Comments on: Friends With Benefits or Just Being Used?

By: Sally

Sally — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 13:27:46 +0000

Hi Leslie

I’m afraid I cannot advise you on this as there is no way I can read his mind.

There are several possibilities. Together you created boundaries and stepped over them, perhaps to somewhere he didn’t want to go so he is now removing himself from the situation? Alternatively he may be shocked to find he has feelings for you developing and needs time to sort his head out? Only he knows the answer and clearly he isn’t ready to tell you and may never do so.

Stop sending txts and just leave him to follow his iwn path. You sent 3 txts now without reply so he knows you have tried to contact him and if he wants to respond he will but it may take a long time, if at all.

By: Leslie

Leslie — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 06:05:15 +0000

Hi, I’m also doing the fwb thing, and I was actually the one that sugest it to him… Everything.was going so well, we would usually see once or twice a week he was super nice…. We had established some rules so that we wouldn’t fall for each other…. Well long story short, we broke a rule… He slept over and we cuddle naked after we had sex… That same day I txt him but he.didn’t respond back, then I txt him 2 more times after a few days, its been 2 weeks already and no respond… Now I’m all confuse, why is he avoiding me??? He’s never been like this, and he is a very honest guy that doesn’t really care if he hurts you by telling you the truth. So I don’t understand. We have only been doing this for a little bit more than a month…. Please give me an advice??? ):

By: Sally

Sally — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 22:37:02 +0000

Hi Luna

Should you walk away or live in hope is a question only you can anser. Are you strong enough if he says in 1 or 2 years time he still has no feelings for you?

Did his ex fiance cheat on him? Would that explain the jealousy when you text men? If so then you need to be openly honest and transparent. It will take him time to learn to trust again but it will happen .. the question is will it happen with you.

Personally I would stop the FWB relationship, simply to give him the space to miss you and perhaps realise he has feelings for you too. It will be hard to keep away from him but make sure you chat as friends so he is aware you are not actively looking for someone else … just don’t overdo it, no hour long intimate talks or getting together. If after some time he doesn’t come chacing after you then you will know its better to walk away and find someone who can care for you.

By: Luna

Luna — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 14:06:20 +0000

I’m in a FWB relationship w a guy i met thru a mutual friend. We started tlking bout it thru txt && we both agreed neither of us want or is ready for a relationship due to past gf/bfs hurting us and we both having trust issues. He told me from the beginning how hes been single for the past 2-3 yrs due to getting hurt by his ex fiance && gfs. Hes really scared && has some serious trust issues, worse then me. But the thing is, im starting to have feelings for him && i know i told him i wasnt looking for a realtionship either but i cant help the fact i have fallen for him. I have told him tht i had feelings for him && he told me he already knew but tht my feelings for him wasnt going to change the way he acts w me or stop the FWB. He admitted to me tht he “likes me” but doesnt have feelings for me && tht he might gain feelings for me later on but for the moment doesnt want a gf, but the way he talks to me, shows me differ. He gets jealous when im txting other guy friends && asks me what im doing && i have met his family too. I’m not sure if I should stop the FWB all together or should i risk the chance of getting my feelings hurt by hoping he will gain feelings for me of the hopes of him asking me to be his gf. Plzz help!!

By: Sally

Sally — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 23:24:38 +0000

Hi Jasmine

Why do you think FWB has to be devoid of any emotion or romance? Have you both discussed being FWB and agreed there is to be no emotional entanglement or are you assuming he understands this?

If you really don’t want any more than FWB then you need to nip this in the bud before he grows deeper feelings for you.

By: Jasmine

Jasmine — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 20:17:28 +0000

Hey,
I am doing the fwb thing with a guy I went to school with and I was told by one of his friends that he liked me back in high school and I am going through a divorce my husband ended it and I found the kid who went to school with me on facebook and we started to do the friends thing and now I don’t know if he wants more than the fwb because he is calling me babe, and he always wants me to lay on him, and he always says “its kinda cold you can lean up against me” I was just wondering if their is more here than the fwb?

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 15:17:30 +0000

Hi Moonlight

No that is not FWB. FWB is an agreement between 2 good friends who have no desire to date or be particularly emotionally involved with each other but who share sexual release together on a regular basis. It takes a very mature couple of friends to carry out such a friendship successfully, without one getting hurt.

By: MoonLight

MoonLight — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 10:09:12 +0000

I am not sure what I got myself into. I met this guy a 3 months ago and we hangout on the weekends we have plans to do a lot of things together. He cooks me dinner does a lot for me. He has a nickname for me and always lets me know when he is thinking of me or misses me. We live about 45 mins away so we tend to see each other only on weekends unless we meet during the week. We just over the weekend had sex and I didn’t think it was going to go that far. We spend the night together and we cuddle but it never goes further until this weekend. Is this what friends with benefits is? We do everything together. We talk on the phone daily we text, we are together on our spare time he involves me in everything he does. We have talked about relationships I came out of an 3 year engagement he came out of a divorce and well he tells me that I am scared to let down my guard. I don’t know why he tells me these things. I have never asked him what he wanted from us. We met through a mutual friend so I just thought since he was new to the area and I was to fairly we could explore together. I am just not sure what this seems to look as. I don’t want to tell anyone because I just don’t need people in my so called circle I guess about this whole situation until I have my own grasp on the situation. Thank you.

By: marlyn

marlyn — Fri, 27 May 2011 00:30:09 +0000

sup,
so im in one of these so called “friends with benefits” and its all fun but sometimes i feel jealous when he is around other girls. i know im not his gf but still i get jealous. he does get a lil tooo touchy in public and i try to keep it lowkey but eventually people will find out. i dont want people having wrong ideas about me. this really helped me and oh i forgot to mention that we did date but it didnt work out but we still enjoy all the fun stuff so thats why we agreed to stay friends….with benefits..lol
peace..

By: retty

retty — Wed, 11 May 2011 07:55:49 +0000

i know am weak and i dont hav d strength to refuse sex in the name of its noy right. except i dont like the guy, fwb is a fantastic option. for as long as he is not my soul mate, even if we date for eternity, it is bound to end in a breakup and heartbreak. isnt usually harder in the end trying to figure out if the guy was just using u? what i can say is, if you are sure that u are in love with a man or he seems like husband material then dont do fwb with him for any reason. i just met a man i admire. i am not sure we may ever love each other but i think we can have great sex so am going to have a fuck only relationship with him. and its only a matter of time ( like with even so called love relationships) till we break up. every breakup hurts me but what the heck? if i dont do it and am waiting for love how do i know anyone will ever love me? i am screwd doing fwb or not!!! relationships start and i let down my gaurd and love up. not because its a real relationship but because a guy just lied to me because he wants sex. i dont find out till a year later because he sends false love sms and cakes and flowers and stuff. we breakup nd i break down. fwb is best because each person understands what the other wants. i want love but i dont know how to recieve it or give it again. i see my peers get married every day and i wonder if that will ever happen to me. will i ever experience the kind of love that doesnt end in a sad breakdown? will i ever meet someone who will love me enough to want to marry me? i never have seemed good enough for the other person. strangely though, the last guy told me i was too good for him. see how confusing ny situation is? i throw all caution to the wind and do anything that pleases me now. if anyman will love me he will love me the way i am. i have always been taught that u hve to be a good girl to find love. its not true because all the girls who were the examples of what i wasnt supposed to be are the ones getting wed one after the other. so now am not saving myself for anyone again!