Dating Tips and Advice | Dating Blog

Ladies you know when we are having a girly day out and meet someone we know and say “you’ve had your hair cut, it makes you look 10 years younger” we can actually mean what we are saying or we can mean “bloody hell woman you look like an old hag”?!

We know the difference simply by the facial expressions and subtle tones in our voices but this form of communication only exists between women (and our gay friends of course). Men on the other hand have absolutely no idea what we are talking about, they take what we say at face value.

When we say to a man “fine” he actually thinks we mean it’s fine, I know it’s ridiculous but men are very simplistic verbally and tend to say what they mean and rather stupidly expect us to do the same.

Last year my husband announced his friends were flying into Sharm for a holiday and he wanted to go and spend 4 days with them. Excellent idea said I, I’ll book myself a hotel in another part of town, we can travel together and I can have 4 days of sun, swimming and reading a good book. He just needed to drop me off and pick me up when it was time to go home.

The fighting started when he said he wouldn’t be able to have fun if he knew I was around. Ahem!!! Now, my husband isn’t one for cheating, his extra marital affair is with football and quite frankly if a beautiful woman danced around in front of him naked he would tell her to move out of the way of the telly (I may be exaggerating there slightly, he does actually have blood in his veins), so that isn’t what I was worried about.

Don’t worry I am getting to the point. I explained that I didn’t even want to see him during the trip but I did need a holiday, all to no avail, the fighting continued for two days. Eventually I went through the anger barrier to that quiet even voice we girls get when we are really really mad and I said “fine, go and have a nice time”.

Ladies you all know what I meant by this …. “if you don’t want sex for the next 6 months then go” ….. but being a man he was oblivious, packed a bag and left. I then had 4 days to seethe and seethe I did.

On his return he was met by a rather unfriendly wife to put it mildly and in total innocence he said “but you said to go and have a nice time”.

The moral of the story is, when speaking to a man say what you mean. If you want him to do something then tell him so, if you don’t want him to do something again say so. Don’t hint at it, don’t assume he knows “fine” means “if you dare”.

This is most important in the dating stage of a relationship, as that is where relationship boundaries are set. Don’t spend 6 months eating at his favourite Italian restaurant and then during a fight say “I hate Italian food” or tell him it’s “fine” that he flirts with your friends if in fact it isn’t.

For a relationship to work good communication is the key. So if you want him to switch the tv off and help you with the washing up then don’t say “fine you sit there and I’ll do it” because guess what he will do!!