Usually about 6 to 12 months into a serious relationship the magic tarnishes and people can begin to feel a little bored in each others company.

This really is a normal process, as the excitement of getting to know each other drifts into familiarity.

While we are first dating we work hard to entertain each other, to think of funny stories, interesting places to go and how we can present ourselves in the best light.

The most successful long term relationships involve continued effort after the honeymoon period has faded.

You have to continue to admire each other, find the right balance so we neither ignore or smother each other, and remember to regularly compliment each other.

Whether you choose a “date night”, a hobby you can share or just take time to communicate each day. Don’t come home from work every day and just complain, tell your partner if you saw something funny, heard something interesting on the radio or just remembered a good joke.

We often hear people say how much they like a new dating partner because he/she “makes me laugh”. This is entertainment and it is important to keep that aspect of dating alive in a long term relationship.

When you were dating you wouldn’t dream of turning up to a date in sloppy old clothes and either moaning all evening or ignoring your date … so why do it in a long term relationship?

Of course we share our troubles with our partner and we all need some “me” time but don’t let it become a daily habit.

A relationship which is the same old, same old every day, without an element of entertainment, will quickly begin to sour.

Even if you are not in a good financial position (who is in the current recession) a little imagination can produce entertaining but <a href=”http://www.country-couples.co.uk/datingtips/10-inexpensive-dates-%E2%80%93-cheap-date-ideas/” target=”_blank”>cheap dates</a>. Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you can stop dating or entertaining each other.

So todays A-Z of love tip is to continue to entertain each other.

The letter A stood for Admire in our A to Z of Love.

We looked at why it’s important to take time to admire your partner both mentally and physically and how this continued practice can help sustain a loving long term relationship.

Then the letter B stood for Balance in our relationships.

We suggested finding a healthy balance between work and home life, between caring for your children and caring for your partner and balancing our own sexual needs and those of our partner.

The letter C stands for Compliment. Whether you are about to go on your first date with someone, have been dating for 6 months or been married for 20 years, it is important to remember to offer sincere compliments occasionally.

If you are in a long term relationship it is really important to offer regular compliments to your partner. Whether you compliment them on a nicely cooked meal, their parenting or work skills, their abilities at a hobby or if you just regularly remind them of one attributes that makes you love them … everyone enjoys being told what makes them special.

We not only have to learn how to give a sincere compliment but also how to receive one.

Rules for offering compliments:

Be sincere

People have built in radars for insincere compliments so don’t just stand around wracking your brains trying to think of anything you can say to offer a compliment. Yes it’s nice if you can offer a compliment when you first greet someone but it’s better to say nothing at first and wait for inspiration to grab you so you sound sincere.

Use Sparingly

If someone compliments you every ten minutes, even if they are being sincere, it becomes meaningless or they begin to look a bit creepy. That doesn’t mean compliments should be reserved for Birthdays and Christmas but keep it to a maximum of one sincere compliment a week.

Be Specific

“You look nice” is a seriously over-used compliment and is pretty meaningless, as is using compliments the person has heard a thousand times before. Compliments should be personal and should make them feel 6 inches taller. “That shirt looks nice on you” should be “That shirt suits you, the colour brings out the blue in your eyes” (he’ll feel great next time he puts that shirt on) and “You look really pretty” should be “That hairstyle really suits your features”. Pick something specific about the person and use that to compliment them for example “You have a really infectious laugh” or “You have a really good eye for colour/art/interior design”.

Be Original

Try to compliment people on personality traits or physical abilities rather than just the way they look. What is it you like about the person, is it the way they love their pets, their kindness to others or can they swim like a fish or sing like a bird? Do they have a great memory or can they finish the daily crossword while you are still on the first clue? These are the compliments that mean the most because looks are not something we can control but personality traits or physical abilities are things we put effort into learning.

Ask a Question

Many people find it very difficult to accept a compliment, so if possible end your compliment with a question to allow them to answer you instead of responding to the compliment. For example “I really admire the time you give to charity work. What got you involved with it?”.

Practice Giving Compliments

Many people find it difficult to give compliments because they don’t do it very often. Learning to give compliments is so simple, whether it’s a shop assistant, dentist, colleague at work or your next door neighbour .. when you think something nice about them simply say it. It’s easier if you start with your own gender. I just love the smile on someones face when I pay them an unexpected compliment and the more you see the reaction to compliments the more you want to do it.

Rules for accepting a compliment

No Negativity

If someone says your hairstyle suits you do not reply with “I think it looks better shorter/longer/a different colour”. If they say your shirt suits you don’t say “It would look better if I lost a few pounds”. Never respond with “Are you blind”. Negatively responding to compliments will deter people from complimenting you in the future and shows your low self esteem.

Say Thank You

Look them in the eye, smile and say thank you.

That’s it, there’s nothing else to graciously accepting a compliment.

The letter A stood for Admire in our A – Z of Love and now that we have returned to admiring our partner we can move on to the next letter in our Love Alpahabet.

Next in our A – Z of love is the letter B.

B could stand for beauty, besotted, bedazzled or believe but in order to keep love alive in our relationships B is going to stand for Balance.

Doesn’t sound very romantic does it but balance is so important in a strong relationship.

We must learn to balance our work and home life. If we become too involved with work then our partners will feel neglected.

If you have children you must find a balance between caring for your children and caring for your partner. Many partners feel excluded once children arrive and feel their emotional needs are not met.

It takes understanding and compromise to create a healthy balance in any relationship. Few loving relationships can survive living in each others pockets without feeling smothered but if we are too distant from our partner their emotional and physical needs are not being met.

We must balance our own sexual needs and our partners. Many people believe the frequency of their sexual relationship should be based purely on ‘when they are in the mood’ … why? What about your partners needs, find a balance that suits you both. Perhaps you have to accept a little less or more frequently than would be ideal for you but a relationship is not all about one person and what they want or need.

Write down a typical day on a sheet of paper and then add times next to it and whether your partner is involved, like this:

• work – 8 hours – No
• children (playing/homework)  – 2 hours – No
• sleeping – 8 hours – No
• cooking/cleaning  – 1.5 hours – No
• gym – 1 hour – No
• internet browsing – 0.5 hours – No
• television – 2 hours – Yes
• travel – 1 hour – No

Do this for a typical week and be honest. Do you eat together, share a hobby together or do homework with the children together?

It is a way to visualise the time you spend devoted to each other and each others needs. If you see you are not spending enough time with your partner then work out where you can make time for them.

Could you go to the gym together or miss a night and spend that hour with your partner, could you switch off the television and communicate with each other by doing an activity together or just talking about your week.

Some couples have an evening or day a week they spend together, basically they continue dating each other after they are married and it does help to keep the romance alive but it would be better to find a way of naturally spending time together without having to pencil it into your diaries.

So B is for balance in a relationship, keep the love alive in your relationship by finding a healthy balance.

The letter A stands for Admire. Take time to admire your partner both mentally and physically.

When you first start dating you spend a lot of your time admiring each other, you watch their every move, visually learn every line on their face and listen intently to every thought they utter.

Have you heard the saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’? Unfortunately over time we start to take our partner for granted, we know what they look like, their thoughts are no longer new to us and gazing lovingly at them for an hour seems like a waste of time.

Well it’s time to get back to admiring your partner. Take time every day to stop and look at your partner, don’t think about anything just look at them.

This is a person that loves you, they have invested their time, trust and love in you so appreciate it.

Fair enough they no longer seem as exciting as they were in your dating days but be honest, are you still as exciting?

You may even look at other people and think “I wish I was single again” but believe me after some time with that person you would be in exactly the same boat.

Your partner has seen you at your worst, they have listened to your boring stories and bad jokes, they took care of you when you were ill and they devote much of their life to looking after you … yet they are still there.

They may have a few more lines on their face or a pound or two extra on their hips but those changes have come with time together.When did you last admire your partners beauty, the beauty that attracted you to them in your dating days.

Your partner still has hopes and dreams … when was the last time you asked them about their ambitions in life. When did you last spend time really listening to them and admiring their thoughts?

Take some time, have a good look and remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.

Go on, have an admire of the person you love.