First we have to understand why dating review sites exist.

They are there to make the review site owner money … and there is nothing wrong with that providing the reviews are fair and impartial.

When someone follows the links from the dating site review and becomes a paying member of a dating site, the review site owner is paid either a one off fee or a percentage of the membership fee.

I repeat, there is nothing wrong with this, the dating site review owner has to put in the time and money to get internet browsers to their review site and the service they offer (if genuine) can stop you joining the wrong dating site.

Where I do have a problem is with review sites who do not even invest 30 minutes of their time to write a review, they simply copy and paste whatever the dating site owners send over. This is not a review, it’s purely an advert.

So let’s have a look at some review sites and decide wether they are review sites or advert sites. To be fair I am simply searching google uk for Online Dating Review Sites and choosing the top four sites in the search results.

I hope this shows you what you need to be looking at when visiting a dating review site and helps you to find real review sites rather than a page full of adverts.

No3 on googles list gets my vote, not because it is the best review site but because it appears to be the most honest. If the owners would add some more information into the reviews then they would be miles ahead of the competition.

No 1 Best4sure

As I am based in the UK I went straight to their UK Dating Sites page. At random I chose the review for the iLove dating site.

I copied a phrase from the section headed ‘Our iLove Review’ and googled it (including quote marks around the phrase to ensure an exact match).

The phrase popped up on a couple of blogs dated from 2005. Now if this is THEIR iLove review then why does the same exact phrase come up on other site review pages?!!

Scrolling to the top of the page I see .. *****latest ilove Uk seems to be no more ! .. so why is it still on the review site if ther dating site is no more (answer – search engine optimisation).

Knowing that even the small ‘Our review’ section is actually written by the dating site I have lost all trust in the review site … next.

No2 Online Dating Reviews

This looks a bit more promising. At random I have clicked the review for Dating for Parents and there are two guest reviews, the second is titled “Paid Members Getting False Reports”. This is what reviews should sound like, a mix of positive and negative.

I click the link to read their review and then click again (at the bottom of the short review) to read the full review (am getting dizzy now). The full review includes difficulties the review staff had registering with the dating website but gave an overall good score – sounds fair and honest.

I was really starting to like this site until I clicked all the review links down the page … there are a lot that simply don’t have a review, making them simple adverts rather than reviews.

I get the impression that the site began with great intentions but over time has lost steam (let’s hope they have made a fortune and are on a beach in Barbados, far too relaxed to write reviews). It’s a shame and I hope next time I visit they have found a new lease of life and completed all the reviews.

Still it’s a good review site to begin your search and I couldn’t find any standard phrases across the net.

No3 The UK Online Dating Review

I will declare an interest in this site … albeit a very small one, as they use this blogs RSS feed for their Dating Advice page but as I believe in honest reviews that is what I shall give and hope my RSS feed doesn’t disappear off their site.

It is centred around the UK. Not simply sites for UK only but also worldwide sites with a high UK membership.

The first review on the page is for eHarmony in UK and the site states “No rating yet, as we don’t have enough feedback”. That suggests honesty to me.

All the information is on one page so you don’t have to chase round the site following links. They also include a mixure of dating site types, from traditional dating sites to speed dating.

However, the reviews are simply too short, I would prefer to read more about the reviewers impressions of the site but you can see the honesty in the short reviews provided.

If you are looking for a UK dating site I would certainly check out The UK Online Dating Review and look out for little comments like “watch for fake profiles”, it certainly gives you a hint of how well the dating site is policed (or not).

No4 Dating Jungle

I’m totally confused by this review site.

I clicked the section for extramarital dating and there are two sites listed (illicitencounters with an overall impression of 6 and Lovinglinks with overall impression of 1 (these scores are out of 10).

Now call me old fashioned but a score of 1 out of 10 has to be a pretty poor review surely?! Yet the overall impression wording states “The design of the site is attractive and makes lovinglinks stand out from other dating services.”

Likewise in the dating site reviews, Dating Direct gets a dreadful 1 out of 10 and yet the overall impression simply says “Impressive are the detailed profiles which optimise your matchmaking success as well as the responsiveness and ease of use of the Site.”

Anyone else confused? I can only assume that the good scores are given to paying sites and the badly scored sites are simply added to encourage you to join the paying sites?! One to be avoided I think.

A reader has asked whether there are any online dating sites specifically for Latter-day Saints, also known as Mormon, followers.

Shared faith can be such an important aspect of dating and choosing a partner for marriage, so online dating websites now cater for all religions followers and LDS is no exception.

A cautionary word before I list the LDS dating websites I have found ..

online dating is big business, so anyone with a computer can produce a dating website and join an affiliate program. This means an LDS dating site could join a Christian affiliate network and display profiles of people from all Christian churches.

Make sure you check out the website before joining, do they appear to demonstrate LDS values on the website, are the members profiles in line with LDS beliefs or are they just trying to make some money from offering a service to a niche dating market?!

Check out things like any articles they have on the website or their blog if they have one, do they have an about us page setting out their values, look at the links on the bottom of the pages and see what you can find out before signing up.

There is an excellent queston and answer page about LDS dating and morality on the Mormon answers website.

1. LDS Pals has been offering LDS dating since 2001. Not the prettiest site design and I spotted a couple of obvious ‘African spammer’ type profiles but overall it seems like a good place for LDS singles to chat.

They offer chatrooms but do not seem to have a message forum. They have members from all over the world and the site does seem to be quite transparent in the information they offer.

They are very reasonably priced at just $4.95 a month.

Many of the profiles discuss the members level of LDS faith and temple attendence, so it would be worth checkng this site out.

2. LDS Fusion is quite a new LDS dating site but has a great site design and packed full of fun features. They may not have a very large membership but the site is designed specifically for LDS singles.

The site says it is completely free but when you join you have to agree to the terms and conditions which includes “Payment and Fees – The website is free of charge to use. However, there are some features that may be extra such as Speed Dating.”

It may be that you only pay to attend dating events organised through the website but you need to check out what fees there are before joining and their site is a little thin on information pages.

3. LDS Planet is run by Pople Media and is the big boy in LSD dating sites. They offer video, audio, personality tests and of course a huge member base.

They aren’t at the top of my list because after loads of clicking I still couldn’t find out how much their subscription charges are and transparency is personally very important to me.

4. LDS Singles is part of the MingleMatch program and they offer a number of sites for various religious, ethnic and special interest groups.

They charge $14.99 a month and use a feature I do not like, automatic rebilling.

This wouldn’t be my first choce for LDS dating purely because of the rebilling issue.

5. LDS Mingle is effectively the same wesbsite as LDS Singles but with a different design, again a part of the Sparks Network.

They offer a free trial but do not state how much subscription charges are or whether they use recurring billing.

Their lack of transparancy would put me off joining their dating site.

6. LDS Romances

Is a very spammy site, with the home page telling marketeers and bloggers to set up their own LDS dating site.

This put me off immediately, when it comes to something as important as a persons faith I would much prefer to find a dating site run by people of my own faith so i am confident they understand my needs and values or at the very least not advertise the fact that any Ton, Dick or Jane can set up an LDS dating site.

You cannot even access the LDS news page without being a member. They use the marketing “totally free to sign up” .. “free profile” type of enticements but if you look at the FAQs under Gold member privileges you will see that a free member can do virtually nothing other than create a profile but you can reply to online chat so this may give you enough feel for the site to know whether you want to join.

Membership is $29.95 a month at the moment but usually $39.95, so quite expensive compared to others.

They offer LDS greetings cards, forums, blogs, etc but overall the overdone marketing and lack of transparency would put me off.

7. LDS Link Up

This isn’t a dating website but a social networking site where LDS church members can meet and chat online. They have members in 50 countries and while it offers a social network it also has a strong LDS dating aspect. Definately worth checking out.

The image I have used on his post is from christiansunite.com and I do apologise if it is inappropriate for Mormons.

A recurring theme on this blog is finding the right niche dating site for you. The big sites are fine if you are looking for casual dating but if you are looking for that special someone then a niche site is the place to start.

I was doing some research for a friend today, looking at niche dating sites and was quite surprised at just how far the large sites are stretching their imaginations these days.

One search term was I researched was Gothic dating. I think we can all agree that this is a highly specialised niche market, you can’t even sneak a “well I quite like wearing black” in there.

Yet a search on google returned the following results:

No 1. Gothic Souls which is one of the ugliest dating site scripts I have seen but is at least run entirely for Goths. When you look at who runs the site you can see that they run four dating sites (Gothic, vegetarian, over 50′s and snog london) so doubt they have any interest in the Gothic scene but at least they have kept the site for a niche market.

No 2. We have flirtbox .. I had to do a double take in case I had read the URL incorrectly. Yes it’s flirtbox and we know how well they specialise in the niche market of Gothic dating … NOT. Just for fun press the link and see what happens. Basically anyone that has listed Gothic rock music on their profile is advertised as a potential Goth dating partner. Of course if the same person also listed classical music they would be advertised on that page as well. The search term was also for UK dating sites and yet at the bottom of the page you can see fourteen different countries displayed.

No 3. Is Gothing Dating hurrah, a site that is actually designed for Goths. This appears to be run by Claire and Jools, I like the personal touch but the latest news says happy new year. I hope they spend some time marketing the site and updating more frequently to keep members online, as they could easily do well in the UK Goth market simply because of their interest in the Gothic scene.

No 4. Site number 4 is a rugby coaching website … perhaps google was trying to keep me guessing?!

No 5. Is Loopylove … such a Gothic sounding name. Of course if you google military dating, salsa dating, vegetarian dating or wears frilly knickers dating then Loopy love and the like will also be listed.

No 6. We have UK Goths dating and bravo it is for Goths and is a nicely designed site. It is produced by afdotgothicmatch.com (number 7 on the page) and their homepage includes this piece of information “We provide website design, dating software, hosting, membership database,“, so UK Goths dating is basically an affiliate site to drive members to Gothic match but it is for Goths and you would meet other Goths there, albeit on a site you didn’t know you were signing up for.

I think that demonstrates the point well enough. The dating industry can be a huge earner for the big sites and they are so determined not to lose market share that they will be so blatant in their attempts to get you to sign up for what is clear to anyone not what they are advertising.

The day Flirtbox or Loopylove become niche Gothic dating sites I shall join the Gothic scene in salute, until then I shall continue to shake my head and tut at their tactics.

You then find small sites like Gothing Dating that appear to be set up and run by people with an interest in the gothic scene, for people in the gothic scene but they are drowned out by the big sites doing the online muscle job.

This is why I always suggest you research carefully before picking a dating site to join. If you are a Goth then support Goths who are trying to help other Goths meet and find a small site run by them. They understand your lifestyle, share your interests and you are not just a fast buck to them.

Whether you are looking for vegetarian dating, biker dating, rural dating or whatever, choose wisely and don’t be fooled by the big mainstram dating sites that are now using these tactics because they are losing out to niche sites.

Then they go off to the car showroom and say “wow I’ll have the shiny red one with the cool headlights”.

Then your new car is delivered and you realise it’s too big to fit in the garage, your four kids can’t fit in a two seater sports car and the warranty is written in Mongolian.

The same thing happens when people choose an online dating website to join. Dating sites are designed to make you click without thinking, let’s be honest you just want to start meeting new and exciting people now and not read the small print, which is what most sites rely on.

You will see buttons all over the site with huge bold text telling you to “start searching now” but you never see one that say “recurring charges will apply, sign up now” or “this is an affiliate site, click here and you will go to a different website but I will get some cash to help buy my new shiny red car with the cool headlights”.

If you are just after some online fun then go ahead, click without thinking and get chatting now. Free sites would be a good option for you as they tend to have quantity of members.

The trouble with clicking straight away is you have no idea what you are signing up to, it won’t be until you try to cancel your membership that you find out you have to call a number in the US between 6am and 7am on the third Tuesday of the month or that your profile is now their property and you can’t delete it, so after you are married with four kids and a sports car your profile is still in cyberspace … I suppose it will give your kids something to laugh about.

However, if you are serious about finding a long term relationship then follow this guide for choosing the right website for you:

1. Check the site to see how many members are in your area but DO NOT start reading profiles just yet. At this stage you are choosing a service, not a person and reading profiles (if there are nice ones on the site) will get you joining up without knowing what you are signing up to.

2. Scroll down to the bottom of the selected site’s pages and look for the small links to all the boring blurb. You are looking for a site that is transparent, the links will include such things as pricing (is it recurring charges), faq’s (look for how to cancel and if it deletes your profile) and contact us (does it give real contact details or just an email address?).

3. Does the site offer online dating help and advice, either through a site page or a blog like this one. They don’t have to be mad bloggers like me but if a site offers no advice or bad quality advice (ie would fit on the back of a stamp) then it’s a sure sign they are not going to offer good customer services. Scammers are rife on some internet dating sites so the least they should offer you is information on how to spot them.

4. Open a new tab or window in your browser and search for the website name, add search terms like problem, sucks or bad (eg baddatingsite+problems). Any dating service will have a few unsatisfied members that will complain about their site but what is important is what they are complaining about, see how many there are with the same complaint .. too many is a bad sign. A tip, don’t look on the first couple of pages of the search results, that will be full of their own content, go back a couple of pages and you may see forum posts where people are complaining.

5. Look up “whois-search”, just pop their web address in there and look for the registration date of the website, my sites whois search is here so you know what you are looking for. If they boast a million members and the site was only registered three weeks ago then you know they are either fibbing and are a new affiliate site or have a site full of fake profiles. Of course they could buy an old domain name but it is worth looking.

6. Search for reviews of the site but remember most reviews are written by the site owner or staff. One way to tell if a review is written themselves is that it will be stuffed with keywords and rarely reads naturally (eg This site for countryside dating is a great online dating site for farmer dating – that is written for search engines and not people). To demonstrate, this is a review of Country Couples (my site) and you can see I have written the original review and asked a couple of members of my site to add their comments. Look to see how many people have added to the review, usually none but if it’s a good site and they have happy members you will find reviews their members have added.

7. Now look at the site to see what sort of free trial you get. Register for free just means you can add a profile but can you look around the whole site, can you send 1 or 2 messages or flirts before you pay the subscription charge. My sites pricing page says “Free Membership – this gives access to the site plus 5 flirts and 3 emails, enough to enable you to decide whether you wish to join as a full member.” Only choose sites that let you try before you buy.

8. So you have found a site with good reviews or comments, their policies are transparent and they offer a free trial. NOW you can sign up and start reading profiles. How many of the members near you are like-minded? It’s no good joining a site with thousands of members if the site is called “dating for smokers” and you can’t stand the smell of smoke.

9. The first message you send should not be to someone you fancy the look of but to admin. Ask anything, like how do I know when someone has sent me a message. All you are sending the message for is to find out if admin reply, did they answer your actual question and how long did it take to answer. If admin are not responsive then don’t pay to join, if the customer service is bad on day one then imagine what it will be like when you have a real problem.

The examples I have used are all for my own dating site, which is specifically designed for daters in the UK with a love of the countryside and are not there to entice you to join … unless you are from the UK and love the rural life … but i hope they will help you to see what you should be looking for when choosing an online dating service.