Unlike the question should I admit to having an affair the question of whether you should admit to having had a one night stand is rather less complicated.

A one night stand is an opportunist act with someone you have no intention of seeing again. Whereas an affair is a sustained relationship with a partner outside your marriage or relationship.

If you happen to bump into that person a month later and repeat the experience you are now in the realms of an affair, saying I didn’t intend to bump into them doesn’t count .. learn to say nop to your more base desires.

Firstly you must consider what led you to have a one night stand in the first place. Are you with the right partner or do your relationships all end the same way?

We all know why it’s not ok to cheat but there are times we do idiotic things and then deeply regret them. Whether away on a lonely business trip, an alcohol fuelled night out or a moment of out of control lust, some people have a weak moment and do something they wouldn’t usually dream of doing.

Most of us know the difference between love and lust and are aware that a one night stand is about lust, while our long term relationship is about love.  However sometimes in a moment of madness one is forgotten and the other becomes imperative.

The chances of being caught or someone telling your partner are far less with a one night stand than with an affair but that is no excuse for doing it.

Is it worth hurting your partner deeply, breaking the trust in your relationship, perhaps losing your children or home, because you feel the need to be honest about it to relieve your own guilt?

Have you ever heard the saying “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”? Well in this case it’s generally true.

That is not permission to go off and have a string of one night stands behind your husband or wife’s back.

Yes you will have to carry the guilt of your one night stand to your grave but that is the price you have to pay for the decision you made when you you opted for a one night stand.

‘Forget about it and move on’ is easier said than done when guilt is keeping you awake at night but consider the alternative.
While you lie there listening to your partner happily sleeping, none the wiser, think about how they would feel if they knew. Does that knowledge change anything for the better? Will it help them to feel secure and loved?

You now feel deeply ashamed and guilty .. and so you should. However, shame and guilt are emotions, so use those emotions in a positive way and channel them toward your partner.

Every time you feel ashamed or guilty look at your partner and mentally list ten reasons why you will never do anything again to hurt them.

It doesn’t have to be February 14th to show someone you care about them, try one or more of these inexpensive valenties day gestures to show your partner you love them.

Keeping this secret and taking it to the grave with you is not about you, it is not about stopping you from getting into trouble. It is about your partner, you cheated on them and they will bear the brunt of the pain your confession will cause.

If you must confess then confide in a friend or tell a priest but allow your partner to remain unhurt and unaffected by your actions.

Take a long hard look at your partner, are they content with their life at the moment, are they oblivious to your guilt and shame. Now consider how they would look if you tell them, how long would they take to recover, if they ever do and ask yourself again .. should I admit I had a one night stand?

Like a fitness programme, it won’t work by sitting on your sofa and reading books about getting fit or meeting that someone special.

In order to be successful at online dating you have to actively take part, not sit on the side lines and wait for someone special to happen along and pick you for their team.

Passive Daters

These are people that are unsure about even joining a dating site. Perhaps they feel there is still a stigma attached to online dating, they may not believe it can really work, are afraid of rejection, perhaps are not very confident about themselves or simply don’t have a clue what to write about themselves.

Passive daters will fill out the bare bones of a profile, often inserting “will tell you later” or “send me a message and ask me” if they can’t think of an imaginative answer to a question. They are unlikely to put a photo on their profile and very rarely contact other members, instead they sit back and wait for people to contact them .. they will likely even forget they have joined the site unless an email arrives.

Imagine going out on a Saturday night .. you don your best clothes but haven’t bothered ironing them, pop your sunglasses and a floppy hat on and drag yourself out. You go to a bar or restaurant and sit in the corner reading a book waiting and hoping that someone will notice you and stop by your table to say hello.

It doesn’t sound like a recipe for dating success does it? That is the equivalent of a passive online dater and the same result will usually happen .. not a lot, other than disappointment.

You may be lucky and an active dater will stop by and say hello but why would an active dater contact someone with a half-hearted profile, no photo and who hasn’t logged into the site for over a month? As they make up less than 20% of the online dating scene the chances of an active dater contacting you are really quite slim.

If you are a passive dater then it’s time to change your ways if you really want to meet someone, have a quick read of why we Brits need to be more like Americans when it comes to dating profiles.

Start by choosing a good dating profile username as this is the first thing other members will see and a username like “Bored & Depressed” may just put them off a little.

Your profile doesn’t have to be written by Shakespeare or make people roll around the floor laughing, it simply has to be informative, a reflection of who you are. If you’re not sure where to start then get searching and read other peoples profiles, find ones you find interesting and work out what makes them stand out from the crowd.

Upload a recent photo, statistics show that having a profile photo improves your chances of dating success ten fold. Even if you mark it as private so it can’t be seen by everyone but at least other members will know you have a photo so if they contact you there is a chance of seeing it.

Profile Photos are so important I write about them a little too often, check out mistakes women make with profile photos and mistakes men make with profile photos, it can mean the difference between finding that someone special and being overlooked so why not make a little effort and get a good photo for your profile.

Now start searching profiles, find people you like the sound of and send a message saying hello. Some people will initially send a flirt or add someone to their friends list to get the other person to come and read their profile and hopefully reciprocate .. I call this the peek a boo game and don’t recommend it but it’s better than not contacting people. It is better, if you have the confidence, to simply send them a message introducing yourself and always say something or ask a question that shows you have read their profile, not just looked at the photo.

Active Daters

This isn’t a polite term for a serial dater, out every night with someone new. An active dater believes online dating can work, they often know someone that has met their partner online and they actively go after what they want .. to meet someone to date.

They will take time to write an informative and interesting profile, often editing their profile from time to time. Their profile will display a current photo of them (rather than their car or pet) and they will spend time searching profiles and sending messages to people whose profiles they enjoy.

It’s true you have to be a little thick skinned for online dating at times, not everyone will send polite messages or even answer but active daters don’t let this put them off.

Active daters will log in to the site regularly to see who has recently joined, they will send out messages and keep their profile updated. They are also much more likely to succeed simply because they are making the effort to find what they want.

If you are an active dater you may not be meeting as many people as you would like to online but you are over half way there, you are putting in the time and effort. If this isn’t getting the results you were hoping for then ask yourself if you are on the right dating site for you, how to choose a good online dating service is written for first timers but has some good tips if you think you may be on the wrong site.

Please learn the art of rejection, nobody likes a rejection but there is a way to do it nicely and it’s better than being ignored completely. Be polite and friendly when online dating, whether you are a passive or active online dater.

If you met someone in a bar and chatted for half an hour would you hand them your number? How much would you need to know about them before giving out your personal details?

The only difference with online encounters is we are never totally sure of who we are talking to, there is no eye contact or body language to get impressions from.

Because some weird people hang out online it makes us wary of everyone we meet on the internet but with a little forethought the net is no more dangerous than going to a bar and giving out your number to someone you meet.

Here are a couple of ways you can feel more confident before handing out your phone number to online contacts:

Use The Dating Websites Resources

It is amazing how many people send an initial contact message saying here is my phone number and email, please contact me and we can chat. Are you kidding me?! That is the same as walking up to a total stranger in the street and saying here’s my number call me, it may work for James Bond but he’s a fictional character. Set a personal rule that you will not move off the website until you have spoken 8 or 10 times to someone, it’s called respecting boundaries. Use whatever resources the dating website provides, send flirts, personal messages, use the forum, webcams or arrange to meet in the chatroom one night at 9pm (use private chat rooms if they have the facility). If someone seems desperate to get off the website to chat, then ask yourself why, what is their desperation about and do you really want to meet someone desperate. This is a particular red flag if you are looking for a serious relationship.

Start with email

Set up a free email account just for dating and give that to the person you are chatting to but add some rules. The rules are not important, you can say don’t email on a weekend because your sister uses the email account and you don’t want her reading your emails or not to add any attachments or your computer will block the messages. The point of the rules is simply to see whether they abide by them, are they listening to you and working to build your trust or just doing their own thing regardless. Anyone that can’t follow a couple of simple rules for emails may just be the type to send 40 text messages a day or call you at 4am for a chat.

Webcam Chats

Don’t hand out your phone number until you have spoken on webcam, this way you at least know if the person has represented themselves truthfully on their profile and can see body language. It is best if the woman suggests a webcam chat during the day. Genuine men are often wary about asking for a webcam chat in case the woman thinks he is being pervy. By suggesting an afternoon webcam chat the woman is setting the boundaries, which would rarely be taken as anything other than a genuine request for a ‘face to face’ chat.

A Dating Phone

When you are ready to give them your phone number pick up a cheap or used mobile phone and a pay as you go sim card. You can do this for about £25 and carry it with you as a second phone or simply check for messages and missed calls when you get home. If you then get inappropriate calls or messages from someone then you can simply throw away the pay as you go card and get a new one, this way you don’t have to let family and friends know about a change of number but can soon deal with pesky callers.

Call Boundaries

When you give out your number set some boundaries, state that you don’t want to receive calls or texts after 1am or during 9-5 when you will be at work. Some people get carried away when they first get your number and want to talk all the time, this can be very flattering at first but try to think longer term, will 20 text messages a day start to annoy you after a couple of weeks? It may be that you will love the attention, only you can decide but to happily respond to 20 messages a day in the first couple of weeks and then tell them they are stalking you when you get tired of the number of calls or messages is a little unfair, start as you mean to go on and don’t give out mixed signals.

Use your gut feeling and experience when asked for your number, if you are not 100% happy to do so then don’t give it out, simply say you are not ready to speak directly yet. If they decide they can’t wait around then take it as a lucky escape. Don’t be pressurised into giving out your personal details, choose wisely when to give out your phone number.

If so you are certainly not alone. As we get older fear can stop us entering a new relationship because experience tells us it ends badly and we get hurt.

Pain is not something many of us volunteer for, either physical or emotional but in the same way a fear of flying can stop us travelling and enjoying holidays, a fear of emotional pain can stop us enjoying all that relationships and love have to offer.

It can become a phobia, standing on the precipice afraid to look down, all our limbs rigid with the fear of letting go .. so we choose the safe option and step back to our comfort zone of opting for just friendship.

You can tell yourself that you are happier in your safe little bubble but isn’t that how agoraphobia starts? You are not keeping yourself safe but shutting yourself off.

Some people can be quite happy single but many people just find ways to replace the human affection they miss. Getting a pet for hugs, joining a club so they have someone to chat to or leaving the television on even when they are not watching it, just for the company.

To deny yourself love is to deny being human and can lead to many safe but lonely years. What people are afraid of is not love or relationships but of losing it.

Whether you have lost your partner through death, betrayal or they simply stopped loving you, the hurt can be too much for some people and they would rather avoid a repeat performance. Check out these 5 tips for dating after divorce to help you prepare for getting back in the dating game.

Another problem after a long term relationship is you lose the ‘dating’ habit and tend to talk, think and act like one half of a relationship. This can be quite offputting both for the person you are dating and yourself, as dating seems less light hearted and fun.

It may be that you meet someone really special, someone you could easily fall in love with but the fear makes you keep them at arms length, suggesting ‘just friends’ would be better.

This really is not the answer because at some point you are going to need to get back in the game and then you will think back on those lost chances.

You may avoid the hurt that may or may not come but you will definately miss all the good times that come with falling in love and being in a relationship. So why give up a definate because a maybe might one day happen?

If your ‘friend’ starts dating someone you then have to deal with those emotions, perhaps jealousy or loneliness will become a problem for you.

I am not suggesting that the first opportunity that comes along you jump in with both feet, a blindfold on and hope for the best but at some point you are going to need to open up and let someone in .. just a little.

Friends is a good way to start and it is better to let the person know you have feelings for them but are afraid to take it further. This way if they also have feelings for you they are less likely to start dating someone else until you feel confident enough to go that one step further.

Don’t take it too slowly though or they may get bored and look elsewhere, keep them updated with your emotional progress so they know you are trying.

Remember, dating someone is not a proposal of marriage or a lifetime commitment, it’s just two people having fun and getting to know each other, so there is no need to be afraid of relationships or love.

It’s a horrible situation, you have nothing in common and the longer you sit there the more faults you can find with them, you start grinding your teeth as they are talking.

The best option is to tell the truth, just say you are sorry but you don’t feel you have anything/enough in common to continue your date. It’s surprising how you will then relax, finish your drink and casually chat knowing the pressure is off… I have made a few good friends this way.

If you can’t face being honest or hurting their feelings then rather than extend the agony just use one of these get out of a bad date free cards.

Receive a phone call

It’s an old one and your date will know it’s a fib but it gets the message across and you out of there without too much fuss or embarrassment.

Get a friend or family member to call you one hour after you are due to meet your date. Arrange how you will answer the phone, if you like your date you could answer “make it quick, I’m busy” but if you don’t like them try “hey I didn’t expect to hear from you, is everything ok?” .. change the words slightly, they may have read this too.

If it’s a lunch date then you are needed back at work pronto to deal with an irate client/boss, flood, surprise audit or Cindy from accounting’s broken nail.

If a night time date then your friends goldfish, dog, child, husband or second cousin twice removed has just died, had an accident, given birth (perhaps not if its their husband or 6 year old), swallowed the house keys or run away with the circus.

The excuse really doesn’t matter, what matters is that you get the message across that you are cutting the date short and leaving … now!!

Put them off

If you don’t care how many people they tell what a rotten date you are then be a rotten date.

Break every rule for a first date:

a) women be a gold digger .. say things like “I want to go to Barbados on holiday but can’t afford it, hopefully I’ll meet someone soon that will pay for it for me” or “I dumped my last partner because the cheapskate only spent bought me a new car for my birthday and I’m worth so much more” or “so how much do you earn, I hope it’s more than my ex”.

b) men be really cheap .. complain about the prices of drinks, talk about how your ex would waste money on things like make-up, sanitary products or rubbish like sliced bread .. when unsliced bread is just so much cheaper.

b) your ex is a superhero .. talk incessantly about how fabulous your ex was, turn every subject into a story about your ex .. they were gorgeous, caring, talented, great in bed and you just know you will never meet anyone that can match up to them.

c) tell them all about your (hopefully imaginary) illness .. manic depression, schizophrenia, suicide attempts or herpes. Go into gory details about uncontrollable mood swings, ‘voices’ that tell you what to do, stomach pumping or scars and scabs. Preferably do this while you are eating.

d) be arrogant and complain about everything, talk too loudly and complain, complain, complain. Food too organic, drinks too wet, film too loud, weather too weathery, everyone you ever met was an idiot and far inferior to you (not just dates but at work, school, your hairdresser, dentist, etc).

e) be an ‘ist’ .. whether it’s a racist, sexist, ageist or just all round hate everything-ist .. tell your date that you wished you lived in a society where gays and old people are killed off, coloured people were still slaves that know their place, it should be legal for people to beat their kids or ask your date what’s really wrong with paedophilia.

Try one of these and see how long it takes before your date receives a phone call and has to go rescue their friends goldfish from the circus.

Run Away

In absolute desperate situations just be rude and leave, say you are going to the toilet and don’t come back. It’s not a nice thing to leave anyone sitting there but once you get out of the car park call them and say you had to go .. then switch your phone off.

Desperate Measures

If all else fails stuff a load of paper towels in the toilet dustbin and set fire to them .. you may spend a while in prison for arson but you’ll have had the perfect excuse to get out of a bad date.

It’s easy to think or say “it’s just a bit of fun and nobody will get hurt” but the reality of these arrangements is more often than not a broken friendship and emotional pain for one participant.

The worst reason to get into a friends with benefits relationship is fooling yourself that it can start out this way and will develop into a full blown romantic loving relationship … the odds are it won’t and you will just get hurt and used.

If you are tempted to get into a friends with benefits relationship, perhaps in order to keep loneliness at bay for a short time or until Mr/Miss Right comes along, then you may wish to consider these points before agreeing to be a “friend with benefits”.

Men and Woman ARE Different

Usually in friends with benefits relationships men are after the benefits and women are after the friendship, sorry men but that’s the honest truth. Firstly we have to understand the difference between love and lust and decide what we are really looking for.

A night in with a friend, a pizza, weepy video and sofa hug will generally make a woman feel satified emotionally and it’s a small price for a man to pay to get the “benefits”.

Would you agree to do this with just any friend?

I would think the answer is a resounding no, so before agreeing to such an arrangement take a long hard look at a good friend of the opposite sex that you would definately not agree to be a friend with benefits with.

Why are they any different, you just need some sexual satisfaction with someone you trust but without emotional involvement right? In order to agree to sleep with someone there has to be some attraction involved and attraction is an emotion .. so how do you now stick to the rules of friends with benefits and not get emotionally involved?

What Are the Benefits For You?

Given the above (you may not even be aware of any feelings you have for your friend but to even consider this arrangement you should accept those feelings must be there) what will happen to the friendship when those feelings begin to emerge for one of you?

Can your friendship survive the hurt feelings of rejection or the jealousy when you see your friend with someone else. Of course you can deny, deny, deny your emotions but when you are back in your bed alone at night crying what benefit will you have gained from this arrangement?

Not Interesting Enough to Date

If someone you just met said “you don’t interest me enough to date but do you fancy a roll in the hay just to relieve my tensions” how would you react? In effect the friend that suggests a “friends with benefits” relationship is saying exactly the same thing, all they are looking for is sexual gratification without any strings or emotional attachment. Are you really willing to sell yourself so short?

You Deserve Better

I know it is really easy to say “you deserve better so wait for the right guy or girl” but that is no comfort when you are feeling utterly lonely and looking for love. Loneliness is all consuming at times  and causes us to hurt emotionally but we also know it comes and goes.

You can be miserable or motivate yourself it really is a choice we make and we don’t have to resort to friends with benefits to keep lonliness at bay.

It is not only weak people that become victims of abuse, I was a very strong and independent career woman but found myself a victim in an abusive relationship. I was not used to anyone dominating me so when it did happen I just turned into mush and didn’t know what to do.

Approximately 20% of domestic abuse victims in Britain are men. The good news for male victims is statistics show that once out of the relationship their female partners tend not to harrass you.

Abuse of any kind quickly starts to remove your confidence, you begin to believe this is your fault and all the things they tell you that you cannot do without them, you begin to believe.

The first step is to recognise warning signs of an abusive relationship and understand that signs of abuse may be subtle, not all abusers are hitters.

Take a moment to read this list comparing healthy and abusive relationships and tick each attribute that you feel best describes your current relationship. Can you see any warning signs?

As our confidence erodes we need people outside the situation to either be honest with us or remove us from the situation.

There is NO shame in being the victim of abuse or not being “strong” enough to recognise it or walk away from it. It is not a fault in ourselves, the actions of these people are designed to make us feel small and incapable.

Read as much as you can about the mind of an abuser but not so you can understand them or feel sorry for them. Learn to make you strong mentally, when you understand why they treat you in such a way then you can begin to recognise that it is not your fault and you are not the terrible person they tell you you are.

To move forward we have to recognise that we are not made of stone and anyone can be a victim but we choose not to be a victim anymore.

Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy, I know I have been there but there is a lot of help out there, you just have to be strong enough to ask for it.

I heard those words so many times … “I’m sorry it will never happen again” … it almost always does. You feel too weak to leave, too incapable of surviving outside your current situation.

That is not the case, it is your partners actions that are making you feel that way and believe me after you leave it only takes a short time until your inner strength begins to rebuild itself and you start to wonder why you stayed there so long.

For advice and help with abusive relationships in the UK, including emergency hotlines and shelters contact:

Womens Aid – for women and children suffering from domestic violence and they have a FREE 24 hour emergency hotline .. 0808 2000 247

Refuge – for domestic violence help for women and children they also offer a FREE 24 hour helpline 0808 2000 247

Al-Anon – for families and friends of alcoholics, this is a branch of Alcoholics Anonymous but is for family and friends suffering because of someones drinking problem. You can call their helpline from 10am to 10pm 365 days a year .. 020 7403 0888

Broken Rainbow – for lesbians and gay men suffering domestic violence, you can only call at certain times. Mon 2-8pm, Wed 10-1pm and Thur 2-8pm .. 08452 604460

Mens Advice Line – for Domestic Abuse – Help & Support for Men, their lines are open Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm .. 0808 801 0327

The BBC ia a good resource for quick information on domestic violence – practical help for victims, such as removing a partner from your home, legal issues, housing, shelters, benefits, etc.

The Mayo Clinic offers excellent advice for seeking help with domestic violence in the US.

Don’t forget your Doctor will have a welath of information about where to get help if you are in an abusive relationship and if you are in danger call the police.

Please do not allow yourself to be a victim anymore, ask someone you know for help now.

In large workplaces ‘office romances’ are inevitable but being mature and setting ground rules from the start can save a lot of problems in the future.

It has never been a good idea to date a work colleague, to the point where many companies these days have included something about it in their company policy.

It causes particular problems when one person is superior to the other in authority. Read my experience of dating a work colleague, the companies reaction and how it affected my career.

Even where favouritism is not an issue, if your relationship is known then accusations will usually lead in that direction.

However, love finds us where it can and sometimes we have to make life choices that are not just about our career.

It’s easy to think you can keep the romance until after hours but unless strict ground rules are in place and adhered to then little glances will soon become naughty little emails and giggling behind the water cooler.

After a fight in your relationship there is nothing more obvious and uncomfortable for others than hostility between you at work.

Unfortunately there is a side to office romance that is anything but romantic, you need to sit together and discuss a game plan at the start of the relationship. Remember when you have this discussion you are not only making choices about your love life but about your career too.

Some rules to consider:

1. Establish before you return to work whether you are now in a relationship or whether it was a holiday fling.

2. If it is a relationship then decide whether you are going to let it be generally known in the office or workplace. Should you discuss your relationship with Human Resources or your boss (this will depend on the company and the job posts you both hold).

3. If not then discuss how you should answer any questions should anyone get curious or suspicious and how to handle things if your secret becomes known.

4. If you do choose to make your relationship public knowledge then Keep it Professional. Don’t use your company computers to send love emails to each other, don’t sit in meetings holding hands under the table or meet in the stationary cupboard for a quick snog.

5. Consider other people’s feelings, you may be madly in love and can’t keep your hands off each other but other people are just going about their work and don’t need to be distracted.

6. What will happen if you break up? Nobody gets into a relationship anticipating a break up but they do happen so how will you handle things if your relationship doesn’t work out? Do you work in different departments and can therefore avoid each other or is your secretary suddenly going to start slamming files down on your desk and rushing out in tears?

When asked this question today I was reminded of one of my deep dating regrets.

When I was 21 I was asked out by a man sporting a full beard and I said no. About 4 months later I saw him out with friends, he was clean shaven and drop dead gorgeous …. I have kicked myself for years for being so shallow but it really can make that much difference.

I happen to like goatees, can put up with designer stubble but a full beard is a no for me. I am undecided about a moustache on it’s own.

What is it about full beards that puts me off so much? I think they just suggest old and set in their ways, boring even. I am reminded of Greek philosphers or heaven forbid old American Presidents … strange how the brain associates such things.

For me a beard is something only an old man or biker should consider, otherwise it just suggests boring or lazy. It seems not only men are shallow when it comes to the issue of shaved or not!!

So ladies the question is would you date a man with a lot of facial hair? If not then why not?

Take a look at these different styles of facial hair and beards for men and see which you find attractive and which would put you off dating him.

There is always the old ‘has been’ that gets plastered and thinks he is casanova and all the 20 year old secretaries are dying for some of what he has got or the female vamp that thinks she can use her authority to get the young men to ‘pay her some attention’ under the mistleoe.

I doubt it is normal for you to get roaring drunk and dance to “I’m too sexy” whilst stripping off to your undies on a monday morning in the office, so why would you do it at the office party? The office party is an extension of your workplace, your colleagues and employers are not your mates out to paint the town red, so retain your dignity and follow these tips to ensure you remain employed after the holiday season is over.

1. What to Wear

It is a great time to show a more relaxed, attractive side to yourself rather than the boring grey suit or white blouse and pencil skirt but don’t go too far, the boob tube and ultra mini skirt are not appropriate. Too much cleavage, thigh or the rude t-shirt you bought on holiday is not going to impress the boss and may well damage your reputation at work. Wear party clothes that allow you to look elegant and attractive without looking like the office bike.

2. Timing is Everything

Ensure you arrive on time and don’t stay too long. If you are in the festive mood then arrange to meet your friends after the party is over, where you can let your hair down and be as silly as you like. Remember your new mantra ‘the office party is still the office’ so make sure you stay until after the boss has left, they will usually make a quick exit knowing the employees want to have fun.

3. Alternate Drinks

Getting roaring drunk and trying to touch up Tracey from personnel or telling the boss he is a fat, bald useless twat may seem like a good idea at the time but is always a very bad idea at the office party. Alternate your drinks between something alcoholic and something soft to stay relatively sober and avoid such undignified behaviour. If you start to feel you are getting drunk switch to soft drinks and stay away from members of the opposite sex (especially the bosses wife).

4. Not a First Date

You have fancied someone in the office rotten for ages so surely the office party is the perfect place to make your move … right? Wrong, oh so wrong. First consider the pro’s and con’s of dating a work colleague before you consider making any advances. Yes it is a good place to get to know them and let them know of your intentions, perhaps even manage to arrange a first date but it is not in itself a date. Don’t spend all night following each other around like love sick puppies or ignore your other colleagues, just swap numbers or arrange a date and then spend the night doing the ‘eyes across a crowded room’ thing. Always remember that anyone you approach is also someone that you have to see again in the office so rejection may lead to embarrassment for both of you, make sure you can read ‘yes I am interested’ signals before asking out a work colleague.

5. Bringing a Date

Only consider bringing a date if it stated that the party is for employees and their partners. Don’t bring someone you met last week that you can’t keep your hands off or heaven forbid use it as a first date venue for someone you have not been out with before. You want to be professional in your work so don’t ruin things by spending the Christmas party with your tongue down someone’s throat.

6. Have Fun

It is possible to have fun without getting drunk and throwing up in the waste paper basket … no honestly it is. Join in the festivities, get up and have a dance or sing-song and show them there is more to you than they have thus far seen (more personality not more flesh). Enjoy the party but remember that you have to see these people again on Monday morning so being caught with Sharon from packing having a knee trembler in the loo is perhaps not going to seem like such a good idea when you are sober (especially if you are Sharon from packing).