profiles can be edited once a Member has been accepted but we do randomly check profiles. If you see a profile with inappropriate content please report this to Admin.

• Scams

  Our site is for UK residents only, we have therefore blocked IP addresses from certain countries known for scamming on internet dating sites. If any member receives a scam email (asking for money or giving links to other sites) please report this immediately.

• Block Facility

  We have provided a block facility that will ensure any Member that you block is not able to have further contact with you.

• Member Reporting

  We take abuse of our site very seriously and have reserved the right to cancel the membership of any Member found to be abusing our website. If you believe that a previously removed Member has rejoined using different information, please report this immediately.

• Site Email

  Our site creates an internal email address for you, so all sent and received messages go through our site and no-one is given access to your private email.

What you can do to ensure your safety:

• Personal Information

  Do not include any personal information in your profile or on the forum. This would include your real name, personal email address, telephone number, address, workplace, etc.

Do's and Do Not's

Your profile is the equivalent of a real life smile, eye contact or that first glimpse of someone you find really attractive. So how effective do you think it will be if you have no photo and just say "email me to find out about me"? I spent years dating on the internet and can say without doubt a profile like this sent me straight for the next profile button. So some do's and don'ts for your profile:

• DO post a photo on your profile, you have the option to hide it from general view and just show it to members that you choose but a photo is a must if you want a good level of response.
• DO take time to write your profile. No doubt you will 'tweak' it over time but it is very easy to think "I will jot something down and work on it later". The problem with this approach is that by the time you get around to writing something substantial, many people may have viewed your profile and rejected you on the basis of a 5 minute scribble. So make a coffee and take time to think about what to write.
• DO ask for help if you are struggling to write your profile, we will help you if we can and there is no charge for this service.
• DO be modest. Arrogance and a huge ego are not usually seen as attractive qualities. Be proud of your achievements but let people know about these over time.
• DO post moderate photo's. Guys, believe me a photo of your car, tractor or torso is not going to attract nice women. Girls, your cleavage and kitten pictures, whilst I am sure are both lovely, are not going to attract the right sort of guys.
• Do check the spelling and grammar of your profile, bad typing skills can lve a bad impression so take your time.
• DO read your profile carefully when it is finished, then ask yourself "would I be attracted to this person?" If the answer is no then get back to the drawing board and edit your profile.
• DO NOT make yourself sound overly desperate, lonely or depressed. Firstly this can attract the wrong kind of attention. Secondly, even if that is how you feel at the moment, remember that the excitement of getting dressed up and meeting someone new will lift your spirits. Also, consider how you would respond to a depressing sounding profile or would you even respond?
• DO NOT fib/lie/exaggerate too much. We all want to sound happy, active and eligble but people do tend to notice when the person they meet is 10 years older, a foot shorter and their Jag has turned into a Lada. Just remember that your goal is to find someone special and starting off based on fibs is not going to build the trust necessary for a successful relationship. Also, emember if you say you are very active and turn out to be a couch potato then chances are your date is going to notice and be very disappointed!
• DO NOT worry that you are "not good enough" just because you haven't made your first million, look like a movie star or live in the gym. We are all less than perfect and there are people out there for everyone, so take a chance and be honest about yourself.

Approaches

• Making Approaches The first big hurdle is making or receiving an approach. Respect is the key when sending and rejecting approaches. Here are some simple tips that will help you. If you are really stuck, send one of our pre prepared flirts. This is just a short message or image that will indicate interest.
• Be Polite Do not say "are you really that fat/thin/short/tall/old" or ask how much they earn. This is not going to get you very far.
• Compliments Have you ever met anyone that does not enjoy a compliment? Do not go overboard but offer a compliment abt why you were attracted to their profile.
• Humour Remember that you may have your friends in stitches but when you type there is no facial expression or voice tone. ings can be easily misunderstood in typed messages. Use smileys in messages to help indicate when you are joking.
• Be Positive How many profiles or messages begin with "I can't believe I am doing this but" or "I am sure I am not what you are looking for but ..."? This is such a turn off. Sound positive, be confident without being arrogant. The worst that can happen is the person says no thank you.
• Be Honest People may be very attacted to your imaginary self but it is the real you they will be getting to know. Sending a message that says "I saw we both love horse riding" when you don't know the difference between a canter and a cantle means you are just going to make yourself look silly in the long run.
• Rejection Nobody likes rejection but it is part and parcel of dating, whether on or off line. So be kind if you want to say thanks but no thanks. Also do not be too kind, if you are not interested don't keep the person hanging on, just let them know polity that you are not interested. Here are a couple of examples of polite but obvious rejections: Thank you for your interest, whilst I don't think you are the person I am looking for I do wish you the best of luck in your search. Let me save you from yourself, trust me I would make your life hell.
• Accept No If youreceive a rejection please simply accept that person is not interested. Do not email them and asky why or what is wrong with you, this just makes people feel uncomfortable.

The Forum

Guests are unable the read our forum. It is a place for members to make new friends, air their opinions and become part of our community.  You can enjoy a good gossip, swap recipes, discuss tractors, sell your house, AND find out if the person who is contacting you declaring undying love is sending the same email to lots of other members.

The First Date

Here is the deal breaker. You cannot plan chemistry between two people but you can plan a good first date. Here are some tips and ideas to make it special.
First dates will very much depend on distance and lifestyles but some things are a given.

• Length of date Plan to make the date quite short, lunch is always a good idea. If you really hit it off then it will add to the excitement of planning the next date but if there is no chemistry, you are not sitting for hours with nothing to say and looking at your watch. If you travel a long way to a date, find something local that you want to see or do by yourself, if your date goes well you can invite your date to join you but if it doesn't go well you have not had a wasted journey.
• Location Put a little thought into this, rather than just plumping for the local pub. Find out what your dates interests are and try to incorporate them into your date. I happen to love history and one of my best remembered dates was a pork and apple sandwich at a medieval castle. It didn't cost the earth, we enjoyed looking around the castle and the atmosphere was superb, with very little pressure to make small talk. Sitting in a pub looking at each other over a glass puts a lot of pressure on both of you. So an intersting date will take that pressure off but will depe on your joint interests. Here are some ideas to get you started: Cinema, theatre or concert. Country park, theme park or fair. Heritage or historic sites (most have a cafe r lunch). Both interested in photography? Meet somewhere scenic for a photography session. Want to have a real laugh? Why not try gokarting, horse riding, golf lesson or dance class. Go on be adventurous, laughter is great therapy and breaks down barriers.
• Gifts We are not suggesting you turn up with flowers and chocolates but I was once bowled over by a man that tned up to meet me with two gifts. I unwrapped the beautiful gift paper to find a ball of parcel string and a little frog ornament (which I still have today, although I think I used the string). These were both personal jokes from our conversations but what a great way to get a ladies attention and show you have been paying attention. He was guaranteed a second date and all for about £4 and a little thought. Of course there is nothing to stop a lady from doing the same thing.
• Safety if you have to travel to meet a date, make your own travel plans, do not ask your date to do it. Staying in a hotel or B&B? Search on the web and book your own, do not tell your date where you are staying or allow them to pick you up there. It is alweays better to be save than sorry. Always tell someone where you are going and any details you have abut your date. Ask your date for details and explain what it is for, if they are genuine they will have no problem handing over some personal information. I used to write down all of this iformation (name, telephone numbers, car registration, date and time of date, etc) and put this into a sealed envelope. This I would give to someone I trust and tell them if they had not heard from me by a certain time and could not get in touch with me they were to open the envelope and inform the police. This was never necessary and I simply collected the unopened envelope but it offered a way for people to find me should the need arise. Always let your date know someone has these details, if they are genne they will respect you for it and if they are not then they have been warned.

The Last Word

If you have taken time to read all of the above, we have now filled your head with safety issues and concerns about online dating. As long as you follow the advice given, you should find online dating an enjoyable, safe and interesting way to meet new people and inject a little fun into your life. As you gain experience with online dating you will learn other useful hints which we hope you will share with other members on the forum.