Dating Tips and Advice | Dating Blog

What have national characteristics got to do with online dating? It is not often I would suggest we Brits follow the Americans in anything but online dating is something they are just much better at because they don’t have a stiff upper lip.

National characteristics, whilst a huge generalisation, do tend to have some truth to them. Take for example the Americans, we see them as loud and very brash, whereas they see us Brit’s as reticent and stuffy. Let us be honest, both have some truth to them. This also applies in the online dating scene.

The Americans have an entire industry making a fortune beavering away writing people’s profiles for them, taking the perfect profile photo and generally ‘attacking’ online dating with their usual gusto. Just look at Daring Profile a dot com company that for a fee will write a dating profile or personal ad and for a further fee enhance your photo (I think that means making you look younger/thinner/prettier?).

Oops I just googled “perfect dating profile photo” and the google images seem to show that in the US a head shot simply will not do but you have to stand sideways in a rather un-natural position so your boobs are jutting out. Okay so maybe the Yanks have taken it a little too far.

However, compare that to us Brit’s, with our reluctance to shout about our better qualities and natural urge to mention our less appealing habits. How often I see profiles that say little more than ‘woman seeking man, age 35, losers need not apply. I am kind, sensitive and going through a bitter divorce’. There is no photo, no information about themselves and then they sit and wait for people to contact them. These people honestly believe someone will beat down their door and sweep them off their feet. WHY?

Who in their right mind would respond to such a profile (or non-profile as the case may be). After a couple of months with no response they give up and say online dating doesn’t work. Well what a surprise and I thought you would be so popular (oh yes, we Brit’s are rather fond of sarcasm too).

It really is time we Brit’s got to grips with ourselves and online dating. It is not a crime to tell people something about yourself – honestly the police won’t be round to arrest you (unless you admit to robbing a bank last week). A good profile should be a minimum of 200 words but no more than 300 (some of which would be about the person you are looking for). Yes that’s right, it is a short essay but how else are people going to decide if you are the person they are looking for or are interested in getting to know?

Now, I am not suggesting we go down the road of the Americans and start jumping on sofa’s on national telly (is there anyone alive that doesn’t know what I am referring to?). There is a limit to how much we would feel comfortable crowing about ourselves but let’s be honest, online dating itself takes us reticent Brit’s to the edge of our comfort zone but to be really successful at online dating you need to step slightly over to the other side. It usually takes a few attempts to get your profile right, ask for honest feedback from members you are chatting to and then adjust your profile accordingly.

An online profile is just like writing a cv or job application, everyone expects a little exaggeration but in the same way that you want to get that job you also want to find someone to date or you wouldn’t be joining a dating site. So stop being so British, metaphorically jump on the sofa and sell yourself – as my Auntie Mary always says “shy bairns get nowt”.

If you do want to splash out to get that perfect profile photo then just pop your postcode in to Perfect Dating Profile and find professional photographer near you. I never recommend putting up a profile photo that looks too professional but a professional photographer should be able to take a relaxed, natural looking shot that makes you look your best – just say no to the feather boa!