This is largely driven by opportunity. As women have gained closer equality with men their work and social lives have opened new doors and presented new opportunities to meet people.

At the end of the day it’s simply not ok to cheat but that doesn’t stop people.

With adultery on the rise among women it’s important to understand what drives women to cheat on their husbands.

Of course not everyone is the same but these are the most common 3 reasons given by unfaithful women for their affair.

1. Affection and Attention

Yes, the number one reason for men and women is the same.

Like men, most cheating women don’t go out looking for an affair but when they receive affection and attention from a stranger that they no longer receive at home some women find it too flattering to resist.

It really does your self image and confidence no favours if you lose 10 kg or cut 6 inches off your hair and your partner fails to notice, you begin to feel invisible and un-cared for.

Then a strange man compliments you, he really notices you in the way your husband did before you started coming second best to his golf clubs. Once again you find your girlish giggle, you start to again feel sexy and desirable.

The sad fact is that most, if not all, of these women would never dream of cheating if they got the attention and affection they need at home.

Ask them and they will tell you, they would much prefer to receive this attention from their husband but he has emotionally withdrawn from her and is no longer excited by her, which plays havoc with her self confidence.

So guys, stop reading and go to tell your wife how sexy she looks, give her a smouldering kiss and say you’re sorry you haven’t been paying enough attention to her lately.

2. Revenge Cheating

Have you heard the saying Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Wow is it true.

Just search online for the term “revenge on cheating husband” and you will see page after page of stories about women cheating, going on naked webcams, selling porn photo’s of themselves and damaging cars, clothes, etc.

Women who catch their men cheating and follow this course of action don’t ask themselves the question does revenge cheating work, they just feel the need to get even.

Of course revenge cheating doesn’t work, two wrongs never make a right but these women feel that cheating on them belittles their sexuality, so they go all out to prove they are still sexy.

3. Thrill Seeking

Sexual freedom is still a very new phenomenon in the history of women. When I left school a man that slept around was a stud and a woman that slept around was a slut.

The playing field in recent years has levelled up considerably on this issue and women can now be bad girls without constant scorn.

Many women of my age married young, being still quite innocent and had families. They now see the sexual freedom the younger generations have and want a slice.

The problem comes when a man has been married to a woman for some time and is used to the hum-drum life they lead. Something in her life changes (a 40th birthday, a death in the family, large weight loss, a new career, etc) and the husband carries on as normal.

The life she was happy with for all those years just doesn’t excite her anymore, she wants to be a sex kitten and have fun. If you don’t notice this change and join in then someone else just might.

Here’s a more in depth look at reasons women cheat and the solutions, to help us in understanding adultery.

Firstly let’s just admit that women as well as men cheat, however women tend to commit adultery for different reasons to men, so this article will just look at the top 3 reasons why men cheat.

Understanding adultery is not the same as condoning it, there are so many reasons why it’s not ok to cheat, even in this modern sexually permissive society but by understanding why men cheat we can work on our relationships to lessen the chances of our partner, or ourselves, having an affair.

It’s also not ok to simply blame the wife, he isn’t getting enough sexual satisfaction at home so was forced to look outside the marriage .. although this can be a factor in some affairs but marriage failure is rarely so one sided.

Here are the top 3 reasons men cheat, in order of priority .. the No1 reason may not be as you would expect:

1. Affection and Attention

No, the number one reason for men cheating is not simply sexual gratification, although it’s a generally held belief .. i.e., he just can’t keep it in his pants.

It’s all about affection and attention .. in simpler terms it’s about his ego, someone that makes him feel appreciated and desired.

Think back to when you were dating, how you hung on his every word, laughed at his jokes, were desperate to spend time with him and picked the fluff off his jacket .. he loved the attention and he felt appreciated.

During that phase of your relationship a supermodel could have danced in front of him naked begging for his attention and he would have rejected her, as he was getting all he needed from you.

Then life moves on, you have the kids to pick up from school, the house is a tip, the dog has thrown up in the kitchen, the mortgage is due and you can put the shelves up yourself without waiting 6 months for him to do it. He has suddenly become a spare part.

Along comes a very ordinary other woman, no beauty queen and not even very exciting. He just meets her in passing, he isn’t out looking for an affair, she just happens to cross his path, be that at work, in the supermarket or socially.

She laughs at his jokes, enjoys his conversation and comments on how well his shirt suits his colouring .. bingo, she pays him attention and he suddenly feels appreciated again and cheating suddenly doesn’t seem such a crime.

He commits adultery, not because he was looking for extra marital playtime but because he finds the attention, ego boost and affection he feels he’s lacking at home.

2. Lack of Sexual Fulfilment

Men may cheat for three sexual reasons (or a combination of them):

a) His wife is partially or totally disinterested. When we are first in a relationship we are at it like bunnies but over time the physical side of a relationship takes a back seat to day to day life.

Most men can accept this without rushing out to cheat but when it comes to the weekly “hurry up and remember to pull my nightie down when you’ve finished” or “good lord, has your birthday come round again” then men will simply look elsewhere.

As with all things in a relationship, it takes both partners in a marriage to communicate and make decisions, women are not the sole judge of how often your marriage bed should see action other than snoring.

b) Sexual boredom can be a factor in adultery. It’s not that he doesn’t love you or doesn’t enjoy your sex life together but it can get a bit ‘same old, same old’ for both men and women.

This doesn’t mean you have to start reaching for the kama sutra, buy toys or arrange a swingers party to stop him from cheating, just be the woman he fell in love with again.

Open up your underwear drawer and have a look .. is it full of “comfortable” knickers and slightly off white mumsy bra’s? Maybe it’s time to dress up for your man or has it become a twice weekly (Tuesdays and Thursdays) event? Spice things up a little, be a devil and ravish him on Sunday afternoon.

c) Sexual experimentation. This is perhaps the saddest of sexual reasons for a man to cheat, I mean sad as in feeling sorry for them, not sad as in get a life you loser.

What happens if your husband wants you to dress as a french maid or tie you up and you give him that shocked catholic schoolgirl look?

First you have made him feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, never something we should do to someone we love. You may have made him feel perverse, for something most red blooded men think about trying. You have also rejected him without even explaining why you are afraid to try it.

Now, what if he meets a woman that is not only willing to try but is actually very keen to do so, she may even have some new ideas of her own? Adultery .. again not because he doesn’t love or respect you but because this new woman he is cheating with is allowing him to expand his horizons, she is accepting or even encouraging him to experiment and spice things up.

That is not to say “do anything your husband wants to try” but if he suggests something you know, without trying, you wouldn’t be comfortable with then suggest something new you would be happy to try.  He will be so happy when he see’s you trying to meet him half way he wouldn’t dream of cheating.

3. Nagging, nagging, nagging and more nagging

Nagging is simply another word for criticism and you may be a Stepford wife in all other ways but if you’re a nag then your man is going to dread coming home and will find solace in the arms of another  .. a non-nagging other.

Most people can accept constructive criticism but when it begins to be nit-picking, nagging for the sake of it, then it would wear anyone down.

He simply can’t win, no matter how hard he tries to please you he gets nagged .. in other words told he is wrong constantly.

It’s not enough for you to say don’t leave your dirty football boots on the coffee table, you have to add “AND” then list a thousand other things he does that annoys you.

A man in this situation will actively seek peace, whether that is through a hobby, drinking or an affair. Adultery is an escape for him and cheating loses it’s fear .. anything is better than being constantly brow beaten.

Conclusion

Some men will always cheat, they just have a “grass is always greener” mentality but a majority wouldn’t dream of it if they are happy and fulfilled at home.

Again, this is not just blaming the wife .. a relationship works both ways and when a man stops paying attention and making his wife feel sexy and attractive then it’s no big surprise she is rarely in the mood but we will look at that side of things in the next article.

For now ladies have a look at the three reasons men cheat and ask yourself honestly if you are guilty of any of them. It’s no shame to admit you are, I woke up one day and realised I had become a tremendous nag but like any problem, once you admit it you can do something about it.

On a final note ladies, don’t forgive affairs too easily. If I had added a number 4 to the list of reasons men cheat it would have been because they know they can creep round you until you forgive them again.

Understanding adultery is not rocket science, the 3 reasons why men cheat are symptoms of a bigger problem at home.

Most extra marital affairs begin the same way, the husband doesn’t show enough affection to the wife and the wife withdraws from their sexual partnership. It’s an age old problem within marriages, the boredom factor.

It does not matter whether the husband withdraws affection first or the wife withdraws sex, the result is the same a spiraling emotional black hole.

A vast majority of women need affection from their partner in order to stay in love, they have to be kissed, touched and made to feel loved or they simply have no emotional desire for sex.

The opposite side of this emotional rollercoaster is that a vast majority of men need regular sex from their partner in order to feel or show affection toward them. Withdrawal of sex on the woman’s part will simply lead to frustration, lack of emotional attention and a wandering eye.

It is difficult to keep the magic alive in a marriage and it does take effort from both parties.

The attitude of ‘I should only have sex when I want to but I only want to once a year’ is simply not meeting your partners needs.

Similarly the attitude of ‘why do I have to hug and kiss her, I’m married to her aren’t I’ is going to get you as much bedroom action as an inmate in solitary confinement.

If your relationship has started on this slippery slope then it is time for one of you to take the initiative and start dialogue. Talk openly about why you have withdrawn from your sex life or why you don’t show her any affection.

If your husband only shows you affection as a prelude to sex then you need to get him told, it is possible and preferable to show affection at any time of day or night without expecting it to lead to sex.

Believe me guys if you show affection to the woman in your life on a regular basis she is far less likely to withdraw sex.

In the same vein ladies, if you withdraw sex because you don’t feel sexy or just can’t be bothered expect his eye to start wandering. Most men do not WANT to have affairs, they simply come across whatever is missing at home and can’t resist.

Work on showing each other non-sexual affection, start by just getting more affectionate and see if that does the trick to start a new spark but if not sit down and talk, explain your personal needs and desires.