We need to hear from scam victims, have you been scammed after joining an online dating site?
Have you received requests for money from someone you met on a dating site but realised it’s a scam before sending money?
Some of the victims stories we are currently receiving are heartbreaking but there is little practical help we can offer to victims after the scam has taken place.
We are currently considering starting a new blog dedicated entirely to educating potential online daters of the dangers and warning signs of scams but before we spend time and money on this project we need to hear from you.
Please leave a comment (or use the “ask a dating question” link at the top of this page) answering these simple questions to help us decide whether such a blog would help people avoid being scammed:
1. Did you do any research online about the dating site you joined before you joined?
2. If you did do research what did you type into your search engine (eg name of dating site+reviews or does “name of dating site” work?).
3. After you joined the dating site did they send any information to you about how scams operate and how to avoid them?
4. Did you read any of the newsletters or admin emails sent by the site, about any topic, or did you just delete/ignore them?
5. Can you think of any delivery method which would have given you information about online dating scams before you joined a dating site or were you just too excited to get started once you made the decision to join a dating site?
We would really appreciate your answers to these questions so we can try to find a way to help people before they are scammed and not just after they have become a victim.
Thanks for any replies we receive. We are currently having a problem with the comments sections which we are trying to fix, so if you try to leave a comment and get a blank page please use the Ask a Dating Question link right at the top of the blog to send your answers by email, because we really need to hear from dating scam victims.
June 19th, 2010 at 4:35 am
Helly Sally
It is good to read from you again on such an important subjet as this one. When I first got to your site was mainly after looking online for “dating frauds” as I was just tried to be scammed after putting my profile on match.com . I have shared on other themes of your sites some of the emails and documents recived by the scammer but I would like to answer to your questions above to help other people to skip scammers.
1. I did not do a research about the website as I knew it was one of the biggest ones and it was the first one I found when looking for dating sites. I just googled for dating sites and found many including match.com.
3. When I joined them I got a confirmation but never a warning about the scammers, I did not even know scammers were involved in dating sites. I did not receive any newsletter I probably did not want to receive any.
5. It is correct, I was so excited to get started and again, I never even thought scammers were on dating sites.
Now I know I should have done some research before joing any dating site and I hope this blog help others to skip scammers. I think any dating site should warm you about scammers and they should also do the research I did after tying to be scammed and publish a note with the names and email they use. They should also have all these records on their files and denied the access to any scammer trying to use one of these email address which I found after my research and which lead me to your site.
June 22nd, 2010 at 10:11 am
Hi Sally.
Thanks for the post, lots of useful insight here for all potential online daters out there. Truth is, scammers are everywhere, including dating sites. It is quite simply crucial to do research on a dating site before you join. Just do some online searches and visit forums, and read about othere people’s experience. If a site has a bad rep, someone will for sure tell others about it.
.-= Stephanie@Find a Date Tonight´s last blog ..How can i find an everything free dating site on line? =-.
November 4th, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I was scammed in a dating site a few years ago, but I was very naive then. I probably did receive warnings from the site thru email but never bothered to read them. Didn’t do any research either. My passion for the girl just overrided any logic. Just got caught up in the moment and couldn’t believe someone was actually interested in me *GASP* Needless to say, I’ve become a skeptic and probably won’t try any online dating sites in the future.
May 17th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
i was just scammed i sent him 1300.00 now he says he needs more and for me to cash a check for him i didnt do it boy was stupid for sending him 1300.00
November 23rd, 2010 at 7:18 am
dear , whoever , due to total stupidity i realise i have just fallen far the oldest con there is , but i cant use a computer well and i have reported my crime to the police only yesterday , i waited at the airport for someone to arrive , he didnt show , i was contacted by police i bailed him out and repaid his ticket and of course now he is nowhere to be found, i should have known better i agree but i had a lot of communication with him prior to these events , i make no excuses for myself and the money has gone , i gave it to him , he didnt exactly steal it , but apart from the mopney , i am not coping with the humi liation , the cruelty and i need answers as to why ,i know i am a victim of my own stupity but i really was just helping another human being , thank you for being there. sandy
December 13th, 2010 at 7:42 am
It is sad to hear some of these stories. I am surprised people get taken, but then again I have to remind myself everyone is not as skeptical and cynical of things. Even not being cynical though people need to learn common sense when it comes to such scams. My friend used to have me run a dating website for him and it was a full time job deleting fake profiles and posting warnings to users about their scams.
Romance For Dummies
December 14th, 2010 at 12:21 am
I was joined be2.com and they didnt inform me about any danger. I decided to have a paid subscription because it a big dating website.
The scammer user name is gphil400. Email: graham.phils.co.uk. He said he was a civil engineer, widow and had a 10 year old daughter named Sophia. Lived in Harrow, UK. After 3 weeks of chatting online, he said he needed travel to Nigeria to supervise a construction site. Few days later, his daughter got malaria, his credit card was blocked and he needed money to pay for medical bills!! I did some research, and couldnt verify any of the info he gave me. Didnt loose any money, but now I would like to warn the person whose pictures were used to scam me. Maybe he was a victim also, just trying to find his soul mate. Its hurtful, and I feel ashmed… I even made a channel on YouTube, I dont know if I will succeed, but at least I’m trying…
January 28th, 2011 at 12:02 am
I joined Nightcafe.com back in the early part of 2010 and I was looking for someone local to me and got chatting to a couple of guys then about 4 weeks ago, I became a friend of a us soldier, we exchanged plesanteries like you do and then he told me his name was Leroy Schwartz and we started to message on Leroyschwartz@hotmail.com and then suddenly he told me that his name was Glenn witt and that his wife was deceased in 2006 and he had a 17yr old daughter studying law in the US. He sent me pictures and unfortunately I told him personal stuff and then I had the email..relationship stuff and what he wanted. He wanted to come and visit me on leave and when he mentioned money I said no. He then took the hump and said that I really didn’t think his worth, something didn’t ring right with some of the english in his emails as he used the word ‘da’ which us don’t use.
He then didnt email for a couple of days and said that he had been hit and was in hospital but was safe just a bruised shoulder.. but now he is very cool with me, there is no way that i will part with 400 pounds.
I m a disabled mum with two kids and have recently hurt myself badly so I cant work, so I don’t and would have that sort of cash lying around.
When he said about me applying for leave I said dont ask for cash as I hd been caught once before for £1500.
If this man is genuine I would opologise but I did google Leroy schwartz and hes on facebook nothing like the photos I was sent but I also googled glenn witt but couldnt find anything. he was supposed to be in the TF373 capt Glenn Witt.
If this guy is genuine then I will opologise but something doesnt ring true
January 28th, 2011 at 7:45 pm
Hi Foxy diamond
Definately a scammer. Soldiers do not require money to take leave form the army. That would be like having to pay your comany to take your annual holida from work.
Amazing that he claims to be in a Unit which has recently been highlighted through Wikileaks as a “kill or capture” squad hunting the Taliban’s deadliest fighters in Afghanistan. Now, can we believe for one moment that someone serving in that unit is going to tell a total stranger they recently started chatting to on the internet???? I don’t think so for a split second.
Can we believe that a scammer searching the internet for military snippets to spin a story would mistakenly use that Unit … yes indeed.
Scammer, pure and simple.
February 15th, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Guy called Mr David Gray said to be US Soldier in Afganistan. He moved from talking on match.com to msn and email. I checked his computer IP and it was from Nigeria.
February 24th, 2011 at 9:36 am
One day there was a message for me on my facebook page. A man named Glenn Witt, 52 years old, wrote that he was singel and searching for women who were on equal grounds. I replied that it could only turn into friendship, which he accepted and we started writing to each other. He told me that his wife had died of cancer in 2004, and he had a daughter Morgan, aged 18. Soon after he wanted to wrote together over email. He told me he was captain in the army, and a half weeks after the acquaintance he had to leave to Afghanistan. I told him we were not on the similar continent, but the distance meant nothing to him. He was willing to come over to me in Europe and told me how to send my application in a proper way that will speedup the approval.I think everything went too fast and it became clear to me, along with the past events that there is something that does not feel right, and wrote to him that he should not come here and that he should give me time to think, he also would give me time, but he also wrote that he wants my phone no. I replied that I would not give my phonenummer and he wrote back that he will not write to me anymore because he thinks that I did everything to a problem and that I dont want to have a man in my life. Therefore I tried to find something out at him, and came across this here website. And when I read about it what foxydiamond wrote, I could put two and two together. Being awake women, do not get controlling to fine words from a man.
February 24th, 2011 at 9:48 am
To foxy diamond, I am curious if it’s the similar man we’re talking about. He sent pictures of himself with his daughter, sister and mother. Can you tell me more about your conversations. Has he sent photo of himself in military uniform with a tanker behind him. It surprised me, that he did not asked to be added as my friend, but was busy getting my email.
February 24th, 2011 at 7:21 pm
he sent me a relationship expectations email… with the way he would likeour relationship to move on….and he said that he would have to d a security check on me if he was coming to stay with me… now i had never given him my full name but he called me janice margaret so he must have checked me out on the internet..when i said have u got a phone on you so that i can text he said that they werent allowed to have a phone while they were at the front line…he sent he a picture of him with him walking on a wall and a soilder in the back ground saying that it was his bodyguard because he was a captain…he said that he liked old cars and asked what i drove well i have a brand new car so I suspect he thought i had money..
you can email me if u want
February 26th, 2011 at 7:24 am
To Melisa and Foxydiamond
If you would like to email each other please use the Ask a Dating Question at the top of the blog and send me permission to give your email to the other and I will forward it.
February 26th, 2011 at 7:10 am
This message is to blog a scammer who joined pentecostalmatch.com of which I believe is a credible and for single dating online. I met this guy michealatkins01 whose profile closely macthes with me. We become easily connected within just two months and that he wanted to see me. I filed a leave for two days from my work and eagerly spend time with him. Unfortunately he did not arrived on the expected day. vefore dating online I was already aware of the scam dating online and I was just really clever about these things. To move on, this micheal atkins did not arrive. I anticipated that his next move is that he will email me something bad is happening to him and really came true.. Soon after he sent me his last email that he got messed up adn stuck in Africa becuase the cab drivr fled away and stole all his things and then he plead for my healp insinuating financial help. I already knew towards the end of our agreement to come that bhe is possibly a scammer. Finally I sent him an email that I cannot send him money adn he never go back to me anymore. I AM WARNING THE PUBLIC OF MICHEALATKINS01 WHO JOINED AT PENTECOSTALMACTH.COM. THE NAME MICHEAL MIGHT BE ABUSED TOO AND THE PICTURE COULD PROBABALY BE ANOTHER PERSON USING THE BRITISH PROFILE IN BEHALF OF AN AFRICAN. BEWARE OF MICHEAL ATKINS USED BY THE SCAMMER.
February 28th, 2011 at 4:29 am
Hi guys, according to the Office of Fair Trading consumers should contact Consumer Direct to report general scams, and contact Financial Services Authority for investment scams. Consumer Direct’s homepage is available at the address: http://www.consumerdirect.gov.uk/
February 28th, 2011 at 11:48 am
Hi MrRight
I’m not sure what good contacting consumer direct would be if the scammer is in Nigeria and not selling a service or product?
March 15th, 2011 at 3:31 am
Hi,
Well i was recently scammed, the worse thing was from the start it felt wrong (yes i know now to trust my instincts) but there was a slim chance that it could be true and i didnt wish to feel guilty if i hadnt helped. I ended up finding the real persons name, and the patsy he was using to pick up the money. Ive contacted the police, hopefully they can do something about it. For those who have also be scammed, dont feel embarassed, they were the scum and they took advantage of your nature. The site was match.com.au, in hindsight (wonderful thing) there were others on that site trying to do the same thing to me while i was talking to this person. Worse thing now is, the guy who was pretending to be a woman is probably now distrubting my photos and using them to con others. My suggestion for anyone caught in this trap, contact the fraud section of your police force, who knows they might get caught. And NEVER send money to people you havent met, never.
March 16th, 2011 at 2:42 am
I was contacted by the same Glenn Witt, Captain in Kabul etc, daughter Morgan all the same details, all except he was 51, was on the site connectingsingles,com , he didnt ask me for anything, didnt get the chance, he was grooming me for it though, I could tell so I goggled his name and found this site…So thanks for the heads up!
Keep up the good work, posting the scammers names and MO’s will save alot of people for falling victim to their scams. I personally would never send money to an online “friend”, but there are alot of trusting & generous souls out there.
March 16th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Juzbcoz
That is brilliant news, I am so happy to hear the information on this site saved another victim. I might have a choccy biscuit to celebrate lol.
Thanks for letting us know.
March 19th, 2011 at 11:01 am
Hi there, a friend of mine is definitely being scammed, but we can’t get through to her. We have informed action fraud, who were brilliant, but we can’t get the police to do anything, as she is still convined he is a genuine guy. We found out last night that she had already given him £7,000, for his ‘emergency operation’. We can’t fully expose the facts to her as yet, for reasons that we cannot explain quickly here.
We are trying our own detective work to trace his name, email address, phone number etc. and would appreciate any advice on what we can do. The police won’t do anything unless she instigates the investigation herself. This is a problem, and the scammers are using this to their advantage. Has anyone got any ideas? If they wish to contact me we will listen to any advice.
March 19th, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Hi John
I will help as much as I can. Will email you directly.
Sally
March 22nd, 2011 at 5:56 pm
On-line dating web sites need to take some accountability for their subscribers. If they are going to charge a fee for the service, then their could run a background check on subscribers before allowing them on the web sites. Offenders need to be prosectuted.
March 29th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Met a British male in Be2 who fell in love with me in less than 2 weeks. His love was overwhelming. He’s a widower with a daughter. One day, he was awarded a very important contract but he must travel to Nigeria the next day. Due to the urgency of the job, he brought his daughter with him.
Whilst there, things turned for the worse. He did not have sufficient cash with him in a city where they generally do not accept credit card. His daughter was kidnapped and subsequently died from malaria in Nigeria. He was robbed and shot in the arm. I managed to get him out of his ordeals each time, financially. He claimed to be rich but was still awaiting payments before he can return me.
He finally returned to London where he received proper medical treatment. I again helped to pay for the deposit for the emergency surgery. During the surgery, complications arise and he is now in a coma. I was his next-of-kin as he already has no family. His attending doctor contacted me to pay for his transfer to another hospital for more professional medical treatment.
I want to believe it’s all true and I love him. I helped because I did not want my conscience to prick me. I spoke to his attending doctor who told me he’s a very good man…that I was lucky to have him.
What should I do now? I’m financially exhausted by him…and it’s still continuing.
March 29th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Hi Lost
I am so sorry to read that you are caught up in this scam and that is what it is a scam.
First of all the coma and the doctor calling you is a recent adition to their scam … I’ve helped 4 women in the past week who’s “online husbands” have had an accident in Nigeria and ended up in a coma.
Second the UK has a National Health Service and a very good one. We DO NOT pay for medical treatment when we need it … we pay National Insurance through our monthly wages so medical treatment, including operations, are paid for in advance by the whole nation … NOBODY receives a medical bill or pays to be transferred to a different hospital.
Third the British care for their citizens all over the world. Think about it, you’re in a strange country and your child is kidnapped .. who do you turn to? If his daughter had been kidnapped in Nigeria and subsequently died the British Embassy would have flown him home on compassionate grounds .. free of charge.
I’m so sorry but this is a total scam and you have been sending money to a Nigerian to improve his lifestyle.
Stop all communication with him. Do not even email or reply to say you know it’s a scam because that just gives him the opportunity to tell you more lies.
If you sent him a large sum of money in total (which from your story I am guessing you did) please go to your countries police or authorities and report it as a crime. There are close ties between your country and mine (UK) so the police here should be able to trace the payments you sent to someone in UK. There is little chance of getting your money back but at least if your police take it seriously there is a chance of getting the scam gang caught and stopped from doing this to someone else.
I know it’s hard to accept and it hurts but please do not fall for any more of his lies, it’s all fake and he is simply stealing from a trusting woman.
March 30th, 2011 at 10:13 am
Hi Sally
Will you be kind enough to help me check out his story please? I can provide you some information via e-mail.
Thank you.
March 31st, 2011 at 12:28 am
Hi Lost
Of course I will try to help you. I have sent an email to you and you can send all information by return.
Sally
March 31st, 2011 at 7:28 am
To all the readers:
It is very easy to fall prey to these scammers especially when one is vulnerable. We are all in need of love, care and attention.
I’ve done all the necessary engine search on Alan and his family but nothing came up, even the “international expert” doctor showed nothing. They are extremely intelligent.
It may have been a very tough lesson to me, but we must learn to be able to walk away from it, look forward and be wiser.
I have been a willing victim and my conscience is clear. I have both lost and gain from this experience. Peace and truth are all that I seek and I have now.
I salute Sally for your time and effort in keeping this website alive.
April 4th, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Yo igualmente cai en las mentiras del capitan Glenn Witt. Me dijo que tenia una hija llamada Morgan. Me mando fotos con su hija y tia. Dijo
que estaba por jubilarse pronto y que queria hacer una vida conmigo.
que estaba en Afganistan en un escuadron del Ejercito y que pronto nos reuniriamos.
Yo no le crei mucho. Me parecia raro que una persona se enamorara asi de rapido.
Todos los dias me mandaba correos pero extraños ya que en algunos hablaba muy poco porque y que no tenia tiempo. Por favor sras tengan cuidado y no manden dinero a desconocidos
From Google Translate:
I also fell in the lies of Captain Glenn Witt. He told me he had a daughter named Morgan. Sent me photos with her daughter and aunt. Said
he was to retire soon and wanted to make a life with me.
He was in Afghanistan in a squadron of the Army and soon we would meet.
I did not believe much. It seemed unusual for a person to fall in love so fast.
Every day he sent me mail but in some strange and spoke very little because, and I did not have time. Please be careful and not send money to strangers
April 7th, 2011 at 2:49 pm
please can you help me, i need to know if this person is a scammer, i use to chat on person. com, now its on yahoo, all the traits of a scammer are there, please, please help,
April 7th, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Hi Don
I will email you directly. Sorry you need to be a little patient, it’s after 10 pm here and I just got in from work, so I can’t always answer straight away.
April 9th, 2011 at 2:57 pm
I fell for the oldest trick in the book; asking for money. He said he broke his laptop and could I buy him one and send it to him. He was in Ghana West Africa. So like an idiot I did to the tune of $550.
He was supposed to come back to Canada and we would meet. Then came the bombshell, he asked for more money for a flight to South Africa this time for $1200. When I told him I didn’t have it he said I was ungrateful and din’t love him.
I didn’t send the money and ended it right there. But I feel like such a fool to have fallen for that old scam.
So now not only am I out the 500 bucks, I also am left witha broken heart, not to mention a bruised ego.
Hope this helps someone else.
April 10th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Hi everyone! I must first start by saying that I thought I was the only one who had been exposed to this. But when I began to have my doubts about this man that I still love and found this page so I thought oh my god I’m not alone who have been deceived by men who claim to be soldiers. This man contacted me inside woome in early September last year. Everything I’ve read about it has not spared me, but not only me but also my children. I have lost in round numbers, nearly $ 18,000 because I thought I had found my true love and because he wanted to come home. He also spoke at he needs to pay some money for his documents so he could get access to his account as he had at Bank of America. He also told me after a while that he had a son, the fourteen years that I also have photos of and which I love as my own children. I have also sent a lot of money to his son, the birthday party, and for food and gas. He knew exactly which button he could press, I have told him about my children and also that I am the grandmother of a girl in almost four years which is the angel and the light in my life. There have been some days that have been so hard, so I’ve had the idea of ??taking my life. But the thought of my children and my little angel has given me the strength to want to live on. I have made ??contact with both the CJ and with Tina from Canada on the site new online military scammers and Tina told me when I sent her the photos on this man that there is no one she recognizes. I put tracking on the mail that I sent to him and I know that the mail is opened and read in Malaysia. He says he is a seargent, he is serving in Baghdad in the peace monitoring, he has served in Baghdad since 2007 and he is serving at November 2011. He says he is from Costa Mesa, California. His name is Jenn Smith and his son named Henry. Is there anyone who has had contact with this man. Hugs to you all Regards Anki
April 10th, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Hi Anki
You are certainly not alone and I’m so happy to hear you realised ending your life is not a solution. You will survive and you will get stronger each day.
There has been a marked increase in these scams coming from Malaysia but the fact that the photos are not recognised is nothing strange. How many millions of people use the internet and upload family photos to social networking sites … millions. If you were a scammer would you use old photos or steal new ones each time you find a new victim?
Surely Jenn is short for Jennifer? Are American men called Jenn? I have googled and can’t find any men called Jenn.
Stay strong, realise you are not alone and you are not stupid for falling for this scam … then pick yourself up and concentrate on your lovely family.
April 10th, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Hi Sally! Thank you for your comforting words, it warms. I have Googled his name but did not find anything about him. What hurts the most is that he stated that he has a son who I also have photos which I took to my heart and I love this child as my own. He knew exactly which button he could press. Hugs from Anki
April 10th, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Hi Anki
Unfortunately most scammers have discovered that having a dead wife and a child for her to care for in the future press all the right buttons. I know it doesn’t help to understand the man and child you came to love are just a figment of some bad persons imagination but in time this knowledge is key to recovering from the hurt.
April 10th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Well I know, He told me that Henry’s mother died six years ago in an airplane accident. And that he himself had asked Jenn to have a stepmother. Right now it makes it terribly painful, and it feels like the pain will never disappear.
April 18th, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Hi Sally, I have sent an email to you and encourage you to give me answers when you have checked it.
April 19th, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Hi Anki
I have replied via email
April 19th, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Hi Sally! I have sent you an email with what you asked me about. Regards Anki
April 19th, 2011 at 11:38 am
Anki I am so sorry you were scammed I am the person who left the information concerning real us service members this is exactly what I typed I only wish you could have read this much sooner then you would have been warned.
Ladies listen VERY carefully if these guys are really US Service members then they will email you from their military email address two they will NOT need to beg you for money to talk to them as they can talk to you free of charge on the computer and yes they can also use the webcam if they have one.Also very important the service member has to request leave not anyone else and it does NOT have to be paid for.
Sunnyvale California is where yahoo is located that is why the isp shows Sunnyvale California.
Also the service member has no need for your money they have debit cards linked to their own bank accounts THEY have access to their own money at all times.
also many of these scammers use common american names and they use others pics many times they are just young unintelligent ugly poor uneducated africans who sit in an internet cafe all day I had one to ask me for 1200 us dollars because his mum had fibroids and needed surgery hes still waiting for that money.
ALways follow your gut instinct ask questions ask for proof ask them why dont they email you from theri military email accounts if they come up with an excuse trust me it is a SCAM!
Remember real REAL US SERVICE members do not use free email accounts as they have a military email account and they are not and will not be in africa nor do they need money from you for any reason.
NEVER EVER SEND MONEY TO ANYONE U DO NOT KNOW.
As for my email please scammers stay da hell away because I know a scammer when i come into contact with one.
To everyone else once you realize it is a scam cut off all contact check your security settings on your computer and above all Leave The Scammer with NOTHING.
April 19th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Hi tee! Thank you for your message. I had hoped that I had found these pages before everything happened. There has been a tough time but somehow I have decided to do this. What has been the most difficult and it has made ??me so sad, it has not been any money that he has blown me on, but it is that he mentions that he has a son who I also have contact with and which I also have taken to my heart and whom I love as my own children. I have photos of this boy but have not the faintest idea who the boy is. He knew exactly which button he could press. I hope there will come a day when he and the rest of these scammers will pay for what they have done. I also hope that one day I will know who the man in the photos is that he has sent to me. He as I have loved in eight months. I just want to say that there are certainly many of us who feel disappointed and hurt for what we’ve been through, but I know it will be better. Hugs to you all from Anki
April 20th, 2011 at 1:50 am
Anki you do not know for sure that this child actually is real I know you might love the child but I can almost guarantee you that if you do NOT cut off contact you will get caught up in a scam again due to the feelings you have I read somewhere you said you gave him money for food and gas which means he also knew you were being scammed but he never told you which can only mean he had to have been a part of the scam.I pray you find peace
April 20th, 2011 at 5:45 am
Hi tee! You’re right, I have not the slightest idea who the boy in the photos are. The only thing I see it is that he is a miniature replica of the one who is pretending to be Jenn. Since I do not know if this is someone’s son to the military as I have in the photos. He said in the beginning when we had made ??contact, that his best friend on the Anaconda base in Baghdad, and his name is Bruce Collins. The day before yesterday when I was looking for information about this man so I got up a page spokeo.com where you can search the email addresses of people who are from USA, so did Bruce side up but with a photo of Jenn. When I confronted him about this, he replied that one must have a photo to be registered and that he loaned Bruce his own shooting because he did not have any own photo. But Bruce had promised that he would go in and put a photo of himself. I now know that everything is just lies and I am absolutely sure that he has several pages with different profiles. I have also asked him about his military email address but were told that they have no one at his base and if you want to know something, you get contact military session.
He has mentioned his captain and two commander named. The captain says his name is Kelvin Ruud And the names of the other two are Andy Peters and Kelvin Hughes. When I contacted the CJ if he answered that there is no captain or commander of such names in Baghdad.
April 21st, 2011 at 5:28 am
Anki why are you still in contact with your scammer still???? you know he/she or they are scammers so why are you still talking to them CUT OFF ALL CONTACT leave your SCAMMER you know CON MAN OR BULLSH*T artist with NOTHING.
The military email thing is a bunch of bull and you know it and if you do not know by now CJ has said MOST US Military Members are no longer in Bagdad or Iraq and what is military session ask him to show you a copy of his military id or ask him to send you a picture of himself with the words I LOVE U ANKI I can guarantee you he will have an excuse for that also or you will see an ugly black African who looks nothing like the white man that you fell for.
You have now educated yourself but you must face the fact that you have been scammed because you didn’t know but you need to cut off CONTACT and check the settings on your computer for spyware and malware and viruses if you do not have good antivirus please purchase one.
You will be victim to this Scammer again if you do NOT take heed how many more times do you have to be told to let it go you KNOW he is a liar who just wants more of your money I really hate to be brutally honest but it is what you need right now.
April 20th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I know I have to break all contact with this man, change email and mobile number to put an end to this. I feel I am on the way up from the pit and start to feel much better. It feels good to know that you have as many as you can talk to when it feels bad and I want to thank you for all the feedback I have received and all the support.
April 21st, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Hi Anki
You don’t need to change your mobile number, just block his number and block his email address. If he uses a different email just block that too .. DO NOT answer, even to say you know it’s him because that is communicating with him. Don’t answer at all. If you answer your phone and it’s him just put the phone down, don’t speak.
Trust me he will get bored and move on to the next victim soon enough.
April 19th, 2011 at 11:40 am
Sally PLEASE remove my email address I do NOT want scammers emailing me Thanks
April 19th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Hi Tee
Done
Sally
April 19th, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Thanks Sally i Love What You Are doing here.
April 21st, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Tee I needed this, a proper reprimand I know so well that if I do not break all contact, it will happen again. But the emotions that you’ve had for a person will not disappear overnight. Hugs
April 21st, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Anki you are most welcome but i just don’t want to see you lose money on this scammer I have emailed you I don’t know if you have received it or not but I gave you the name of a few sites that offers support to scam victims trust me you are NOT alone.
April 22nd, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Hi Anon! I have not received any mail, so send it again. hug
April 22nd, 2011 at 7:36 pm
There isn’t any way to send each other emails through this site, I am the only with access to email addresses.
If you send me the email Anon I will forward it to Anki.
April 24th, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Hi Anonn! I got your message from Sally. Is it you who is also Tee, I mean are you the same person?
April 24th, 2011 at 8:32 pm
@ Anki yes I am indeed one in the same person and I hope you found the email that sally sent you on my behalf very very helpful.
April 25th, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Hi Anon! yes sally has sent the email from you to my hotmail. I have found so much about Jenn, so now it has gone from sadness to outright anger. Bruce Collins bruce_collins@ymail.com and Jenn Smith jsmitha1@yahoo.com is the same person and the photo of Jenn, is also available on a page when I googled for Bruce email address.
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:45 pm
@ Anki I returned your email when you emailed me at my gmail account I think if not please send Sally yours and I will send sally an email to forward to you ASAP.
April 23rd, 2011 at 10:25 pm
I have passed your email on to Anki
April 26th, 2011 at 5:14 am
Thanks Sally
@Anki now that you know the truth you can better protect yourself and NEVER let this happen again those scammers change names and use pics better than they change their underwear CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION.
April 26th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
yes i will do that
May 3rd, 2011 at 12:31 am
Hi I think Im in the middle of a scam myself met a guy from manchester UK so called been chatting for a couple of weeks when he had to fly out to Legos and so called stuck there he sent me the biggest bouquet of red roses you have ever seen then the next day he was beaten up him and his driver … hid driver in a coma but they had taken all johns cards and cash .. he asked me for £500 but i told him i hadn’t a penny to give him as being a single mum i can bearly keep my head above water he hasn’t asked me since we are still in contact at the moment and he is still over there… now for someone who lives in manchester his photos he sent via email the IP address is stockholme and domain is coming up as 3 but dont know if that means the 3 network or the actuall shop anyway i do have my head screwed on but enjoying the detective work i do have photos, IP address email address and phone number also he goes by the name of john roberts….. so if anyone can help me pursue this info i would be gratefull
May 4th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
Hi Sue
Ah the dreaded outbreak of coma’s in Nigeria … have a read of this http://www.country-couples.co.uk/datingtips/in-a-coma-in-nigeria-online-dating-scams/
It’s a scam … if he was British and stuck in Nigeria, having been robbed don’t you think he would go to the Embassy in Lagos? Or perhaps call his bank to arrange a money transfer?
I know the detective work is interesting but to be honest there are better ways to spend your time … block, delete and move on Sue.
Please can you post the information you have on him so others are warned … thank you.
May 5th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
hi i just wanted to say thanks. i had let a man whose profile picture was of us army fellow add me on skype. he wanted to be friends because he was coming to my country for a 4 week holiday. there was clue 1 Americans would have said Canada. anyways i did end of sending him 3 pictures but was wise enough to stop at the ‘please except my trunk box and it will only cost 800 lbs’. i did send an email he composed to an address at united-nations in London. hope it didn’t break a law.i was not interested in dating just a curious person.so just wanted to let you know it happens there too. i haven,t found anything on skype how to deal with it just deleted him and deleted him on my msn. jackie
May 27th, 2011 at 2:12 pm
i think I may be the victim of a dating scammer, I’m not sure but something doesn’t add up, I have looked through many of the sites on scammers, but my man doesn’t fit any of them, and i have to admit he is very convincing, i swing from believing him to not believing him, its all like being on an emotional rolla costa.
i met him on an over 50′s dating site, I actually saw him and buzzed him for a chat because he looked so cute, we began chatting on site and he asked me to go to the yahoo chat, which I did, after a few days he was in love with me, and I admit I fell for his charms, after a couple of weeks he said he needed money to send his daughter on a school, trip, (£1,800) some trip, I said I didn’t have it, and he lowered the amount saying he would try get a freind to help with the rest. then he wanted me to send a mobile phone for his daughter, (which I admit I did), after that he has asked for money 4 times, all around £1500.
i have given him some money which I guess is why he is still around,
but he doesn’t behave like a normal scammer, he is not the most attentive of people, sometimes he is late, some times he doesn’t even turn up, and when he does turn up to chat it is so hard, because he doesn’t answer striaght away, and I can be waiting 10 minutes for an answer..
he has attempted to get home to me twice and claims he will be home this weekend for good??
he is adamant he is not a scammer (I asked him) and that he is not wanting anything except my love.
I am confused because he is not following the normal pattern of a scammer and some of what he tells me I can prove to be right,
but he is reluctant to give much about himself away
he says he is at present in UK sorting out is failing biz. (which he asked for help with) and will be home this weekend.
May 28th, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Hi Shiela
Sorry but it sounds like classic scammer to me. Do you know the name and whereabouts of this failing biz? If so use the ask a dating question at the top of the blog to let me know and I will check it out .. as I am in UK.
May 28th, 2011 at 10:18 am
Hi its me again, (shiela) I just did the IP tracker thing, and now I am more confused than ever, the first email he sent me was from America, and then a few weeks ago when he claimed to be working someplace he couldn’t tell me about, he was in Germany???
so far all my investigation find are stuff that prove his story,
none of the emails come from Nigeria or any place close
I have done various checks but nothing trips him up
?? any idea’s anyone,
could this be the one guy that is telling the truth,
or am just clutching at straws
I’m confused
May 28th, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Hi Shiela
He could be using a proxy server, this hides his true ip address but will bounce him around the world. See my other answer for how to proceed.
May 29th, 2011 at 1:04 am
I received a reply to my profile on an online dating site. I soon realized after corresponding with this jerk for a few days that he was a scammer. So then I had fun trying to trap him. He said he had a wife who was “tragically killed in a car crash” and left him to care for his 12 year old son. He said he was a “gold buyer” who traveled a lot, but listed his hometown near mine. He went to Africa on a gold buying trip and e-mailed me a stock photo of all the gold he was buying (took me less than a minute to find the same picture myself). I kept waiting for the shoe to drop and then… it did!
Oh my, his hotel room got broken into and everything (except his computer) was stolen. He then asked me for money and that’s when I responded with all of the stuff I had on him. Needless to say, he ran like a jack rabbit.
I still join online dating sites, but now I can spot a scammer a mile away. In my research, I’ve found that although some scammers are difficult to catch, there are a few things you can look for when someone responds to your profile. Here are some red-flags:
1. Bad grammar and bad Enlgish and an absence of spell-check
2. Usually a very generic name, with numbers after it, like “just4u123″ and usually a Yahoo or hotmail account.
3. They will send you a sappy poem or call you “Honey” or “Sweetie” the first time they contact you.
4. They usually try to get you to communicate outside of the protection of the site. They give you their personal e-mail and they want you to give them yours. They tell you they are using a “trial” version of this site and it will expire soon, so they want you to give them your e-mail right away.
5. TThey are usually working all the time and they have an occupation that requires them to travel a lot–like construction or engineering. This should make you wonder why you would want to get involved with someone who is never home anyway.
6. They usually are widowed with a sappy sob story about how their spouse died “in their arms on Valentine’s Day”.
7. They profess undying affection for you right away–(which is very creepy anyway,even if they aren’t scammers!)
8. They want personal information from you so that they can send you presents (and some actually DO!) NEVER, EVER give them ANYTHING!
9. Their picture looks almost too model perfect-Chances are, they’ve stolen someone’s image without their knowledge.
These people are true crooks who are most likely using a stolen credit card, using a fake profile and picture to bilk lonely people out of their hard-earned money. Don’t be a desperate victim. It’s better to be alone than be a victim of a crime. There are truly good people and dating sites out there. Just be smart and beware.
May 29th, 2011 at 7:10 am
thankyou very much, thats very useful advice. I am a little nervous as he already has my name and address, I gave it to him months ago, I also admit to giving him money, although thankfully I realized what may have been going on in time to stop. he has no other details on me.
these people are very good at what they do, and he had me hooked for a while. I’m just not sure how to play it now, do I just cut him off an ignore him completely or do I play it along for a while see what other info I can get out of him?? he will not doubt come back to chat later with some sob story as to why he couldn’t make it home, I am begining to see a pattern in his behaviour.
he claims to be 59, widowed for 13 years with a 16 year old daughter,
worked as a civilian for the army (UN) says he is a nuclear chemist (very impressive).. but also says he has a shipping business, moving oil, although I can’t get anymore info out of him on this
after only a week he claimed to be in love with me, after a month he was attempting to go AWOL, but got caught, poor man, then he said his contract had ended and he was definately on his way home, but yea you guessed, he didn’t make it, said he had to go to Bath and sort out his business first, but would be home this weekend for definate, and yes you guessed its sunday and he’s not here??
I have no doubt he will be on line later with some excuse.
i am very glad sally told me about the proxy server, because I had tracked the IP address to Rotherham, which made me nervous as that is way to close to where I am.
i have had all sorts of stories from him, from his account being blocked, to needing BTA, and needing £4500. in order to get some guy in to take over his job so he can leave and come home to me.
I am at the moment baiting him with another woman (she doesn’t exsist, I made her up and created another account to fool him with) so far its working, but I’m not sure whether to continue with my bogus woman, and chat myself to him as well, or whether to just ignore him now and call it a day.??
May 29th, 2011 at 2:15 pm
A civilian can’t go AWOL lol.
As for the baiting … if you want to be 100% sure so you can put this behind you then carry on but if there is a 1% chance you will fall for another of his lies then simply block and delete. I know it sounds silly that a victim would fall for their lies after they are aware it’s a scam but it happens quite regularly, the scammer often decides to confess and explain how they only did it to pay for university and/or take care of their sick young sister/cousin/mother/etc. Of course this would register as another scam but not at 2am when you are feeling lonely and miss the affection he showered you with. So be careful.
May 29th, 2011 at 7:30 am
also
I have this urge to track down the guy in the photo’s he gave me,
just to warn him that his photo is being used by scammers
not sure where to start, or how to do this though
or even if its wise, I don’t want to wreck the poor mans life, or cause trouble for him
but I would like to find out who he really is and just warn him.
ummm maybe thats not such a great idea eh?
May 29th, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Not a good idea Shiela but 95% of victims feel this way. While there is a nobel side to what you are feeling there is also the side which hopes the person in the pictures is in fact single, romantic and all the things you thought the scammer was … basically you are looking for the true version of the person you felt you had online. BAd idea because they don’t exist, only more pain lies down that road I’m afraid.
Also think about if you got an email from a total stranger saying hey your photos are being used to cheat people out of money and your photos are attached to the email … how would you feel? What could you actually do about it? Nothing other than feel terrible and lose sleep.
May 29th, 2011 at 7:31 am
the guy in the photo is not a model,
they are just plain ordinary photo’s of an ordinary guy
nice, and he is attractive, but they are not photo’s out of a magazine or model place.
May 29th, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Hi Sheila
Scammers have largely stopped using models photos because that part of the scam is so widely known now they just can’t get away with it. Remember scammers evolve with the information anti-scam groups publish (rather like a bank robber who changes the way he works when new security systems are introduced). Model websites (where scammers used to download pics from) have largely made it extremely difficult, if not impossible, to download pictures … so they moved to social networking sites and also swapping pics. So if we were scammers and I was chatting to a man and you a woman we would ask to see pics and simply send them on to each other to use in our scam.
May 29th, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Yes I guess your right, thanks for the advice.
I did fall for this guy, and it hurts more than I thought.
I look at the photo’s he sent me, and I then take the profile he gave me, the character he built up and I put the two together, its hard to seperate them, to me there one person, and its a guy I fell for.
its almost like an addiction, I find myself turning on the laptop in the hope that he is there, just to chat to, I truly never thought I would fall for such a thing, but here I am.
sad I know, but the effect this has had on me is profound,
even when I began to suspect he was a scammer, I still found myself
hoping other wise, even making excuses for him.
maybe its time to just ditch him and move on.
i don’t know why I find this so difficult, I even baited him with a girl I created myself, she doesn’t exsist, I made her up, and when he took the bait and emailed her, I was jealous, it hurt, to see him say to her all the things he said to me was painful.
this guy even phones me from time to time, and his accent does sound nigerian, but I accepted his explanation that he was Cajuan, (because I wanted to I suppose)
yea your right, time to bury it and move on I think.
I lost money and a mobile phone, but I am thankful I did not get into debt, and I am able to pick up the pieces and move on, all be it slow and with a slightly bruised heart and pride.
for me loosing the money was one thing, but more than that its the heartache and pain when you find out you have been had, the emotional pain is the hardest part to deal with, its almost like a breavement. (my husband died a year ago so I know what I’m talking about), i did actually fall in love with this man, stupid as that sounds. and yes when I found out the truth I cried, I am still finding it difficult to come to terms with, so maybe it is time to cut all communication with him.
thankyou very much for all your doing here on this site, I have found your advice both helpful and comforting.
thankyou very much..
May 29th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
you know there is one more thing about this scammer that really hurts
he even spent time getting to know my 30 year old son, chatted to him, emailed him, telling him he was coming home, that he loved his mum and all he wanted was to come home and take care of us..
the lengths this guy went to.?
i haven’t heard from him for a couple of days, the last I heard was friday when he said he was ill, so I’m half expecting a chat or email asking for money for medication??
i am wondering though as I did the IP address thing, maybe thats what he has done too and found out that me and my bait are from the same PC in which case he will be onto me and I may not hear from him again.
that I guess is good, so why do I feel sad
these people really are something else.
they are very good at what they do, there is no denying that, and they know exactly what buttons to push.
thanks for all your help,
this site is a great help.
May 29th, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Hi Shiela
You feel sad because there is now a big hole where affection and attention used to be .. even if it was faked. We all crave love and feel lonely when we want to be in a relationship so it’s perfectly normal. You now have to go through a grieving process, as you do when a real relationship breaks down because for you it was real.
The hardest times will be in the wee small hours or whenever it was you had most contact with him. Either join a forum or just come here and post your feelings when those moments hit you.
He is unlikely to check your ip addresse, they assume we have no idea they are a scammer so we are honest about who we are.
Oh dear just read your other post … so sorry you lost your husband. So yes of course you know about the grieving process.
Best to just cut all ties before you enter into their world of deceipt and game playing, it’s not a pretty place and you need to be somewhere comforting and safe now.
Yes they know exactly which buttons to push and they know exactly who is likely to fall for it. It’s not sad that you fell for him, it’s sad that people do this to others without the slightest feelings of guilt.
As you say you didn’t get into debt or lose your home, as some victims do, so chin up, be proud of the decent person you are and move forward to find your real Mr Right. x
May 29th, 2011 at 8:23 pm
i am looking for help…… my brother in law has recently come into contact with a woman who was supposedly in a refugee camp in africa… she said that she would send him a cheque for 250,000 euros for helping to try and get her out… however the catch was that he had to pay £3,000 to recive the cheque. he has now sent the money and coincedently there is a problem, DHL are not insured to carry that amount of money at any one time. this womans name is ‘DIANA ZIKAH’, she has also claimed to be inheriting £4 million pounds from her late father… he has had many complications with trying to recieve this money. furthermore she has claimed that a priest has been keeping hold of the cheque, this was clearly to gain in trust, as you all know a priest is meant to be someone you can have faith in and TRUST. i am trying to search for this woman however i dont know what internet dating site she is on. if ANYONE has heard of this type of scam before please please try to post me on this page, it would be greatfully appriciated,
Many thanks
JM
May 29th, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Hi missMc
Yes it’s a total scam called the 419 scam … just google it and show your brother.
May 29th, 2011 at 9:14 pm
its so nasty that someone can do that to a person. its awful! thank you just about to google it now…..
many thanks
May 29th, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Hi missMc
after your comment went live I had a Nigerian ip address leave a letter …. does you brothers letter/email begin something like this?
My Dearest.
How are you today? I am very happy for your respond to the mail I sent to you.
My name is miss Sera Madhib from Darfur Region of Sudan l am 22 years and presently I am residing in the refugee camp hee in Dakar Senegal as a result of the death of my family by the rebels
My father and my mother were killed by rebels in our residence house in the capital city Darfur. My late father Dr.Morgan Madhib, was the Chairman, Madhib Oil and Gas Company a private extracting oil firm in Darfur before He was killed with my mother one early morning by the rebels as a result of the civil war that is going on until now in Sudan.
May 29th, 2011 at 11:36 pm
thankyou so much for the help and advice, it really does help
its late almost midnight, and I am up, feeling tearful,
no one to talk to, and no one would understand anyway, they would only say I am a fool, loosing sleep over such an idiot.
I guess its good that I have not heard from my scammer in 2 days now,
so why does it hurt so much.
i need to move on, leave this experience behind me, but its hard.
you fall in love with the image they give you, and then when they think they can’t use you anymore they just leave.
but how do you turn love off??
even if that love a lie.
trying to come to terms with what has happend, with having to admit I was fooled, and even allowed myself to be fooled.
I gave this guy money, quite a few thousand actually, and a phone
thankfully I am not bankcrupt.
but its more than the money, its the heartache
you can pick yourself up from the money, and all be it slowly, build up your funds again.
but how do you deal with the empty feelings, the heartache
yes this guy is a fraud, a theiving, lying, user, who doesn’t care.
but I care.
and it hurts.
thanks again for listening and for caring
good night.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:10 am
Hi sheila wood! I understand exactly how you feel. I read about your feelings and it’s just the way I feel it myself. The feelings that you get for a man who they thought would come, and when you finally realize that you have been scammed by a scammer, it’s awfully heavy. I’ve been where you are emotionally and there are some days that it’s really heavy still with much pain and tears. I just want you to know that you are not alone, we are many with you and who understands you. I had a while back so bad so I did not know how I would be able to live on. But I have found so much support from others who have been affected, to be honest, I thought I was alone on this. Sally has helped me a lot and then I found Bubbles inside Scamwarners which is an incredible support to me. So when it will be days that are heavy, I know that there is support to get and it feels good. I think of you Hugs from Anki
May 30th, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Anki
thankyou so much for that, it helps so much to know your not alone.
at the moment I am still in the grieving stage, and it hurts so so much, I was up in the night, and as I write this I am still crying,
I felt like the only woman who could be had, and I felt weak and stupid, like I should have seen the signs earlier, these scammers are so clever, they know exactly which buttons to press. and I openly admit to falling head over heels in love, stupid thing is, that even when I began to suspect him, I still made excuses for him, and still met him to chat. knowing who is really was, didn’t effect the way I felt, does that sound crazy?
now it feels like my heart has been ripped out, (dramatic I know, but thats how I feel)
I know I need to move on from here, I know the man is a scammer, and the guy in the photo’s I was given is just another poor victim just like me. but its so very hard.
my heart is broken, and the tears flow so easily at the moment,
i guess I am grieving for the man I fell in love with, a man that doesn’t really exsist, but that doesn’t make the pain any easier does it?
i am so grateful for people you and sally, and sites like this, the support you get here is vital and important in the healing process,
and I just hope that I can maybe be of some small support to others in the future too.
thankyou so much agin
and the hug is very needed
thanks
May 30th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
I don’t know if this link will work or not
but has anyone else seen this
opened my eyes I can tell you
sheila
thanks again for the support
http://www.bbc.co.uk/crimewatch/solved/howtheycaught/ghana_datingscammers.shtml
May 30th, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Have seen it Sandra, was very good.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
my scammer just turned up again
he just text me, says he has been quiet because he has been feeling down????
I’ll give him feeling down,.
I am tempted to be here to chat when he comes to fish for more info
but not sure if its a great idea
this man has me mad now, he asked me the other day to put credit on his phone, because it was all used up,
so how has he managed to text me now,??
I am guessing some other poor victim toped up for him
this makes me so so sad, and also very angry that they just get away with all this
May 30th, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Best to just ignore it Sheila.
May 30th, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Sheila! Believe me you do not see signals than it is to late. They are professional at what they do, and it’s just like being brainwashed. It is totally blind to what is going on. I read your letter to the editor and it’s just like I wrote it myself every word. I do not know if you’ve read what I have written on this page, but I have written what I have gone through. It starts to feel better but there are still some days that is incredibly hard with a lot of tears. I wish you the best, and would you write to me have sally my email address. Hugs, thinking of you. Anki
May 30th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
thanks
i am just feeling so low at the moment, this hurts so much
I could use that hug
how do I give sally my email so that you can get it??
thanks for the support,
I am just going to read what you wrote on here now
yes I know your right, and if I am totally honest with myself I was kinda happy when he emailed, its hard to let go isn’t it
you still hold on to that thin tread of hope that this time everyone is wrong, and your man is genuine.. but yes in my heart I know he is only back for one thing..
hurts though
thanks
May 30th, 2011 at 8:39 pm
I am the only person who can see email addresses Shiela, I have emailed you from my personal account.