Are you being conned by an internet dating scammer? Read the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers to find out.
Almost every successful online dating scam follows a set pattern of behaviour.
Once scammers find something that works they will use it until people get wise to the scam and then move on to something new.
Unfortunately, as dating scams deal with our most basic instinct (the desire to love and be loved) this old trick is not running it’s course, it still works every day.
Here is the basic behavior pattern of an internet dating scammer, the psychology behind each step and the red flags to look for … learn to read the signs.
The Scammers Approach
They will send a short introductory message as soon as you or they join the site. They will often approach people 10 to 15 years older than they say they are.
They will very quickly (usually in the first one or two messages) want to move off the site and on to yahoo, msn or mobile texting.
If you agree to move off the dating site within 2 days they will remove their profile from that site and inform you they have done this because they know they have found the one they were looking for.
They will explain that English is not their first language so they are slow at typing (in actual fact they take so long to respond because they are also chatting to 4 other potential victims at the same time).
Red flag:
They want to get you off the dating site as quickly as possible .. ask yourself why?
Scammers Cover Story
This is just one cover story but it will give you an idea of how creative they are.
They will begin by telling you they are a business man or woman and are either currently doing contract work in an African country or they are in Europe at the moment but will be travelling to Africa on business soon.
They will usually say they are French, Belgian, Dutch, Italian or whatever because when you speak on the phone it can be difficult to tell what their accent is.
Together
They will chat to you daily and within a week they will tell you they are in love with you, they have been waiting for you all their life, they have dreamed of meeting someone like you and they can’t wait for you to be together.
They are perfect for you, almost too good to be true. Everything they tell you sounds like they read your profile and messages then invented their entire persona just for you (there’s a hint in there).
They will quickly talk of visiting you with a view to moving your relationship to the physical level and will talk of marriage.
Red Flag:
Too much, too soon, never met and nobody is that perfect for you. It’s one of the joys of relationships, we have to compromise and if someone is just “perfect” then you should smell a rat.
First Request For Money
This will usually come after 10 to 14 days of chatting daily and take one of four forms. The request will be in an amount from 1000 to 20000 UK pounds or US dollars (although sometimes much more), they will sound so embarrassed to have to ask you BUT:
- A medical emergency
- Victim of a crime.
- Visa money and flight money to come to be with you.
- A business deal is slipping through their fingers.
The medical emergency will take the form of needing to see a doctor because they are sick or must pay a hospital bill for either them or a close family member. They will say it’s only a loan, someone owes them money and as soon as they get it they will send it right back to you.
The crime will take the form of their wallet/passport/laptop/luggage has been stolen and they are stuck in Africa and need to get home (this may be coupled with the need to pay the hospital bill after the attack).
Of course they have to travel a few hundred miles to apply for the visa, then travel back for the interview and that’s expensive .. the fact that our embassies now accept initial online applications should warn you here. They also need flight money to come to see you, someone owes them money which they could use but they won’t get it back for a few weeks and they just can’t wait that long to be with you. As soon as they get their money back they will send you what they owe you. Others just say they can’t afford it and if you are to be together then can you pay for their flight.
A great deal came up and they have paid 200,000 plus for heavy machinery/gold/precious stones/etc but they are short 20,000. When they are back home they can sell it for more than double what they are paying for it. Their bank doesn’t have a branch over there so he/she can’t get the remaining money wired to them .. can you just help him/her out and they’ll split the profits with you when they get back and sell their purchases.
Please note that in any of these scenario’s if you say you can’t afford the amount they are asking for they will simply ask for less and try to get the remaining amount elsewhere … and yet they had to ask you, a total stranger, for the money.
Any money you send needs to be sent through Western Union.
Red Flags:
1. A business person that travels frequently and goes to Africa without medical insurance .. pull the other one.
2. If they’re a victim of crime why haven’t they gone to their Embassy for help, that’s what they’re there for and they WILL help in such circumstances.
3. They are so desperate to meet you but never suggest you go to meet them when they get back to their home country, just send them money and they’ll come to you.
4. A business person that can’t get to a bank there but was allowed to wander through customs with 200,000 in cash, which they just happened to be carrying in case they fancied a bite to eat .. I don’t think so!!
5. If the words Western Union and internet dating crop up in the same sentence run a mile.
If you Don’t Send Money
If you sound even slightly hesitant about sending money or say you simply can’t afford to, they will suddenly go into fits of remorse for even asking you .. you will get a tyrade of what a dreadful person they are and they will never forgive themselves for asking .. blah blah blah.
Once they are sure you feel really guilty and sorry for them, usually coupled with you saying you really want to help them but … they will start to ask for money again. Maybe you could just lend them a small part of what they need? Do you have a car you could sell?
Documentational Proof
In order to build trust and reassure you that you are not being scammed they will email you documentation to prove they are telling the truth and how much they need.
This may take the form of:
- A hospital bill and letter from a doctor explaining they can’t release his/her passport until the bill is paid.
- A police report detailing the crime and the value of what was stolen.
- A letter from a travel agent explaining the flight has been booked and they await x number of pounds/dollars to pay for the flight or even a copy of the flight booking confirmation.
- A receipt from the business they are buying from detailing their purchase and the amount outstanding. This will often state that if the outstanding amount is not paid he/she will lose the money already paid.
Red Flags:
All of these documents are written in English, even the police report .. how convenient, that means you can read them.
I could produce any of these documents in about 10 minutes with my laptop and photoshop.
You can book a flight online and print off the booking confirmation straight away, then cancel the booking. This is such an effective tool though psychologically because you “see” the flight they are coming on, so it can’t be a con … can it?
It’s all proof of nothing other than their ability to use a computer.
Second Request for Money
If you send any money for a flight it will quickly be followed by a second request.
The most popular of these is the Basic Travel Allowance (BTA).
This is where the psychology of the scam gets you in two ways.
Firstly it gets you emotionally, you desperately want to meet this perfect love of your life or you wouldn’t have sent the flight money (usually 2-3000). They sound so utterly disappointed when they tell you they went to get their visa and the embassy/government/travel agent explained they need BTA money in cash, 800-1000 pounds or dollars, which has to be shown at the departure desk.
Secondly you may begin to smell a rat but you’ve already sent a lot of money, so your brain will be desperately trying to convince you that you haven’t just been scammed (even though in your heart you know you have).
You may decide to cut your losses and break contact but many victims of scams try to give them the benefit of the doubt in the hopes of this person really being the love they are looking for and in the hope they haven’t just become the latest victim of a dating scammer.
Red Flags:
There is no such thing as BTA. Before sending any money for visa/passport/travel requirements check the internet, look at your embassy website and establish what is actually needed and what is just an attempt to part you from your hard earned cash.
I know this all makes it sound very “any idiot could work it out” and in the cold light of day they could but these people are very good at what they do and are very convincing.
Please learn the behaviour patterns of online dating scammers so you don’t become a victim.
February 13th, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Hi Sally,
I want to post the pictures of the scammers including their email addresses, how can I do that?
Best wishes
Sunny
February 13th, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Hi Sunny, just send them to my email address.
March 18th, 2011 at 12:51 am
Hi Sally,
I signed up at romancescam.com and wow when I got there I found the very scammers I had been trying to post. The man Jamie Young had already been reported about 2 years ago who was then using the name Larry Brooks and Martins Jerry was also there. Found two more suspicious characters, Kelvin Patterson claiming to be from Texas and Smith Kane and Innocent Chris share the same picture, well the two are the same person!!! I have seen the real Innocent Chris in flesh so the picture used was someone else’s but I knew he was a scammer and obviously this man is trying to start a dialogue with me under the name Smith Kane but I have found out. The scammers seem to go back to the same victims and I think they sort of pass on the victim’s names to the next one, its like passing the parcel!!!
March 18th, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Hi Sunny
Yes they sell on your details, just like companies who collect email addresses and sell them on so companies can send you advertising.
April 20th, 2011 at 1:57 am
The problem with a lot of these guys is they use some random guy’s pics who also become victim s of the scam. I was enticed with a military man’s photo and the discovered it was some wierdo in his basement, but had pulled the pictures off another site…sooo….the man in the picture might be someone totally innocent of this whole scam…it’s so sad that people get off on this sort of crap…he never did ask me for money but was really interested in seeing me on line,,and asked me to dress sexy…so its not just the money they want, its their jollies….
February 18th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Sally,
I have a situation that sounds like a lot of the situations that I have read. I have sent him 200.00 for a contract in Nigeria. He has a UK number and when he arrived in Nigeria, he purchased a prepaid cell. We talk daily. He emails me daily and we IM on Messenger. He was robbed and his ex wife helped him when I could not. He emailed me his flight itinerary and then got angry about BTA. He asked me why I did not tell him about it. He has not asked me for any additional money, yet. I became angry and said that I was done and that there was no BTA but I have been reading where there are officials who are preventing passengers from boarding planes. We have been conversing for over one month. He says he loves me and I love him. I am a Christian and an intelligent woman. I have called him on different points. I tried to call him but he turned his phone off. I sent him an email and told him that I would be at the airport to pick him up on Monday. I am only out of 200.00 in cash and I have a sizeable phone bill, that I can afford. He has given me determination to better myself, weight wise. In the long run, I am not hurt or bitter about this. I did get a lot from this relationship. I can hear in his voice that he genuinely cares for me and that he is conflicted by the life he has led. I am not sure why I am contacting you. If for no other reason than to give others a different viewpoint to try and take something good from an ugly situation. I have done the research and I am positive that he is a very sophisticated scammer. In his lies, I found the person that I was intended to be. I just want others to know that we are all worthwhile and sometimes we require others to allow us to see that. In my heart of hearts I would love all the facts to be true. In my rational mind I know they are not. He has made several critical errors and I have informed him of them but I continued my relationship with him because he makes me laugh. I now see the wealth of opportunities available to me because of him. He has a sweet spirit and he is doing a sour thing. We all pick and choose our destinies. I have chosen to move forward in life. I can provide information on him. He has forwarded me a copy of his re-issued passport which shows a 1995 issue date. I myself do not own a passport but I would think that the issue date would be current. The itinerary does not have a confirmation number and it was sent to and from him 3 days ago, but he only booked his flight today. He has often asked me about the cost of my phone bill when I have told him he offers to help but I do not wish any from him. He forwarded me the police report and I called the number listed but it was not in service. If you would like to see these documents I would be glad to forward them to you. If I can help anyone not be taken advantage of I will. I have utilized “TinEye” with one of his photos and came up with no results. I know that everyone is not able to compartmentalize being scammed as I have, but I hope that I can prevent anyone else from being victimized and also help those who have been to search for something good in all of the bad. I know that he is a pipe dream but I am confident that there is someone in this world for me. He wanted me to come live in London with me. He provided me with a London address which I used Google Earth on. He also provided me with a Nigerian address which I could not use Google Earth on. I am willing to provide you with all of these documents and details if you think that it will help. I told him to send me an email if he intended to come. If I receive that email, I will be at the airport. If he is not there, it does not matter because I love watching airplanes. You are a BLESSING FROM GOD to many people never stop doing what you are doing. GOD BLESS AND KEEP you and MAY HIS FAVOR FOREVER MANIFEST IN your life.
February 19th, 2011 at 9:41 am
Hi JT
I commend you for your attitude, it’s always more healthy to find the positive in any situation and it is important to understand that some good people will be drawn into this through sheer lack of opportunity in life … it’s easy to foget how lucky we are.
I will email you for his details. His story is classic scammer I’m afraid and I doubt very much if he would be able to get a visa to visit you … even if he genuinely would like to but I hope you enjoy watching the planes land and take off.
February 19th, 2011 at 12:05 am
Hi, I am in the same boat. This person gave me his email, phone number, business information, copy of a contract, and his home address. Could you help me out he lives in the UK.
February 19th, 2011 at 9:38 am
have emailed you jean
February 21st, 2011 at 7:46 am
Hi Sally,
We have talked about men who have asked for money, can there be a possibility of a man posing as someone interested in you hence interested in investing in your country? there is a man who wants to send me a present but I barely know him and he says he is in love as most scammers so I’m having my doubts, if this is a new experience I thought I’d put it up here so others can know there is another type of scammer.
Regards,
Sunny
February 21st, 2011 at 7:59 am
Hi Sunny
They sure can and do send gifts, often with stolen credit cards or by getting one victim to send “his” gift to another victim (in the guise of sending it to his sister/aunt/mother/daughter). It all builds trust before they start asking for help.
They will often tell you they “proved” their love with a gift and you should now do the same.
Think about it logically, a stranger on the internet very quickly falls in love with you and wants to send you a gift …. does that sound like real life to you? … didn’t think so.
February 28th, 2011 at 2:54 am
Hi
Im am in sorta the same boat JT from Feb 19 post. I have been chatting with a man who says he is from the US but is in UK working on oil rigs. We have been chatting with him for 5 months. I have a record of 257 different conversations done by chatting with this man. He never professed his love for me till month 3. I have called him every name in the book and been totally rude to him when ever I feel he is lying to me even about little things. We met on a dating site and my profile stated dont contact me if you are a liar, cheater, scammer or thief because I can be a royal bitch. This man still contacted me. I really cant believe anyone has really lol. We have never spoke on the phone. He has never sent me gifts. We always communicate online. He recently became ill on the oil rig and has been in London. I have his name and address and have no way of finding out if he is real and would appreciate any help you could give me since you are there. I have had some bad feelings about him lately and just dont know what to think anymore I want him to be real but I dont want to be stupid either. please reply
February 28th, 2011 at 11:01 am
Hi Anne
I will send you an email and you can forward his details for me to check out.
The man JT was communicating with turned out to be a scammer and even the website for the oil company was fake … so take care and trust your gut instinct if it thinks something is wrong.
March 3rd, 2011 at 3:40 pm
All caught up in i believe a scam. His name is Micheal Hargreaves, stranded in London lives in Florida. Had a 6 mo. contract in London for I-cell and now is saying they sent his check to the US and he has now money to fly home on??????? And of course loves me and wants a life with me etc…….
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Hi Margo
Please think about this logically. If his employer had sent a cheque to the US instead of to him in the UK then he simply asks his employers to cancel the cheque and issue a new one to him in the UK. Perfectly simple. Also are we meant to believe this company bought him a one way ticket to the UK for a 6 month contract … did they expect him to swim back to the States?
Companies don’t employ morons, who can’t think their way out of a paper bag, to fly to the other side of the world and work for them, so the fact that he can’t think about having the cheque stopped means he is either an unemployable moron or a scammer.
My money is on scammer, please stop all contact with this person.
May 8th, 2011 at 6:23 am
I would love to see pic of Micheal Hargraves to see if its the same one I am talking to…pretty sure it is
March 5th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Sally, the following person and email id is a scammer on yahoodating site. I am sending some of the details. if you are aware of this person and suppose to working for british army in Iraq and she also has a link to the british army website. The following is the name and email id and other details of the person
joe
Cara Palthrow Add to Contacts
Attached to this mail is the breakdown of Sergeant Cara Palthrow leave bonus and allowance and it will be transferred into your account within 72 hours after final processing. Before the authorization of this transfer, you are to pay Power of attorney charges of £ 2750 to the transit department.we have to receive this fee and the bonus payment transferred into your account before Sergeant Cara Palthrow will be allowed to leave on the 17th of December.This is a newly introduced policy and agreed to by NATO and the British Army, knowing fully well that part funding of this pay will come from NATO.
this fee of £ 2750.00 British Pounds should be sent through western union money transfer to the Logistics manager in the British army.here are the details:
Name:Joslad Dunn
Address: Command headquarters, British Army
Whitehall Main Building
London, Greater London
Post code: SW1A 2HB
Country:United Kingdom.
PS: TREAT THIS AS A MATTER OF URGENCY
Yours in Service
AJ BRADSHAW(OBE)
March 5th, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Hi Joe
Wow they never give in do they and that is quite well written, anyone who doesn’t know how the military works could easily be fooled by that (particularly as the MoD address is right and the signator would check out with a simple google search (or appear to anyway)).
For anyone reading this ….. “sent through western union money transfer” – HUGE red flag, the British Army do NOT accept payments through Western Union and they don’t pay bonus payments.
They also don’t sign off with the Boy Scout closing lol
March 5th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I think I’ve got one too. He tells me he is a US govt contractor. Met him on POF. Within 1 week he was professing his love for me but needs me to wire $400 through Western Union for a new PC. He claims he dropped his. He wouldn’t call me but this week has called at least 6 times asking for the funds for the PC. I believe that I am being scammed. How can I be sure?
March 6th, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Hi Fran
Trust me you are being scammed, the story speaks for itself. If he is a govt contractor then why can’t he spend $400 of his own money to buy a new pc?!
What country does he say he is working in?
March 7th, 2011 at 4:01 am
He claims to be in Baghdad. He wouldn’t call me the first 3 weeks of our communication but this past week he has called 7 times! He sounds like a 20 year old, not a 61 year old. His grammar and spelling are terrible. He sent me pictures of his kids and I wonder whose kids they really are. Coincidentally, since our first communication my bank accts have been hacked and my FB has been hacked. I have been trying to find his profile on POF to report him but have had no luck. Your site was really helpful to me. Thanks for all your advice.
March 7th, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Im really not sure if im being scammed or not…ive been talking to a guy who messaged me from Myspace who says he is from Texas but is in Nigeria working on a construction project for a month. We are friends on Facebook as well and all the info on there says the same about him and there are comments from his american friends about his kids pictures too. Anyway a week after talking he said the project was being stopped as the local elections were taking place (which is true) and they had to stop for 2 weeks so he wanted to come and visit me for a week then take me with him to visit his 2 daughters for the second week and would be cashing his paycheque here once in the UK. He sent me a copy of the cheque and it was from a well known american bank. He claimed he was out of funds as he couldnt cash his cheque in Nigeria and needed cash to pay his hotel service bill which was £128 and they were holding his passport until he paid up. I did this for him as i was the only one he could ‘lean on’ for help. We have spoken on the phone several times and he has a strong US accent. Today he sent me his flight booking confirmation and it had everything on there that should be and he is meant to be coming here wednesday morning…he has paid by credit card but then said that KLM the airline wanted a fee of $600 for his medical and travelling allowance fees….he knows how i feel about the scams that are going on as i told him i had been scammed previously by a fake US soldier and said i was to trust him as he was not after my money at all. He even swore on his kids lives that he was telling the truth. Im really not sure now after seeing your article about the BTA scam…what i dont get is that i spoke to his eldest daughter on webcam and on yahoo and have pictures of her and its the same girl i saw on webcam. Im really confused on this….should i just wait to see if he arrives as promised…he said he has to return to Nigeria to complete the project in 2 weeks time then will be home. All his spelling is that of a typical american even some slang words they say too and so is his voice…i dont know what to think!!
March 7th, 2011 at 10:02 pm
Hi Sarah
My honest advise would be to not send another penny and see if he turns up … my gut tells me it’s a scam but of course I’m not psychic.
The first thing that jumps out at me, being well travelled, is the medical and travelling allowance fees. First of all an allowance is an allowed amount .. that is the definition .. so how can that fit in with medical fees? If he was sent there by a company then they would have company medical insurance for their employees and flight operators do not require people to have medical insurance. There is no such thing as travelling allowance fees. it just doesn’t exist anymore and when it did it was simply the maximum amount of hard currency (eg dollars or pounds) you could take out of the country.
Remember a flight booking confirmation means nothing, it just means he has booked the flight but you get the booking confirmation before you pay for it. And what does he mean you are the only one he can lean on … why the hell can’t he “lean on” his employers? His employers must know cheques can’t be cashed there (who pays employees by cheque anyway these days?) so why pay them in this way? Sorry but something about his story doesn’t ring true. This is 2011 and everyone has plastic (either credit or debit cards) now, especially if you work abroad, so why the need to ask a stranger on the net for a loan?
This daughter you spoke to on webcam, is she on his FB page and does she have you seen pictures of him with her in the US?
Why not use the Ask a Dating Question link at the top of this blog and send me all the details you have for him and I’ll see what I can spot. I would also be interested in a link to his FB page, as if this is a scam gang then something needs to be done about them.
March 8th, 2011 at 1:54 am
Hi Sally,
I have known a man for about 7 to 8 months and we have been talking on and off and he heard about the scamming etc. even offered to help assist me on finding the man who was scamming me at the time with the help of his friend who contacted me on cam, phoned me and even face book etc. He told me that he was a victim himself and how this man based in Malaysia had helped him. To cut the story short, I just wanted to do a check on him too so I googled him and to my shock I found him reported against, I know he recently changed his email address so I posted the information there.
I also want to inform others through this posting that I always ask those people to send emails as its easy to check where the email is originating from (through IP address) unless they have protected the IP address and to my amusement and amazement the results are shocking. 4 I have thus far found to be from Malaysia and one is still writing and now he is in Ireland.
Regards,
Sunny
March 8th, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Hi Sunny
Be careful with ip addresses, clever scammers can use proxy servers to hide their ip. Basically you see the proxy servers ip and not the originators ip.
March 8th, 2011 at 8:16 am
Thanks for your reply. I do believe he is a scammer now because i spoke to him last night and NOW he needs more money $1,500 as he accidentally broke a woman’s laptop on his way back from the place where i had called him and she had threatened him and the cops were called. He said he could be arrested at any time so i said if he was he would have been by now. I said i couldnt pay him any more money and he got upset saying he will miss his flight now because of me and that he had wasted his money on his credit card which i saw on the flight confirmation was a visa credit card (do americans have visa cards?) He was trying to make me feel guilty but i didnt back down. I told him to just stay calm and make sure he gets on that flight…he stopped answering me online after a while so im waiting now to see if he gets back to me at all…i doubt it somehow and realise ive made a fool of myself yet again! I seem to be a scam magnet and have trapped them all but this one i really thought was genuine especially having seen her on webcam as well. His ‘daughter’ apparently hates Facebook and no ive not seen any of her in his pages either. He goes by the name of Stevenson Parker on Myspace and Steve John Parker on Facebook. What i dont get though is the strong american accent he has but i guess im wrong on that too. I will let you know how it goes and if i hear back from him at all…probably not though.
March 8th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
Hi Sarah
Is it the Steve John Parker who used to work for Shell Oil and his about me information is copied and pasted from a woman’s myspace page?
They always have some kind of accident just before they are due to fly!!!
Yes Americans have visa credit cards. I will email you directly as I’d like to see the cheque and see if it a photoshop job.
Interesting to note he calls himself 2 different names and one has a surname as a christian name, scammers never seem to know the difference.
March 8th, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Please someone e-mail me if you have heard of a Micheal Hargreaves uses Yahoo. Stuck in London. Has had 6 mo. contract there in telecommunications. Says he lives in Ft.Lauderdale FL, born andraised in Canada. Wants me to be his Queen! In love right off the bat.
May 8th, 2011 at 6:25 am
you too…!!!
March 8th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Response to Joy’s scammer, my scammer used those exact same words. I am so positive its thesame guy but, using differente-mail and name
March 8th, 2011 at 10:24 pm
Steve Parker WAS a scammer as i messaged some women on his facebook page today and they all confirmed he had scammed them too so i lost a lot of money yesterday for absolutely nothing!!! One of the women who he scammed in the US messaged me and said she was still talking to him and he had $7,000 from her and as soon as she got my message she blocked him..he then messaged me saying to not speak to her again and he told her i was a liar and was just a friend…he is unbelievable and kept calling us both to tell us to stop talking to one another…we arent talking to him again and never will do…just feel so sorry for his next victim cos he is such a smooth operator and a professional at this…uses all sorts of jobs to entice women in too so beware of a man called Steve (Stevenson) Parker who is either a civil engineer or a real estates person working in Nigeria. Another lesson learned i guess
March 8th, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Oh no Sarah, you didn’t send him the medical and travel allowance money did you?
Have you reported him to FB and MySpace .. of course he can simply create new profiles but it’s better if we keep them on the run.
March 16th, 2011 at 3:57 am
Stevenson (Steve) Parker has been sweet talking me for a week and sent me 18 long stem roses today and told me loved me. I’ve known all along something was right because I kept asking him questions and the timeline of his life was not matching up. My friend just forwarded me this site so I’m grateful to have found out before he asked me for money. I had a feeling it would have come to this so I’m glad I found out now.
March 16th, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Hi Irritated
YAY 2 in one day, I am so happy. You’re the second potential victim the information here has saved from the heartache and loss of money today.
Many thanks to your friend … you owe them lunch!!
I wonder who’s money he used to send you the roses? Enjoy them, at least it’s stolen money he can’t spend on himself.
March 16th, 2011 at 10:23 pm
It was obviously MY money then that he used to send you them! OMG!!! I sent him it last week until i found out too late what sort of lowlife he was…and can you believe he tried talking to me again TODAY saying that he cant forget about me and wants to be with me no matter what and that money dont matter to him anymore..that he loves me and that GOD will get us through it together….he is just unbelievable and seriously needs to be caught now and sent to jail for fraud and deception…the crap that comes out that guys mouth is just so laughable now! Am so glad my post helped you realise he aint who he says he is…dont believe a word of it! He is playing us all against eachother for his own greed and cowardice of not owning up to his lies.
March 16th, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Could be anyone’s hard earned money Sarah, I doubt very much he scams one person at a time.
Anyway even if it’s yours at least he didn’t get to enjoy that part of it … not much of a consolation I must admit. At least you can sleep well tonight knowing you stopped someone else falling into the same trap.
March 9th, 2011 at 12:01 am
Yepp sadly i did send him the money yesterday…and feel such an idiot for it too. Yes its the Steve John Parker you said about. Feel so sorry for the real guy and using his little girls pictures too. I wonder if he knows about this??
March 9th, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Hi Sarah
Well for that I’m afraid you need a slapped leg, it was rather silly after the information you got from this blog. Lesson learned though I hope.
Almost all victims worry about whether the real person knows their pictures are being used and to be honest even if they did there is very little they could do about it. I wish someone would come up with some technology that prints SCAMMER across any unauthorised downloaded images, it would make life so much easier.
Thanks for sending the documents through, too late to help you but hopefully I can use them to help others.
March 9th, 2011 at 12:51 am
Dear Sally,
You are absolutely right, this same person is definitely a well trained classy scammer, very smart and can talk about anything under the sun. I have been checking his IP address for a while and until January it was showing Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and since February its showing Ireland. He had told me that his parents were going to Europe, his father being Italian and mother Irish, in reality I think he is there instead.
Also through this mail I want others to note that this man’s name is Jamie Young, claims to be from Cincinnati, Ohio and says he is a businessman, he may be shrewd but little things give way as scammer.
March 9th, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Hello, I have met two guys, the first one Stephen Keller, email address is keller.stephen26@yahoo.com, american stuck in Nigara, wanted wired money, haven’t responded. Second guy’s name is Adams Welsh from Texas, working now in UK, took his daughter along, worked in Canada, wanted me to set up an account to have money transfered to my account from a canadian company, don’t feel right about this, email address is adamswelsh@yahoo.com. thanks for your help and assistance here.
March 13th, 2011 at 7:39 am
Sally you said something remarkable to Sarah. You mentioned a gang that needed to be stopped. I know this is true and I will forward the proof. I have learned that these individuals do not work alone. I know that Dearick Bennett spent too much time on me and it was not financially beneficial for him. He reacted in the exact manner that you have been warning people about. The self-pitier ( I have nothing and no one in my life who cares about me…except you, my love) Then there is the wheeler dealer (once I finish this contract you receive your money back, I promise and a little something extra for your helping me) and the last one, the sometimes intimidating is the dark shadowy figure (he is the one that becomes indignant and will curse you out, will say all manner of vile and evil to you to scare you into obedience. If they have your address they will make veiled threats about your address and them finding you. Don’t worry about that they need a BTA to get out of the country. Since you are his only source of income and you are not going to help then he has no need for BTA if he can not get out of the country. Take that money and go shopping you deserve it.
Okay I got lost. The reason I know that they work in teams of at least 2 people is I got the same letter twice from two different individuals. I verbatim, word for word. I saved them both so I can forward them to you.
Just like they enjoying trolling the internet for naive women and men. My cousin and I have been doing some trolling of our own. They are out there, I promise you. Actually there was another guy, a white guy who chatted me up. He gave me the creeps, so I did some research about where he attended highschool and college. Of course he attended Oxford University and Oxford (another name would be here but I have forgotten it) highschool. The only problem is I looked up the school and learned it was an all girl school. When I asked him about it, I never recieved an answer. I will have more to report later today. I am bone tired. Talk to you later,
March 13th, 2011 at 8:32 am
@ Petra an American stuck in Nigeria that is a SCAMMER all day if he was really an American he could go to the US Embassy for assistance DO NOT SEND one Penny of your money if you do it will be lost they find scamming funny even have a song and video about it bragging about how they Chop your dollars.
March 13th, 2011 at 8:09 pm
I would like to address this to everyone who has lost something in these relationships. First I want to say this IT IS ALRIGHT TO WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU!!! Love is a wonderful thing. Please do not allow these lost individuals cause you to change who you are. GOD CREATED us just the way HE WANTED us to be!!! We are loving, caring and compassionate people. I for one intend to stay this way. We have all been changed by our experiences. The one change that should remain in effect is that we are wiser. What I lost, was a person that made me laugh and I enjoyed his company. I did send him 200.00 but I knew what he was. I gave him every opportunity to come clean and have a respectable life. He chose the life that he is currently living. All any of us can do is to continue living. We are wiser, stronger and special. What we must do is spread the word about these individuals. They rely on our being ashamed of being scammed to keep them protected. There is no shame in believing that another human being needs help. I have waged an all out war on scammers. I have gathered a great deal of information on Dearick Bennett and I have contacted the FBI, Facebook, Yahoo and that is just the short list. As Sally has stated we must keep themm on the run. We must stay determined. We must think of the next person that they scam. When I come across one of them, I play their game. I have several email addresses that I use to keep them engaged. My logic is this, if I keep them busy that is one less scammer lurking on the internet searching for another victim. I gather information and I report them. It is actually kind of fun. Geting their hopes up that they have hit the Mother lode. It is kind of like playing “dress up”, like we did as children. I get to be whoever I would like to be. I am committed to this pursuit. Even though I did not lose a lot, as others have, I have assume the position of becoming the voice for those who have yet to find their voices. I am angry about all the sweet loving people that have been scammed out of their life savings, their homes and other things they have lost. I want to finally say GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL!!!
March 13th, 2011 at 11:52 pm
Would you believe that ive had a conversation today with the Stevenson Parker…he suddenly came on in a chat message asking me how i was and would i still help him if i could…the cheek of it! I told him no of course. He claimed that he still loved me and always would and he would accept his fate. I even told him maybe i should do what he does and scam men for money and he told me to never to do such a thing and that i was mad if i did…strange for him to say that! I think he knows his days are numbered now and he knows he wont get anywhere with me now. I would still like to know how he did receive the money i sent as it was sent to him personally and he had to have a passport with his picture and name on surely to get it? Im baffled if he is the real man or still a nigerian pretending to be him? He seems very sorry for himself as i can tell but it wont change anything and he knows that…
March 14th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Hi Sarah
He is not the real man. You don’t need a passport to collect money from WU in Africa, all you need is the number. If one office won’t give you the money you just go to another.
Of course he still loves you and always will … while there is a chance of getting money out of you. He will try using anger/sadness/guilt/etc to get you to change your mind and send money … do not fall for it.
March 14th, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Hi Sarah,
I am sorry for your loss. If he is a Nigerian you should be able to tell by the way that he speaks. It will be very broken English. It is time for you to just walk away. I know that it is difficult. I can tell by your posts that you truly love him. You have allowed him to devalue you and that is not right. You need to practice some “tough love” on yourself. I know the urge is there to hear his voice. I know what it is like to be moved by the words of a man. I know that he makes your days brighter. I know he makes you feel loved. I know that you want a life with him. I know all of the feelings that you have for him. Here is something else I know. You do not love yourself as you should. You deserve better than this. You know this, don’t you? I am here to help you deal with those feelings. If you want to converse with me, I am available to you. Just let Sally know and she will put you in touch with me. I am currently constructing a site similar to Sally’s. I have committed my life to making the world aware of these individuals. Whenever I come across them I will be reporting them to any and all agencies that I can find. My ultimate goal is to make sure that their victims are taken car of psychologically.
My partner in this pursuit is a counselor and she has agreed to help those who are in need. Sarah, you are WONDERFUL, you are AWESOME, you are A TREASURE, you are BLESSED BY GOD, you possess ALL OF THE GOOD THINGS IN THIS WORLD. Look in the mirror and get acquainted with Sarah, THE STRONG, RESILIENT, BEAUTIFUL and INTELLIGENT woman. GOD BLESS AND KEEP you.
March 20th, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Hi Susie
Yes I think you should report the whole thing to the FBI. This guy is simply moving money from victim to victim to try to stay out of the loop but the shipment of computers should be easy to trace.
The reason you need to report it is that a victim down the road might report it and the police may come knocking on your door. What would you say, you forgot to report it? Much better for you to report it, that way they should quickly see you were a victim and not an accomplice. I don’t think you are in trouble with the law at this point, you are just a victim but if you fail to report it now then you could end up in trouble with the law.
Sally
March 20th, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Hi Susie…If your local police dept appears luke-warm about your complaint as mine did, then you can file your complaint through The Internet Crime Complaint Center (ICCC) (partnered with the FBI). They will review your complaint and forward it to your local authorities who will then contact you if they want your documentation. Hope this helps.
http://www.ic3.gov/complaint/default.aspx
March 15th, 2011 at 12:11 am
Hello JT thanks for your comments
His english is word perfect and he writes as an american too. I spoke to him too on the phone lots of times and he had a strong american accent too so yes i fell for it all. He is clever i will give him that. Im ok and have moved on from him. I know how to spot the fakes now and have caught out many before and after him. Thanks for your kind words and i shall remember everything and that im worth a whole lot more than what i got with them all. They need stringing up the lot of them and left to rot!
March 15th, 2011 at 3:42 am
EXCELLENT SARAH!!! I am so happy to hear that you are well in mind and heart. I understand that you have run across others. GREAT!!! This request is for all of you dear and honest people. When you come across one, PLEASE DO ME A HUGE FAVOR, and send me their information. You can do this in either two ways. 1. email me at stop_scammers_today@yahoo.com or 2. make a post at stopscammerstoday.wordpress.com I am committed to waging war on these predators. Even if all you have is an email address that is fine. I have been inspired by Sally and by all the hurt and anguish that you loving people have had to endure. Thank you all and MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP each of you as well as your families!!! MAY HIS FAVOR FOREVERMORE BE MANIFESTED IN each of your lives and your families lives.
J
March 16th, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Hi JT–I will email you my story as well as the scammer’s contact info. Would you also like pics?
March 16th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Hi Irritated, could you also go to Romancescam and leave their info and pics, it may help someone else.
http://www.romancescam.com/forum/portal.php
March 17th, 2011 at 9:17 am
Hi irritated (is your name Anita at all?)
Steve Parker spoke to me again this morning acting like nothing had happened as yesterday he told me he loved me so i played him for a while then asked him about why was he sending roses to another woman. He asked how did i know but i didnt give him any details as to how i knew as i blocked him in the end…he asked me if i knew you cos he said you had asked him to ‘surprise you’ so PLEASE if he tries to talk to you and gives you a sob story and blames me in any way ignore him and block him…he finally admitted to me he is a scammer and that another one will be coming our way. Im just glad you didnt send him any money cos he is a first class LIAR!!
March 18th, 2011 at 2:45 am
Hi Sarah,
No, my name is not Anita. Since I’ve started ignoring him (2 days ago) he has been contacting me non-stop through text messages, emails, called 3 times (I didn’t answer), and is trying to get me back on IM. For some reason, the blocks I’ve placed on my phone and email are not working and my service providers don’t know why.
I replied to an email today and told him that I know he’s a scammer and to stop contacting me. But he didn’t. He wants to know why I think he’s a scammer because he hasn’t asked me for money. He wanted to know if it’s because he’s in Nigeria. This guy is amazing. I’ve called him out for being a scammer and he’s still coming around. I can’t believe he just doesn’t move on to the next person.
To clear the record, I never asked for a surprise. He just sent the roses as a ploy to lure me in deeper. I was surprised to find them on my doorstep. I doubt he used your money to send me the roses. I’m sure he used someone’s stolen credit card.
The only thing I have to point out is that the guy contacting me has a poor command of the English language and certain words he uses proves he’s not an American. However, the pictures he has sent me looks like the guy on the Steve John Parker Facebook page. So, it seems there are at least 2 scammers using the same name.
Hang in there. At some point, they will give up and stop annoying us.
March 18th, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Hi Irritated
It will take time for him to give up, even after you call him out, as he will hope to convince you he is genuine. Remember that to him you are a business investment.
March 19th, 2011 at 12:16 am
Well the one i talked to asked me was your name Anita so at least i know he did send this other woman roses then even if it wasnt to you cos the Steve Parker i know spoke very good american and writes excellently too…never any spelling errors. He also has a facebook page that im on there plus a few other women he had got money from…one contacted me yesterday saying he had messaged her telling her i was sending him money!! Yeah ok then mate! She told him to get lost in better words though lol….ive not seen him online since so is no doubt using one of his other email addresses to scam some other poor woman. He claims he is a ghost and that no one can catch him…the devil will one day im certain of that! The one who tried scamming you is obviously using HIS pictures!! LOL serves him right!
March 20th, 2011 at 12:10 am
Hi Sarah…Thanks for the update. I recommend registering on romancescam.com and posting your story and pics in the appropriate forum. I posted my scammer story, his picture, and a picture of his “friend” who’s profile I set up. The moderator already linked the friend’s picture to another scammer who is using the same pictures. Definitely check out the site. May be you’ll be able to make links for others and save someone else from getting scammed. Good luck!
March 20th, 2011 at 12:52 am
Can you tell me which forum on there that i look for him as am interested to see what you put and the pics to see if their the same ones i have….theres so many and i dont know where to find your post on the site. Thanks so much..ive not heard from him now for 2 days so thats the end of him i hope!
March 15th, 2011 at 4:34 am
My experience says these men and women are citizens of any country so now its not limited to just africa so yes the accent and language skills will obviously be good and strong. So girls don’t look out for africans only, they are from all over the world, the only thing we must realise is anyone who asks for money is a loser to avoid no matter where they are from. Good luck girls, have learnt the hard way just like everyone else but now I can smell the rats from a mile.
March 19th, 2011 at 2:24 am
Hi Ladies–thought you’d find this story interesting….
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42126716/ns/today-today_people
March 21st, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Hi I met a guy on a UK dating site, said he was Turkish, goes by the name George Mills, and works for himself, and had a twenty year old son, studing to be a Doctor, he sent me 4 different photos of himself and he looked like some thing you would see in Hollywood, wasn’t long until he asked me to send a game for his son as it was his 21st Birthday, he told me he lived in Chelsea London, but gave me a Liverpool address to send the game to, I sad I did not believe he was genuine, and refused to sedn the game, and told him I was hurt he shoukld have asked me to as we had not met,he replied to me saying not to worry about the game as he was sorry he had upset me, and how much he loved me. This guy has being mailing me up to 3 times a day for the past 3 months, he then informed me he had to go to West Africa on a contract for 3 weeks and he told me when he got there after a few days his bank account had being closed as one of his clients had being under investigation for money laundering, but he was not too woried, (planting the seed)2 weeks later he told me he was taking his flight home on Tuesday at 7pm, but at 8pm he phoned me saying he was not allowed to board his flight as he had the money he recived as payment in cash in his case and it was airline policy not to allow this, he said he didn’t know what to do and he was worried but he did not ask me for anything as yet, but alas he phoned me back a bit later that evening and said he was thinking and I asked what wer you thinking George and he said he was wondering if I could help, I said you want to put the money in my account and he said yes, I said sorry but I could not do this, and that I did not trust any body and he said he trusted me and to this I said but I’m not asking you to do this for me, he hung up or got cut off, later that night he emailed me saying not to worry his cousin had agreed to let the money come in to their account in the UK. and he loved me and we would be ok. Next morning at 7am he phoned me again sayin they needed £1200, for the money to go in to the account I told him this was a scam and I was smarter than that and not to contact me again and I hung up. what bank was opened between 8pm and 7am to give him this information and I never knew you had to pay to put money in to a bank account, the accent was African for sure but the picture was of a Turkish National. he did say at the start of all this he was shy because of his accent mostly and his English was good but he mnade a few mistakes in spelling and details, said his flight was at 4 onday he was flying to Africa in email and said he was taking his shower at 3.15 on same day, maybe he had his own Plane.Lol . he has emailed me again saying he fell very stupid knowing I never trusted him at all. His emails were lovely and they made happy for 3 months, and I wished he was real but my good sense told me to know better and he got none of my money so it could be worse, please Ladies send no money! what kind of man would ask you to do this ??? and tell your story as they get away with it when we do not tell…
March 22nd, 2011 at 10:53 pm
Hi Mary
Thanks very much for his name and story. Could you let us know his email address please.
Well done for understanding it’s a scam and not sending money.
March 21st, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Hello. I’m starting to feel a bit stupid. Could do with some help and don’t know who to turn to. Feel a bit of an idiot talking to my friends or family – but the person I’ve had on/off contact with for a few months now – since the end of last year has come out with too many far fetched stories/tales. I can’t believe anyone could have so many bad things happen in their lives.
Met on one of those free dating websites.
He claims to be an Civil Engineer working in Nigeria (on a new Airport) – but I’ve had a fone call tonight from a ‘doctor’ there asking to speak to his ‘wife’ and that he was unconscious and in a coma and couldn’t speak to me. Am sure he said it was a ‘fatal’ car crash!
No mention of money yet or anything but I’ve wanted to believe he was coming back to the UK in a few weeks to meet me. He’s disappeared on me each time we’ve meant to have met in London (family deaths, other ‘unavoidable’ tales)
He claims to be American – but his accent doesn’t sound right to me. I’ve wanted it to all be true. He has a son and claims to be a widow (wife in car crash) Wants me to be mother of his child etc, etc (christ I feel stupid now! DOH!)
Not sure if I should post the name up he uses as I’m still not sure if any of this is true or not. It’s gone on and off for months now. IM chats and fone calls. I feel a bit scared. I have a child to consider myself.
Pls HELP!
March 22nd, 2011 at 10:45 pm
Hi Trudy
The story is 100% scammer I’m afraid. I will email you directly if you don’t want to post his details here and we’ll see what we can find out but please prepare for bad news.
Please don’t feel stupid, these people are very good con men and just read the comments here to see how many people fall for their scams.
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Hi Sally, it was when I was looking up Mali on the internet that I came accross your site for scams, as I did not think to look for such a site and I could not believe how big this romance scam is, and well done to you for this great site.
George Mills sent me 4 different photo graphs of him self and I wondered why, he would say my son took this photo of me today and I thought you would like it, and another time when he was away on business im Ghana he sent another photo saying I was fiddling on my phone and my driver said this was perfect, hope you like it. the photo the dating site was profssionally taken, and this is common. His email is, georgemills20000@live.com
Will send some of his photos also and thanks again Sally, Mary
April 9th, 2011 at 5:46 am
Mary, I’m pretty sure this is the same man that has been recently contacting me using the name George Mulano. He also e-mailed me 4 photos claiming to be a Turkish National but sounding African, said he was a widower with a 23 year old son serving in Iraq. Would you mind terribly e-mailing me the photos you have of him please? I need to know if I’m being taken for a ride. Thank goodness I’ve been wise enough not to send any money to him.
April 9th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Mary if you want to compare photos with Kerri please let me know and you can both send them to me and I will forward them or send you each others email addresses … sorry I don’t like to publish email addresses on here as so many scammers read this blog.
March 24th, 2011 at 1:48 am
Wow the word cos makes you a scammer!!! Im from the US and we use alot of different words for alot of different things, I myself use cos alot cos Im a lazy typer, that certainly doesnt make me a scammer. I read your first post on here when you were trying to see if you were being scammed. And I was so impressed by your out look on these scammers. I thought now here is someone who isnt bitter and is looking on the positive side of your situation. I have a man who could very well be a scammer but he has never asked me for anything except that I care about him. We have been chatting for 6 months now, he knows I have no money to send, When we first started chatting I was point blank and told him I have no money so if this is what your looking for look elsewhere. 6 months later he still gets in touch with me,and has never asked me for anything. We have become very good pen pals.lol And Yes he does have a piece of my heart, but so does my girlfriend I go have coffee with. I know you were hurt and your heart was probably broken but you went from being very understanding to almost a vigilant. I know i dont know you personally or your situation and I do know what these men and women are doing is very wrong. But is it right of you to condemn someone cos they type a certain way or say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I had been in a relationship with an African male and he was incredible. I do believe we would be together today if it wasnt such a long commute to see each other. Neither of us would move due to our career choices. I know you are trying to do a good thing here. But please choose what you say wisely and give advice that will do more good than harm you. I really hope you are not so damaged by your scammer that you can go on in life and meet your one and only. Not all men are bad.
March 24th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Hi Anne
Thanks for your comments and the original post has been removed at the request of the poster … we all have to learn as we go along.
March 24th, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I have sent Sally an email explaining myself and asking her to remove my post. I readily admitted that I was wrong for categorically saying that anyone that uses the word “cos” is an African and a scammer. It was and is my experience that every person that I received notes and letters from have turned out to be Arican and a scammer who used the word “cos”. I did not take into consideration the new language that is being used on the internet. I am from the “old school” of grammar and language usage. I was not but am now aware that this new language is something that I must educate myself. If I have offended anyone, that was not intent and I heartily apologize, my only desire is to make the lives of scammers as uncomfortable as humanly possible. Does that make me a vigilante? I say “NO”. It makes me an individual that sees a wrong, has experienced the pain of that wrong and daily read about that wrong expanding in its destruction. Yes, I was able to find something positive in my experience. That is my mental make-up. Finding the good in a horrible situation makes healing possible, in my world. What I lost was more dear to me than any form of currency. I would have rather given the money than to have suffered the heartbreak. I too have dated Africans. I have friends who are African. I have not demonized the African race, because my blood is African. It is because of my African heritage that I take this so seriously. You seemed to have completely misunderstood my message. I am happy that you and your friend have a beautiful relationship. Please do not think that I am bitter, no I am determined. If I can save anyone the pain, the embarrassment, the self doubt and all of the other negative emotions which arise from being scammed because they were compassionate, then what I do is well worth it.
March 24th, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Don’t sweat it JT, we all live and learn.
Remember scammers learn how to “chat” by talking to people online, so they will simply pick up slang and local phrases from those they speak to. Victims often see these as proof the scammer is genuine, or how else would he know it’s a boot in the UK but a trunk in the USA … the answer obviously is he speaks to people in both countries.
My advise is don’t concentrate on what they are saying but on what they are not saying. An example would be a sudden comment in chat giving specific knowledge of your country/town .. for example “yes I know there is a great cafe called Sip-it at 5 Cental Avenue, Chorley … who speaks like this? The answer is nobody, he has just looked up cafe’s in Chorley on the intenet. If you look at the times you will find there was a short delay (about 1 minute) before he typed this, plenty of time for google to give him the information.
Grammar can of course give a real clue as to whether the person is a natural English speaker.
March 25th, 2011 at 12:01 am
Hi – came upon your blog by accident a while ago and have been lurking since then. A couple of things crossed my mind that I’d like to throw into the pot.
JT I’m sure you are a really nice lady but your mistake with the word ‘cos’ was a biggie. It concerns me that if people who don’t know what they are doing start playing at tracking down these low-lives they could make the situation worse? I’m sure you have the best of motives in mind ladies but do you have the experience to know the legalities/time zones/military jargon etc?
The second thing – Sally its time you had a DONATE button on this site lady. You’ve been doing this work for a long time now and I would like to bet it takes a lot of time checking out the facts for people. Read somewhere else on the site you were thinking about a site just for scam-catching and I reckon thats a good idea so long as you charge folk.
March 25th, 2011 at 11:28 pm
Hi Harry
Thanks for your comments and for noticing the hours I put into trying to stop people becoming victims. My mother keeps nagging me to put a donate button on because of the long hours I spend here and on email dealing with this … maybe it’s time I thought about doing it.
March 26th, 2011 at 1:17 am
I fully support Harry’s suggestion.
Best wishes
March 26th, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Finally I found the right place where I could state my views and hopefully get noticed after I had been scammed from a guy who claimed he is a doctor from the US. Some of the questions posed here are relevant to my situation. Indirectly my lack of awareness and information on the internet dating scams has contributed to my ignorance about these scams. If you are like me, living all my life in an Asian country, a single woman in her late-40s, living alone, holding a full time job, you’ll be more likely to surf the internet for job-related information and not have many friends to talk to about romance. Being alone I also do not have contact among the younger age group of women who will have spent more time researching the topic.Yes, I do sometimes hear of scams but I do not get the full details on the strategies scammers use to operate and tactics they use to win the trust and sympathy from women. The scammer convinced me to go off the
site and because I so busy attending to his ‘requests’ I didn’t have the time to have second thoughts on what I was doing. Also he kept convincing me over the phone for hours over and over again that I was doing it out of love whenever I begin objecting to some of his requests that sounded a bit weird. He would be speaking to me in his kitchen at home preparing his evening meal etc. etc. Or when driving and using the GPS in his car. In my case if the dating site had kept e-mailing me information weekly about how scams operate and how to avoid them, or sob stories, or how to report them I would definitely have noticed.
Especially if the date site e-mails carried big warning signs that are hard to miss. I didn’t read the warnings on the web site and as this was my first time, I was caught up in the rush of the romance. I agree much of the bad experiences was due to lack of judgment or common sense on my behalf. But if I had more warnings, this would have alerted me to take some kind of action. I did try to verify the scammer’s identity but I did not know what is the best way to get results. I come from a foreign country(Asian) who supports a different culture. For example he sent a bank statement that appeared real but because I have never
seen a statement from the US banks I didn’t know if it’s real. I recently discovered that most probably I was speaking to someone who has an American accent, and very intelligent too, but was hired by the scammer to do the job. He told me his computer was hacked into, and that could also mean mine was too. So I reformatted my hard disk, and closed my YAHOO! account I was using to receive his e-mails. He faked the hacking by e-mailing spams and Nigerian type scam letters until my e-mail was full. I am also a Muslim, and as the website I went on is designated to Muslims the scammer also potrayed himself as a God fearing
Muslim. He talked endlessly of religion to appeal to my conscience. I hope some of the information will go to providing more safeguard options because common sense fails you every time when you think you are in love.
March 27th, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Hi Azzureen
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it will no doubt help others in the same place.
I wanted to point out a couple of things in your comments that really are very important for others:
1. The scammer convinced me to go off the site and because I so busy attending to his ‘requests’ I didn’t have the time to have second thoughts on what I was doing.
2. I didn’t read the warnings on the web site and as this was my first time, I was caught up in the rush of the romance.
3. He faked the hacking by e-mailing spams and Nigerian type scam letters until my e-mail was full.
4. the scammer also potrayed himself as a God fearing Muslim.
These are all really important points and without which the scams could not work. They need to get you “alone”, away from mainstream life (on or offline) and then as you say romance takes the place of sense. They need you to trust them. Many times we can believe any old nonesense in our heads but if we speak them out loud the rose tinted glasses fall off and we can see the truth .. this is why scammers need to get you in a one on one basis.
The faked computer hacking is simply to build your trust .. they are your man and will protect you.
They will also be whatever you want or need them to be, whether that is Muslim, Jew, Christian or devil worshipper. They can be vegetarian, an eco warrior or a tango teacher … whatever floats your boat is what they will become. They are very good at it, great actors and liars, so no wonder so many women who just want to find love fall for their lies.
Thanks again for your comments.
March 26th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Hi again
I posted about a Stevenson Parker a few weeks ago and since then i have caught out three more scammers, two are definite i think cos having not met them they are asking for money as i am meant to be their loved one -they go by the names of John Fisher an american who is in Mali with his 5 year old son on an orphanage project (his excuse is his son is ill in hospital with Maleria and needs a special diet before treatment and he is broke after paying for the treatment) and Eric Roberts an american in Nigeria on a art gallery project (his excuse is he hired a tractor and the guy he hired to drive it broke it and he now has to pay for the damages and is broke having nothing left for food). Both seem real as i have spoken to both on the phone and their grammer is good too but have both asked me to help them to get themselves out of trouble which of course i refused…they are both still talking to me (just) but even though they both knew i had been scammed before they think i can still trust them to get my money back. No way am i!! I have been playing these two for a few weeks now to see how far they would go and the inevitable happened of course.
The other guy im not sure of yet though there are a few signs. His name is Joe Bruss an american living here in the UK and is a gold and diamond trader. I have tracked his emails and they came from Ghana yet i have seen him on webcam twice. I questioned him about his mails and he got all defensive saying i didnt trust him i then got mails from two different areas in the UK. He said he had a roaming router or something like that and they could come from anywhere. He has arranged to meet me on wednesday before he flies to china on thursday on business – he even asked me to go with him on the trip and even pay back the money i lost to Steve Parker so i wasnt out of pocket anymore as he likes me so much already..i really am not sure on this one yet so will see how it goes first. What do you think? I seem to attract scammers dont i…is it so hard to find a genuine man on the internet? However I am glad that im so much more aware of the signs now and im happy to chat to them that message me but as soon as the word ‘money’ is mentioned its Goodbye! I hope all you women out there are more aware now.
March 27th, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Hi Sarah
If his email address is bruss_joe@yahoo.com then he has been reported as a scammer here ..
http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=26879
Please people, as soon as you get a new contact google their email address, name and one line of their message to you and see what comes up in the search results. If something comes up great it will give you information but if nothing comes up it doesn’t make them genuine.
What are the red flags in his story Sarah?
1. Getting defensive when you questioned about his emails … if he was genuine why would he be defensive or expect you, a total stranger, to trust him?
2. Roaming router … there is such a thing but it’s not what he is suggesting it is .. a quick google search will confirm. This is how international roaming routers work “the latest IOS software will allow international roaming by switching isps as international borders are crossed.” ie if I go from UK to Germany my laptop will naturally switch to a local ISP in Germany, giving me a different ip address. Obviously you can also use roaming routers within the UK, so travelling from Glasgow to London your laptop would pick up isps as you travel but it doesn’t suddenly disappear to China .. it’s like a radio signal, as you drive down the motorway the radio switches to the strongest signal. So once you questioned him about emails coming from Ghana he then switched top a proxy server, masking his real ip and suggesting he was actually in the UK. (all that said .. I am not very technically savvy so am happy for a techo bod to come and tell us how wrong I am and Yahoo have large routers in Ghana and bounce emails off them .. but to me it’s a red flag).
3. Going to China and paying you back … does this sound realistic? Remember the rule, if it sounds too good to be true then no doubt it is.
As for the other two.
The name John Fisher came up in a fraud scam last year linked with a few different email addresses (info@lee.com, barr.jsmith@lawyer.com, drjohnfisher@yahoo.com, etc). RED FLAG .. he is working on an orphanage, in a country where malaria is a common problem with young children, but the orphanage are refusing to treat his child because he can’t afford it!! It’s just nonsense. If someone came to help you with a charitable cause are you going to leave his child to die when you have the medicine to give him? No, neither would I. Are we also to assume he has no family or friends who would help save his childs life? Don’t think so. Let’s be frank here, if your 5 year old child had malaria and needed medicine what would you be prepared to do to get the money … yep, so would I and if he was a real father with a sick child he would too. Last but not least .. malaria kills millions of children a year around the globe, so it’s not just a sniffle … yet while his 5 year old child is effecively dying (through lack of medicine) he is partaking in online dating!!! Does this sound remotely normal or believable? NO.
Eric Roberts … so he went to Nigeria on a one way ticket and hired a tractor and broke it??!! BS, pure BS. Who goes to Africa on an art project with a one way ticket and hires a tractor? We have to assume he only has a one way ticket because if he had no money for food he would use his return ticket home, which can easily be changed for a different date. He also has no family, friends or colleagues he can ask for help so must “fall in love” to get help .. rather than nip over to the US embassy.
Sarah you don’t attract scammers any more than other people do .. it’s just that other people recognise the scam immediately and block them. Unfortunately you are too trusting and I feel sure this is one of your finest qualities and makes you a special person but you need to start being less trusting in the online world. You are learning now, which is great, and I hope you continue to learn and will quickly get to the point where you recognise the story as BS and simply block them (before you start chatting on the phone .. you do know half of them use premium rate numbers don’t you).
March 27th, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Joe Bruss has two other emails which ive been talking to him on they are: joesugarlips@hotmail.com and joesugarlips@yahoo.com. He tends to send me an email each morning now from the UK probably to get me off the scent and he wont do cam anymore either as its obviously a guy who is his accomplice or even a video being played as he never stays on long and he dont really fit the pics he sent me either. What a lowlife!
Ive told the John Fisher to find someone else to scam cos he aint getting a penny out of me ever and that if he is that desperate to get the embassies help or the charities out there.
This Eric Roberts ive told the same. Losers the lot of them!!
March 27th, 2011 at 10:19 pm
Well done Sarah. Your time is much better spent finding a local dating site and talking to genuine people there, not waiting for scammers to send their latest sob story to get money from you. You’re learning, well done.
March 27th, 2011 at 5:52 am
Azureena,
Please do not be so hard on yourself. It is never wrong to want to be loved. I have been in your position. Yes it does give you pause and cause you to doubt yourself and your sensibilities, PLEASE DON’T. We all want to be loved and want to have someone to lavish our love upon. We live and we learn. There is no place to go but up, a very wise woman gave me these words of encouragement when I did something unwise. Be gracious and forgiving to yourself. We are often our own worst critics. I am your staunch supporter who is standing up to applaud you for your wisdom in telling your story. The more war stories told, I believe the victim count will begin to go down. Pat yourself on the back, you have come out on the other side WISER and STRONGER!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!
April 6th, 2011 at 4:18 am
Hi Sally ~ I’m so glad I found your website. I’ve was contacted by Robert Eric on plenty of fish.com. I should have been more concerned at first that he was from Liverpool, UK and I was from a little town outside Buffalo, NY. He claimed to have been looking for his “missing rib” and would go anywhere in the world to find it. We quickly changed over to hotmail (and caneled our POF accounts) after 2 different e mail addresses on yahoo his accounts wouldn’t let him send messages to me. We’ve talked for probably 6 weeks now. He was a widower with a 7 year old daughter (same as me). His wife was killed in a car accident one year and 4 months ago. He sounded so amazing..always sending me morning poems that he had written just for me and making me fall for him and his daughter almost instantly. A month after we started talking he went to Mumbai India for a month for computer training. During this time his Mother, Felicia Eric and his sister Cheryl Herold both had started writing me. One night his mother e mails me and said that his daughter (who consiquently was living with her grandparents sine his wife died) was experiencing chest pains and they had rushed her to the hospital. The next day we were told she had to have emergency surgery for VSD. The insurance company however would only pay for 1/2 the surgery due to some unresolved claim dispute. He said he could not find a western union in Mumbai to send her 1000 pounds…and that he still needed 300 more pounds that he didn’t have on his credit card. He didn’t outright ask but was playing on the fact that I had become a concerned party to his daughters well being and I asked if he needed me to help if I could. He said that would be great. Thing is…it started nagging at me that he couldn’t find a Western Union in Maumbi…it’s a huge city..that’s impossible. So I started researching internet dating scams…and I found stories that were so similar to the one he had been telling me. So I questioned him the next time he came on messenger. He immediately got upset and told me not to e mail his mother or his sister anymore and that I have made him sad due to my unwillingess to trust him. It’s only been 2 days and he has tried to contact me (as well as his siter and mother) but I haven’t responded. I feel stupid that I could have fallen for a scheme like this. The only thing I am out is a care package I had sent to his daughter full of barbie dolls, dress up clothes and a stuffed Easter bunny. Hope he enjoy the toys…cause they aren’t getting my money!! I hope that my story helps just one more person not to be fooled. I thank all the others who have written stories that make me feel better knowing it’s not just me who was so easily wooed by a scammer.
April 6th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Hi Amy
Well done for recognising something was not right.
Surgery for a heart defect, particularly emergency surgery, would be performed on the NHS (National Health Service) and would not cost money. You would pay, either yourself or through your insurance, if you went to a private hospital but that would be your personal choice, as everyone here can simply go to an NHS hospital. Of course someone not from the UK would easily assume the UK is like the US … because they see it on the tv!!
There are LOADS of Western Union offices in Mumbai … good call.
April 12th, 2011 at 6:14 am
Hello all,
I have taken the time to read all these posts. I dont want to say I am glad to not be the only one,but it is honestly how I feel.
I have read so many sites about scammers,all the things to look for. Here is what happened to me.
I had been on an internet pen pal site. And actually have some realy good friends from there. I wanted to add that so people know not everyone is bad.
Anyway, I met a man who said his name was Drake Morgan, 37, son named Jason who was 7, wife died in an automobile accident, his mother is single and he is in miltary in Iraq. Well, we talked for around a month, and it started. Asked for money, got into an accident and needed more, so on and so on…of course, he was a scammer. He is actually a 24 year old nigerian student. Of course he professed his love, I left after I told him what kind of a child he was. He wrote back and said I was mean…yeah, whatever.
I decided that so many good people were on the site that I stayed, and made a few more really great friends. About 7 months ago, a man emailed me. Ahmed Saf, from Turkey, 37, single, no kids. He was very nice, polite, patient, and I figured good. In all the time, 7 months, he has not once asked me for money or anything he should not ask for. I had checked online, looked all over and found an average amount of info about this man Ahmed. No red flags no small gnawing away at the gutt. So we developed what I thought was a great friendship. About three days ago, I was wandering the net and typed in his ‘dads’ name. Funny, (sarcastic obviously) but the man he called dad, died in september. Yet he told me a that his father visited him a few days ago at work. I asked Ahmed, and he finally revealed all. On the internet pen pal site, he said he had emailed me several times and that I hadnt answered, he said he got the idea to use a different picture. And he said he was angry when I answered the letter from ‘Ahmed’ but wanted to talk to me so badly, that he kept the lie going. Like I said, he never once asked me for anything, he sent pictures of things I asked for. Not just random. I have his phone number, it actually goes to turkey, I have what I think is his address, I have sent a letter and he got it. I was insistent on things after the nigerian scammer. I mean what more can I ask for? Next, Ill be requesting, passport, drivers license, rental agreement, bills that show his name at the address…. I told him how I felt, hurt, used, stupid, and I feel like a joke. What was the reason for 7 months of talking and caring? He didnt ask for or get anything. So it made no sense. At least with others, they want money. This one, Im confused. I guess I will be for a while, its only been a couple of days.
I hate that these kinds of people exist. And I hate that good people have to be paranoid whenever someone says hello. Its just not fair.
I hope I have not taken too much of your time. But I wanted you to know that some are not after money, what it is they are after, I dont know. But it still hurts.
April 12th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Hi Tara
It is very hard not to be cynical once you’ve been scammed.
If he has asked for nothing and is sending all the information you ask for, and you can verify it, then no real harm has been done .. other than being lied to. That’s the problem with lying, it’s so easy to get into but very hard to get out of.
What did he get out of it? Someone to chat to, the excitement of receiving messages and feeling loved .. as well as someone to feel love for. Emotions are funny old things and the feeling of getting into a relationship, even online, is a total high and highs are addictive.
April 12th, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Right girls here is a list of some names that ive been asked to send money to for stupid reasons such as medical bills, soldier leave request, put money onto my credit card, buy a phone…etc so if you happen to come across them then dont even waste your time with them!
All these guys have asked me for something or another and ive told them all to get lost!
Chris Brown, American from London out in Florida selling a house and short of money to fly back home even though owns a 5 bed house in UK.
Gary Mabie, American in Nigeria on construction project…needed to have my credit card details to transfer money over.
Jeff Adams, claims to be from UK working in the US and then Ghana on satellite installations and needs a phone
Juan Villareal, us soldier living in uk but assigned to british army…wants money for sons school trip or a phone
Richard Williams, us soldier in Nigeria requested a leave pass
Rolland Scott, american contractor in south africa wanting money put on credit card for mothers medical expenses back in US
John Alexander, fake US Soldier requested leave pass
Ben Shiffer, fake US Soldier requested leave pass
Robert James, fake US Soldier
Tony Gregory, fake US Soldier
John Mateo, fake US Soldier
Sgt Graham, fake US Soldier
Eric Shaw, fake US Soldier
Carl Smith, fake US Soldier
Michael Richard Paul, fake US Soldier
Tom Mahun, fake US Soldier
John Rochas, fake US Soldier
Lukas Meyer, an american/german in South Africa running his dads construction business and needs a phone…hates being called a scammer
John Fisher, an american in Mali, Africa working on an orphanage. Has a small son with him and needs medical assistance for malaria jabs. He sends a fake american address to get you to believe him…its an engineering works really!
Kevin Crosby, lives in UK and owns a health centre but claims to be in Libya rescuing workers out there and needs money to get home. Have spoken on phone and puts on a northern accent but is african in nigeria.
***************************************
I hope this information helps you girls out if you happen to come across them. I have now in fact met a real guy who lives here in the UK close to me and am dating him now. Have never been happier so it can work if you persevere with it and sieve out the fakes from the real ones. I have also made friends with a REAL american soldier now and after i told him what had happened with the fakes, he was pretty angry that they could do that to the army and so he proved the lot to me on cam by showing me his uniform, his tags, his military ID and called me on the phone so until they can do this do not believe them no matter what they say! They are only after your money otherwise.
Take Care All
April 12th, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Hi Sarah
Thanks so much for this information.
Many congratualtions on your new relationship, may it be a long and happy one. It’s always better to look for someone close to home, may not seem as exciting but at least you know he is real
Sally
April 21st, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Hi, I met a guy online about 2 weeks ago. He claims to live in Vero Beach, Florida and is Nigerian here on a work visa. His company is an import/export antique business. He has set me up and asked me for money 3 times so far but declares he is not a scammer or lying to me. He says he’s just having some misfortune. He always seems to get the money when I refuse whether it’s borrowed from someone or his grandmother gets what she needs on credit. Surprisingly, I have seen him two times on a webcam because he is trying to show me he is real and not scamming me although the pics he sent are not who I see on the webcam. He goes by the name Gary Kings and I met him on faithmate.com. His African name is Oluwaseun Okie or so he says. I suspect he is a scammer and he is very good at what he does. He has
spent lots of time talking to me but I don’t trust him one bit. His email address is garykings@yahoo.com. I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him any more after he asked me for money the first time and and he is very persistent. Is he even worth checking out further? I have not been able to find anything on him on any of the scamming sites, not even the pics he sent me. He fits the majority of the criteria you sited in your blog posts. How in the heck do I get rid of him? Thank you in advance for you time.
April 21st, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Hi Beni
You ask if he is worth checking out further .. he lied about his name and used stolen photo’s .. so what do you think, is he worth checking out? NO.
You told him you didn’t want to chat after the first time he asked for money BUT he has asked 3 times and you are still talking to him!!! Why?
He’s a scammer so just block him. Don’t waste your time thinking you can save him or he desrves any kindness, if you hadn’t worked out he was a scammer he would be taking you for every cent you have now. BLOCK HIM. Don’t answer any emails, even to say I am blocking you … just BLOCK HIM totally.
April 25th, 2011 at 1:26 pm
I am very skeptical about dating sites now. I had someone ask me for pics and he sent some of himself and I feel vulnerable, wondering if it was a scammer using them to scam someone else. Ugh.
April 25th, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Hi Sally, I am from Perth, Western Australia. Please let me know if this guy is a scammer, if not, please delete his name and email address when you publish this comment.
2 weeks ago I had contact with ***** ******, 60yrs old , claiming to be Warrant Officer US Army in Iraq, email ********@yahoo.com. good looking photos. Nothing came out when I googled his name. Soon after a short chat on site suggested we go to msn. Two days later he’s proclaiming he found the special love of his life. I was dumbfounded, I started looking for whatever I can find about his name, in Norfolk, Virginia which he said he lived and own a house. Fortunately, I came across this site, read the scams and how it progressed from initial contact. So I was warned.
On our first chat he asked my time, now I am in Perth, West Australia and the time difference would be 5 hours and pointed this to him to establish timing. The third time we chat he again asked for my time, I said maybe you tell me your time or workout my time here, he gave a time which is nowhere near the 5 hrs difference I told him the first time we chat. (Red flag) For one educated, the spelling is not good. No contact for 3 days then today, supposed to be his birthday. I sent email early 7am- which would have been 2 am in Iraq. Not long after he’s online. I asked him why early, and has he been to bed yet. He’s reply he can’t sleep, apparently, he has problem he cannot handle which worried him.
I told him I’m listening if he wants to share. After reassuring that this is private and should be between us, he said he got personal stuff to send home held up in African Customs with his friend. I said , Oh you too? I heard a lot of this story going on. It never ocurred to me I will read this stuff from you. I know what is going on and I am sorry I am of no help to you. He said, ‘What story?’ I said this stuff about Africa. The next thing you will be asking is to send you money right? Then you can take a mortgage on your home in Norfolk, Virginia, you have one you said so. He said ‘Oh are you saying im a Liar?’ I said, no, I did not say that, it’s just the nature of things. Now tell me in what part of the world are you now? How did your stuff ended in Africa? Why can’t the Army send them home for you. Please explain. I love you. He said, Im sorry I cant tell you anymore OK. I love you too.
I really think there are other people in cohorts with these scammers. Because in his Yahoo profile post there are others who left comments which seems to authenticate that this person is what he is. But we need to think ahead of them. If it seems too good to be true then stop and think.
April 25th, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Hi Ruth
I’ve taken his name and email out because I can’t find anything on him but the story sounds too much like a scammer.
There is an easy test … ask him to send you an email from his military email account. It should end with @us.army.mil (it can differ but must end .mil).
If he makes excuses for not sending this email then he’s a scammer and you can come back and add his name and email.
April 26th, 2011 at 8:33 am
Sally, thank you for your comments. He’s definitely a scammer. There’s a blog about him in 101date.com.
April 26th, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Hi Ruth
Thanks for letting us know, could you please leave his name and email again to warn others.
April 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am
I have done some checks and am convinced that this guy Robert Burgess , 60yrs old from Norfolk, Virginia, warrant officer US Army in Iraq is a fraud. His email addresses burgess112003@yahoo.com and burgess1120034u@hotmail.com . His emails were traced and were originating fron the city of Accra in Ghana.
April 27th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
I don’t know what is a sadder comment on our society
1) That the kind of people that pull these scams exist
2) That the kind of people that fall for these scams exist.
I have little sympathy for anyone that sends any money over the internet to someone they have never met before. If they don’t have that level of common sense, they should not be allowed to use the internet by themselves.
April 30th, 2011 at 2:25 am
What an unhappy person you must be. Your unhappiness has robbed you of even the most basic spirit of compassion. How can you be so heartless. Are you a person that sees someone drowning and shouting for help, and you throw them a brick complete with a sermon on the dangers of water. I will pray for you. There is something missing from your very soul. Why would you poison a positive informational site with your venom. I could go on and on about this but I believe it would be to no avail. You, have scammer potential. As most scammers are without compassion as you are. I would not want to hold you up any longer. I am sure there are some dogs you would like to kick or wings to pull off of flies.
The people who send money to those they have not met are the ones THAT GOD SMILES UPON. BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTAND HIS FIRST LAW…LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. GOD BLESS you AND KEEP you and your family. MAY HIS FAVOR BE MADE MANIFEST IN your life and the lives of your family.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:35 pm
JT who are you speaking to?
May 7th, 2011 at 5:45 am
NEVER, NEVER, EVER allow someone to make you feel shame and stupid. There is nothing wrong with being a good person with a kind heart. You are precious in this world full of not so nice people. I am a person just like you. I was sort of scammed. I only sent 200.00 but I had phone bills of 1400.00. I enjoyed my time with my scammer and he made me realize that I was ready to live and love again. So please stop being down on yourself and try to find something positive from the experience. I did and I am not ashamed nor do I feel stupid for genuinely loving a man I had not met.
JT
May 7th, 2011 at 2:20 pm
Hi JT
What a brilliant post … Amen to that.
May 7th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Hi JT
yes i will try to overcome my feeling , its just right now i am so furious about this whole thing. Time heals as they say. But life has to go on. Now i dont really trust anymore because of all of this.I might even scared to fall in love again. SO time will tell. I will enjoy my time with my only daughter who gives me all the love that i need right now. take care and we will be stronger people.
May 7th, 2011 at 5:46 am
Canada Immigrant a very mean spirited individual.
May 7th, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Geegee,
Please do not allow this experience to dictate who you are. GOD CREATED you JUST THE WAY HE WANTED you!!! I am speaking from experience, you want to protect yourself from being hurt again. I get that and I understand but what you will be doing is going against your very nature. We are “hard wired” a certain way. When try to behave in a manner that goes against our nature, we begin an internal struggle between our mind and our spirit. Your spirit is one of a loving, devoted and gracious woman. We can try to change who we are, but the trouble comes when we try to change for a negative reason and not for the betterment of our lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanted to be loved, we all feel that. Even the meanest person. But when you start to compartmentalize our lives we shut up attributes that define who we are. You have one of the best reasons in the world not to change who you are, that is your daughter. What do you think she will learn from your mistrust? Children learn what they live. If she lives in suspicion, she will learn to be mistrustful of everyone. She deserves the opportunity to experience all the great and wonderful people in this great big world. Do you want her to keep herself closed off because of your bad experience? I know that you do not. Love is out there. If you want it badly enough, go out there and experience life. Keep your eyes peeled for those people that are out to get what they want by trickery. You are a much wiser woman than you once were. You have the ability to spot a fake a mile away and in my book that puts you in the “winner” column. Enjoy this wonderful and surprising life to the fullest. Let go of the shame and mistrust and LIVE!!!!!!!
GOD LOVES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE!!! I admire who you are!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Your story will help others.
JT
April 29th, 2011 at 11:03 am
Beware of Christopher Irons email soldierchris1122@yahoo.com From Santa Barbara working in Iraq sends lovely emails and falls in love within a day. When you questioned about his honesty gets very nasty and abusive in broken english. Not long after that I got an email from Valentino Wilson his email is valwilson14@yahoo.com Beware they are both scammers. They picked the wrong person I’m too smart and have nothing to give them but me. The one thing they had in common in their profile was the GOD Fearing comments. Hope this helps others not to be conned by very nasty people.
MilitaryDatingOnline
April 29th, 2011 at 11:25 pm
dear sally
i think i have been scammed. Do you think you can check out something for me? His name is johnson jea. He said he lives in the UK and works for oil co., his own supposedly. Dont know the name either. I never asked maybe i should. He has an accent when i talked to him. He said he sent me a box with a courier. The the problem started. The courier started calling saying that he is stuck somewhere and need money to clear the box and supposedly stuck in LA again. So i was dumbed enough to get suckered in. Then for some reason i felt something was wrong with this picture and i started calling to check up on his story. He said that he apprehended by the FBI and when i cld the FBI, too late then, i was informed that FBI doesnt do those kind of appehension but the custom and border patrol would detain for questioning. So do you think you check this guy out for me. Yeas i fell inlove with him but now i think i got suckered in. thanks sally.
please respond to my email address only.
May 4th, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Hi Geegee
I have dealt with this via email … total scam I’m afraid.
May 4th, 2011 at 11:41 pm
Hi Geegee,
I was scammed the exact way and infact I was not even in love with the man who contacted me, it was a man who proposed for a business deal but from what I see it is a total scam and yes Sally has also confirmed that too. Don’t believe a word they say its all a scam, this FBI and customs is only a way to make you scared and such a thing does not exist infact if the person/courier starts calling take an authority with you and capture them as they are even willing to see you in person when you agree to pay them. Speaking out of experience.
Take care
May 6th, 2011 at 1:43 am
hi sunny, yes i was mad at myself for not chcking further before. But i was scared and afraid that i could be arrested for the stuff that was supposedly inside the box. I was suckered in rel bad. But now i will put my head up high and will become a stronger person. I will deal for what i have lost. I cannot believe that this really happened to me.
I am ashamed and feel stupid.
May 7th, 2011 at 12:37 am
No my friend you should not be ashamed or feel the way you do, yes things went wrong but think it as a bad dream and be happy that you are alright. Time will heal you like it did me.
Wish you the best and take care.
May 7th, 2011 at 6:20 pm
hi Sunny, the thing is i dont think the courier is even was in LA. His cell number after i checked it out belongs to a cell number in Malaysia. So i think all this time he was in malaysia. I wish i could find a way to find out the name that registered on that number. I dont think Edward Jones is his real name either. He relly scared me with FBI.
But i have to go on with my life with my head high and become a stronger person. Yes it is nothing wrong to feel love and wantedd, but we spent talking for quite awhile and i trusted him. Based on the time difference between the scammer, i figures he is probably in Praia in Cape Verde. Been trying to locate him so i can get him arrested, but that is just a dream too. Did you go to the police withthis Sunny?
Thanks for responding
May 8th, 2011 at 1:00 am
Hi, yes i tried to report online filed a complaint to the Malaysian police against the man well honestly i got no response. I suggest if you have his photos why dont you upload his photo on romancescam and see if that same man is listed, if he is then you spot the scammer through the site. The other day out of the blue the face book suggested his name to add on my site i immediately spotted him warned the women on his list and reported to facebook. Everyone talks about reporting online to FBI but i guess its easier for US citizens and in UK you can lodge a complaint if he were using UK number. The threat about FBI is rubbish dont believe them, i made the mistake no one told me about it but you trust my word that is just a scam.
May 4th, 2011 at 11:46 pm
Hi Sally,
Yesterday I spotted the scammer on facebook and he has the cheek to use the same photos he used with me and some other women. I saw in his profile he has contacts all women, wish there was more I could do although I started a threat on romancescam. That man is a big timer and does exactly what Geegee is going through and of course has other tricks up his sleeves.
May 5th, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Hi Sunny
Report him to FB, can’t remember what the options are but if you press report/block and report him, just click the ones that says something like “is not the person they say they are” or something like that.
It doesn’t always work (maybe if they get a certain of complaints about a person?) but it does work sometimes and keeps them on the run.
May 6th, 2011 at 11:58 am
for about two weeks I have been emailing a woman I saw on match,com. she was supposedly here in Maine, but from her first message she is actually in Nigeria. (long story, of course) she’s giving her name as Sanya Badmus. the photos she has sent me have been unbelieveable, whoever this woman is I would love to meet her!! but I have checked out a few other web sites that track scammer email addresses as well as the photos they use. I have spent HOURS looking for this particular person and they don’t seem to be anywhere else. most of the scammers seem to like YAHOO for email, this person is using gmail. I am a professional photographer and the photos are not downloaded from a modeling agency web site. this person has not started asking for money, YET, but this morning they suggested we stop emailing and move to a messenger. I’m working up an excuse for why I can’t. but since she isn’t on any of the anti-scam sites I have painstakingly looked over does it mean this person is new to the business?? or a very very slim chance she is legit?? I think I know the answer to that. I am curious to see what happens next and I am going to continue the corespondence, but as soon as any money is asked for it will come to an abrupt end. has anyone else heard of this person, or can you suggest what other kind of search I can do to check them out? thanks.
May 6th, 2011 at 11:38 pm
Hi Marty
I think we both know the chances of her being legit are very close to zero. Of course the way to find out is to go on webcam … does her image match her photo? (they usually look nothing like the photo, if they don’t make 100 reasons they can’t go on cam).
As victims learn so do scammers .. you can google her email address and so can she (if it is a she). Of course the moment she/he spots the email address, name or photos registering on scam sites it’s time to create a new persona and that takes about 5 minutes to create.
If she is white look on Russian bride sites for her photo … could take forever as there are so many but there are some gorgeous ladies on those sites and the photos have in the past been easy to download.
If she is a coloured lady then look at model sites from Hawii if memory serves me correctly and check out Nigerian model agency sites.
Keep the attitude no matter what … any request for money, no matter how good the sob story, and it’s block and delete!!
May 7th, 2011 at 5:39 am
Marty,
I have some history with a young man who lives in Nigeria. When he finally admitted the truth, after the many times that I told him that I knew what he was, I asked him what he had done with the 200.00 that I sent to him. He said that he gave 100.00 to his pregnant sister. When I asked her name he said Sonya. His last name is Badmus. So I felt compelled to write to you. I do not know how common the last name of “Badmus” is but I would not be surprised if she were his sister.
I agree with Sally SEND NO MONEY. No matter how badly she pleads with you. I wish you success in your search for love. She is out there, maybe right under your nose. That would be great.
JT
May 7th, 2011 at 7:11 am
@marty she is probably really a He scammers do this all the time lives in Maine and now in Nigeria that is because he/she never left Nigeria to begin with.