You’ve only hung out 8 times, even in a normal dating scenario I wouldn’t expect someone to declare they are in a committed relationship at this stage. You haven’t said why your engagement was broken off but my guess is you are pushing this person too fast and too hard in order to feel that you are in a committed relationship again. Just lighten up a bit and see where it goes.

Unfortunately women are often confused when a man states it’s just FWB and then does the romance and snuggling thing but men are people, they need affection too.

Please read back what you have written. You say you are in a relationship by yourself with this FWB person but I want to point out two things:

1. You are not in a relationship with him, you are simply being used by him. He told you very clearly this was about sex and nothing else, so please stop telling yourself that this is a relationship.

2. You are talking about a relationship with this person and then say you are in a relationship with your boyfriend. You have to decide why you are with your current boyfriend. Clearly you are not committed to this relationship because you have cheated on him. Are you perhaps using him to get the emotional support you need but are not getting from your FWB?

I’m so pleased to hear he is ignoring you, take this as a sign and move on, no matter how difficult that is. He doesn’t want you and you are just driving yourself nuts chasing him. Accept it’s over, actually accept it never really began, and then look at your current boyfriend .. is he really the man for you? If yes then start treating him with respect and commit to your relationship. If no then ditch him and find someone you can really love and receive love back from.

2 years ago I started a friends with benefits relationship with a guy who was in a relationship himself, because his girlfriend was not in the same country.they broke up after a while.no one really knows about our ‘relationship’ with each other.i have always been emotionally involved even though i know i shouldnt have deep feelings for him.he on the other hand made it clear from the start that he is not up for a committed relationship.i have been hurt many times by what he has done and said,however i still find myself trapped in this relationship.he is not even my type,and im now in a relationship myself but i have not been able to stop my feelings for him.i have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for more than a year,and i know it is wrong but i have cheated on him with my friend with benefits.my boyfriend does not know about this.things are getting messy with my friend with benefits,even though we dont sleep with each other anymore.he is ignoring me and it really hurts me that it is so difficult to even be friends now. what should i do?

Some people are happier being single but do sometimes like the human contact side of a relationship without the dirty socks and reporting in when they are going to be late home from work.

Your friend has to decide whether this is a situation he wants to get involved with or if he’s looking for more than this girl can offer, therefore better off looking for someone with similar desires. Where many people go wrong is thinking that friends with benefits relationships will naturally grow into a full relationship … they often don’t, so this is not a good reason to enter into such a relationship.

It may simply be that the mixed signals are coming because she does like your friend but doesn’t want to get into regular dating. Clearly there is a reason she has been alone for 7 years, it would be best for your friend to try to find out, sympathetically, what her motivation is for remaining single for this length of time. It may be that she is just happy that way or she may have been so badly hurt by someone her trust has been badly damaged, in which case your friend could be patient and supportive as she learns to trust him.

“Scared of commitment” isn’t always an excuse, it depends on a persons relationship history and where they are in their life. Being hurt is a chance we all take as soon as we start dating anyone, we do not go on a first date and commit for life. You have to do what feels right for you, if you need a bit of committment and he isn’t ready then you need to decide how far down that road you can let yourself travel before you need to accept it isn’t going to work out.

Your comment answers your own question. You ask whether this can work but begin by stating you are in love with her but it won’t go anywhere. It seems to me this is a good example of getting into a FWB relationship in the hope it will develop into something long lasting and that very, very rarely happens I’m afraid. Usually the person in love simply gets hurt whent he object of their affection finds someone they want to be in a relationship with.