This is a question I was asked recently and finding just one gem of dating advice which covers every couple, whether newly dating or in a long term relationship, wasn’t easy.

I dismissed the dating advice on how to meet someone and fall in love, this often happens naturally, even when we don’t expect it, as doesn’t cover people already in long term relationships.

Much of the relationship advice I would give is for married couples or people in long term relationships, so this doesn’t cover those in the early dating stage.

Hmmmm, one dating tip to cover everyone in a relationship .. ok here it is ….

Never go to bed angry, always make up before you go to sleep.

Whether you live together or apart, always make up after a fight before you both go to sleep.

This isn’t a relationship tip about romance or sentiment, it’s about science.

Sleep experts tell us that while we sleep we file away the days events. Our brains don’t sleep when our bodies do, they process the days events and stabalise our memories.

Stabalising our memories makes them stronger, it’s how we remember things. Think of it like a filing cabinet, as we sleep we file away our memories for future reference.

This means if the girl at the supermarket checkout smiled and was nice to us we will file it away a pleasant experience. Two weeks later you may not consciously think about the pleasant experience in the supermarket but you will find yourself returning to the same supermarket and same checkout girl. Your sub-conscious remembers her as a pleasant experience.

In relationships we all argue sometimes, we say harsh words we really don’t mean and we usually respond in kind.

Think of a time you have gone to sleep angry. Remember as you begin to wake up the next morning feeling great but as you become fully awake you begin to remember the fight yesterday, the hurt feelings and the anger toward your partner?

If the last thing we think about before we sleep is our hurt feelings, a battered self image or feeling unloved then as we sleep those experiences will be filed away and solidified.

On the other hand, if we make the effort to make up (well we know we will eventually so why not do it now) then the last memory we file away about our partners will be pleasant, comforting and loving ones. When we wake up our memories of our partner will be happy and loving.

This doesn’t mean keeping our partner awake until 4am, when they have to get up at 7 for work, analysing every detail of your relationship. Just suck it up, say sorry and make up. Whether you roll over, say sorry and hug your partner or give them a quick call before you sleep, it’s so important not to sleep upset.

There are certain rules for a healthy relationship and also rules for arguing in a relationship which we should all try to put into practice.

Amid the forest of relationship tips and dating advice I really feel this is the one I would like all couples to take on board because it works on a subconscious level and we have no real concept of the damage we can do to our relationships if we go to sleep hurt or angry.

This is my best relationship tip, what’s yours?

I am often asked how to deal with rudeness on online dating sites and after the first date.

There are three distinct catagories of dating rudeness I can think of and while they vary in degree they are all unnecessary and are definate dating don’ts.

For reasons known only to themselves some people think that because you are virtually anonymous on an online dating site it gives you the freedom to be rude to people.

Politeness costs nothing, only a moment of your time and in some cases makes you the bigger/better person.

If you have experienced any other forms of rudeness with online dating please leave a comment and let us know about your experiences.

Rude Messages

I have experienced this first hand when I was dating online, receiving messages asking if I was really that fat/tall/boring/sarcastic or whatever.

There are also the messages that tell you what’s wrong with you .. yes people actually browse online dating profiles and send messages to say what they don’t like about you!

People … get a life. There are millions of people online you will not be attracted to, so just click the next button and move on.

What this says about you is you can’t get a date for love nor money so you need to ‘act out’ your frustrations by trying to make others feel as low about themselves as you do.

If you receive any messages like this, delete them .. this is your dating don’t .. don’t respond. Do not give a second thought or wonder why a total stranger would think these things about you .. it’s their problem not yours.

This is basically an extention of the comments you see on blogs, I don’t mean ones that constructively disagree with your post but the ones that just say this is sh*t or describe what they want to do with their private parts.

This is not unique to the internet, you hear it on radio talk shows and read it in letters to editors. Some people clearly have mental frustrations which they release in any anonymous fashion they can.

If you don’t like something then move on, nobody can write something everyone will love and agree with and nobody can be attractive to everyone of the opposite gender.

Perhaps our society has fostered this rudeness by it’s ever widening freedom of speech? I know my mother taught me that if I can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all.

If you get these messages and feel the need to react in any way then use the dating sites forum and start a thread called Get a Life .. post their messages on the thread and shame them into stopping because I bet they aren’t just doing it to you.

Ignoring Polite Approaches

This is when you take the time to browse profiles and find the  courage to send that first polite introductory message.

You then wait … and wait … and wait.

It’s like life before the internet (if, like me, you can remember that far back) when someone you were dating said they will call but when they don’t you go to check the dial tone on the telephone in case it’s broken.

It really would have been kinder just to call and say thanks but I’m not interested in dating you again.

Most online dating services will allow you to save message templates. It only takes a moment to respond with a saved message saying “thanks for your message, I’ve checked out your profile but don’t feel we have enough in common but I wish you luck in your search”.

This politely but firmly lets the sender know you are not interested but doesn’t leave them in limbo wondering if you have read their message and will reply.

Remember the saying .. treat people as you would like them to treat you.

After the First Date

So you’ve chatted for a while and decide to meet for a first date. After lunch you say your goodbye’s and tell them you will speak soon, knowing you have no intention of seeing them again.

They send a quick text or message later that day to thank you for the date and they hope to hear from you soon.

You delete it and forget you ever heard their name. Unless they were offensive on your date, that is simply rudeness.

Ok so you thought they were boring, weird, too flirtatious or you simply didn’t find them attractive but remember that you were interested enough to arrange to meet them, so they can’t be all bad.

They are a person with feelings and an ego, just like you. Ask yourself, wouldn’t you prefer to be told thanks but no thanks instead of being ignored?

Conclusion

If you find it necessary to write rude or offensive messages to strangers then you have serious confidence problems and need professional help to deal with your internal issues.

Ignoring people that make a polite effort to communicate with you is arrogance. They may be trying to date out of their league or you may just get too many approaches to be bothered dealing with them all (lucky you) but how much effort does it really take to click a button and let someone know you aren’t interested?!

It may be that you feel uncomfortable saying thanks but no thanks, particularly if you have been communicating for some time but most people feel much better about a rejection than being totally blanked.

This is not someone you plan to meet again so there is no need for embarrassment, just send a short decisive message and let them know they won’t be hearing from you again .. let them move on quickly.

It really is time we get back to be polite people and stop all this rudeness in online dating.

Like a fitness programme, it won’t work by sitting on your sofa and reading books about getting fit or meeting that someone special.

In order to be successful at online dating you have to actively take part, not sit on the side lines and wait for someone special to happen along and pick you for their team.

Passive Daters

These are people that are unsure about even joining a dating site. Perhaps they feel there is still a stigma attached to online dating, they may not believe it can really work, are afraid of rejection, perhaps are not very confident about themselves or simply don’t have a clue what to write about themselves.

Passive daters will fill out the bare bones of a profile, often inserting “will tell you later” or “send me a message and ask me” if they can’t think of an imaginative answer to a question. They are unlikely to put a photo on their profile and very rarely contact other members, instead they sit back and wait for people to contact them .. they will likely even forget they have joined the site unless an email arrives.

Imagine going out on a Saturday night .. you don your best clothes but haven’t bothered ironing them, pop your sunglasses and a floppy hat on and drag yourself out. You go to a bar or restaurant and sit in the corner reading a book waiting and hoping that someone will notice you and stop by your table to say hello.

It doesn’t sound like a recipe for dating success does it? That is the equivalent of a passive online dater and the same result will usually happen .. not a lot, other than disappointment.

You may be lucky and an active dater will stop by and say hello but why would an active dater contact someone with a half-hearted profile, no photo and who hasn’t logged into the site for over a month? As they make up less than 20% of the online dating scene the chances of an active dater contacting you are really quite slim.

If you are a passive dater then it’s time to change your ways if you really want to meet someone, have a quick read of why we Brits need to be more like Americans when it comes to dating profiles.

Start by choosing a good dating profile username as this is the first thing other members will see and a username like “Bored & Depressed” may just put them off a little.

Your profile doesn’t have to be written by Shakespeare or make people roll around the floor laughing, it simply has to be informative, a reflection of who you are. If you’re not sure where to start then get searching and read other peoples profiles, find ones you find interesting and work out what makes them stand out from the crowd.

Upload a recent photo, statistics show that having a profile photo improves your chances of dating success ten fold. Even if you mark it as private so it can’t be seen by everyone but at least other members will know you have a photo so if they contact you there is a chance of seeing it.

Profile Photos are so important I write about them a little too often, check out mistakes women make with profile photos and mistakes men make with profile photos, it can mean the difference between finding that someone special and being overlooked so why not make a little effort and get a good photo for your profile.

Now start searching profiles, find people you like the sound of and send a message saying hello. Some people will initially send a flirt or add someone to their friends list to get the other person to come and read their profile and hopefully reciprocate .. I call this the peek a boo game and don’t recommend it but it’s better than not contacting people. It is better, if you have the confidence, to simply send them a message introducing yourself and always say something or ask a question that shows you have read their profile, not just looked at the photo.

Active Daters

This isn’t a polite term for a serial dater, out every night with someone new. An active dater believes online dating can work, they often know someone that has met their partner online and they actively go after what they want .. to meet someone to date.

They will take time to write an informative and interesting profile, often editing their profile from time to time. Their profile will display a current photo of them (rather than their car or pet) and they will spend time searching profiles and sending messages to people whose profiles they enjoy.

It’s true you have to be a little thick skinned for online dating at times, not everyone will send polite messages or even answer but active daters don’t let this put them off.

Active daters will log in to the site regularly to see who has recently joined, they will send out messages and keep their profile updated. They are also much more likely to succeed simply because they are making the effort to find what they want.

If you are an active dater you may not be meeting as many people as you would like to online but you are over half way there, you are putting in the time and effort. If this isn’t getting the results you were hoping for then ask yourself if you are on the right dating site for you, how to choose a good online dating service is written for first timers but has some good tips if you think you may be on the wrong site.

Please learn the art of rejection, nobody likes a rejection but there is a way to do it nicely and it’s better than being ignored completely. Be polite and friendly when online dating, whether you are a passive or active online dater.

It’s easy to think or say “it’s just a bit of fun and nobody will get hurt” but the reality of these arrangements is more often than not a broken friendship and emotional pain for one participant.

The worst reason to get into a friends with benefits relationship is fooling yourself that it can start out this way and will develop into a full blown romantic loving relationship … the odds are it won’t and you will just get hurt and used.

If you are tempted to get into a friends with benefits relationship, perhaps in order to keep loneliness at bay for a short time or until Mr/Miss Right comes along, then you may wish to consider these points before agreeing to be a “friend with benefits”.

Men and Woman ARE Different

Usually in friends with benefits relationships men are after the benefits and women are after the friendship, sorry men but that’s the honest truth. Firstly we have to understand the difference between love and lust and decide what we are really looking for.

A night in with a friend, a pizza, weepy video and sofa hug will generally make a woman feel satified emotionally and it’s a small price for a man to pay to get the “benefits”.

Would you agree to do this with just any friend?

I would think the answer is a resounding no, so before agreeing to such an arrangement take a long hard look at a good friend of the opposite sex that you would definately not agree to be a friend with benefits with.

Why are they any different, you just need some sexual satisfaction with someone you trust but without emotional involvement right? In order to agree to sleep with someone there has to be some attraction involved and attraction is an emotion .. so how do you now stick to the rules of friends with benefits and not get emotionally involved?

What Are the Benefits For You?

Given the above (you may not even be aware of any feelings you have for your friend but to even consider this arrangement you should accept those feelings must be there) what will happen to the friendship when those feelings begin to emerge for one of you?

Can your friendship survive the hurt feelings of rejection or the jealousy when you see your friend with someone else. Of course you can deny, deny, deny your emotions but when you are back in your bed alone at night crying what benefit will you have gained from this arrangement?

Not Interesting Enough to Date

If someone you just met said “you don’t interest me enough to date but do you fancy a roll in the hay just to relieve my tensions” how would you react? In effect the friend that suggests a “friends with benefits” relationship is saying exactly the same thing, all they are looking for is sexual gratification without any strings or emotional attachment. Are you really willing to sell yourself so short?

You Deserve Better

I know it is really easy to say “you deserve better so wait for the right guy or girl” but that is no comfort when you are feeling utterly lonely and looking for love. Loneliness is all consuming at times  and causes us to hurt emotionally but we also know it comes and goes.

You can be miserable or motivate yourself it really is a choice we make and we don’t have to resort to friends with benefits to keep lonliness at bay.

Even if you manage to avoid removing an eye with the butter knife there are still the other restaurant obstacles to be avoided, like wearing half of your food, your inability to read french or know which form of sushi is likely to kill you, forgetting which is the red wine glass or heaven forbid being rude to the waiter in order to look ‘cool’ and in control.

Personally I would prefer a night of ten pin bowling or bungie jumping, at least then I am expected to make a total fool of myself.

However, the fact remains that most first dates are held in restaurants.

Here are a few golden rules for a successful first date eating out.

1. Don’t be adventurous. It is always tempting to say “let’s try the new Bungamelion place in town” in order to look sophisticated but if your usual idea of an adventurous meal out is sweet and sour pork or chicken korma then being faced with a menu of deep fried ostrich testicles or turtles eyes in frog spit may result in a rather embarrassing experience. Stick to the tried and tested.

2. Choose neutral ground. Book somewhere that neither of you have been before, this way if the food is dreadful it does not reflect on your personal choices and you can both complain about the awful food or service and vow never to return again. You can also suggest a second date in order to improve on the first. Lastly if you happen to find a bunny boiler then taking them to your Friday night eatery is a very bad idea, they have a habit of showing up again.

3. Be careful what you eat. Garlic breath is not your only concern when eating out, fish, coffee and spicy meat are just some of the foods that make that first kiss a bit of a nightmare. If you are making a night of it also consider avoiding beans, sprouts and anything that will cause loud unpleasant noises in the trouser regions … not to mention the aroma and when not at home you can’t blame the dog.

4. Don’t order for them. Just because you think roasted horse penis is a gourmet dish doesn’t mean they will. It may seem a romantic gesture but unless you know someones tastes ordering your favourite meal for them may end in disaster, if they don’t like the food you enjoy they will ask themselves what else about you they are not compatible with.

5. Avoid getting drunk. Drinking should relax you, not make you sing the hedgehog song half naked on the bar!! This may go down well with your mates on a Friday night but is not a good impression on a first date. Pace your drinking and don’t be lulled into the false idea that eating while you drink will stop you getting drunk and making a total idiot of yourself.

PS … when dressing for a date check out your rear view, 3 inches of cotton knickers showing is really not attractive (check out the photo above).

The problem here is that you are failing to learn by your dating mistakes, driven by your idea of the perfect partner for you. This can often lead to the belief that all women are crazy or all men are cheats, when in fact the problem lies with you not the people you are dating.

A couch potato may visualise a happy relationship with an active outgoing person but it is unlikely to work out as a relationship, yet they will again look for love with an active outgoing person after that relationship has failed.

If you are a homebody and only enjoy occasionally going out then finding a string of party animals is just walking headlong into the same disappointment over and over again.

You can set out in the dating game to meet a certain type and indeed you will meet them, you then expect the love and relationship to develop a particular way and usually it does. The final hurdle is you anticipate how it will end and sure enough it ends that way.

You have to change this cycle, examine the ‘type’ you go for, accept that it may be your fantasy but in reality it simply doesn’t work out and then change your expectations accordingly.

Simply following the same pattern of behaviour and expecting a different result is not only futile but also a recipe for a regularly broken heart.

It may be that you choose very different types to date but the relationships all end the same way, again this is because you follow the same patterns over and over again. Unless you change the way you visualise and act out a relationship then nothing can change, just because their name is Bob not Steve or Cindy not Carol makes no difference, it is your behaviour that is causing the pattern to repeat.

If you visualise that your partner will cheat then invariably they will. Your behaviour changes in anticipation of this cheating, so you look for signs, your partner picks up on this and feels you have no trust in them (hint: love requires trust) and the pattern repeats itself, you can actually bring about the thing you are dreading.

To end this self destructive cycle begin by examining the ‘type’ you go for before you start dating again, are they really what will make a fulfilling relationship for you? Then closely examine your pattern of behaviour in relationships, be honest with yourself do you keep repeating the same mistakes?

Once you recognise the pattern you can begin to change it, try a different type or change your expectations of how the relationship will end.

Some single men have admitted to wearing a wedding ring in order to attract women, they do not need to get emotionally involved and can limit the time they spend with a woman.

The obvious question for these women is ‘why not just date a single man?’

When you talk to these women their answers are invariably that they do not want ties or baggage, dating married men means they can pick and choose when they see them without the hassle or dirty socks.

They also lose no time in stating they are not the ones committing adultery. It makes me ask them if they recognise adultery is wrong then why are they an active party to it. They laugh at me and quickly repeat they are not the ones doing anything wrong.

These are confident women that can provide for themselves, they don’t need a husband or children to make their life complete, so an affair gives them exactly what they want without the baggage.

The next obvious question is ‘but what about the families you are breaking up?’

Here their logic eludes me, they say they can’t break up a family because if the marriage was happy the men would not be searching online dating sites for an adulterous affair.

Certainly you can’t argue with that point, these men are responsible for their own actions but surely the ladies need to take some responsibility for making themselves available only to married men and therefore threatening a marriage, happy or not.

It seems to me it is simply a way to shift the blame, to be the innocent party without ties or responsibilities and it must therefore be all his fault. The idea that their seeking out these men is in fact a part of the process and problem is rejected, as this would mean what they are doing is wrong.

When asked about entering into relationships that are doomed to fail because the man is not available these ladies will insist that the men are available, they make themselves available by putting themselves on the market.

There is a website that has been running quite successfully for the past two years which provides, for a fee, everything you need for a fake alibi including hotel and flight bookings, work seminars and they even man the telephone in case your other half calls. The ironic part is that they also offer private investigation services to catch your partner cheating. However, services like this cannot survive if there is no demand for them so someone must be paying for the services.

I find it all a little sad, that anyone would actively seek a married person to have a casual relationship with, it sounds rather like a business contract.

Perhaps these women have been hurt or used and are going for revenge? I admit I do not understand their motives but what surprised me in these conversations is that they are vibrant confident women and I did feel they were selling themselves short.

It is so easy to convince yourself that within a week you are in love with someone but what you are really feeling is physical attraction.

That may mean you find someone physically attractive to look at or perhaps their mind attracts you or their smell is what causes your senses to heighten and your head to spin.

Who really knows why we fall for another person, it is different for each relationship. There is no logic or reason behind it, biology simply takes over and you can easy find yourself awash with emotion for someone that you thought was not your type.

In our society virtually all relationships begin with physical attraction, the feeling of love at first site is simply a mutual attraction and some raging hormones. Of course this can and sometimes does lead to falling in love but actual love takes time.

To love someone you must know their good and bad points, understand and put up with their habits and have been through a few ups and downs together. Love does not happen instantly.

The myth of love at first sight comes because some people do meet, are physically attracted and their relationship blossoms into love. It was something they both wanted at the same time and were both lucky enough to find in each other. That is when you hear couples say “I knew as soon as saw him/her” but what they knew is that they were both attracted to each other.

Lust is a very base emotion, it can feel uncontrollable, it’s a fantastic feeling when your whole body aches to be so close to another but do not mistake lust for love. Just because someone sleeps with you it doesn’t mean they love or even care about you, it simply means they are physically attracted to you.

Convincing yourself that you are in love because you are so physically attracted to someone or are having great sex with them can easily blind you to their faults and you may find yourself dating someone that is totally unsuitable for you.

Always take time when you are dating to sit back and consider whether this is really the person you want to be with or if it’s just great physical attraction, because when the lust begins to wear off you can find yourself facing someone you hardly know and barely like.

However the dangers, however remote, are very real and in bringing this issue to your attention I hope you will consider how you display your child or childrens photos while online dating.

As a dating website owner I often see parents proudly displaying their childrens photo’s on their dating profile. These are usually holiday shots, as that is a happy time you spent with your children and of course you want to show the world your wonderful family.

In reality this in itself poses no threat to the safety of your children, you have ensured you did not mention anything that can be used to trace you on your profile and even if people know what town you live in they are unlikely to go searching around for your particular children.

The problems begin to emerge when you start to get comfortable chatting to someone or to a group in a forum or chatroom.

Please carefully consider these 5 reasons not to put your childs photo on your dating profile where all the world can see them.

1. Online Predators

They are not lurking on every website you visit and their numbers are limited but they do exist. Predators often chat like normal people, they read the safety information too so are unlikely to ignore you and simply ask about your children. However someone that seems genuinely interested in you may casually ask the names of your children, their age or what town you live in. These are natural questions I would also ask a parent but someone with bad intentions can soon glean a lot of information.

Here is an example for you to consider (not a real one and I have used a picture of a child from a non English speaking country freely available on the net):

The parent simply states that her daughter is called Cindy and gives no further information, so no danger there right?

Wrong, it took me 43 seconds with some computer software to find this.

It could have been a number 43 bus or a shop name in the background but if someone wanted to find that child and turn up at school saying “Hi Cindy your Mum sent me to pick you up”, research shows that children are far more trusting if an adult knows their name.

2. Children’s Privacy

Your children want you to be happy, they are desperate for you to be happy but they don’t necessarily want the whole school looking at their photo on a dating site. School kids can be very cruel, as I’m sure we all remember and it just takes your friend to mention in front of his/her kids that you are on a particular dating site and children are bound to go looking.

Children will defend you and see it as your right to look for happiness but if their friends tell them that they are on the photos they will never live it down.

Consider your children’s privacy, they are people in their own right, so ask them if they mind you putting a photo of them on a dating site.

3. Your Children Aren’t Dating

Your profile states that you have children but people initially want to get to know you as an individual, they are not looking to date your children. In any new serious relationship the new partner must be able to get on with your children but this should not be done from day one.

Take time to get to know each other and if you decide to take your relationship further then begin the process of introducing your new partner and children.

4. Your Ex Partner

Is your ex partner aware that their child or children’s photos are being displayed on a dating website? Divorce can often lead to feelings of “I don’t care what they think” but if that parent is still involved with the children then should their feelings about where their children’s photos are shown not be taken into consideration?

For further information about protecting your child(ren) while online dating please read the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (ceopc) website. It is aimed at keeping your child safe while they are using the internet but there is some sobering information in there and of course if you feel someone online is taking an unusual interest in your children then this gives information for where to report it.

You can also report people you are suspicious of on the Think You Know website. This is run in conjunction with the ceopc website. Please do not only think about yourself, if you feel someone is asking too many questions about your children or shows more interest in getting to know them rather than you then please help protect other parents and report it. Better a red faced innocent person than the alternative.

Most online dating sites will now allow you to have a number of photos on your profile but the most important photo is the one that first shows when your dating profile opens and this should be of you.

It is very noble to say “people should get to know me and not just be attracted to my looks” but that is simply not how the human mind works. Physical attraction is still a very necessary part of the dating process, so here are 8 of the most common mistakes:

1. No photo

This can suggest a number of things, either you have no confidence, are the elephant man or don’t want your wife finding out you are registered with a dating site. There are no positive aspects to not having a profile photo and this is unlikely to find you a date. If you are simply concerned about who may see you are registered with an online dating site (eg work colleagues or your children) then join a site that allows you to hide your photo and only share it with people you accept as friends. Beware of saying you will email a photo, ladies receive the most revolting pictures this way and will be wary of accepting your email.

2. False photos

Putting up a photo of Brad Pitt, a male model, you when you were 23 or one of your better looking friends may well get you more responses but what will happen when you actually meet someone in real life and they immediately see you are a fake? What else will they think you have lied about?

3. The cut out or ex

Displaying a photo of yourself with a beaming smile, female arm around you and what is obviously long hair trailing on your shoulder is not what women want to see. Also a photo with a female, whether that is your ex or a female friend sends bad signals. Most women would immediately compare themselves to the woman in the photo and it may just put them off contacting you or responding to your contact.

4. Group photos

Putting up a photo of you and three friends on a stag weekend and saying I’m second from the left will simply mean people can’t really see your face. Yes it means you are fun, active and have friends but people initially want to see you and decide if you are their type physically.

5. Self taken shots

A profile photo which clearly shows you are holding the camera yourself is actually quite negative, it suggests you are unable to find anyone to take a good picture of you. Webcam photo’s are simply bad quality and tend to show your face from a strange angle. It takes little effort to get a friend or family member to take a nice picture of you for your profile and the resulting contacts will make the effort worthwhile.

6. Children in photos

Men seem to be more prone to including a photo with their children, whether this is through pride or to show they are a family man but it is a mistake. Children have the right to privacy and it is easy to get chatting online and give out snippets of details about where you live or the name of the school your child(ren) attend and you have no idea who you are handing that information to. Keep your children safe and only show their photo to people you have been speaking to for some time and feel confident will not abuse your trust.

7. The naked chest

Unless you are joining an adult dating site then just don’t do it, it isn’t attractive even if you have a six pack. Yes of course women look and will probably find it sexy but it is very hard to take a man seriously that feels the need to display his chest. If you have a six pack then wear a tight t-shirt and leave something to the imagination.

8. Sunglasses, hats and sports gear

So you think you look like Tom Cruise in your aviator sunglasses or just cool in your baseball cap (plus it hides the thinning hairline) but women want to see your face so don’t hide behind props

For the best dating profile photo get an up to date photo of your head and shoulders, make sure it is clear and good quality. Ladies want to see your eyes, your smile and the real you.

As a demonstration look at these two photos and decide which would be more attractive to women: