We’ve all heard the phrase, “Nobody’s perfect”, but do we really take it to heart?

When it comes to love, it seems that the answer is generally “no”. More than ever before, today’s singles (and marrieds, but that’s a different post…) have options.

Many of us truly believe that we will find the perfect partner, a soulmate who will fulfill our every need through every stage of our lives.

Staying with someone who doesn’t completely fit the bill is labeled as “settling”.

An impossible standard.

When you see it written on a page or hear it said out lout, it’s easy to see how ridiculous this trend is.

Clearly, nobody exists or should exist to meet all of your emotional needs. People change their worldview as they age. Sometimes your life partner will be out of step with you during these changes. Is it a bad thing to “settle” for someone who doesn’t completely share your viewpoints?

The answer:

The reasonable answer is to realize that sometimes a partner can only be asked to support your goals, dreams, and the changes in worldview you undergo. As long as your goals don’t break your marriage vows or personal promises to each other, and you aren’t dragging the relationship through one financial crisis after another, support isn’t an unreasonable request.

Are you in a place where you’re willing/able to support someone else?

When you enter into a committed relationship of any sort with another person, you should also ask yourself whether you can reasonably support that person as they change and mature. This isn’t a one-way street. Sometimes your partner will need more support from you than you’re getting from them. That’s an expected part of any long term relationship, and you shouldn’t consider committing to one if you’re not willing to make that type of sacrifice.

In the long run, settling isn’t always such a bad idea. If you don’t settle on some issues you’re likely to jump from relationship to relationship, never finding anyone who is worthy of your commitment. Assuming that a long-term relationship is something you want, settling for someone who truly cares about you and who tries to support you can be the key to happiness.

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at onlinedegrees.org and performs research surrounding online schools. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.

This is a question I was asked recently and finding just one gem of dating advice which covers every couple, whether newly dating or in a long term relationship, wasn’t easy.

I dismissed the dating advice on how to meet someone and fall in love, this often happens naturally, even when we don’t expect it, as doesn’t cover people already in long term relationships.

Much of the relationship advice I would give is for married couples or people in long term relationships, so this doesn’t cover those in the early dating stage.

Hmmmm, one dating tip to cover everyone in a relationship .. ok here it is ….

Never go to bed angry, always make up before you go to sleep.

Whether you live together or apart, always make up after a fight before you both go to sleep.

This isn’t a relationship tip about romance or sentiment, it’s about science.

Sleep experts tell us that while we sleep we file away the days events. Our brains don’t sleep when our bodies do, they process the days events and stabalise our memories.

Stabalising our memories makes them stronger, it’s how we remember things. Think of it like a filing cabinet, as we sleep we file away our memories for future reference.

This means if the girl at the supermarket checkout smiled and was nice to us we will file it away a pleasant experience. Two weeks later you may not consciously think about the pleasant experience in the supermarket but you will find yourself returning to the same supermarket and same checkout girl. Your sub-conscious remembers her as a pleasant experience.

In relationships we all argue sometimes, we say harsh words we really don’t mean and we usually respond in kind.

Think of a time you have gone to sleep angry. Remember as you begin to wake up the next morning feeling great but as you become fully awake you begin to remember the fight yesterday, the hurt feelings and the anger toward your partner?

If the last thing we think about before we sleep is our hurt feelings, a battered self image or feeling unloved then as we sleep those experiences will be filed away and solidified.

On the other hand, if we make the effort to make up (well we know we will eventually so why not do it now) then the last memory we file away about our partners will be pleasant, comforting and loving ones. When we wake up our memories of our partner will be happy and loving.

This doesn’t mean keeping our partner awake until 4am, when they have to get up at 7 for work, analysing every detail of your relationship. Just suck it up, say sorry and make up. Whether you roll over, say sorry and hug your partner or give them a quick call before you sleep, it’s so important not to sleep upset.

There are certain rules for a healthy relationship and also rules for arguing in a relationship which we should all try to put into practice.

Amid the forest of relationship tips and dating advice I really feel this is the one I would like all couples to take on board because it works on a subconscious level and we have no real concept of the damage we can do to our relationships if we go to sleep hurt or angry.

This is my best relationship tip, what’s yours?

Getting through the days of the week can be difficult when you are missing someone, the secret is to keep yourself busy but also find small ways to include your partner in your day to day life.

Check out these 10 gifts for long distance relationships, which are either free or cost very little and will help to keep you feeling closer.

Here are 5 dating tips for couples in long distance relationships which will help to keep your love alive despite the distance and time apart:

Day to Day Life

If you are in the early days of a long distance relationship (ie after you have met once to ensure you know who you are communicating with) then get to know about each others lives visually.

Each get a usb memory stick and fill it with photographs, these can be of your surrounding area, work, your breakfast, hobbies, new shoes, pets or friends.

Remember your new partner will be fascinated by things you find mundane, so just photograph everything and let them get to know about your day to day life.

Photo Friday

This is the age of technology so let’s use it to have some fun. Every Friday send a text to each other stating what sort of photo you want to see. This can be of your partner with the smallest dog they can find, in the shower with a garden gnome or outside a police station wearing handcuffs.

Your partner then has until Sunday lunchtime to send you the photo. Make up some fun forfeits if your partner fails to get the requested photo. Remember to keep photo albums of your exploits for later years.

Plan a Holiday

Even if you are unable to have a holiday together this year or next due to financial or time limitations, still plan a holiday together for when you are able to go away together. Don’t just decide we’ll go to Greece when we can and forget about it.

When you are apart both spend time exploring different destinations, find out about the history of the area, what there is to see or do, the local food, customs, etc … imagine you’re a travel writer and do a write up. Send each other the destinations you find out about and decide together where you would like to go and explore.

This is not only a way to give you both something to look forward to but is also a great way of learning about your long distance partners likes and dislikes.

Learn a Language

Whether it’s German, Spanish or Mandarin start to learn a new language together and send love notes in the new language.

Don’t just reach for google translate, grab a language book and start with the obvious …. I love you … ich liebe dich … te amo … wo ai ne.

Over time you will progress in the language and therefore in your ability to tell your loved one how you feel. You’ll also have a lot of fun when you get it wrong and say “you’re eyes are like jellied eels”.

Have Fun Together

This may sound obvious but many long term long distance relationships suffer because couples wait until they are together to argue, complain or decorate the spare bedroom.

Your time together is not just to sort out domestic arrangements, it should be an enjoyable time or why should your partner make the effort to travel all that way if it’s just to fight or be nagged all weekend?

Get all of the drudgery out of the way on the telephone or preferably internet (with a webcam so you can read body language) and clear the air before your partner visits you, then relax and have fun when you get time together.

I am always amazed at the amount of ebooks being sold on websites devoted to how to get your ex back.

But I have to ask the question … why would you want to read ebooks on how to get them back?

I can’t sit here and give you a formula for getting your ex back because I have no idea what went wrong with your relationship leading to divorce or the dynamics that your personal relationship is built on.

Was it a broken trust, an addiction, boredom, grown apart, money worries, etc that led to divorce or seperation?

Because it’s got to the break up stage it is way past simple internet dating advice on this blog or in a 39 dollar ebook.

Ok so your ex dumped you and you’re miserable, you miss them terribly and want them back, you can’t eat or sleep for thinking about them so you are desperately seeking any way to get them back … the answer doesn’t lie in ebooks (neither does the way to earn 1000 dollars a night while sleeping).

You can get your ex back if you are both willing to put a lot of hard work into the relationship, there is no short cut or magic wand.

Most couples that get back together go through a natural process, they still love each other but need some time and space to work out a problem or set of problems within their relationship.

They can do this themselves or through professional relationship counselling but I will bet my last pound no successful second time relationship was through the wisdom of ebooks … go on call me a cynic.

No amount of trickery is going to speed up that process or bring back someone that simply doesn’t love you anymore, so why waste your money on ebooks.

You can use any of the usual methods:

1. No contact -

This is designed to make your ex miss you like crazy and realise you are really the great love of their life when you pop back into their lives all fresh and new and sparkly having lost 20kg, got a new hair cut and taken up bungee jumping .. of course what often happens is they simply get on with their lives while you still haven’t accepted it’s over, prolonging your heartache. Basically it’s the if you love them let them go theory and if they still love you they will come back.

2. Jealousy

Yeah way to go, use someone in order to make your ex jealous. This often works … until the second honeymoon period is over and life gets back to the way it was when your ex realised they weren’t happy.

3. Emotional blackmail

You can use the kids, cry hysterically and turn into a lump of quivering jelly or as a last resort you can threaten suicide. Again this may work but only for a short period of time and why on earth would you want someone on those terms.

What I do like about the “how to get your ex back” advice which suggests no contact is at least they suggest you get on with your life.

Go get a new hobby, go socialising, get fit, find a new lease on life … why I like this plan is basically with any luck once you have done all that you won’t even remember your ex’s middle name is, you will then be on the road to getting over them.

Almost all of these how to get your ex back websites are simply trying to sell you an ebook, which of course doesn’t deal with the billion different reasons relationships break up and without dealing with the cause you can’t fix the symptoms.

So here’s what you need to know for free:

1. Is your ex already in a new relationship?

Yes .. then there is slim to no chance of getting them back, they have already moved on and you must too.

No … then there is some hope you could win them back if they are still emotionally invested in you, ask them if they would be prepared to visit relationship counselling with you and seek professional help. Leave the dramatics and blame game  out of it and talk as rational, controlled adults about your relationship problems.

2. Does your ex know why they dumped you?

Yes … if it’s something tangible (money worries, you became a couch potato, your porn addiction, your drinking habits, an affair, etc) then speak to your ex and if they can see you are really trying to change then they may wait around to see if you can change long term.

No … they say they just fell out of love with you. In this situation it is very hard to bring the love back long term. Many people fall out of love and simply can’t explain why, if you don’t know what went wrong then you simply can’t fix it but some time apart may rekinkle feelings if you keep lines of communication open and friendly (not hysterical and demanding).

3. Are you both still talking about the relationship or break up?

Yes … this is  a good sign because it means they are still emotionally invested in you. Try to meet up and calmly talk through what your ex feels went wrong with the relationship and whether it is something that can be “fixed”, maybe they would be prepared to go to relationship counselling with you.

No … bad sign, they are indifferent to you and therefore have no emotion left for you at all, time to accept it and move on.

4. Are you emotionally blackmailing them by calling them crying at 2am?

Yes … stop it, even if you manage to make them feel guilty enough to come back they are unlikely to stay long term. No strong or lasting relationship is built on guilt.

No … good, well done. Now follow the no contact rule and get on with your life. If they still care about you the phone will ring when they’re ready.

5. Are lines of communication still open?

Yes … then forget buying ebooks, they are just playing on your emotional state and current desperation. Go to the Relate website, they are professionals in relationship counselling and then discuss with your ex whether they would be prepared to work on identifiying the problems in and fixing your relationship with the help of Relate (this can be done by email if necessary).

No … again go to the Relate website but go to the if you’re seperating section. Find out about reopening lines of communication but in the meantime learn how to start moving on.

The Helpguide has some really good advice on moving on after a break up.

This may not be what you want to hear at the moment but the crying, constant phone calls, emotional game playing and the blame game is just driving them further away.

You have to take a deep breath and communicate in a calm, rational way. If your ex shows no willingness to sit down and talk then you have to give then time and space but accept they may never be ready to talk, they may just want to move on.

You can try to get professional help to rebuild your relationship, if your ex is willing or maybe it’s time to start accepting it’s over and move on but stop searching the internet for how to get your ex back, there is no magic solution.

Unlike the question should I admit to having an affair the question of whether you should admit to having had a one night stand is rather less complicated.

A one night stand is an opportunist act with someone you have no intention of seeing again. Whereas an affair is a sustained relationship with a partner outside your marriage or relationship.

If you happen to bump into that person a month later and repeat the experience you are now in the realms of an affair, saying I didn’t intend to bump into them doesn’t count .. learn to say nop to your more base desires.

Firstly you must consider what led you to have a one night stand in the first place. Are you with the right partner or do your relationships all end the same way?

We all know why it’s not ok to cheat but there are times we do idiotic things and then deeply regret them. Whether away on a lonely business trip, an alcohol fuelled night out or a moment of out of control lust, some people have a weak moment and do something they wouldn’t usually dream of doing.

Most of us know the difference between love and lust and are aware that a one night stand is about lust, while our long term relationship is about love.  However sometimes in a moment of madness one is forgotten and the other becomes imperative.

The chances of being caught or someone telling your partner are far less with a one night stand than with an affair but that is no excuse for doing it.

Is it worth hurting your partner deeply, breaking the trust in your relationship, perhaps losing your children or home, because you feel the need to be honest about it to relieve your own guilt?

Have you ever heard the saying “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”? Well in this case it’s generally true.

That is not permission to go off and have a string of one night stands behind your husband or wife’s back.

Yes you will have to carry the guilt of your one night stand to your grave but that is the price you have to pay for the decision you made when you you opted for a one night stand.

‘Forget about it and move on’ is easier said than done when guilt is keeping you awake at night but consider the alternative.
While you lie there listening to your partner happily sleeping, none the wiser, think about how they would feel if they knew. Does that knowledge change anything for the better? Will it help them to feel secure and loved?

You now feel deeply ashamed and guilty .. and so you should. However, shame and guilt are emotions, so use those emotions in a positive way and channel them toward your partner.

Every time you feel ashamed or guilty look at your partner and mentally list ten reasons why you will never do anything again to hurt them.

It doesn’t have to be February 14th to show someone you care about them, try one or more of these inexpensive valenties day gestures to show your partner you love them.

Keeping this secret and taking it to the grave with you is not about you, it is not about stopping you from getting into trouble. It is about your partner, you cheated on them and they will bear the brunt of the pain your confession will cause.

If you must confess then confide in a friend or tell a priest but allow your partner to remain unhurt and unaffected by your actions.

Take a long hard look at your partner, are they content with their life at the moment, are they oblivious to your guilt and shame. Now consider how they would look if you tell them, how long would they take to recover, if they ever do and ask yourself again .. should I admit I had a one night stand?

Have you ever noticed that bubbly, happy people tend to be more cuddly. Whereas stern, stressed out people tend to prefer their personal space not to be invaded.

A strong happy relationship needs intimacy and affection, we must take time out of our stressful lives to switch off the tv and have a cuddling session.

Many couples now only cuddle in bed, usually as a prelude to foreplay and sexual activity but can you remember when you were first dating and couldn’t get enough cuddling? It wasn’t about foreplay or duty, you just had to be touching them all the time.

It didn’t matter if you were reading a book, watching tv or washing the dishes, you needed to cuddle them, stroke their skin and kiss them lightly. There were times you cuddled them so hard you wanted to merge into one being .. over time it is all too easy to lose this intimacy.

The stresses of life, work, finances, kids, etc all detract from those intimate feelings you had at the beginning of your relationship and you begin to live side by side rather than together.

If we want to re-connect with our partners on an intimate level then this is what we need to get back to, lots of no strings cuddling.

Women generally need more physical affection than men and respond well to shows of intimacy, although it’s only fair to say men also need to be shown affection in order to feel loved.

For many women cuddling is actually much more important than sex. However if we are only ever cuddled when it’s time for sexual activity then cuddling loses it’s appeal, it becomes foreplay and not a special way to show your love and affection for each other.

In this situation cuddling can actually become a turn off, knowing that you are only being cuddled as a prelude to something else can actually start to feel like bribery and it loses it’s meaning. If your partner is not in the mood for sexual activity then they will begin to avoid cuddling if it always leads to sex.

Women can also start to avoid cuddling when they feel less attractive, those stretch marks from having kids, the weight they have gained, breasts that aren’t as perky as they once were, etc. Men can also have issues with their physical appearance over time.

This is where cuddling can come into it’s own, spending time just touching each other, running your hands over the stretch marks, snuggle into his plump tummy or cupping a slightly sagging breast as you say I love you can create a real feeling of intimacy and confidence in your relationship.

Not done because you want your weekly hump or because something bad has happened so they need comfort but because you want to spend time together and let them know you love them.

Make time for your partner, spend time cuddling and make it obvious that you are not after anything other than a cuddle. Pick up a book or magazine and pull your partner in for a cuddle as you read .. that really is a special feeling, as it takes them into your private world.

There are many ways to re-connect with a partner in a long term relationship but never underestimate the importance of cuddling.

If so you are certainly not alone. As we get older fear can stop us entering a new relationship because experience tells us it ends badly and we get hurt.

Pain is not something many of us volunteer for, either physical or emotional but in the same way a fear of flying can stop us travelling and enjoying holidays, a fear of emotional pain can stop us enjoying all that relationships and love have to offer.

It can become a phobia, standing on the precipice afraid to look down, all our limbs rigid with the fear of letting go .. so we choose the safe option and step back to our comfort zone of opting for just friendship.

You can tell yourself that you are happier in your safe little bubble but isn’t that how agoraphobia starts? You are not keeping yourself safe but shutting yourself off.

Some people can be quite happy single but many people just find ways to replace the human affection they miss. Getting a pet for hugs, joining a club so they have someone to chat to or leaving the television on even when they are not watching it, just for the company.

To deny yourself love is to deny being human and can lead to many safe but lonely years. What people are afraid of is not love or relationships but of losing it.

Whether you have lost your partner through death, betrayal or they simply stopped loving you, the hurt can be too much for some people and they would rather avoid a repeat performance. Check out these 5 tips for dating after divorce to help you prepare for getting back in the dating game.

Another problem after a long term relationship is you lose the ‘dating’ habit and tend to talk, think and act like one half of a relationship. This can be quite offputting both for the person you are dating and yourself, as dating seems less light hearted and fun.

It may be that you meet someone really special, someone you could easily fall in love with but the fear makes you keep them at arms length, suggesting ‘just friends’ would be better.

This really is not the answer because at some point you are going to need to get back in the game and then you will think back on those lost chances.

You may avoid the hurt that may or may not come but you will definately miss all the good times that come with falling in love and being in a relationship. So why give up a definate because a maybe might one day happen?

If your ‘friend’ starts dating someone you then have to deal with those emotions, perhaps jealousy or loneliness will become a problem for you.

I am not suggesting that the first opportunity that comes along you jump in with both feet, a blindfold on and hope for the best but at some point you are going to need to open up and let someone in .. just a little.

Friends is a good way to start and it is better to let the person know you have feelings for them but are afraid to take it further. This way if they also have feelings for you they are less likely to start dating someone else until you feel confident enough to go that one step further.

Don’t take it too slowly though or they may get bored and look elsewhere, keep them updated with your emotional progress so they know you are trying.

Remember, dating someone is not a proposal of marriage or a lifetime commitment, it’s just two people having fun and getting to know each other, so there is no need to be afraid of relationships or love.

I am not talking about the french maids outfit in the bedroom or dressing up to go out together but simply dressing up for him.

In many marriages and long term relationships it’s all too easy to slip into the habit of wearing makeup and nice clothes only when you go out but at home you wear sloppy sweats and no make up.

Let’s be honest none of us are inclined to don our best frock and a face full of makeup to clean the loo or if you do you perhaps need to look at why you feel that urge!

However, when we are first dating most of us would rather be seen dead (as long as we have nice undies on) than for our man to see us without makeup and a push up bra, yet as time goes on we get “comfortable” around our man.

He has heard us snore, seen us with a runny nose when we have a cold and there was that awful time we did a loud fart and he was three feet away .. so do we need to dress up for him?

Yes there is much more to your relationship now than there was in your dating days but physical attraction is still an important part of any relationship.

This relationship comfort zone is often coupled with a low sex drive, if we don’t look attractive and sexy then we don’t feel it. There is no need to wait until you are in the mood then dress up, do it the other way around, dress up first and you’d be surprised how it can change your mood.

Have you ever sat at work or in a bar and looked at other men thinking, my old fella never bothers to look or smell that good anymore? If we are honest most of us have but the downside is that most of them have done the same with women.

This doesn’t mean we are all bored with our partners and looking elsewhere, if you ask the average man in a happy long term relationship they will say they love their partner but do wish she would make the effort she used to. Same with us, we wish he would take that saggy old jumper off, have a shave and slap some smellies on occasionally .. (how many heads are now looking toward the sofa thinking “hell yeah”).

Make the first move ladies, rekindle your dating days by surprising your man and dress up for him tonight. He may well ask “what’s this all about” so just be honest and say your relationship is important to you and you want to remain attractive to each other, if he can have steak at home why would he consider pork pie outside?

If he responds well to your efforts tell him to go and take a shower and put some decent clothes on before he’s allowed to spend time with you, then cuddle up together and remember what it was like to date each other when you always dressed up for your man.

In large workplaces ‘office romances’ are inevitable but being mature and setting ground rules from the start can save a lot of problems in the future.

It has never been a good idea to date a work colleague, to the point where many companies these days have included something about it in their company policy.

It causes particular problems when one person is superior to the other in authority. Read my experience of dating a work colleague, the companies reaction and how it affected my career.

Even where favouritism is not an issue, if your relationship is known then accusations will usually lead in that direction.

However, love finds us where it can and sometimes we have to make life choices that are not just about our career.

It’s easy to think you can keep the romance until after hours but unless strict ground rules are in place and adhered to then little glances will soon become naughty little emails and giggling behind the water cooler.

After a fight in your relationship there is nothing more obvious and uncomfortable for others than hostility between you at work.

Unfortunately there is a side to office romance that is anything but romantic, you need to sit together and discuss a game plan at the start of the relationship. Remember when you have this discussion you are not only making choices about your love life but about your career too.

Some rules to consider:

1. Establish before you return to work whether you are now in a relationship or whether it was a holiday fling.

2. If it is a relationship then decide whether you are going to let it be generally known in the office or workplace. Should you discuss your relationship with Human Resources or your boss (this will depend on the company and the job posts you both hold).

3. If not then discuss how you should answer any questions should anyone get curious or suspicious and how to handle things if your secret becomes known.

4. If you do choose to make your relationship public knowledge then Keep it Professional. Don’t use your company computers to send love emails to each other, don’t sit in meetings holding hands under the table or meet in the stationary cupboard for a quick snog.

5. Consider other people’s feelings, you may be madly in love and can’t keep your hands off each other but other people are just going about their work and don’t need to be distracted.

6. What will happen if you break up? Nobody gets into a relationship anticipating a break up but they do happen so how will you handle things if your relationship doesn’t work out? Do you work in different departments and can therefore avoid each other or is your secretary suddenly going to start slamming files down on your desk and rushing out in tears?

This list of 10 rules for a healthy relationship is by no means exhaustive but is a good start to building a healthy romantic relationship with your partner.

Whether you have just started dating or are looking for ways to improve your long term relationship these rules should be taken into consideration.

1. Like Yourself

Do you surround yourself with friends you don’t like? Most people choose not to make friends with people they don’t like, so how can anyone like you if you don’t like yourself?! Learn to like yourself so you become someone others like to be around.

2. Choose Partners Wisely

It is easy to get carried away when someone new showers us with gifts or we can’t tell the difference between love and lust but are these good reasons to get into a long term relationship with someone? When choosing a new partner think carefully about them, how do they treat family and friends, would you choose that person to be a friend, are there any aspects of their character that trouble you, do you share values and goals. It is difficult to be so honest with yourself in the first rush of romance but if you are seriously thinking about investing yourself in a relationship with this person it is well worth taking time to explore.

3. Respect

Respect yourself and your partner. Have you ever seen a couple at a dinner party and one is constantly putting the other down in what is meant to be ‘funny’ stories? Or one partner is flirting with everyone in the room and ignoring their partner? This shows lack of respect either for your partner, yourself or both. Respect is essential to a good relationship but must be from both partners.

4. Teamwork

Think of yourselves as a team, you will spend years working, living and loving together. Learn to support each other and use your respective strengths and weaknesses to the advantage of your relationship. All relationships have good and bad times and it is particularly important to stay close and work as a team through the bad times, when you get to the good times again you will be amazed how strong your relationship has become.

5. Maintain Intimacy

Without intimacy relationships drift apart over time and couples can feel bored with each other. Make time to maintain your relationships intimacy. That doesn’t just mean sexual desires, pillow talk is an intimate practice as is a good snuggle on the sofa. Little touches and kisses as you both go about your day help to maintain intimacy.

6. Express Yourself

You may think you are sending signals that will leave your partner in no doubt what you want or need but they are not a mind reader. Whether you are upset about something, need more affection or simply want the couch recovered, you have to let them know verbally. In the long run you will save yourself a lot of hurt feelings because your partner was unable to “guess” what you wanted or needed and it will make them happy because they feel able to give you what you want or need in your relationship. Also if your partner is doing something you don’t like then tell them, don’t just hint and hope they get the message and stop.

7. Learn To Listen

Whether your partner wants to tell you a deep dark secret or just waffle about their day, learn to really listen to them. There is often no need to give an opinion or offer advise, just having someone that really listens to you can strengthen a relationship. When your partner speaks to you try to stop what you are doing and look at them.

8. You Are Not Always Right

Learn the rules for arguing in a relationship and don’t allow hurt feelings to turn into resentment. It is natural to think your point of view is the right one and it is hard to learn that sometimes either you are not right or there simply isn’t a right, just different points of view. Also learn what it is worth arguing about, the toothpaste tube is NOT worth a prologed fight and not speaking for a week!!

9. Say Sorry

Don’t allow pride to stand in your way, if you realise you were wrong about something then say sorry. All relationships have arguments but to have a happy relationship you must be willing to kiss and make up. Consider the importance of the argument, if it was about the toothpaste tube and you feel you were right what is the problem with apologising anyway just to finish the fight and get to the kissing part?!

10. Be Spontanious

This doesn’t mean you have to whisk them off to Paris or go bungie jumping but routine can become boring. If you know your partner will cook spag bol every Wednesday night or always washes the car at 10am Sunday morning then life becomes monotonous and it’s easy for one or both partners to look outside the relationship for a little excitement. Alter your routine sometimes, wake up on Sunday morning and decide to go to a flea market or walk in the park with bare feet. Do small unexpected things to surprise your partner and keep them interested in you as a person.