The letter A stood for Admire in our A – Z of Love and now that we have returned to admiring our partner we can move on to the next letter in our Love Alpahabet.

Next in our A – Z of love is the letter B.

B could stand for beauty, besotted, bedazzled or believe but in order to keep love alive in our relationships B is going to stand for Balance.

Doesn’t sound very romantic does it but balance is so important in a strong relationship.

We must learn to balance our work and home life. If we become too involved with work then our partners will feel neglected.

If you have children you must find a balance between caring for your children and caring for your partner. Many partners feel excluded once children arrive and feel their emotional needs are not met.

It takes understanding and compromise to create a healthy balance in any relationship. Few loving relationships can survive living in each others pockets without feeling smothered but if we are too distant from our partner their emotional and physical needs are not being met.

We must balance our own sexual needs and our partners. Many people believe the frequency of their sexual relationship should be based purely on ‘when they are in the mood’ … why? What about your partners needs, find a balance that suits you both. Perhaps you have to accept a little less or more frequently than would be ideal for you but a relationship is not all about one person and what they want or need.

Write down a typical day on a sheet of paper and then add times next to it and whether your partner is involved, like this:

• work – 8 hours – No
• children (playing/homework)  – 2 hours – No
• sleeping – 8 hours – No
• cooking/cleaning  – 1.5 hours – No
• gym – 1 hour – No
• internet browsing – 0.5 hours – No
• television – 2 hours – Yes
• travel – 1 hour – No

Do this for a typical week and be honest. Do you eat together, share a hobby together or do homework with the children together?

It is a way to visualise the time you spend devoted to each other and each others needs. If you see you are not spending enough time with your partner then work out where you can make time for them.

Could you go to the gym together or miss a night and spend that hour with your partner, could you switch off the television and communicate with each other by doing an activity together or just talking about your week.

Some couples have an evening or day a week they spend together, basically they continue dating each other after they are married and it does help to keep the romance alive but it would be better to find a way of naturally spending time together without having to pencil it into your diaries.

So B is for balance in a relationship, keep the love alive in your relationship by finding a healthy balance.

The letter A stands for Admire. Take time to admire your partner both mentally and physically.

When you first start dating you spend a lot of your time admiring each other, you watch their every move, visually learn every line on their face and listen intently to every thought they utter.

Have you heard the saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’? Unfortunately over time we start to take our partner for granted, we know what they look like, their thoughts are no longer new to us and gazing lovingly at them for an hour seems like a waste of time.

Well it’s time to get back to admiring your partner. Take time every day to stop and look at your partner, don’t think about anything just look at them.

This is a person that loves you, they have invested their time, trust and love in you so appreciate it.

Fair enough they no longer seem as exciting as they were in your dating days but be honest, are you still as exciting?

You may even look at other people and think “I wish I was single again” but believe me after some time with that person you would be in exactly the same boat.

Your partner has seen you at your worst, they have listened to your boring stories and bad jokes, they took care of you when you were ill and they devote much of their life to looking after you … yet they are still there.

They may have a few more lines on their face or a pound or two extra on their hips but those changes have come with time together.When did you last admire your partners beauty, the beauty that attracted you to them in your dating days.

Your partner still has hopes and dreams … when was the last time you asked them about their ambitions in life. When did you last spend time really listening to them and admiring their thoughts?

Take some time, have a good look and remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.

Go on, have an admire of the person you love.

There is also a competition you can enter at the ad site The Seeds of Love

It is so easy to convince yourself that within a week you are in love with someone but what you are really feeling is physical attraction.

That may mean you find someone physically attractive to look at or perhaps their mind attracts you or their smell is what causes your senses to heighten and your head to spin.

Who really knows why we fall for another person, it is different for each relationship. There is no logic or reason behind it, biology simply takes over and you can easy find yourself awash with emotion for someone that you thought was not your type.

In our society virtually all relationships begin with physical attraction, the feeling of love at first site is simply a mutual attraction and some raging hormones. Of course this can and sometimes does lead to falling in love but actual love takes time.

To love someone you must know their good and bad points, understand and put up with their habits and have been through a few ups and downs together. Love does not happen instantly.

The myth of love at first sight comes because some people do meet, are physically attracted and their relationship blossoms into love. It was something they both wanted at the same time and were both lucky enough to find in each other. That is when you hear couples say “I knew as soon as saw him/her” but what they knew is that they were both attracted to each other.

Lust is a very base emotion, it can feel uncontrollable, it’s a fantastic feeling when your whole body aches to be so close to another but do not mistake lust for love. Just because someone sleeps with you it doesn’t mean they love or even care about you, it simply means they are physically attracted to you.

Convincing yourself that you are in love because you are so physically attracted to someone or are having great sex with them can easily blind you to their faults and you may find yourself dating someone that is totally unsuitable for you.

Always take time when you are dating to sit back and consider whether this is really the person you want to be with or if it’s just great physical attraction, because when the lust begins to wear off you can find yourself facing someone you hardly know and barely like.

Your thoughts and emotions are your own, your Partner cannot feel them or experience your emotions. You can say one hundred times a day that you love your partner but if you then beat them once a day those words become hollow and unbelievable.

Your partner cannot guess how you feel about them and they may be unconvinced by your declarations of love, so it is important in a healthy relationship to show your love.

Here are 5 ways you can easily show your partner you love them:

1. Don’t overdo the affection …. sounds like a strange thing to say but it’s easy to slip from affection to habit. A kiss on the lips or cheek at 7:42 every morning is simply habit and does not show love. Don’t allow your relationship to get into a routine or affection becomes mechanical. Go on be daring, have sex on the sofa on Tuesday night instead of every Saturday in bed.

2. Be playful …. life is very short and most of the time quite mundane, so play with your partner. Be spontaneous sometimes, just grab them and kiss them or pinch their bum as they walk by. While your partner is discussing something unimportant start to undress them, they may be a little shocked but just look into their eyes and say “I can’t help myself, I love you”.

3. Respect your partner. Your partner may hate lace curtains or leather sofas but because they loves you they will put with them but you both live in the same home so if you want to show your love you will compromise for something you can both enjoy living with.

4. Discuss your thoughts about your relationship, don’t allow things to get bottled up inside you if your partner is doing something you don’t like. By discussing it with them, while hugging them on the sofa, you are showing you care about them and your relationship.

5. Share, share, share!! Share the household tasks, share some of your leisure time and share your love by drawing them a bath or giving them a massage … in other words share yourself.

Rather than just nipping in to the local petrol station or buying forced flowers from the supermarket, put a little effort in to selecting and sending flowers. However beware of what you are sending, red roses say I love you but yellow roses say we are just friends or denote jealousy. I have included which colour of flowers is the most appropriate for romance.

Most women are unaware of the meaning behind flowers so whether you send flowers yourself or through a florist make sure the card holds the information to the meaning of the flowers being sent.

Any good florist will know the meaning of the flowers, so if buying through a florist tell them the message you want to send and they will advise you on which flowers are appropriate.

10. Iris - Blue is faith and hope, purple means compliments or wisdom, white is purity and yellow is passion.

9. Acacia -Unspoken love, send these if you want to let someone know of your secret admiration.

8. Primrose – I can’t live without you (evening primose means happy in love).

7. Lilac - youthful or humility, also confidence.

6. Carnation -Fascination. Pink is maternal love, striped carnations mean refusal and say you cannot be with someone, yellow is rejection or disappointment but red means my heart aches for you or I am fascinated with you.

5. Orchid - Rare beauty, refinement, beautiful woman, long life, femininity or mature charm.

4. Lily – White is purity or virginity, yellow means walking on air but also falsehood and orange means I burn for you.

3. Tulip - Red is a declaration of love, multi coloured means you have beautiful eyes and yellow is hopelessly in love.

2. Daisy – Innocence or a loyal love.

1. Rose – Red roses say I love you but if you place red and white roses together it symbolises perfect unity. A thornless rose means I loved you at first sight. Each colour of rose has a different meaning but for love red is the only colour to send.

If a man were to send me flowers I would hope for orchids!!

Unless you have been crushingly lonely you don’t understand just what a strong and self destructive emotion it can be.

I am not talking about the level of loneliness you can feel when you fancy a night out but your friends are all busy.

I mean the level where you feel consumed by your loneliness, even when you are in a room full of people you are chatting to.

The trouble with this depth of loneliness is you can become convinced that only a romantic relationship can relieve your lonely feelings.

Dating can actually add to the feeling of loneliness, as your emotions become virtually tangible and your dates will pick up on this desperation, frightening them away.

The chance of meeting “the one” in the first person you date is less likely than winning the lottery, this means rejection is a certainty and rejection is not going to lift your spirits or build your confidence.

Another negative when dating in this emotional state is the possibility of entering a relationship with someone totally unsuitable in order to simply deal with your lonely emotions.

The only healthy solution to this depth of loneliness is to recognise that dating is not the immediate answer, that is not to say you should avoid dating but see it as a lower priority.

Your first priority should be to recognise that feeling lonely and being alone are two very different things. Being single is not why you feel this way, plenty of married people suffer from loneliness. This is so easy to say but not as easy to do, if necessary get professional help to separate these issues in your mind.

Once you have recognised the difference you can begin to work on changing your emotional state. If lack of company causes your loneliness you can learn to be happy in your own company, to enjoy time without being in a relationship.

When you are busy it is more difficult to feel lonely, your mind is on other things. If you are bored with nothing to physically do then finding a love interest can become of paramount importance, adding to your lonely feelings because love rarely appears in an instant.

The web now provides an outlet to lonely people, with forums on almost any topic and online dating sites where people can not only meet people to date but can also make new friends to stave off lonely feelings.

If you are lonely and considering joining an online dating site then first look to see if they have an active forum, if they don’t then do not join. The ‘meat market’ side of online dating will simply add to your feelings of emotional isolation.

Join a site with an active community and try to focus on making new online friends, if “the one” turns up it will be a plus but once you find new friends you will soon realise that finding a partner is not the only solution to your current emotional state.

Mind have a booklet on how to cope with loneliness and Web of Loneliness provide a number of website links for information and self help for loneliness.

There is nothing on earth like hearing someone say from the heart “I love you”, however it can lose some of it’s romance and meaning if said in a language that is not your own.

If you are dating someone who has a different first language then make the effort and learn to say those special little words in their own language, it will make them all the more meaningful.

• French – je t’aime
• Italian – ti amo
• German – ich liebe dich
• Spanish – te quiero
• Swedish – jag a’lskar dig
• Russian – ya vas liubliu
• Arabic – ana bahebek
• Urdu – mujhe tumse mohabbat hai
• Pakistani – mujhe tumse muhabbat hai
• Chinese Cantonese – ngo oi ney
• Chinese Mandarin – wo ai ni
• Japanese – kimi o ai shiteru
• Thai – pom raak kun for guys, or chan raak kun for girls
• Hawaiin – aloha i’a au oe
• Zulu – mena tanda wena

I shall leave the attempts at pronunciation entirely up to you.

My sincere apologies to anyones language I have managed to mangle in the process of trying to transliterate.

Now you have no excuse, get out there and tell someone you love them.